| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 8:53:29 PM | It sure ISN'T dead....I'm being courted right now....and lovin' it.
...wow, good for you Miss DC...of course we'll be wanting details
Levi501, don't ever stop what you are doing...there are lots of women who still appreciate it, as you can tell by this thread.
...We sure do...men like you are few and far between....and I mean that literally.
...maeflowers | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 9:07:53 PM | I don't think it's dead or even on life support but it has changed.
Take the online dating experience for example......Email, IM, Phone,
Text, Meet/Date, Relationship etc. Welcome to "Cyber Courting!"
(Sounds like the title for the next Terminator Movie) | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 9:10:07 PM | I fully agree, maeflower. The man that courts his woman will be a happy man..... | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 10:12:20 PM | | It is not dead, but true gentlemen have become fewer and further apart.... but the ones that remain are well worth the wait. | |
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v2501
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Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 80 | |
| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 10:33:24 PM | | No, no sane woman would meet a man (or man meet a woman) pick them up at their home. I feel courting is an important part of a relationship, as in getting to know someone. It's a reflection of who they are - how they treat you, morals, values, and respect for each other. It goes both ways too. As a few have said, you have to be selective. It's obvious when someone is looking for a casual and/or sexual relationship. I find most want to talk forever online - forget that. And/or they can't seem to not be busy next weekend, want to meet for coffee, but can't give you a date, "in case something else comes up." Hello... "Goodbye!" | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:32:29 AM | | hiya---i sure hope courting is not dead---i would love 2 b courted--u dont have 2 spend a lot of money 2 do such--a wee bunch of flowers--a wee message---a wee cuppa t---as i said i do hope courting is not dead--regardess of whether male os female--hope there is more than me out there thinks this??any way take care xxx | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:45:59 PM | Oh God, I hope so... This isn't the 50's anymore. Much like "playing hard to get", I put "courting" behavior in the category of nostalgic games that mainly get in the way when trying to develop a lasting relationship. Yuk!  | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:57:50 PM |
Eating homemade icecream?
Sure. It's ready! | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 1:26:11 PM | | Strange isn't it Ismene1? People are talking about courting being dead and we're sitting here on the swing eating ice cream we've just churned, talking about 'things'. Getting to know one another. Do you think people need a definition of courting? | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 1:50:17 PM | Been havin' my sox courted off for nigh on to a year now. Been returning the favor. May it *never* end!
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:46:44 PM | | I have often sked the same question lately. I also thought men my age might even be more inclined to go that route, but instead they are really the worst at trying to put their tounge down your throat on a first date, in the parking lot mind you. As if we were a couple of teenagers. I want to be courted and that is what! | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:11:25 PM |
Do you think people need a definition of courting?
Actually, yes! I always thought courting was just an old fashioned term for dating. I don't get the difference. I even looked the word up in the dictionery to figure out the difference. Nope, still don't get it. | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:38:28 PM | Do you think people need a definition of courting?
actually, yes! I always thought courting was just an old fashioned term for dating. I don't get the difference. I even looked the word up in the dictionery to figure out the difference. Nope, still don't get it.
I think it is different things for different people. For some people it is opening doors and flowers and chocolates. Those are kind of stereotypical things. To me it simply means taking some time to get to know each other, being thoughtful, considerate--if a women likes flowers then it means flowers, that kind of thing, and making a point of doing nice things for each other as you get to know one another and develop a relationship...What it doesn't mean, to me anyway, is squabbling over who is going to pay for coffee or a drink or dinner, being pressured in anyway about sex, or being taken for granted before you barely know someone. | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:41:57 PM |
Strange isn't it Ismene1? People are talking about courting being dead and we're sitting here on the swing eating ice cream we've just churned, talking about 'things'. Getting to know one another. Do you think people need a definition of courting?  | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:50:00 PM | still:
bring flower(s)
open doors
remove my hat when greeting (a woman of any age)
compliment on her attire
hold hands
learn her preferences
call if I've been delayed
ask her to dance, in a gentlemanly manner (whew! almost forgot the comma)
escort her off the dance floor arm in arm
bring her trinkets
surprise her with a bouquet (sp?)
pull out the chair for her
walk her to the door
tell her I missed her.
This all looks like pretty good stuff, Levi. The teasing till she busts a gut thing: that always annoys the hell out of me when a guy tries that. The rest is good though.  | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:52:50 PM |
^^^^^ So are public executions...any coincidence?
Public executions are alive in Texas? Where do people get this stuff???? | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:18:53 PM |
The hard part is many women have been tainted into believing that only "players" exhibit these behaviors anymore. Don't Believe It!!!!
Love your list Levi. Yes, I've been courted in the past. My late husband did all the things on your list..
Unfortunately, I am one of those women who has been duped and probably, as a result, tainted.
But I'll tell you, if a man were to do everything on your list with a sincere heart and good intentions, he wouldn't be single long. | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:42:54 PM |
I still:
bring flower(s)
open doors
remove my hat when greeting (a woman of any age)
compliment on her attire
hold hands
learn her preferences
call if I've been delayed
ask her to dance, in a gentlemanly manner (whew! almost forgot the comma)
escort her off the dance floor arm in arm
bring her trinkets
surprise her with a bouquet (sp?)
pull out the chair for her
walk her to the door
tell her I missed her
and tease and play till she relaxes enough to bust a gut laughing!
