| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:48:17 PM | | I don't think the importance of sex deminishes as you get older, but life experience (I don't like the term maturity because it's too misleading) changes your priorities. When I was a younger man, sex with anyone was okay ... it served it's purpose. But as I've gotten older, I've realized (for me) having sex (making love) to someone who really mattered to me, was much more gratifying in the end. In all honesty (to me), sex for sex's sake can be had by masterbating (zero complications ... except maybe carpal tunnel syndrome ... depending on how zealous you are). There are a lot of "sacrifices/compromises" that come with a relationship. But when you love someone it doesn't really seem to matter. Bottom line; sex can be every bit as good at 50 as it is at 20 ... it just depends on your perspective. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:22:02 AM |
Of course sex is important - it's the connection between two people who want to share their most intimate selves and i want alot more than a hug & kiss goodnite - I can get that from my Son, a friend, relative etc.....I believe it keeps you young and in touch with each other.
I totally agree with missfee1 and to answer the question, sex has always been important to me. It's just an important now at 53 as it "once was". Fortunately my desire has never gone away. I have no idea if it's true but I like to think a healthy sex drive has kept me feeling and looking younger than my age. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:56:39 PM | | To me, sex is more important than it once was. Even though, I have dated guys that were having issues (impotent). They did something about it because theirs was due to health problems. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:10:46 PM | | My last relationship (of 20 years) was with a man who had NO sex drive...and I stayed monogomous! I don't want to live through that again. My next relationship, he better be prepared, as I have 20 years to make up for. So, yes, an amazing and satisfying sex life is important to me. Hey, it gets better as you get older. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/2/2009 9:42:28 PM | Well in Maslow's hierachy of needs, sex was on the same level as air and water. You can live a short time with out water, and only 6 minutes with out air so.....
In otherwords, I think it is important and I would not want to live without it in my next marriage. I can accept the evolution of the changes that can occur in life but I wouldn't go into a relationship expecting to live without that. I simply wouldn't want to. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/3/2009 8:20:35 AM | | Sex is not as important as WARMTH and HUMOR at this point. Been around enough stressful drama and activity queens to know that, especially as I move into my later years, I want to be with someone who enjoys the art of relaxation...and laughter. If she can veg like a champ, between bouts of exercise, and she's into sitcoms, funny movies and SNL, she's a keeper, and, chances are, if we possess those qualities, the sex will be fantastic too, because we'll be in a healthy and happy mindset to enjoy it!!! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/3/2009 7:47:52 PM | Yes. When in my 20's it was raw sex. Now that I am older and wiser realized intimacy, foreplay and her pleasure not just mine made the difference in the world. Also do not have to worry about being interrupted by kids, pregnancy and not to mention the fact spouse developed trust and openness to express what her desires and needs to me.
But then another night of hot raw sex would be great now and then too  | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/8/2009 1:00:11 PM | Yes....It's important...but as an integral part of a strong relationship....
*Casual* sex...as in a dating format - just for the sake of it- doesn't interest me...
unless it relays the intent of a monogamous relationship....
I can be 'friends' with homely women or Gorgeous women...I'd just rather start a relationship with someone I find attractive enough to make love to on a regular basis...
Moreso for HER pleasure than mine...
because I like pleasing my partner more than myself..!! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/8/2009 8:49:31 PM | I haven't read through all 19 pages to see if anyone actually said "no, it's not important"
For me, if we aren't having regular sex, I start feeling grumpy. Even though we are both very affectionate, holding hands and cuddling all the time, it's not the same as that ultimate connection. I am really glad at 57 he has no problems with impotency. If he did, I would accept it, but I would be lying if I said I would not miss having him inside me. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/24/2009 5:27:34 PM | As a 50 year old married man that discovered chatting and email late in life -- I never knew how important sex was until I met other woman that were also married, separated or divorced.
Keeping things bottled-up did not serve me well -- and this seems to be true with some of the married woman I've chatted with . . .
So I guess it's more important now, then when I was younger. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:26:35 PM | Sure sex is important and just like men we women want it to be good. Yet, I am sure that most want the entire package and sometimes sex is at the top of it all and sometimes not. If things happen good or bad ... you role with the punches and if you love someone... it is what it is.
I like sex more now than ever. ... Just me. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 3/25/2009 9:41:29 AM | Truthfully, it's MUCH more important to me now at this stage in my life. I appreciate it more; I feel it more; I express it more; it IS more! And, a lot of it has to do with my newfound self-appreciation; being comfortable with who I have become; and being able to love someone else openly, honestly and appreciate himf or who and what he has become. When you're younger; you're clueless and don't know it. You can't relax and just be yourself; you've got to prove something. But, now, with maturity; oh, damn ... it's lovely.
However, I will say, I enjoy the JOURNEY much more now than I do the DESTINATION. Gives me a headache! ;) This is a very intimate topic, and 20 or 30 years ago, I would not have been able to answer it honestly. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 5/17/2009 2:37:34 PM | | It's called VIAGRA..the majority of men who I know are all on VIAGRA to keep their flagpoles flying!! and standing at attention erect for a long time...but is VIAGRA really that safe... | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 5/17/2009 3:21:25 PM | | Speaking purely for myself, sex is not necessarily more important now, but it is more enjoyable now, than it ever was. I am comfortable in my own skin and I know what I like. Sex and lovemaking are two different things. Wirh sex, you are satisfying a physical need. With love making, you are satifying an emotional one. When you are in love, you are or should be compassionate to the other's needs and wants, and just being held and loved goes a long way. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 5/17/2009 5:54:43 PM | It's not that sex is less important, it's that my priorities in a relationship have evolved.
