| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 7:41:39 AM | I say always go with your gut instinct. I only wish I could take my own advice! lol Unfortunately, I do have a big heart and like to help people in trouble, but I have learned to pay attention to my 'gut instinct' and those voices in my head (not the ones that tell me to kill people or anything like that) 
Seriously, there are a lot of people on this site looking for someone to take them in like a stray animal... and they all seem to gravitate towards me... oh lucky me. But, like I said, I have learned to listen to my instincts and run the other direction before getting involved  | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 10:10:55 AM | Sometimes gut instincts have nothing to do with obvious red flags. Sometimes their our intuition saying something isn't right.
The problem is after dealing with past betrayals and hurts we often don't always know if our gut instinct is right or if it's on hyperalert do to the past.
How many people who've been hurt get so bitter and angry and take every little instance as a sign of a red flag? That stupid 3 day rule (who the heck made that up?) saying if he/she doesn't call in 3 days it's a red flag.
I guess it's a matter of being balanced, not overreacting but still listening to the instincts and proceed with caution! | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 12:38:34 PM | I don't like going too fast. I prefer seeing someone one or two times a week to begin with. It takes time to get to know someone, even if there's that "chemistry" at first sight! I've learned to listen to my instincts when it comes to relationships. I've found it takes awhile to find the 'red-flags' - anybody can be "good" for 6 months, and I have 2 divorces to prove it!
I don't give out my phone number or personal email address quickly. It's too much of a bother to have to change them if I want to "take it back"!
If everything the person emails me is filled with "lol" or "rofl" he's too immature for me. (An occasional "LOL" is OK)
Don't check for my tonsils on a first date or first kiss! Obviously, didn't read my profile! | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 12:56:52 PM | | My gut instinct kicks when... I call a guy and he doesnt answer the phone, I leave a message and he texts me a response back! If he doesnt answer the phone (after work hours, of course) more than he answers it, it sends me a red flag! It usually means there is another in the picture. I meet someone on here, that would pull his "Houdini" act on certain nights of the week. The next day it was always some excuse such as, "my cell phone charger wasnt with me", "the building I was in doesnt get reception", he even used "I collapsed and was in the hospital last night"! Needless, to say nothing transpired from that "connection". | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 1:44:39 PM | I've gotten really good at weeding out the 'red flags' within the first contact e-mail....
The photo ones are obvious....specially when someone says they are 45 yrs old and its VERY obvious they are older than me!
Also...the 'U shoor R purty, lil lady...wanna chat?' ones....DELETE!
Now, if a guy mentions something that he read in my profile, to open a discussion....then he might be a 'possibility'...if he captions his photos with humorous comments and/or 'dates' them....maybe. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 8:14:27 PM | Clueless twit. Or you go out with someone and they drop off the planet, and don't give you closure. A no thanks or no chemistry might be nice. So yes lots of red flags. As I say ya gotta go through a lot of bottom feeders to find that prince charming.
>>>AMEN...had this to recently happen to me. The guy just DISAPPEARED...no closure...no "you're nice but..." Just an excuse and I got the ol' "I'll call you." I ALWAYS give closusre and would expect others to do so...just a pet peeve of mine. Besides....WHY is it that some guys think ALL women want a relationship....puhleez.
Andrea | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 8:18:07 PM | I, like Latinbird stated, have gut feelings about those who rely upon text to do all of their talking. I like hearing voices, thank you. What's up with all of the texting???
