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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:37:51 AM | | happyrebel..I do agree with you, sex without the connection is very empty. I myself have not been with another since my x and we've been seperated for over 2 and a half years. 2 open minded people trying just about anything, yes I know "been there,done that", the point is "open and honest" if the person your interested in has been around would you rather know now or learn about it later, and when you do learn about it can you be accepting and respecting!? This person may or may not be proud of what they have done in the past, either way building a strong relationship takes alot of hard work based on mutual respect and understanding, we need to ask ourselves if we have enough self confidence to enter into a relationship knowing we are not the only one this person has known. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/4/2009 10:46:57 AM | m_church and happyrebel,
i did say that some women will front and men will too. it's not just my neck of the woods. you really think any1 is just gonna blurt out that they've slept around in their life? probably not. takes a little digging to get sum1 comfortable enuf to share such private info. not necessarily that number but just that they've been around. if sum1 volunteers the number, then that's on them. it happens. and i guess i'm the type of guy peeple r comfy around and men/women volunteer info that's none of my biz. that's why i say 100-200 isn't uncommon if sum1 is going to be honest with you.
you can say that you don't know any1 who's anywhere near that number but do u really? if either of you have dated, you know it takes a while to get to know the real person and for them to open up completely and honestly. people aren't necessarily lying. rather, they're just withholding info for later which is fine. and peeple don't wanna b labeled. and so many peeple are fake. i could go on and on. what i'm saying is it's your neck of the woods too, not just mine.
and yes, a man can b just as much of a whore as a woman. the diff is if you're open about it. if you're gonna sleep around and admit it, i respect that. but if you're gonna front and say "i'm not like that" but you're out there bangin it out, then that's bs. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/4/2009 11:32:09 AM | Personally here's how I feel about comparing notes on sexual history.
If I'm ready to settle into something, then my "resume" shouldn't even come into things. You just need to know that I have no diseases. Maybe a while into it I'll tell you about my history, maybe never. Definitely not right off the bat if I'm looking at something long-term.
Someone giving me all those details right away might not even be looking for anything with me at all. She's either looking for another notch on her belt, or that I'm just a friendly ear to listen to her history. I'd feel that someone that was telling me they had that many lovers so straight-up in the beginning definitely wasn't looking for anything serious.
A while into things, and I'd feel like she was just trying to be cruel. Like maybe she was doing it intentionally to hurt, harm or manipulate me. Probably trying to manipulate by tossing it up in my face. Did you really need to know this stuff now? Doesn't she know you enough by now to know how you'd take it? Honesty without compassion is cruelty.
Then again, what looks like a whore to me, might look like a housewife to someone else. "Oh, just 100 guys, that's nothing!!" Not for me, no thanks.
Mike | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/4/2009 12:19:38 PM | Not a man but .... one man can sleep with a girl and consider he easy... does not mean she is... she could have been thinking something more long term while he was thinking SEX... its hard for anyone male or female to not have a past and if you are older the more chances are you have slept with more than one person so it is not really fair to judge someone based on those ideas alone... there is o such thing as an experienced virgin the sonner everyone accepts that the better off we will all be...
I see it like this you either have to accept her past or break it offf because she cant change what she did and does not deserve to be on trial for having had a life... if you think this is the woman you want to be with then you have to to accept the fact that she was with more than just you and what counts when it gets right down to it is that do you love her and does she make you happy? no one is perfect but when you truly love somone you have to accept the good with the bad... only you can make that choice.... | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:03:32 PM |
Wrong... that's a losing bet. Do the math, it takes two to tango
So... Ummm ever heard of Gangbangs? Threesomes... More-somes... Virgins...
The math bit is so wrong....
Do you think everyone has had the exact same number of sex partners...? Because that's the only way "Doing the math" would work...
Personally, it's been my experience that for the most part, the women I know have had a lot more partners than most of the men I know... | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/4/2009 6:04:44 PM | It's not the number that would bother me. It would be the fact that my friends or dudes I knew just "f-ed" her and didn't care about her. I'd have a tough time with knowing the people involved. Although the past is the past, I tend to put my lady in a class by herself and knowing that one of my buds "plowed, banged, shagged,bagged, f-ed" etc. would bug me. I know it's immature, but I can deal with the unknown, the known bothers me.
And before the ladies jump on me, think about how many guys you've shared with your friends? I can't think of one of my female friends who would date a guy who screwed any of their friends.
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/4/2009 11:54:44 PM | | for w9y; first don't take this message the wrong way, I do agree with you. but here is a scenerio. what if you knew this lady as someone you respected and wanted to be with and had background knowledge so you understood that she was going through a tough time, she just needed to "cut loose". Yea maybe she was with some of your buddies but because you know her and understand why she was acting this way would you be able to swallow your own pride and stand up for her, and of course be with her?....just a question based on past experience. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:55:46 AM |
I tend to put my lady in a class by herself and knowing that one of my buds "plowed, banged, shagged,bagged, f-ed" etc. would bug me. I know it's immature, but I can deal with the unknown, the known bothers me
Yeah, I've been there.... got the T-shirt.... It does suck in those situations...