When I am in a relationship, intimacy is important, whether it's physical or emotional. I've had a partner who couldn't have sex when I was in my 30's; he was a wonderful guy and we were close in so many other ways, it didn't matter.
If I found someone I really loved, I'd want to be with him no matter what and express that love any way I can. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 5/17/2009 7:53:19 PM |
I know as we age, certain priorities come to the forefront. Also physiological and mental changes come into play, which may change our need or want for sex. I`m just curious how aging has effected your sexual appetite
My libido or desire for sex, is higher now than at any stage in my life. Howevr, the only acceptable for m of expression for that desire, is in the form of making love, not
casual sex, friends with benefits, sport fvcking or a fvck buddy.
If good and satisfying sex would be considered imperitive to you in a relationship, has it`s level of importance when weighing the value of a relationship changed?
I would not enter in to a relationship where sexual expression as a form of love is not important. It is very important to me, probably more important now than at other stages in my life. I went through several phases of self imposed celibacy during my life
and now it the time I am ready to be a fully sexual woman.
Would you consider a sexless or less frequent or lower quality sex life now , which you might not have considered when you were younger?
I would not consider a sexless relationship, unless after I have entered a long term commited relationship a health issue such as cancer made sexual expression an impossibility, and caused my lover to no longer be able to perform. I faced this situation with my husband who became fully impotent in 2002 after his second c ancer surgery. I stayed with him and became celibate. I made a commitment to him and would never consider cheating.
Frequency of love making would be negotiable. In and ideal world I would make love daily. If I were living under the same roof with my lover I would expect regular opportunities for sexual expression, but would accept a lower frequency determined by the realities of life.
What is your definition of "lower quality" sex life? I have high demands for emotional connection with a lover. I no longer engage in casual sex in any form. I don't need a sexual gymnast who can perform every position in the Kama Sutra, nor a man whose stamina could have him last longer than "normal". I don't even need a lover who has an instantaneous erection without the assistance of medication like viagra, cialis or levitra. This is an evolution from my younger days when I had my period of sports fvcking and I wanted it hard at the snap of my fingers.
What is important to me is the quality of the "love making". I demand high quality lovemaking, which entails far more than just penetration. It involves foreplay. It involves kissing, holding each other, touch, intimate conversation, and emotional connectedness. It involves caring as much for your partner's satisfaction as it does caring about your own. The end goal is more or less growing the connection with the other person just as much as feeling good and having an orgasm. The afterplay is also just as important as the foreplay. The kissing, the holding each other, the pillow talk.
My current lover is wonderful, without a doubt the best lover I have ever had in my life. The love making starts with the first kiss hello when he arrives at my home, and continues until he leaves the next day. Every conversation we have is foreplay, a loving exchange of how we feel about one another. The romantic candlelit dinner we have is foreplay. The time we sit and talk about the events of the day. The love making doesn't just start when the clothes come off and doesn't end when we get dressed.
When I was younger and more driven by sex for the sake of sex, an encounter would average an hour or so. Now the naked genital focused love making from beginning to sleep lasts more like five or six hours. At this stage in my life this more romantic expression of sex, making love, is more emotionally fulfilling, more physically satisfying, and absolutely required for any relationship. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 5/19/2009 10:28:32 PM | Msg#471
Speaking purely for myself, sex is not necessarily more important now, but it is more enjoyable now, than it ever was. I am comfortable in my own skin and I know what I like. Sex and lovemaking are two different things. Wirh sex, you are satisfying a physical need. With love making, you are satifying an emotional one. When you are in love, you are or should be compassionate to the other's needs and wants, and just being held and loved goes a long way.
^^^^^^^^^
I agree with you 100%. Well said. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 5/19/2009 11:15:20 PM |
I know as we age, certain priorities come to the forefront. Also physiological and mental changes come into play, which may change or need or want for sex.
How true. When my husband (now ex) took a job 200 miles away, called me from his brother's house to tell me how much fun he was having while I struggled to raise and homeschool two preteens and an autistic preschooler on my own, only came home on weekends, didn't lift a finger to help, avoided our special needs child, fell asleep on the couch at 9 pm and then bothered me for sex when all I wanted to do was collapse by that time, I didn't want or need sex. I was 47.
I`m just curious how aging has effected your sexual appetite, and if good and satisfying sex would be considered imperitive to you in a relationship, and has it`s level of importance when weighing the value of a relationship changed? Would you consider a sexless or less frequent or lower quality sex life now , which you might not have considered when you were younger?
Of course. Certainly we'd all like to have that "perfect lover"; one who can read our minds and anticipate every sexual need (and perform), but who is like that in RL -- especially after a certain age?
If anything, I feel more sexy and less inhibited now because I don't have to worry about getting pregnant again. My appetite is strong and stable, thank you. However, at this stage of my life, if I could just find someone to love and to grow old with, I would be happy even if the union could not be consummated - because making love is so much more than just intercourse. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 5/20/2009 12:02:10 AM | | It's as, if not more important. Once you know how it can be, you can only seek to improve on that. But, there has to be a human/spiritual bond and not just the dating frenzy. That is where the "improvement" lies. Trust is key. Communication and consistency can really nurture the soul. As I get older, I realize there is less time to just give in to immediate gratification. I want my next relationship to have a comfort and a trust level to exceed what I "settled" for before-- w/o all the game playing and just being able to be me, and he will be similarly "at peace". Gotta be simple and flowing. | |
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