| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 6/22/2005 6:32:55 PM | well its hard for us single mothers to find men..well at least myself to find men my age that will accept the fact that my attention wont be on them all the time...so whoever is out there that can accept someone with a child that is not yours good for you | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 6/22/2005 7:22:50 PM | | I find that some men are intimidated by the idea that I take care of myself...I have two wonderful children and 0 fathers in their lives, but I"m ok with that I'm content with my life......just wish some man would realize that I don't need him to take care of my children and me, but I would like a best friend and some compassion. I don't think that is too hard to understand, but trust me I've had men realize that my life isn't just pick up and go when I want and leaves.....they see that my children come first and that not meeting them right away is offending, but I say the man worth keeping is the one who will realize that I'm doing what is best for my family........I hate when women let man after man come into their children's life. It hurts them too when the guy leaves. Ok that's it......the whole point is that we single mothers are out here we are just busy raising our babies:) | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 6/22/2005 11:56:35 PM | | i fully agree with you...i am a single mom of three and i dont need another child or someone else to take care of...i want someone to take care of my needs.....someone to get me out of the house once in awhile......a break from my insanity...dont get me wrong i love my babies to death but any other person with three kids knows it's hard...and guys just cause we have more than one kid don't mean we are a hoochie.....i just want someone to understand that my kids come first and that i can't jump and see them when ever they want and that it takes time and patiences.....and for those guys who won't date girls with kids....if you stay single long enough you wont be able to find a woman with out a child now adays and than whatcha gonna do....you just missed out on a great opportunity........and no us single moms are not lookin for a dad for our kids...we are looking for a guy who appreciates us being grounded and can understand that having a relationship with a mom you get great added bonuses and can create and long lasting friendship in a childs life.....and girls out there lookin for a daddy for your child......STOP...you are wreckin it for us great moms...who are a great catch.....thanxs for letting me vent a little and yeah that boy is pretty cute........cya.....remember patience is a virtue...... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 11:02:59 AM | | An important question is : Why do you specifically want to date a single mom? I'm a divorced mom as well and it's great to know that a guy is open to dating someone with kids, but what's the rationale for ONLY wanting single moms Ethix? I gotta ask... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 11:46:36 AM | | Baggage? What baggage? Mine are all Louis Vuitton..oops, sorry that's LUGGAGE...the kids are NOT baggage, the issues that I have from the men who are no longer in my life, now that may be baggage, but I don't let it get in the way....right now I'm a single mother, and am looking for a guy, but I don't want that to be part of the criteria "must be a single mom" that would be kinda creepy, doncha think? | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 12:11:06 PM | | I completly agree with you....im a single mother of an eleven month old boy, and i love it. right now im not lookin for anyone, and so far if i do find a guy, as soon as they find out that i have such a young son they assume that im after them for help. i can take care of my own...i dont need anyone else to help me with my son. just accept me for me. im not asking you to become his father, or even be around him unless we get serious.....i think that many guys get scared off by the fact that we have children.... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 12:19:11 PM | | ^^^^^right you are; maybe it's that whole independence/self sufficience thing that scares them (she doesn't NEED me, so why would she WANT me?); my children have a father, that's not what I'm looking for; and you won't get to meet my kids till I'm sure you're gonna stick around; and another thing, I don't need a baby sitter, or your money.... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 12:31:38 PM | Well......hmmmmm had to read this thread.......and yeah, even though we love our kids, raise them on our own full time, take pride in doing so........it does kinda make ya feel handicapped when it comes to dating! im 33, single mom of a 4 and 7 yr old, one is the exorcist and one is rosemarys baby! ha ha .......just kidding. It is embarressing though, when they act up , 3 yrs ago a guy just literally got up and left, he was tired of waiting on them to go to bed, or settle down in their rooms, he couldnt wait! what a**** talk about making me feel weird!  | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 12:34:12 PM | Amen Trixie, and yes it does hurt and confuse them , doesnt it! Youre right......it is really busy. Babysitters are SOOOOOOOO EXPENSIVE TOO! whats up with taht! heck all they do is hang out in our house, what the kids are up for 2 hrs after we live, then they eat and watch movies? why do they charge so much, not like theyre working! ha ha. but yes, youre right, i think single moms should not involve thier kids with their social life, unless theyre sure about the guy, it does damage the kids/hurt em. Heck they think, um daddys left , now this guy?
