| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 12:45:18 AM | Because you cant guage someone,s personality on line.I have dated guys i prob would not have dated just going on their pic.Having met someone and got to know them first and suddenly they can become George Clooney,Brad Pitt and Harrison Ford all rolled into one! | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:08:25 AM | Attraction isn't just about looks but also the type of person they are, their sense of humour, their personality, when you get to know someone better it can be power, responsibility, intellect and even wealth.
All the internet provides is a thumb sized photo and a profile, and maybe a message. You have to make a decision, and profiles and messages are generally the same and only get interesting or more depressingly boring as time goes on so your left with attractiveness, so you base your decision on that.
I am not an attractive man, but i do well because I make my messages special and stand out from the rest, and let them see a bit of personality and draw them away from my short comings in the looks dept, as I do in real life. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:16:32 AM | I'm amused by the tall women who need to warn men about it. Their height provides an instant excuse for us short horses to talk to their chesticles!
More seriously, I am sure I recollect notes of research indicating that appearnace is another of the factors in attraction to similarity of psyche. As I recollect, the theory is that major formative experiences produce subtle variations in appearance (some more apparent in motion, but some still present in still) that we subconsciously read. I don't think it has proved possible yet to achieve conscious recognition, or to enumerate specific artefact.
However, you don't need to be an expert on faces to be able to spot that Britney Spears was trailer trash, but June Tabor never was. Some men might be physically attracted to Ms Spears (or might once have been so attracted) others to Ms Tabor.
Surely we all realise this once it is enunciated? It is whywe put up (or at least some do) our best photos. Even if we are not here for s*x pure and simple, we want to be thought attractive. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 2:00:18 AM | It might be looks that attract people but I think it is the posture... as people who are aware of their maybe good looks or self confident have a different posture than the people who have A PROBLEM themselves about their looks.
At one point in my life my job involved dressing up people for the TV etc performances..
You would get really average people looking like top class and this is thanks to their confidence which you boost by choosing the look they would never think of and making their appearance glow.
But for example I remember one guy who was just perfect in body and looks but was obsessed with his looks and this was very annoying having to hear him repeating 'oh how this looks.. oh what do you think of this' and I thought no matter how he looked like he showed he was pathetically self centered and narcissistic.
Someone said to me if you have looks you do not need wits to pull 
This was from a guys point of view but I do not agree with it..
I think it is the self confidence that attracts us... and this can be artificially changed if I may say this.. so if anyone thinks their looks is their enemy why do not you work on your self confidence first..
It is all in the head 
On the other side your looks might be your enemy not your friend if you for example attract the wrong people due to your looks and people concentrated on your looks do not notice your personality.. IMO this is the most annoying thing that can happen..
I remember one episode when I was sitting in a car with the most attractive guy I could imagine.. and I kept quiet confused with my own reaction.. I could not even talk .. his looks had so powerful impact that I forgot why I was there.. my creativity was blown and I was just nodding
And the guy who by his own criteria had me there to catch on my opinion was quite annoyed and he said something like 'my god you are agreeing with everything' so he obviously wanted me to concentrate on his brain which was impossible for me at that place and time | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 2:33:53 AM | | That is so true urban, what is inside will always change your perspectives,it is the inner glow that matters, and who wrote the rules anyway?? | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 2:51:14 AM | people judge by looks because society says we have to, all the while there are magazines on the shelf saying we have to be big chested blonde haired size zero's ppl will judge you on how you look!!!!
I for one am pretty blind without my glasses and if im out on the pee with my beer goggles on too any man stands a chance!!! personality far out weighs what a person looks like i have learnt that if iv learnt anything. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:21:52 AM | its more enjoyable to kiss a pretty face than an ugly one ...
its nicer to squeeze a firm bottom than a fat wobbly one ..
long slim legs look better in stockings than short fat ones ...
no amount of "inner beauty" will make you fancy someone if you just don't like the look of them .....
personality is equally important .. .. but with it being equal the physical attraction is just as important .... i think if we are honest we would all rather look at a partner and think .. phworgh | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:24:24 AM | Luckily, we will all get older and our looks will fade in time. Good looks is just like wrapping paper on a present, it makes it look good but ultimately we want whats inside.
Be sure the good looking person you are with has a fantastic personality when everything starts to go south.
