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czw42
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Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 701 | |
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:05:26 PM | | I am in the process of getting a divorce from a borderline female. Had I known then what I know now about borderline I would have ran the other way. I just don't think I could handle another relationship like that. She was so nice at the beginning. We clicked really well. I Then she changed. The mood swings, the lying, the anger, etc. Nothing in the relationship was ever her fault. I suggested therapy and she wanted no part of that. I agree that mine was emotionally dysfunctional. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 7:22:29 AM | I married someone with BPD, it was horrible. I thank God every day that he has moved 1300 miles away, even though he only sees his children once or twice a year now since I do not allow them to go to his home.
I got the book Stop Walking on Eggshells and joined a couple yahoo groups for BPD and it has helped a LOT I basically had to grow a pair and he doesn't threaten or try to bully me as much any more. And when he does, I remain completely calm, tell him I have to go and I am going to hang up now. and then, i DO lol he's always still talking and he almost always calls back again and again but just don't answer.
We recently had a visit where he came to michigan to visit the children that went pretty well. He knows he is not allowed to be at my house, or stay at his parents home anymore, so he stayed with a friend who also has a child and my daughter stayed 2 nights with him. He managed not to freak out at all which made me feel much better about our situation.
I still groan when i see his number come up on the caller ID, but at least I know how to handle myself if things start to go downhill. Educating myself on BPD has been invaluable!! | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 7:33:02 AM | | Take if from a nurse who has worked on a mental health unit. Just to put it simply.. Adults with Borderline personality are over grown 14 year olds... drama, drama, drama... if you go for that sort of chaos in your life then good luck to you.. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 8:09:02 AM |
Actually, all the literature indicates that a diagnosed BPD is ALWAYS dysfunctional in an intimate relationship.
Does the literature also indicate, that if dealt with PROPERLY, the devaluation (which is the proper name) can be turned around into trust? The secret? Perseverance, and NO EXPECTATIONS. Failure could seem imminent....busted your ass, and you're getting nothing but grief for your trouble. If you stick around, you MIGHT, one day, see changes. As long as you keep the expectations down, and don't try to force anything, the BPD slowly gets comfortable in your company....keep it up and that will grow. Then you will have your intimate relationship.
I've seen it, and I've done it.
I know you don't want a BPD, Ren...you've made it very clear what you think of us...but if you read thru the BPD posts on this thread, you will see that the motivation behind our actions is very different than how the self/help books portray us.....we are actually hurt, frightened children, looking for attention.....think about it..... | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:40:28 AM | In actuality, I've seen literature that shows that BPD can be controlled and quite well, at that.
In addition, I deal with someone who has full blown BPD, all the time. I'm in that person's life, regularly. As long as they're on their meds, and they're dealt with certain ways, they are NOT DYSFUNCTIONAL at all.
In regards to being a nurse in a hospital...of course, you get to see them at their worst! You also get to see someone who is sick at their worst too. If someone comes in that is a heart patient, and they just had a heart attack, they wouldn't look so good at that time, either. That doesn't mean the person is sick 24/7 at home, or they're experiencing heart attacks regularly when they're home. They have their moments...and so do depressed people, and people who have adhd, and those who are Bi Polar, etc. You ONLY get to see the BPD patient that isn't doing well, as a nurse. I mean, why get help at that time, if they're doing fine, right? However, what you don't get to see...is the one that is doing just fine, and functioning quite well, at home, until...they have a difficult time.
Needless to say, they can be quite normal, when in a relationship, dependent on how one handles said relationship, and dependent on their medication, medical intervention, etc.
Can it be drama city? Sure, then again, I've never met someone who didn't have a bit of drama in their life...and if ANY of you have met someone who didn't have a bit of drama in their life, at one point or another (be it because of a death, a birth, a loss of a friendship, a difficult upcoming deadline at work, an upcoming test, a menstral cycle, etc.,) PLEASE stand on the pulpit right now, before everyone, and proclaim your superior lifestyle to all before you. We all await your omnipresence. ;)  | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 6:20:33 PM | That's absolutely incorrect information! In fact, many times, diet and exercise show some improvement, as does interacting with the person on a 'positive' level.
Sometimes, people can say things that trigger an 'abandonment' emotion in the BPD patient, and the person interacting with the BPD party, might not even be aware of what they said. I've found certain things will trigger the gal I spoke about, previously. As long as you stay away from those triggers, they can tend to be quite normal, or as normal as possible, anyway (based on what society considers normal).
As far as which medication is best, there is no such thing. For many patients, Tegretol works well. For others lithium. For yet, others, SRIs, and so on. Serzone is very good if the person has no OCD, but not as good if they do. Long-term, nefazodone has fewer side effects and is significantly cheaper. Effexor works in others, as well. If you took 100 people with BPD, Effexor would work in more of them to reduce the illness than Serzone, at least according to studies done.
