|
|
|
|
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/17/2008 11:57:22 AM |
I finished the book and was given hope by a story at the end written by a BP that admitted it, got help, recovered, and is living a beautiful life with her husband and family. Armed with the knowledge the book equipped me with I told the therapist I intended to stick with my GF. I now knew how to cope and work with my GF through this.
This is at the end of "Walking on Eggshells"
Published proof that it can be done. Issues can be dealt with, and overcome.
HOPEFULLY, with widespread information, more Borderlines will recognize themselves, and want to give up the misery the thinking causes. I wouldn't want to go back...my thinking was confused, and wishy washy (at best). Now, for the most part...I still have moments...I know what I think, and why.
Ceij:
You say in your post that your g/f was seeing a therapist. Do you know if he/she had ever broached the subject of BPD with your g/f? | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:44:40 PM | Hello Quazi 100,
Ceij: You say in your post that your g/f was seeing a therapist. Do you know if he/she had ever broached the subject of BPD with your g/f?
Her therapist was a specialist for eating disorders.
She said that she tried many therapists before she settled on the one she has and that the one she has was just starting out when they met.
Remember that I said that when I told her:
My “GF” immediately told me to get different therapist.
One night at dinner the subject of my therapy sessions came up. She knew quite a bit about BPD and warned me not to “be diagnosed” with the disorder. She said that it is considered incurable and I would not be able to be employed or be accepted for medical insurance.
She was obviously afraid of that diagnosis.
I assured her that my therapist knew I wasn’t a BP.
As another point to bear in mind, my GF was paying her therapist directly to avoid insurance records or investigations on her diagnosis.
Then she asked about the book and I said “I don’t know why she wants me to read that – it discusses other things in addition to BPD.”
She then said “oh, so maybe she has you reading the book so you can be more sensitive to someone with eating disorders”.
This was my “way out” of that particular situation so I said “yes, perhaps that is why she has me reading that book.”
Now I wasn’t the only one that was having issues with her behavior while I was dating her. She was kicked out of her boss’s office at work, alienated one of her few friends, and became very angry with her therapist to the point that the therapist asked her to leave and did not want to discuss the matter on the phone until their next session.
She’s had to transfer to different offices due to un-resolvable work issues (she’s union protected and it is quite the task to “fire anyone”).
I’m a bit hesitant to post too many details here. She’s not on PoF (yet) but regardless I still care for her and do not want to identify her or cause her pain.
I will say that her mother was diagnosed with a serious illness when my GF was very young and was not able to be there for her. In addition her father was an alcoholic. Particulars of my GF’s behavior also indicate sexual abuse and I discussed this with the therapist who treats many BPs.
When I went against the book’s recommendation and tried to gently confront her about the BPD she went into a rage surpassed only by the phone call the next day when she realized that my intention was to end the relationship.
Her reaction and deep knowledge of BPD were strong indicators that one of her therapists or psychiatrists had broached the subject of BPD with her in the past.
The therapist I was seeing is actually the one that brought this up. She also believes that my GF’s therapist is afraid to broach the subject because of the rage and a possible malpractice charge.
In the aftermath I discussed what happened and what the ending of “Stop Walking on Eggshells” said. The therapist asked me: “What was the difference in the success story at the end of the book, all the other stories, and what you’ve just been through?”
I said “The BP admitted she had it and sought specific help for it.”
My therapist said “exactly.”
HOPEFULLY, with widespread information, more Borderlines will recognize themselves, and want to give up the misery the thinking causes. I wouldn't want to go back...my thinking was confused, and wishy washy (at best). Now, for the most part...I still have moments...I know what I think, and why.
There is a stigma associated with BPD as my GF demonstrated in her fears of that diagnosis (employment, insurance). Hopefully someday, with the help and hope provided by “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and many other sources, society will realize that BPD is treatable and even curable, many BPs will face down their demons, seek help, and recover. I hope my former GF faces the demons within her and she goes on to find happiness and fulfillment.
Quazi 100,
I commend you for the courage to seek help and recover. You are one of the few that did.
All my best,
Ceij
PS: I want to share some of the lyrics to a song that helped me when I ended the relationship. It’s a song by “Third Eye Blind” and it’s called “Jumper”:
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in, and if you do not want to see me again, I would understand.