Before I met her, my G/F had slept with several people I know... the worst part is knowing she also had MFM threesomes and MFF threesomes with a few of them... It's been very hard on her too, because she really regrets what she did... But as they say, you can't undo the past, as much as she wishes she could.... Dealing with undefined names/numbers is one thing... seeing those same people that "plowed, banged, shagged,bagged, f-ed" her is a far different thing.... I'd bet that most guys couldn't handle it.... | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:05:48 AM |
This person may or may not be proud of what they have done in the past, either way building a strong relationship takes alot of hard work based on mutual respect and understanding, we need to ask ourselves if we have enough self confidence to enter into a relationship knowing we are not the only one this person has known.
3Levint.....Insecurity has nothing to do with it. It is the person's outlook on life and intimacy in particular. If they've had tons of partners (I haven't) and they're ok with casual sex (I'm not), why would I date someone who has a totally different outlook on intimacy? That's my point. Why would I (or anyone) have to choose to accept it? As I said in another thread, there are two mindsets (ok maybe 3) on this, and like minded should date like minded people. It makes it easier in the long run.
HR  | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:45:22 PM | | From reading like the first 30 messages, I don't believe anyone is seeing the big picture. This girl may be the most beautiful girl you know, but deep down inside it sounds like she was/is incecure and begging for attention. Maybe a father who neglected her, an abusive relationship, the list goes on. Sometimes people crave attention even when it's not positive. Or the latter is that she loves sex and there's nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality. Double standards suck. I don't know if I personally would divulge my past experiences (at least not ALL) of them with someone I loved. There are some secrets women should take to their graves. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/6/2009 5:37:38 PM | for w9y; first don't take this message the wrong way, I do agree with you. but here is a scenario. what if you knew this lady as someone you respected and wanted to be with and had background knowledge so you understood that she was going through a tough time, she just needed to "cut loose". Yea maybe she was with some of your buddies but because you know her and understand why she was acting this way would you be able to swallow your own pride and stand up for her, and of course be with her?....just a question based on past experience.
Nope. Couldn't and wouldn't. A person like this likely has issues which I already know I cannot deal with. I agree with brattangel to a degree. So why hurt myself or disrespect her by secretly loathing her for her past choices. I was in this situation. I thought I loved the woman but obviously didn't because I simply could not banish the image of more than one of my friends with their ***** anywhere near her.(FYI, not the reason we broke up, but i have to admit a wedding with some of the participants would've been brutal) Sorry, if that makes me prude or judgmental, so be it. I don't understand self destructive behavior, so I wouldn't get it. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/6/2009 7:09:32 PM |
Yea maybe she was with some of your buddies but because you know her and understand why she was acting this way would you be able to swallow your own pride and stand up for her, and of course be with her
You know, it's not as easy to do as you might think.... I've been in that situation.... it's a lot worse when you frequently run into the guys... Especially because a few of them did her in threeseomes... so she's kind of a joke to them... We don't see her the same way.... Guys have no respect for a woman after that... and have no problem telling everyone.... So it can be a big pain in the ass....
You end up putting up with a lot of crap....some of the guys are ok. they're mature enough to be low-key about it. But even that seems condescending at times.... | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/7/2009 1:56:46 PM | This is soooo much bs people don't even get it just like the above post.
This guy above is making it it okay if a guy can do it and go get himself off and have threesomes at the same time for him as a man/boy. Maybe because they never get any and just go to the ho to get it in the mean time.
And why are you so concerned what "the guys" care??? Oh, never mind, you care what the guys think so they don't let women, (girls you might like to f**k in your case) know that you try to play like a decent guy just to get a PIECE OF ASS. (1)
And condescending is referring to you with how you try to disrespect females and let everyone know about it making the female feel bad for having a THREESOME (and always being the protective one. ) just like you wanted to do if you even did it. You are just jealous because u can't get any, or as much as u want. Has nothing to do with who. Just go have fun and enjoy someone carefully without getting into a "relationship". Now she is a wh***e and all your "guys" will spread stuff around just to keep females from getting the hell away from u. because men are sooooooo jealous that they can't just go out and pick and choose like us women do and so try to turn it on us by making us feel like ho's and that is a form of control.
No time taken even trying to think how a woman feels. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 2/7/2009 2:50:46 PM | | Let's face it, there are a lot of guys out there who can't handle this. A legitimate reason is that they view sex as something "sacred" and only have a small amount of partners and want someone like them. I can understand this. It's the other ones that are the problem. They can't handle the fact that "their woman" has been with several people because their posession should never have dared to do what they wanted. At the heart of this secone mentality is the desire to control women. Those are the types I have no patience for. | |
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