Levi501s Your list is really good, but I think it's a combination of things.
open doors
remove my hat when greeting (a woman of any age)
pull out the chair for her
Smile and speak to her too, respectfully of course. A hat tip don't hurt.
Someone mentioned walking on the street side of a lady. Protecting them. That's another that belongs on this list. And I'm sure we could find more :-)
For me, things like these belong to a list I'd call chivalry (another dead thing :-). They're things you do even when you're not courting. I'm very appreciative when I have my arms full and a woman opens a door for me, and at the same time embarrassed that I didn't open the door for her.
The rest of those you mention are, of course, courting. You might want to dance with her in a gentlemanly manner too. Other ways get you slapped :-) | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/6/2008 8:02:51 PM |
I think it is different things for different people. For some people it is opening doors and flowers and chocolates. Those are kind of stereotypical things. To me it simply means taking some time to get to know each other, being thoughtful, considerate--if a women likes flowers then it means flowers, that kind of thing, and making a point of doing nice things for each other as you get to know one another and develop a relationship...What it doesn't mean, to me anyway, is squabbling over who is going to pay for coffee or a drink or dinner, being pressured in anyway about sex, or being taken for granted before you barely know someone.
Maybe I'm just having a blonde moment but, isn't all that just courtesy and good manners? Or have I not been dating so long that people aren't even nice to each other any more. One poster make a joke on another thread about dragging women off into a cave. While I am assuming he was joking (!) and I'm not taking it literally, is that type of "cut to the chase" what everyone is referring to? Not wanting to take the time and effort to entice someone to want to walk into the cave willingly? If so, then that I understand and, to the original question I would answer, "I damned well hope not!" But is there a difference between "dating" and "courting" ~ I always thought they were one in the same. | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:03:38 AM |
But is there a difference between "dating" and "courting" ~ I always thought they were one in the same.
I think for some people, perhaps there is no difference between dating and courting. But for a lot of people dating is not synonymous with courting. I guess I see courting as taking your time and enjoying the process of getting to know someone, of courtly behavior (like opening doors and graciousness), like taking the time to woo someone before expecting sex, not, in fact, expecting sex at all, and definitely not taking someone for granted, but making an effort to do special things for each other and please each other. One poster, I think it was Navigator, mentioned how courting should last for the whole relationship, and I agree, and that it should go both ways. If this type of thing is happening in your dating experience, then it is great for you. It doesn't sound like it is happening for many others. I am not basing any of this on my own experiences, which are very limited, but just wondering what others have to say. | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/7/2008 6:00:36 AM | | I think courting is dead. In the age of internet dating, you see a picture, read a profile, and then determine if you would like to date. You go out on a date. Where would courting fit into this process? | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/7/2008 6:44:17 AM | I don't think courting is dead in the sense of the word i think it has changed in how we court now days...many courtships are via the net and telephone....similar to the middle ages and as our forefathers and mothers knew before the advent of the telephone and cars...they use to write letters and meet very rarely...and many expressed their love in words and lived long fruitfull lives in happiness...
in many ways the internet has brought back the old ways of courting... | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:17:10 PM |
I think it is different things for different people. For some people it is opening doors and flowers and chocolates. Those are kind of stereotypical things. To me it simply means taking some time to get to know each other, being thoughtful, considerate--if a women likes flowers then it means flowers, that kind of thing, and making a point of doing nice things for each other as you get to know one another and develop a relationship...What it doesn't mean, to me anyway, is squabbling over who is going to pay for coffee or a drink or dinner, being pressured in anyway about sex, or being taken for granted before you barely know someone.
I would agree with this opinion.
This all looks like pretty good stuff, Levi. The teasing till she busts a gut thing: that always annoys the hell out of me when a guy tries that. The rest is good though.
Maybe they just aren't funny! For me, I gotta know a woman has a good sense of humor for me to have interest in her as a SO. Remember that line in the movie "Michael", when Trovolta says, "Ya gotta learn to laugh. It's the way to true love."?
Levi501s Your list is really good, but I think it's a combination of things.
Maybe I'm just having a blonde moment but, isn't all that just courtesy and good manners?
I think for some people, perhaps there is no difference between dating and courting. But for a lot of people dating is not synonymous with courting.
In reference to the above three quotes:
I agree it's a combination of things and my list was a few random thoughts that came to me. By no means completely encompassing, nor a sequential order.
I also agree that courtesy and manners are the way one should attempt to conduct themselves at all times.
Dating, to me, is the process of finding someone I want to "court." I will conduct myself with courtesy and manners (C&M) during the dating process. I may bring a flower, I may give her a hug at the end of the meeting/evening, but I have no expectations during this process other than learning more about her to determine if we might be a match for a LTR.
When/if we find we have 'mutual' interest in exploring a LTR, then the courting begins. Bouquets, hand holding, trinkets, come into play at this point, but NOT at the exclusion of what came before (C&M). I start looking forward to soft kisses at the end of the evening.
Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:22:48 PM | Ummm Levi? Would you mind expanding on your definiation of trinkets please?
Seriously though, sounds like you have a pretty good handle on "courting"! | |
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| Is courting dead?
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:29:42 PM |
Dating, to me, is the process of finding someone I want to "court." I will conduct myself with courtesy and manners (C&M) during the dating process. I may bring a flower, I may give her a hug at the end of the meeting/evening, but I have no expectations during this process other than learning more about her to determine if we might be a match for a LTR.
Perfect! Thank you! | |
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