The angry boy, a bit too insane, icing over a secret pain, you know you don't belong.
You're the first to fight, you're way too loud, you're the flash of light on a burial shroud, I know something's wrong. Well everyone I know has got a reason to say… Put the past away.
Well, he's on the table, and he's gone to code, and I do not think anyone knows what they are doing here.
And your friends have left, you've been dismissed, I never thought it would come to this and I, I want you to know:
Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today.. We can put the past away….
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in, and if you do not want to see me again, I would understand. I would understand. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:54:58 PM | | Well I got married to my high school sweatheart 12 years after school..She had been really abused by her x...I think it messed her up for life..any way after9 years she started just freeking out...then she went holiness--what a real joke of a religion that turned out to be...and went completely off her rocker..I could not recognize her any more...THey have medicine for that now but hey NO MORE...Dont even think about it Please dont screw up your life...you will regret it in time. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/17/2008 4:07:51 PM |
Yes, I dated someone with BPD. It was a rollercoaster ride through an emotional hell.
well, few people would go the distance described in this post. you must have an incredibly strong and resilient spirit.
and we learn so much from dealing with these people. you probably found out things you never dreamed of. i know i did. and i now have an acute awareness of how someone can present so well one moment and fall apart the next.
There is a stigma associated with BPD as my GF demonstrated in her fears of that diagnosis (employment, insurance). Hopefully someday, with the help and hope provided by “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and many other sources, society will realize that BPD is treatable and even curable, many BPs will face down their demons, seek help, and recover. I hope my former GF faces the demons within her and she goes on to find happiness and fulfillment.
yes. we want the best for people, especially for those in so much pain.
Quazi 100,
I commend you for the courage to seek help and recover. You are one of the few that did.
my sentiments exactly. you'd have to have a partner totally devoted to making the relationship work by utilizing the techniques described on this thread, combined with the willingness of the bpd to seek help and use constant vigilance in their behaviors.
i commend anyone willing to undertake this. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:53:55 PM | Ceij56
Thank you for your balanced and informative posts. I am hearing well thought out information, and my questions have been fully answered.
Her reaction and deep knowledge of BPD were strong indicators that one of her therapists or psychiatrists had broached the subject of BPD with her in the past.
The therapist I was seeing is actually the one that brought this up. She also believes that my GF’s therapist is afraid to broach the subject because of the rage and a possible malpractice charge.
This is a very real possibility. If your therapist could make a diagnosis from what you said, her therapist would likely be very aware of the situation.
Now I wasn’t the only one that was having issues with her behavior while I was dating her. She was kicked out of her boss’s office at work, alienated one of her few friends, and became very angry with her therapist to the point that the therapist asked her to leave and did not want to discuss the matter on the phone until their next session.
She’s had to transfer to different offices due to un-resolvable work issues (she’s union protected and it is quite the task to “fire anyone”).
Unfortunately, your g/f sounds like she's in just enough control to function "under the radar". These are tough people to deal with...for any reason...I don't think I need to explain.
There is a stigma associated with BPD as my GF demonstrated in her fears of that diagnosis (employment, insurance). Hopefully someday, with the help and hope provided by “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and many other sources, society will realize that BPD is treatable and even curable, many BPs will face down their demons, seek help, and recover. I hope my former GF faces the demons within her and she goes on to find happiness and fulfillment.
There is a huge stigma about BPD...I was in a discussion with a group of "Nons" about mental health issues...one person (who had taken psychology) started talking about BPD....the "textbook" definition came out. I told her that I am BPD...she recoiled in horror, and actually stepped back from me. I explained a few things to her, and we worked together for about 6 months. When we run into each other now, we hug, and take a few minutes to catch up...I am a person to her, not a "diagnosis".
I hope your stay on PoF is very short, Ceij.....you sound like a good catch to me. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/17/2008 7:42:44 PM | Well, let me start of with, what a trip this last 2 days were. This guy from here contacts me, says he is smitten with me in 3 messages...then it goes from I am gorgeous to I am a little ****. Wow, after a few emails??? He also says he wants to marry me..good god! Then tonight it goes from gorgeous and wonderful, to, I hope a transport truck runs over you..you little whore. Wow, am I in the wrong place???