they can turn it internally to wonder if something's wrong with them | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 12:59:16 PM | | screw him then; if he didn't have the patience to wait till they settled down, well, that would kinda throw up a red flag for me; guys with no patience tend to be abusive (In my experience, anyway) | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 1:03:13 PM | | I too am a single mom....its hard to sometimes find a guy that doesn't go running when you say you have children...it's nice to hear that some don't mind...but baggage is a bad word... | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:06:25 PM | It's not hard to find a single mother, we're everywhere. Single dads are more and more common nowadays as well.
The issue might be the fact you're only 20, immature (I don't mean that in a negative way, just meaning you're young), and most single mothers are very choosy about the men they have in their lives. We (generally, not all) tend to go for older, more established, mature and stable men. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/2/2006 9:43:24 PM | First BF post divorce did not have custody of his kids and went through hell, and he frequently discussed his jealousy that I had time (24/7 time) with my kids. Even if his kids would beg to see me, when he did get a visit, he'd leave mine and me wondering if he dropped off the face of the earth. Later, he admitted he would do it as a kind of punishment to get back at me for being so *lucky*. OK poor thing was a wee bit immature and insecure. We're still friends, of a sort.
Second BF admitted that he bit off more than he can chew, and had a hard time coping with the presence of growing males in the house who commanded my attention. Having been estranged from his daughter 20 years ago, he often called my daughter by his daughter's name. In a weird twist of fate, my middlest son has gone to live with him, his daughter (they consider each other to be siblings), and his grand daughter (who calls me gramma), and his daughter's bf has also moved in. With granddaughter spending so much time with him, he doesn't seem to care about all the other growing males in his house to compete with attention from his daughter. He's still a houseplant, as happy without sex and adult conversation as he was the last few years we were together.
Did my kids stop these two, or other men, from being attracted to me? Never that I noticed.
However, none of us realized the consequences of our choices until too late. Blended families are a true challenge.
Jeannie | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/3/2006 8:34:57 AM | | id like to know how u can say u would love a longterm relationship wiht a single mother when on ur profile it says u want an intimate encounter .... heres a pointer .. u will not find a single mother like that .... | |
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kymbie
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Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 44 | |
| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/3/2006 9:35:16 AM | well hunnie...just read your profile... I am a single mom and aggressive looking pics and the fact that your looking for an "intimate incounter" might be what is discouraging the mom's from picking you.
Parents dont have time to put into being just some jerks booty call or putting up with the head games that come along with guys like that. so if your really looking for a mom you might want to edit your profile a bit.
dont mean to sound rude but that might be why they arn't flocking towards you. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/3/2006 10:04:45 AM | Nope, not baggage....my children are the greatest and most wonderful "responsiblity" that I have ever had. I never feel like they are weighing me down and that is what baggage does.
Just my two cents. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/3/2006 10:20:04 AM | There are many single mothers out there, but as we are much more mature beings, we are now just as fed up with men of my age group ( late 30s/40s ) as they are the ones, who have so much baggage themselves, drama, play mind games and their BSing.
My son is not baggage and he is ready for me to settle down again and wants a man in his mother's life.
The only men who are of any type of quality nowadays are men in their early 30s, who do not have the the above, but they are not really suitable marriage material, as they just want the non commital side. A no win situation really for us
Men have to be worthy of us, respect and be considerate to our wants as well.
My girlfriend hit it on the head lately with her profound words
I want a man who does not need me because I do not need him, but who wants me.
We are fantastic creatures and should not accept anything less then the best and I am sure there are some very nice men out their, but finding them is the problem. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a single mother.....
Posted: 2/3/2006 10:22:44 AM | | its been my experience carol hun, when im in the mood for a one nighter i either go to super mkt. or or wait out side in the scools parking lot for the single moms....works every time hun. | |
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kymbie
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Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 50 | |
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