| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:06:03 AM | My sexual appetite hasn't changed at all. My sex life is by no means of lower quality and I'm more than happy with the quantity!
Sex is vitally important to me as it's 'us' time and as we only see each other 3/4 times a week 'us' time is important. | |
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| Ranran: sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:22:42 AM | | Gads....saw your profile and photos...wow!!. Good thing you live in Michigan. I would have to tarnish my reputation as a stuffed shirt! What you say it true...."intimacy goes well beyond the skin." | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:56:02 AM | "I find at my present age that sex without some kind of emotion is nothing but alot of hard work, and the deeper the emotions, the better the sex is."
"I would rather be alone than in a sexless ,or lower quality sex life. "
i whole heartedly agree!!! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:06:00 AM | ...Unfortunately or fortunately for me, I discovered good sex, but not until I reached my mid thirties....up until then I was convinced that I was just not a sexual person. "Frigid" was a widely used term and believe me, I was called that on more than one ocassion. It wasn't until I met my second husband and realized...it wasn't me, it never was. He knew exactly how to please a woman, how to excite, evoke a passion and desire so strong....a desire that I never even knew existed....I felt shameless at times, but happy.....
I also discovered that yes, sex is important to a healthy and balanced relationship...but you can do just fine without it too.....and sadly, I speak from experience.
...maeflowers | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 12:22:22 PM | | When I was young, sexual and physical chemistry was very important to me; now physical chemistry is still important, but happiness & emotional chemistry is foremost to me in a relationship. At my age, an intimate relationship means having a strong connection of the mind and soul, an understanding of each others beliefs and values, and an openness about each others intimate feelings. If a sexual relationship develops.....that's a bonus, but for now my priorities are making a strong, healthy and lasting commitment with a soul mate! If that means having limited or no quality of sex, I am willing to make that sacrifice. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 1:19:30 PM | I also discovered that yes, sex is important to a healthy and balanced relationship...but you can do just fine without it too
Yeah, but for how long? There is this longing in all of us to be touched. Massage parlors are constantly busy - because of that longing or, is it, need? Women love to open up on every level including physically. It's a beautiful sight to watch the lotus bloom. ;-) That shouldn't be denied any women.
So this talk of sex in the past tense bothers me when it's still the most fascinating and mysterious and flat-out pure fun! activity lovers can engage in. What does age have to do with that? | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 1:54:58 PM | Sex isn't the least bit important to me but it never has been so that isn't something that just came about with age. However, making love IS critically important to me and I would not be in a relationship that didn't hold as its priority, the ability for my lover and I to get away from life and go to that beautiful place where only we can go. I have been in relationships where my partner thought it was okay for our lovelife to simply use sex as a stress-buster and I not only found it lonely but I resented the hell out of his doing so.
If anything, the ability to truly make love with the person I most admire has become even more important to me than it ever was as I've become less busy with the previous roles I carried. I think that the moments of tender affection that a person can share with another are all foreplay and when we love someone, it flows naturally into our coupleship. But when we don't have that, life is bleak because we find ourselves living in want and yearning without being able to scratch the "itch"...
While I can easily live without sex, I can't even imagine being in love with someone and not being able to make love. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:29:16 PM | Silken Fire,
Nice post. I like the fact the you remind that "making love" and "having sex" are very different. One is selfish and self centered whereas the other is shared.  | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:33:31 PM |
So this talk of sex in the past tense bothers me when it's still the most fascinating and mysterious and flat-out pure fun! activity lovers can engage in. What does age have to do with that?
...Oh I don't think age has anything to do with it....having a significant other " to do it" with does
...maeflowers | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 4:06:37 PM | Get a sex-buddy! I've got one. She and I agreed that we would just have fun. Simple as that. And we do - it's been really fun for both of us. No strings, no demands, no ownership.
All this either/or stuff seems silly to me. Either one is madly in love or one goes without sex. That's taking on a lot of needless pressure. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:01:39 PM |
Get a sex-buddy! I've got one. She and I agreed that we would just have fun. Simple as that. And we do - it's been really fun for both of us. No strings, no demands, no ownership.
All this either/or stuff seems silly to me. Either one is madly in love or one goes without sex. That's taking on a lot of needless pressure
...No, I can't do that. I'm one of those silly people that need to feel something a whole lot more than just lust before I do the horizontal hula. Otherwise I might as well go down to the love shop and buy me a bob....its just as cold....no offense.
...maeflowers | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:18:14 PM | At the time I had just separated and was initiating a divorce on a scheduled yearly visit to my urologist I asked him how long I would continue to be interested in sex. This was in 1993, prior to the introduction of Viagra. He told me that some men at 50 had sex infrequently if at all and could care less if they ever had sex again. He also said that some men even at 90 and more remain interested in sex and are having it.
The urologist then told me those who have always had a strong sex drive tend to retain it whereas those who have weaker sex drives when young lose interest in sex sooner or peter out - my pun.