Need to warm you ladies about...stevenb....oh my god..what a trip he is. Maybe I will get booted of here for giving the name. But what the heck, at least I told you so. I am in the medical field, and know this type. He is very abusive mentally, but comes on like he is a saint. What will he be like in person??? Stay away. Oh my god, this is terrible.
I joined this site because I am way too busy with my job, and many hours, to take the time to go out and mingle as usual, however, try to fit it in. I am insulted and quite offended by this guy. Be aware ladies.
Take from it what you will, and be careful please.... | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/17/2008 7:58:06 PM | | run away as fast as you can. until they address their BPD, they are incapable of loving anyone but themselves. trust me. I dated someone who has this, he admitted it, but his behavior was so up and down it was maddening. I haven't been with this guy in over 2 years and he still calls me every six months trying to see me again and I don't. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:59:17 AM | Hi... Thank you for this synopsis! I just wish some of these 'developments' had been available almost 10 years ago.
One of my younger brother's was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder many years before that time. No borderline here... he was diagnosed by the Navy and independents in this field of psychology. He spent time in the VA Mental Wards, as well as a short stint in Chattahoochee here in FL. We got him out of there and into the VA as quickly as possible... not a place for anyone, insane or otherwise at the public asylum (and it was and asylum!)
It was very hard growing up with him. He must have been borderline when he was a child, but all the markers were there. He was difficult to live with as a family member, I cannot imagine how the women in his life were able to handle it, as we family members were just barely able to at times, and sometimes we just had to try to cut ties with him for spells... but never did completely abandon him. My mother was his legal guardian, and had to have her name on any legal contracts, bank accts, checks, etc., but she did her best to let him handle his life on his own.
And he was mostly pretty normal, but he would go on jags or what we called his 'spells', of totally being off the wall. That was usually when he would end up on the mental ward for a few weeks.
He was very reckless most of the time... he had his own idea of how life should be lived, not only for himself, but for anyone he was close to in his life. We used to say he he had an army of guardian angels surrounding him, he would get into car accidents (one-car, which ever he was driving) and total them and come out without a scratch).... things like that. He never hurt anyone, he was mostly all mouth.
But his luck ran out in March of '99, right after his 40th birthday. Someone who didn't like him lured him to a bar where the guy had a couple of friends waiting. They pulled him out of his car and kicked the s**t out of him, causing much damage. We know it was not mutual combat, the police photos of him after his death showed no offensive injuries, just on scratch on his face and no bruised or swollen knuckles like he had even had a chance to fight back. He went to the VA Emergency room, but they did not help him... never did a White Blood Count Test to check for possible infections that may have been started as a result of the beating.
They sent him home early Sunday morning (he had gone into the ER there not too long after midnite the nite before), and Monday morning he died from peritonitis, as a result of a crushed spermatic cord and other internal injuries that caused possible sepsis. The coroner ruled it as a homocide, but the local state's atty called it 'mutual combat', and even tho' the guy had been put into jail sometime the week afterwards for a different charge.... but the law would not charge the guy with anything.
More later.. Dell is on the phone.. finish later.. sorry...
Take care... Wendy : ) | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:15:38 PM | If you want to read about this just Google it! Here are some links.
http://www.fortunecity.com/campus/psychology/781/bpd-dsm.htm
The next one is pretty good and talks about some of the history.
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/bpd.html
With the evolution of the DSM from DSM-II to the present psychiatric diagnoses went from psychodynamic to more of a medical model. The same is true of treatment. For anyone who thinks that this is their personal issue I would suggest doing a thorough search not with Google but with Medline or any of the other medical search engines. Look for local support groups and websites. They often have good information.
I did wonder why this thread was so long. I can only guess that it reflects the fact that this is a very controversial subject in mental health, and that a person carrying this diagnosis along with anyone who has a family member or loved one with the problem has been to hell and back dealing with it. I also think there are quite a few "self help" books written about it both for the person with the diagnosis and those who deal with the person who has it.
I certainly have not looked at all the subjects posted but dating someone with an addiction is certainly far more common that dating someone with BPD and just as problematic. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:17:15 PM | I certainly have not looked at all the subjects posted but dating someone with an addiction is certainly far more common that dating someone with BPD and just as problematic.
*In her best BPD voice*.....enfpforyou.....will you marry me?
I view this as a vote of confidence...thank you.
Oh, Extroverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling..... | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:54:41 PM | The two sites listed are very informative...