Personality counts far more. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 9:35:26 AM |
i think if we are honest we would all rather look at a partner and think .. phworgh
If my man made me laugh...a real big belly laugh......Held my attention forlonger then 5 minutes and kissed me like id never been kissed before then i'd think pwhoaaarrrrrrrrrr
We need a certain look to draw us in but as already stated looks fade hopefull inner beauty and personality wont unless the person in time gets broken in life then it will....... | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 9:40:38 AM | I dont know why peopel judge by looks but they do
I get on with every bloke , till he sees my pic then its bye bye ! | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 1:48:47 PM |
Why do people use looks to initially decide to talk to someone.
After all I don't judge a book by its cover.
I have noticed several women will only give you glancing look and on dating website don't even get a reply to my message!
For me I tend to judge a person firstly by their personality, secondly by their heart and then by the looks.
It would be nice to get a women's perspective on this.
It is in my opinion that people be they male or female are visual creatures and for the most part will go for what attracts them initially, personalty usually comes second. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 4:39:42 PM | I don't get it either. For a start I've met some people who have looked absoloutely nothing like their photograph - either for better or worse. Some people are not photogenic at all but are not ugly - whatever ugly is!
My sister always says that if you put my ex's in a line and looked for a common denominator it would be that they are male - different colours, shapes sizes, bald hairy etc. I just like people and I think sometimes when you meet someone they can actually change appearance wise as you get to know them - again for better or worse. I recall years ago meeting a guy and thinking he had a big nose, after a couple of years with him someone remarked that he had a big nose and I said "no he doesn't" then remembered that was my first impression of him. Similarly as you go off someone they can start to appear less attractive.
My preferences are bald - I love bald men, but then I have dated men with hair, I love men that are taller than me although I've dated men who were not, so I'm not exclusive and don't deny myself the chance of meeting someone really interesting and cool just because of how they look. My favourite part of a man is the back of his neck anyway and you don't get many postings with that part showing so I have to leave that to my imagination. I don't post pictures of myself on the internet and tend to meet some quite genuine people as a result although I do send a picture if asked. I find it refreshing when they don't ask for ages and I don't ask for one, it really doesn't bother me what anyone looks like. Oh and I think you can get to know a lot about someone from chatting on line - it is difficult to be interesting and amusing with no physical gestures and I believe that if you can achieve that just in type then you must be OK in person. However, this is not always the case as some people can communicate well from a distance, shielded by a screen and are useless communicators in real life. Few and far between in my experience, but there all the same.
Don't judge a book by it's cover is my motto - some of the most dog eared books are the most interesting. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 4:52:28 PM | So do we then think that men are more interested in good looks than women then?
I agree in that some of the less sttractive men have far more interesting things to say. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:02:50 PM | When I lived in London I used to help a friend out who ran a very respectable and expensive dating agency. We always used to interview male clients to build their profile together and we definately found that men were more bothered about appearances than women. Women would often accept a recommendation without ever asking to see a picture of the man, trusting that we had provided within any perameter set by her. Women were much less picky with these and often found it hard to really give much detail about what they were looking for.
It was a frequent occurance that we would have a short, bald, badly ageing man who would only want 6 feet tall, blonde 18 year olds and we tried to point out politely that it may be best to keep options open as not many of our clients were 18 year old blonde females and those that were did not have his statistics on their list of must haves.
Looks don't matter to me, and what I've said previously compared to what is said above may seem like a double standard, but this is not about looks, in this scenario it is about reality. I think women have far more realistic expectations of the type of man they are likely to attract and the qualities within a man that they feel will fit with their own and their lifestyle etc - a lot of men are deluded. (some women are too though!) I know for instance that at 41, with two kids and a few extra pounds and a wealth of life experience, I am unlikely to attract a 22 year old adonis. I'm not disappointed about that, I wouldn't want a 22 year old adonis, I couldn't imagine having much in common and couldn't see it as a stayer. However I may be wrong, so any 22 year old adonises (is that the correct plural? Should it be adonii?) of course with me not judging books by their cover, you are welcome to come my way! | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/7/2008 11:50:42 PM | I bet you do judge books by their covers. To market a book, a lot of thought goes into grabbing the attention of the browser. Then once you know the specific authors that you like... the cover won't matter so much.