Andrea | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 8:28:52 PM | Things that I'm not too keen on the first time I meet someone :
1. Not laughing at my sense of humour = an absolute deal breaker.
2. A deep and/or gravely voice that makes me pay too much attention to her neck looking for an adam's apple
3. Too much foul language. The odd frick is ok, but frick this and frick that is not sexy.
4. Talking about her ex when I didn't ask
5. Doesn't make eye contact
6. Preoccupied/disinterested
7. An inability to shut the frick up for even one second
8. Acts like a mute and just stares at me with a bored look on her face
9. Shows up looking like she put little to no effort in her personal appearance
10. Answers her cell phone | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 8:48:44 PM |
Things that I'm not too keen on the first time I meet someone :
1. Not laughing at my sense of humour = an absolute deal breaker.
2. A deep and/or gravely voice that makes me pay too much attention to her neck looking for an adam's apple
3. Too much foul language. The odd frick is ok, but frick this and frick that is not sexy.
4. Talking about her ex when I didn't ask
5. Doesn't make eye contact
6. Preoccupied/disinterested
7. An inability to shut the frick up for even one second
8. Acts like a mute and just stares at me with a bored look on her face
9. Shows up looking like she put little to no effort in her personal appearance
10. Answers her cell phone
Comeon now, I brushed my hair! And I only said frick 10... 19 times! (?)  | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 9:15:54 PM | Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
So now I just bring up a bunch of obscure movie quotes and if she doesn't get them I kick her to the curb. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 9:20:10 PM | Statestreet 1980
I think gut instincts can be wonderful .........but.....not always 100% accurate.
Sometimes those alarms go off for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with the other person.
No, you are absolutely correct. Gut instincts are there for a reason. They give us fair warning about something that could harm us. However, they are cultivated by our experiences of life, what has hurt us and is hurting us. A bad experience though, can be the trigger of a gut instinct and it may have nothing whatsoever to do with the person you are getting the bad vibes from. They may be just wearing something or use the same speech patterns of the actual person who gave the bad experience in the first place. BUT....if you keep getting those gut instincts over and over again then you really have to listen. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 9:30:00 PM | How about,
Only contact is by message on his cell phone.
Never available on weekends or week nights.
Panics when you reach for his cell phone.
Never invites you to his place.
Anything that ever happened to him was ALWAYS someone elses fault.
Admits that he has "changed" his name.
Lots of clues that lead me to believe that there is someone else in his life like a wife or girlfriend.
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 9:30:29 PM | "Things that throw up red flags" by Tryde
1. Cooks gross food
2. Doesn't brush teeth
3. Stinky
4. Bills (past due)
5. No money
6. No car
7. Bad kids | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 9:36:48 PM | Just about all the postings I have read are clear enough for a blind man to see!
What does any of this have to do with gut feelings? | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 10:24:41 PM | lol, the rock man made a good point! Gut instinct is something you feel isn't right, even when you don't have any clear evidence....
For example: I was dating this guy for about a month, there were yellow flags but nothing dangerous... or too alarming. In general I did enjoy getting to know him. The more I dated him I just felt like "something isn't right! and that although there wasn't clear evidence but feeling he wasn't being honest" I knew. Well maybe that is because when I got the instinct and did a google search on his name, I found he lied about his age by a year. Now that's not a big lie, but I am sure there was more and wasn't sticking around. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/3/2008 10:38:40 PM | When you shove your religion in my face and blame your possessiveness and jealousy on being so religious, you're gone. Yes, it has happened. And no, for fear of being flamed in here I won't share the religion.
When you turn into insta-@$$hole if we run into a male friend/acquaintance of mine(once again, being possessive and jealous), you're gone.
When you pull up on the street and honk, or the driveway, you're gone.
Potential-weirdo signs are hard to find, therefore just get rid of what you don't feel right with. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 9/4/2008 2:24:43 PM |
Msg: 42 -- I gotta disagree with this point. "Gut instincts" are not always negative. "Gut warnings" are nothing more than the opposite of that funny feeling you get in your gut when something or someone "just feels right" (which would be a positive gut intsinct.)
I have had only ONE "positive" gut instinct about a relationship in my entire life. That was the BEST relationship I ever had, bar none. So, yeah, I agree, they are not ALWAYS negative, although in my case they have MOSTLY been negative.
My favorite red flag
-The girl who, on our 1st date, decided to tell me in detail how she slashed her ex's tires and set him up for an open intox...