Although they are almost accurate to a fault, ( I was actually laughing at parts, like, a Borderline can talk to a therapist for 5 hours, about him/herself and not give the therapist a "realistic" view of the Borderline....which is because we don't know, ourselves...and we think we're "bad")....but, I have trouble with a "symptom" being described as "odd thinking" and other such ambiguities.
Is the diagnosis of BPD going to hang on "odd thinking"? She has 4 of the criteria, and "odd thinking".....she's BPD. If "odd thinking" or "unusual perceptions" can't be described, why mention them?
That's contained in the Diagnostic Interview under "Cognitions".
It's because of ambiguities like this that I get defensive when "Nons" start quoting self help terminology at me, and I don't even understand the meaning of it.....and I'm the one who has the disorder they are talking about.
I've been told that I CAN'T have intimate relationships. I CAN, and HAVE.
There are 6.5 billion combinations of brains on this planet. 2% are BPD. I find it hard to believe that not ONE of that 2% can have an intimate relationship.
To reach where I am today, I have had to learn how to think "out of the box"....I've had to jettison beliefs that were fairly ingrained, and make room for more appropriate beliefs. I've had to stretch my brain in ways it didn't want to go, because my therapist told me it was the right thing to do. Now, I can say ahhh, that's why. But at the time, it went against my grain.
So when I get told that as a Borderline, I'm not CAPABLE of doing something, I have a problem with it.
I have turned my brain into a pretzel to get where I am...it's straightening itself out, slowly, getting used to it's new status, and it's thanking me for taking the time and effort to get us out of the hell we were living in. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:02:15 PM | | RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They have major abandonment issues. No matter what you do, it isn't the right thing. "I love you, I hate you, don't leave me." Don't waste your time. Move on to someone who will make you happy. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:19:35 PM | By your last statement you've ruled out 25% of the population; at some pount in their lives they could be diagnosed with a mental illness.
People with BPD can change. The best help right now is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. With this therapy a person can be "normal" within two years if they are committed to getting better. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:34:03 PM | I wish you people would educate yourselves better. Your stereotypes don't fit all people with BPD. People with BPD do not have multiple personalities. It's their emotions that are way out of control.
One person on this forum said they couldn't afford the treatment. Go online. There's an excellent site that will help you deal with a person with this diagnsis.
:borderlinecentral.com
I'll have to keep track of all the names of those who reacted without understanding and with ignorance. I could have said stupidity! | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:29:12 PM |
People with BPD do not have multiple personalities.
I'd like to hear other people's views on this.
In all fairness, I'm the only person who suspected (after 5 years) that my exbf struggled with BPD. He was never diagnosed with it even though he *occasionally* saw a psych and was regularly under the care of a GP (3 month blood tests for lithium toxicity) for bipolar.
The first experience of reading the criteria for BPD was jaw-dropping. He fit them all except for cutting. However, he did have what I'd describe, as three distinct personalities. He stayed in "Mr. Wonderful" most of the time with extreme punctuations into what I dubbed "Mr. Evil" and "Hurt Child". "Mr. Wonderful" never remembered what the latter two ever said or did, and I thoroughly believe this. He has no memory of his childhood. He wistfully mentioned that he didn't know who he was and had no identity. I know that it also sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I've became an unwilling armchair psychologist due to the relationships I've had.
Do others agree that "people with BPD do not have multiple personalities"? BTW, this man was more than intelligent, he was brilliant and that is no exaggeration. | |
|
| |
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 8:51:56 PM | Here's a class act story: I was going to avoid this thread because I have seem it on various occasions, but now that I had a run in with my ex ONLINE, I'm going to do it.