As human beings ... and yes animals too. We notice the things that stand out. We would notice piece of music that makes us sit up and listen. It could be because of some difference, or some form of familiarity.
Be comforted to know though. That different peoples attention is caught by different things. So what looks nice to one person may not look nice to another. Be patient and use as many other attention grabbers that work. Personality is a biggie! | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:18:51 AM | the bottom line is that there are not enough beautiful people to round.
given the choice i think we would all choose someone beautiful with a good personality than someone ugly with a good personality ....
if you have two people with the same fabulous personality and one was a fat ugly trolley collector at asda and one was beautiful and had a good job then we all know which one we would choose.
if its about the "inner beauty" ... or if its the personality that counts the ask yourself if you meet anyone from here without seeing a photo first ? | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:53:03 AM | do we judge by looks though, or by attraction - because they're not strictly the same thing are they?
most of the men i have had relationships with, bar the odd one or two, don't really come under the umbrella of 'good looking'...at least not my version of good looking. but there was something about each and every one of them that i found incredibly attractive...i think for me, it was a certain look about the eyes, and maybe their overall demeanor.
subconciously we don't just take into account physical attributes, we also recognise things like whether they are outgoing, gregarious, happy, shy, quiet, sad....and in a couple of seconds all this information will come together to tell us whether we find them attractive or not...
does anyone ever read a book based solely on the cover? i think most of us will pick up a book, but before we open it up will turn it over and have a quick scan of the information on the back and then decide if we want to read further...
and even if we miss a good book because we can't be bothered to enquire a bit deeper, so what? as far as we're concerned it didn't interest us, so we're not missing anything. the only time that really changes is when someone else picks up that book and tells you how great it was! ;) | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/8/2008 11:39:19 AM | does anyone ever read a book based solely on the cover? i think most of us will pick up a book, but before we open it up will turn it over and have a quick scan of the information on the back and then decide if we want to read further...
Exactly... Its not about reading or buying.... Its about what lead you to pick that particular book to turn it over and read the blurb?
subconsciously we don't just take into account physical attributes, we also recognise things like whether they are outgoing, gregarious, happy, shy, quiet, sad....and in a couple of seconds all this information will come together to tell us whether we find them attractive or not...
Agree, when meeting someone for the first time, yes it could be a number of things, their smile for instance. I have mainly found it is easier to do this when meeting someone that hasn't come from the internet.
For some people this medium works, for others it doesn't. I have friends who have attracted very good looking wonderful people, who probably wouldn't stand much a chance on here.... not that they would want to | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:11:17 PM | Why do peoply use looks to initially decide to talk to someone.
Strangely enough, it's because "looks" matter to a lot of people and - despite what a lot of people seem to believe - it isn't shallow to be attracted (or to not be attracted) to someone because of their physical appearance (initially speaking).
After all I don't judge a book by its cover.
Erm, people are not books...
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/8/2008 2:52:25 PM | ok there seem to be two things to talk about.
firstly you are assuming that people are not responding to you because of what you look like based on your profile picture. That may well be true for some people but there could be a number of reasons, now these women who don't even send you a no thanks are very rude it doesn't mean they are rejecting you on the basis of what you look like.
secondly yes people are visual, i read something once that said basically what attracts us is animal instinct depending on what a person is looking for, people tend to chase good genes in a 'best genes for my children' style. it its very much a part of our decision to talk to someone. then everything else comes into it too.
stop worrying about what other people you don't know and will never meet think....that way madnes s lies
best | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/9/2008 10:07:00 AM | | cos it helps if you like the look of who you with...couldn't be with someone who i didn't like the look of and no its not shallow . Gezz you would be forever window shoppin lol | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:20:58 PM |
Similarly as you go off someone they can start to appear less attractive
this is sooo true!!!!!!!! some good looking people can turn out to the ugliest person you ever met!
Attraction is strange, not everyone is attracted to the same people. For me there has to be something else than just what they look like. Visually I always look for the eyes, and smile and on the forums I will look for banter and the personality that comes aacross. there is nothing worse than going on msn with a hot guy who you cant have a decent conversation with, it bores me to the core. | |
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| Why do people judge by looks ?
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:35:34 PM | personally i found i was having trouble fighting 'em all off so took a picture of an ugly bloke and said it was me!
only kidding that really is me! | |
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