Just ask someone who works in a retirement home about what goes on among some, but not all, of the residents! I know a woman who runs one in Florida. She has told my some astounding stories. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:24:04 PM | Well, that does offend me. There nothing cold or insensitive about it - we respect each other enough to not want to control each other or, worse, play some game. All this talk about 'making love' or 'having sex' as though some magic line is needed to be crossed to define the two is hot air, nice high sounding hot air. Isn't it enough that we respect each other and want to see each other happy???
We take care of each other and we both know either of us is a phone call away from fun, pleasure and laughter. What's wrong with that kind of commitment to another?
In another post I read you said you didn't want to get married. Fine. But you want sex. Now how is that going to work? (without a sex-buddy) ;-) BOB?
Let's get real here. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:29:26 PM |
While I can easily live without sex, I can't even imagine being in love with someone and not being able to make love.
This not only captures my current attitude but shows the difference between my perspective now and what it was when I was younger.
I've always placed a high priority on lovemaking in a relationship. But I used to place regular sex as such a high priority that more than once I followed my penis into a relationship that didn't have everything else a good relationship should include.
I'm not foolish enough to claim I'll never make that mistake again. If I'm not committed to anyone and an attractive woman shows clear interest I may not be immune to the sirens song, but I'm not automatically seduced by it either.
I would say that I have a much more balanced approach now than I used to. I can take care of my own need for physical release, indefinitely if need be. The urge is just as ever-present, but my ability to keep my upper brain engaged when opportunity presents has increased.
Dave | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:53:54 PM |
Well, that does offend me. There nothing cold or insensitive about it - we respect each other enough to not want to control each other or, worse, play some game. All this talk about 'making love' or 'having sex' as though some magic line is needed to be crossed to define the two is hot air, nice high sounding hot air. Isn't it enough that we respect each other and want to see each other happy???
Sorry if I did ....but you were the one that she was your f*ck buddy....with no strings, no demands, no ownership....and to me, that sounds cold and insensitive....but if that kind of commitment makes you both happy....then I wish you continued happiness.
...maeflowers
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:09:34 PM | Well, guys know the game - but it's the woman who makes rules. And what are the rules?
You force us (you really do) to be less than honest - hypocrites, by any other word. So we have to go into a long refrain about how we really don't want to screw you, rather, we want to make love to you. So the game begins.
Why can't women go at it honestly? | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:09:42 PM |
All this talk about 'making love' or 'having sex' as though some magic line is needed to be crossed to define the two is hot air, nice high sounding hot air. Isn't it enough that we respect each other and want to see each other happy???
I guess it depends on what you as a person has experienced. For most of my life there was no difference between making love and having sex. BUT once you have experienced the difference it is very hard to go back. Not that either are not enjoyable, it is a matter of preferences.
The best way I can explain it ...having sex is like black and white, it is still a good image and some look better in it. Making love to me is like not only vivid colors but 3-D. It is another level, it isnt about just the physical..and the mental, but also a true connection that is so special and unique that you cant imitate it.
I feel that when you compromise and allow yourself to use or be used you have a tendency to numb down and accept less. That is just my opinion. I realize who I am and what I want in life and I know whoever I am finally with will have to have an amazing sex drive...but they will also have to have the ability to understand the difference between having sex and making love. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:11:02 PM |
Well, guys know the game - but it's the woman who makes rules. And what are the rules?
You force us (you really do) to be less than honest - hypocrites, by any other word. So we have to go into a long refrain about how we really don't want to screw you, rather, we want to make love to you. So the game begins.
Why can't women go at it honestly?
^ oh wow how crass that statement is women force you to lie....what other issues in your life are women responsible for?????
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:17:42 PM | Funny thing is, based on both my own experience and observing male friends, the guys who are completely upfront about what it is exactly they want are most likely to get exactly that.
I know that if I'm less than honest about what I'm after I tend to end up with less than what I was looking for.
Dave | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:21:32 PM |
Funny thing is, based on both my own experience and observing male friends, the guys who are completely upfront about what it is exactly they want are most likely to get exactly that.
Bingo! There's a much better chance of things developing because it doesn't start out with a big lie! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:30:59 PM | This reminds me of the lyrics to Shadowboxing by Fiona Apple:
So, darlin, I just wanna say.
Just in case I dont come through.
I was on to every play.
I just wanted you.
I think at times people think the other sex want games and some may in fact want to play.
However I doubt there are alot over the age of 45 who wont be up front and tell you if all they want is you...no game playing needed. I have had two men just point blank ask me this weekend. I thanked them for their offer and explained I wasnt interested and my reasons having nothing to do with them as an individual but for me, what I wanted and was comfortable with. Both of them told me they respected me and moved on.
To think someone would lie to me to lead me on is just totally stupid, there are so many others who are willing no one should ever have to lie to someone else to get what they want. I also doubt that alot over the age of 45 are going to be so easy to trick into anything, the few who have tried with me have been sadly mistaken. Hopefully the people who want just a sexual relationship will quickly realize Im not interested and move on. | |
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