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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:56:31 AM | Easy? I would simply say that she is enjoying an active sexual lifestyle. Why would you care? She is obviously comfortable with her sexuality as well as her body. A libido is like weight....everyone's is a little different.
Some men while "indulging" a woman enjoy hearing about her previous sexual encounters, some women enjoy telling while in bed. Some men as well as women are turned off by it and still others couldn't care less.
Sounds like this woman could be a lot of fun. If she told you this she is apparently able to communicate on a sexual level which for some is a difficult thing to do. If however it's bothersome to you then jump ship.
I know that it wouldn't be a problem from my perspective...Each of us again are different. Do what is correct for you. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:11:20 PM | | I think the question shouldn't be about how many sex partners she's had, but rather was she practicing safe sex? If you are worried about a health issue, I can undertsand, but from what you posted it seems more like an ego problem. Women like sex as much as men do (well some anyhow) and if they are unihibited they will get what they want. I'm surprised she actually shared this information with you and even gave details. I find that much openness uneccesary if she was using protection and not exposing herself to diseases. Get over it! obviously you knew she wasn't a virgin. Why should you care what someone else thinks about it? You could have picked a woman who has only had 3 sex partners in her life but you see them all the time. Would that be any better for you? I think not. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:20:35 PM |
I find that much openness uneccesary if she was using protection and not exposing herself to diseases. Get over it!
Ok, aside from the fact that 'protection' is not really protection... condoms don't prevent all STD's and some don't show up in testing...
Essentially you're implying that it's not a moral issue if she sleeps with large numbers of guys who wore condoms, but it's a problem if she went bareback??????
Oh, and finally, how would one know whether or not she was using 'protection' or not or if there was a concern or need to know, without having the information up front????
Do you honestly think that people would think "I don't have to tell him anything, I only slept with 30 guys and we used condoms" as opposed to "Oh, I better tell him I slept with 30 guys and we didn't use condoms?"
Guys can't walk up to a woman and KNOW that she used 'protection'... or how many she slept with.... likewise, a woman can't KNOW how many women their guy was with and 'protected' or not...
As they say, ignorance is bliss....people are happier in their on secluded worlds, lying to themselves and pretending everything is ok.
For the record: I really hate it when people use safe little words for things instead of being honest...
ie...
1..."protection" - Hmmm It's not PROTECTION it's just better protected... it's not even close to 100%. No wonder so many people get STD's every year.
2..."safe sex" - It's SAFER SEX it is not SAFE SEX. Again, no wonder so many people get STD's every year.
3..."slept with" - No, it's f&&king, not sleeping. You can sleep in the same bed with someone (even family members) but it's not the same thing as f&&king. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:38:35 PM | I was just saying I was wondering why she told him sooo many details aobut her sexual past. From the post, she told him more than just how many partners and there was no mention of protection or diseases. I understand that protection is not 100%, but that wasn't what he was worried about. He was more worried about running into someone who knew her from her past and what they were thinking about him being with her.
And yes, men who have slept around alot are in the same boat. Knowing that a man has had many partners yet has used protection would make me feel alot better than someone that has not. I would still want to know what his current health status is as well. But knowing all the details about someones sexual past, details not history, are not necessary.
Stating she has had many partners is one thing, explaining how, when, where, and why is something different. Thats the part I meant was unneccessary. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:43:01 PM |
He was more worried about running into someone who knew her from her past and what they were thinking about him being with her.
A lot of us guys have been in that situation.... We don't like to run into people who have had sex with the woman we are in love with. It kind of takes away a little of the 'love' feel for us...
It's like this. Jim is a guy who has a really great motorcycle. Jim has put a lot into that bike. Jim has ridden that bike everywhere. Everyone knows Jim and his motorcycle. He's made that bike the way it is. Eventually, Jim gets tired of it. So one day, he sells it... to Dave...
Dave keeps the bike for only a few months then sells it...
When he was asked why he sold such a great motorcycle Dave later replied, "It didn't feel like my bike. Everywhere I went, people would come up and say. 'Hey, isn't that Jims bike?'". | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 3:38:51 PM |
A lot of us guys have been in that situation.... We don't like to run into people who have had sex with the woman we are in love with. It kind of takes away a little of the 'love' feel for us...
I decided to just get over it instead. You are determined to wallow in self pity and insecurity regardless of what anyone has to say. Don't let me stop you. Enjoy it. Just try not to go postal. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:33:33 PM | | If I found out a woman had that many f-buddies, I wouldn't even consider dating her. It's not a matter of the person being "easy." It's more a matter of them being way to casual about jumping in bed with someone. Kind of makes you think they don't consider sex to be anything special. To them it might be more like blowing their nose. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:52:06 PM | If all the op is worried about is running into people who may have been with her then he sould also ask what other qualities would embarrass him. If you are too embarrassed to be in public with your partner maybe you should be asking yourself if you want to be in any relationships period. That or after you marry you can move to a big city lol.