How about a red flag that threatens bodily injury? An ex-gf was raped. She found the perpetrator about a week later and cut off his ballz with a rusty fish knife. Now, I have no intention of raping anyone, but realizing that she had the capacity for that sort of action caused me to end the relationship very quickly. I want nothing to do with a woman who can even THINK of doing such a thing, justified or not. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 10/27/2008 4:05:52 PM | | It all started with him asking me a lot of questions that were really none of his business. This was during our first few dates. I told some others that I was a bit uncomfortable with him asking so much but, being me, I decided to give him a chance since he did seem nice and kinda cute. He was also kind of depressed and cheap. He would complain at different times about the money he spent. We lasted a few months but I've learned that I should listen to my gut instincts and not feel like I've made the wrong decision later on. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 10/27/2008 4:35:10 PM | | Well, the only thing bad about listening to my gut, is that it always seems to be bad news. My gut never tells me anything good. If I weight things out, and think about them, I can come up wth a "good" feeling. My gut is always bad. So, I don't always listen. Heck, maybe I wouldn't even have my beautiful daughter if I had listened to my gut. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 10/27/2008 4:42:50 PM | | In my experience, those feelings need to be taken seriously. You are getting "GUT" feelings for a reason and those "GUT" feelings usually are signaling that something is wrong with how the other person is presenting themselves. Sometimes it's not what your date is revealing, but what they aren't. When getting "GUT" feelings, we generally don't tend to listen to them, because we view ourselves as being overly cautious.....but they are usually the signal to get the hell out and away! | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:06:04 PM |
Msg: 5 -- The thing that makes me most wary of someone, is when I mention my pet bunnies and they then make a comment about rabbit pie/stew....
Uhh, STEW? Woof! In THAT situation I can think of myself as being ONE **OF** the rabbits, ENJOYING **ALL** of that SEX!!!!
In many ways, animals have it SO MUCH better than us so-called "humans".
Msg: 7 -- 6/ She brags about how many men she has slept with !
Need I go on ?
I think not. That sufficiently describes an undesirable woman.
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:28:32 PM |
Msg: 10 --1. The ususal pushing for physical intimacy too soon.
Hmm, "too soon". I disagree with the concept of "too soon", but I WILL agree with your implied premise of INCOMPATIBILITY. If the expressed desire of intimacy from one party is not ENTHUSIASTICALLY embraced by the OTHER, then they ARE incompatible and SHOULD seek other mates.
There is NO SUCH thing as "pushing for physical intimacy too soon". There is only compatiblity and incompatibility.
There is ONLY **ONE** solution for incompatibility; DUMP, RELOAD, meaning drop the incompatible one and search for someone more to your liking.
If both of you are compatible, there is NO "too soon". | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 10/28/2008 5:23:52 PM | I often get gut instincts about people that post on here. Some are happy alone. Some aren't happy alone or with anyone. Some don't want others to be happy. Some are happy making others unhappy. Some I wonder why they post. Some I am thankful that they post and know why they are in a happy relationship.
Right now my gut is telling me that my current relationship seems to be going well. But if it goes down hill, I am not sure how my gut will feel. | |
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| Gut Instincts in Dating
Posted: 10/28/2008 5:25:20 PM |
Msg: 43 -- Everyone has offered reasons to back away, escape, run, shout NEXT
Yes, and I may have been one of the most prolific of the posters you have mentioned. But, my point of stress has ALWAYS been compatibility. Signs of incompatibility have ALWAYS been warnings to hit the "NEXT" button for me. I am not ashamed of that. I post no lies.
I WANT a submissive slave girl who is in tune with my desires, and I state so in my profile. I have NOTHING to hide, so if a woman who is interested in me is repulsed by this, then let her be repulsed. She doesn't want me and I most assuredly have NO desire for her. She hasn't the capacity OR desire to satisfy me.
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Trappedonbayst 
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