Well, I dated this ***hole about three years ago for a full year. At first he was sweet and nice, and about a month into the relationship he CHANGED DRAMATICALLY. Dummy me decided to stay with him. His chemical imbalances were waaaayyy off. He became emotionally, physically, and mentally abusive to me and himself, and I still stayed with the son-of-a-*****. I was always VERY nice to this man, I treated him like a king in every possible way, and I was too stupid to just get up and leave despite what everyone said. When I would leave, he would cry like a big baby and beg me to stay, and then everything would be cool for a little while. ANYTHING would set him off, and in a drop of a hat, here comes the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde complex. One moment he was sweet, one moment he was the biggest prickster that ever walked the face of this earth. He would always call me stupid if I didn't know a Jeopardy question, and would take the phone, keyboard and mouse, and the extra set of car keys so I couldn't go anywhere. He used to beat me, and once kicked me in the face when I was down. Then the next moment...He was sweet again. I didn't UNDERSTAND it. When I refused to talk to him, he threatened to kill himself by taking a bottle of pills & use to cut himself for attention. FINALLY about 11 months into the relationship I went to Canada to visit my parents. I came back and he dumped me for a 16 year old girl that he ****ed in our bed when I was gone (He was 28 at the time) I found this out by the girl herself, and he later admitted it to me. Ever since, I forgave him and I attempted to be civil with him. I really don't talk to him, but he's still complaining about his life & threatening to kill himself & giving sob stories "that no one cares about me, I'm always going to be alone, I hate myself, blah blah blah". So tonight, after I have not spoken with him in MONTHS, he ims me on aim...Out of the blue....To **** me out for posting too many bullitins on Myspace! I was like....what the hell? Who the hell are you dude? So I gave him a warning to back off & and leave me alone for good. And the prickster had the audacity to call me names that were not even true.
Can you say.... Bi-polar much? Has anyone had a man like this? I didn't know bi-polarism got as bad as this (And he truly had it because he was diagnosed by a doctor)
Sorry for the rant, I'm so mad right now  | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:17:31 PM |
People with BPD do not have multiple personalities.
I'd like to hear other people's views on this.
In all fairness, I'm the only person who suspected (after 5 years) that my exbf struggled with BPD. He was never diagnosed with it even though he *occasionally* saw a psych and was regularly under the care of a GP (3 month blood tests for lithium toxicity) for bipolar.
The first experience of reading the criteria for BPD was jaw-dropping. He fit them all except for cutting. However, he did have what I'd describe, as three distinct personalities. He stayed in "Mr. Wonderful" most of the time with extreme punctuations into what I dubbed "Mr. Evil" and "Hurt Child". "Mr. Wonderful" never remembered what the latter two ever said or did, and I thoroughly believe this. He has no memory of his childhood. He wistfully mentioned that he didn't know who he was and had no identity. I know that it also sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I've became an unwilling armchair psychologist due to the relationships I've had.
Do others agree that "people with BPD do not have multiple personalities"? BTW, this man was more than intelligent, he was brilliant and that is no exaggeration.
In addition to having daily mood swings, I would have "cyclic" moods as well. I would have what I called my "aggressive" period, my "weepy" period, and my "scared" period...and at a particular time during the month, I was plain "scary"...even to myself.
I am Bi-Polar II as well as Borderline. Surprise!
And while I think that there might have been some denial thrown in there, the moods are so all encompassing, that I can believe to a point that he had no memory of what happened.
The "no identity" part sounds more Borderline than PTSD to me.
I know that with me, the Bi-Polar and Borderline worked together, and I could tell which one was at work, by the way I was thinking. They appear very similar, but the intent of the thinking is different.
Without ever meeting the man, I can see how it could be possible that with a little give and take on how accurately he was describing things, that he could be telling the truth, as he saw it.
Behaviour modification and changing my thinking consolidated all these different moods and swings. I'm not saying I don't have different moods, but I'm no longer "labile". | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:02:00 AM | I was married to one I now suspect had BPD then recently dated one who was later formally diagnosed. Guess I have a bad picker. Anyway, they were both rollercoasters. They would love you and say you're the perfect person one moment then hate you with the heat of a thousand suns the next. I let the recent one move in with me because she was getting evicted from her apartment. Finally had to kick her out and she ended up sleeping on my patio over New Years Eve (I wasn't home).
Then she moved in with an old boyfriend and she's been leaching off him for a year now. At different times she'd threaten to call the police and allege domestic violence (that's when I kicked her out - I walked straight across the hall, got a witness that she was okay and called the police to keep the peace while she got her shit out). All kinds of crazy stuff. | |
|
| |
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/20/2008 6:57:34 PM | I am getting divorced from my wife who suffers from bpd that is genetic and runs though most of her family. We had been married for 9 months when she left. I really don't know where to start describing my five years with her. The were the best and worst years of my life. Her Mother, 2 brothers, aunt, cousin, grandmother on her mother's side have all been diagnosed for bpd. All except one brother refuse any type of proactive measure to regulate and control the disorder. She is 20 years old and has been raised in an environment that allowed and almost encouraged the wide range of emotions, attitudes, and rage that isa associated with bpd. Now my wife refused to get any medical check up and would get pissed at the mere mention of her having bpd except when she "crashes" and goes back into the sweet girl mood that made me fall in love with her. However by the next morning anything that she promised to do about it was long forgotten.