As for how many, i said it before and i will say it again, the past is the past so long as you are both healthy then who cares! | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:45:01 PM | I say let he who is without guilt cast the first stone
Since in my youth I lived in a glass house.... I don't throw rocks.
On the other hand she sowed her wild oats.... isn't that what they say about guys
Unless you feel intimidated it should not be a problem
I think you should be open enough to let her share her experience with you without being judgmental. It is not who she has been with its who she chooses to spend her life with that is important. You should feel flattered that with all her browsing in the past your her choice.
If you can't get over it don't try to pretend or waste her time on investing years in loving you if it is going to eat you alive in the long run. If you didn't have a problem you would not be posting the question....
She has been honest with you.... she deserves the same in return.... if you can't love her as much as she loves you.... let her go... If you can she will likely make a loyal life partner that has no reason to stray in the future. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:11:57 AM |
Unless you feel intimidated it should not be a problem
So what do you do if the position is reversed. Suppose it's not you that's intimidated, but your partner who is intimidated by what you have done?
Intimidation is a natural reaction, it's fear. It can be very real to some people.
My partner would freak if he knew the truth about my past. The little he does know is enough to disturb him. I'm always afraid he will find out about what I've done before him. I'm very afraid I will lose him if he does. All my past experiences are not worth losing a great guy over. No amount of forgetting will ever take those things away. I cannot change my past, but I sure as hell wish I hadn't had my past either. If I had known back then how badly I'd come to feel over what I was doing, I would never have done those things. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:30:13 AM | | The number of partners is irrelevant. I frankly prefer that a woman has had more, rather than less partners. Because, if we end up getting serious, she will be more certain I am Mr. Right. When someone cheats, and in breakups generally, it is almost always out of a sense of not having experienced enough, or out of curiosity or sowing wild oats. I guess it's implied that a woman with experience knows what she wants. That to me is much preferable than being with someone who just doesn't know. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:37:36 AM |
When someone cheats, and in breakups generally, it is almost always out of a sense of not having experienced enough
In my experience the people who cheat are usually the ones with the most experiences sexually. They don't consider sex to be as a big a deal ("Oh it was just sex!" -Ever heard that line before?) or consider sex and love to be unrelated.
People who take sex seriously realise it's importance to a relationship.
If your sex life was casual from day one, why would anyone assume it will change just because they're in a relationship? | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:40:44 AM |
I frankly prefer that a woman has had more, rather than less partners. Because, if we end up getting serious, she will be more certain I am Mr. Right.
But how many is MORE?
What if her MORE was 100 past partners?
How will YOU know if you're MR.Right? Chances are with a lot of partners you will NEVER be the best lover she has ever had. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:42:12 AM |
Easy? I would simply say that she is enjoying an active sexual lifestyle. Why would you care? She is obviously comfortable with her sexuality as well as her body.
Yes. She could be. Or she could be making bad choices. Or she could be a person with low self-esteem.
Or, like me, she could be regretting a lot of bad decisions for the rest of her life. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/9/2008 12:13:57 AM |
But how many is MORE?
What if her MORE was 100 past partners?
OK. What if?
How will YOU know if you're MR.Right? Chances are with a lot of partners you will NEVER be the best lover she has ever had.
Well, if I'm not and it matters to her, it's up to her to help me out. I'm not any more clairvoyant if she's had 3 partners than I am if she's had 300. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/9/2008 12:18:46 AM |
My partner would freak if he knew the truth about my past. The little he does know is enough to disturb him. I'm always afraid he will find out about what I've done before him. I'm very afraid I will lose him if he does. All my past experiences are not worth losing a great guy over.
The fact that you haden't been honest would be what causes me to leave, not what you're hiding. I'd hate to be in your shoes. As long as you're with that guy, you'll live in fear of him finding out. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/9/2008 8:31:10 AM |
The fact that you haden't been honest would be what causes me to leave, not what you're hiding. I'd hate to be in your shoes. As long as you're with that guy, you'll live in fear of him finding out.
I have been honest. I have simply not told him because he has not asked. Which seems to be the policy suggested in a lot of threads in the forums.
And you're right, I do live in fear of him finding out. | |
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| men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/9/2008 9:09:23 AM |
Posted By: cuteangelbaby on 9/7/2008 7  53 PM Message: I don't think it should be an issue as long as she was free of STD's. It is one of those things people find a woman "easy" if she has had alot of partners but a man is a "stud".
I hear women say this a lot. Maybe from a woman's perspective he is. And maybe from his own perspective he is. Most guys don't think in those term of other guys. We don't hero worship based on some guys sexlife. In fact, we tend to make fun of these guys who will hit anything that'll roll-over and stick it's ass in the air. We aren't, with a few exceptions, even jealous... Unless he happens to be kicking it with someone we ourselves are interested in, and had hoped had higher standards than to be a another notch on some guys bedpost. | |
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