The thing with my wife at least was that she was caught in a catch 22. She had grown up with so my hatred for the way bpd made her family act and the pain it caused her. So instead of accepting it when it began to become obvious that she had it also and fight to control it she did the exact opposite. She has allowed it to ruin her life because if she admitted she had it she would become "one" of them and that would make her a bad person and weak in her eyes. So she just acts like she is not affected by it. The best thing that ever happened to me was when she left. I new that it had worn on me emotionally and that she had begun to change who I was as a person. In the two and a half months my family says I have that spark in my eye again and am once again happy. Stupid me stayed with her because she had an amazing body and a lot of memories of when she was not all over the emotional map.
Some of the things she has done"
Ran off with a 35 year old guy (she is 20) to make me mad .
Divorced and the told me" I am going to regret this but I want make you as depressed and pissed as I am"
Cut herself numerous times to feel better
Left her family and me to become a meth whore
Crashed her car into a tree with me riding along because she wanted to get hurt and maybe get a new car.
Thrown knives at her mom
constantly tells her family that she wishes they would all die and leave her slone
constantly quits jobs because everybody is talking about her ( in 5 years she ahs had about two dozens job)
Currently she calls and tells me she is trying to get pregnant so maybe her kid will be the first person to love her
Crashed a lawn tractor into the her dad's house because nobody understands her (And she wonders why... What the tractor had to do with her being confusing to everybody I will never know)
She is capable of anything. I have talked to a shrink trying to get advice on how to deal with her and ways of getting her to see that see needs to make an attempt and control this. He thought with my description and the descriptions that her family gave that bpd might be the least of her issues. | |
|
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/20/2008 9:06:37 PM |
She is capable of anything. I have talked to a shrink trying to get advice on how to deal with her and ways of getting her to see that see needs to make an attempt and control this. He thought with my description and the descriptions that her family gave that bpd might be the least of her issues.
Did the shrink give you any advice? Did he tell you what the "bigger" issues were?
She's in "destruct" mode...and not necessarily "self destruct". She's willing to take other people with her.
The tractor incident was an indicator of her frustration (which is akin to anger) level. This is far beyond throwing a plate across the room...
The frustration is with not being understood.....my suggestion....have her talk to another Borderline, (NOT a family member) who can sympathize with her, and show her that they know what she's talking about...even a little bit of understanding could make her feel not so "alone". Venting to a sympathetic ear, could stop the "spiral". It won't really solve anything, but she won't feel so isolated.
If there's any way, that anyone can intervene....lie to her, do whatever has to be done so that the spiral can be stopped....I would suggest doing it.
I wish you good luck..... | |
|
| |
| |
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:50:50 PM | Learn from this and always remember it when you meet a new potential bf. Because I don't give a shit if they are "bipolar" or wtf ever, these people are just NOT worth the pain! This is coming from a woman who was married to "one" for almost 14yrs & had 3 kids with the monster whom he terrorized the entire time while they watched their father beat the shit out of me at the slightest sign of disagreeing with him. Now I'm trying to finish raising 2 of his kids, now teenagers, who happened to inherit this crap from him. I get to spend the rest of my life trying to keep them out of jail, from committing suicide, & get to spend most of my free time at shrinks, therapists, and refilling their prescriptions. Oh joy. I don't even know why I came on this sight because anybody with a brain would want nothing to do with us! I would never let my boys know how I feel, I love them desperately with all my heart & do not resent the care they need. But would I do it all again if I knew back then what I know now? For my kids sake, no, I probably wouldnt. Because a lot of it has been an extremely miserable existence for them, me, their Dad, & the girls that have had the misfortune to fall in love with them. And if you don't like what I'm saying I really could care less, the good thing about living with Bipolar afflicted children is there is little to nothing ANYBODY can do or say to hurt you anymore. I've heard it ALL. good luck. | |
|
|
| Page 26 of 37
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 |
|
Home
login 