Which is best really depends on which one fits the particular situation, and that's dependent on each of their body's own chemistry, as well as their symptoms. Many times, doctors will try varying combinations, because BPD can be comorbid and have secondary or tertiary illnesses. Many people swear by Nardil or Parnate, but as I said, no one medication works on all.
You folks need to understand what BPD really is, and how one is affected. So, here is some REAL information about the disability. Please read up on it, so that some of you know what you're looking at, before assuming someone else has it, or trying to think that they're undateable, etc.
What are the symptoms of BPD?
Individuals with BPD have several of the following symptoms:
Marked mood swings with periods of intense depression, irritability, and/or anxiety lasting a few hours to a few days;
Inappropriate, intense, or uncontrolled anger;
Impulsiveness in spending, sex, substance use, shoplifting, reckless driving, or binge eating;
Recurring suicidal threats or self-injurious behavior;
Unstable, intense personal relationships with extreme, black and white views of people and experiences, sometimes alternating between "all good" idealization and "all bad" devaluation;
Marked, persistent uncertainty about self-image, long term goals, friendships, and values;
Chronic boredom or feelings of emptiness; and
Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, either real or imagined.
(none of the above symptoms, some of the above, or all of the above could show up in BPD patients at any one time. However, 'most' patients only exhibit a few of the symptoms at any one time).
What causes BPD?
The causes of BPD are unclear, although psychological and biological factors may be involved. Originally thought to "border on" schizophrenia, BPD also appears to be related to serious depressive illness. In some cases, neurological disorders play a role. Biological problems may cause mood instability and lack of impulse control, which in turn may contribute to troubled relationships. Difficulties in psychological development during childhood, perhaps associated with neglect, abuse, or inconsistent parenting, may create identity and personality problems. More research is needed to clarify the psychological and/or biological factors causing BPD. The field is also actively looking at genetic vulnerabilities.
How is BPD treated?
A combination of psychotherapy and medication appears to provide the best results for treatment of BPD. Medications can be useful in reducing anxiety, depression, and disruptive impulses. Relief of such symptoms may help the individual deal with harmful patterns of thinking and interacting that disrupt daily activities.
Long-term outpatient psychotherapy and group therapy (if the individual is carefully matched to the group) can be helpful. Short-term hospitalization may be necessary during times of extreme stress, impulsive behavior, or substance abuse. More structured cognitive interventions like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) are now widely used.
Can other disorders co-occur with BPD?
Yes. Determining whether other psychiatric disorders may be involved is critical. BPD may be accompanied by serious depressive illness (including bipolar disorder), eating disorders, and alcohol or drug abuse. About 50 percent of people with BPD experience episodes of serious depression. At these times, the "usual" depression becomes more intense and steady, and sleep and appetite disturbances may occur or worsen. These symptoms, and the other disorders mentioned above, may require specific treatment. A neurological evaluation may be necessary for some individuals.
What medications are prescribed for BPD?
Antidepressants, anticonvulsants, and the new atypical antipsychotics are common for BPD. Decisions about medication use should be made cooperatively between the individual and the therapist or psychiatrist. Issues to be considered include the person's willingness to take the medication as prescribed, and the possible benefits, risks, and side effects of the medication, particularly the risk of overdose. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 8:15:37 PM | If you only look in one book, the main medical book, but you're not a physician...you don't know what you're reading. You see the problem, which is identified in the DSM, but you don't see the solutions, because you don't know where to look or how to look. You see, you haven't been trained for such. Thus, maybe you should leave the diagnosing to the doctors?
Maybe you should see the http://ericbellman.com/examplesandcases.html
Need I say more?
Ok, I will:
Schema therapy
Schema therapy (also called schema-focused therapy) is an integrative approach based on cognitive-behavioral or skills-based techniques along with object relations and gestalt approaches. It directly targets deeper aspects of emotion, personality and schemas (fundamental ways of categorizing and reacting to the world). The treatment also focuses on the relationship with the therapist (including a process of "limited re-parenting"), daily life outside of therapy, and traumatic childhood experiences. It was developed by Jeffrey Young and became established in the 1990s. Limited recent research suggests that it is significantly more effective than transference-focused psychotherapy, with half of individuals with borderline personality disorder assessed as having achieved full recovery after four years, with two thirds showing clinically significant improvement. [78][79] Another very small trial has also suggested efficacy.[80]
Interest in the use of psychoeducation and skills training approaches for families with borderline members is growing.[71]
Cognitive behavioral therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most widely used and established psychological treatment for mental disorders, but has appeared less successful in BPD, due partly to difficulties in developing a therapeutic relationship and treatment adherence. Approaches such as DBT and Schema-focused therapy developed partly as an attempt to expand and add to traditional CBT, which uses a limited number of sessions to target specific maladaptive patterns of thought, perception and behavior. A recent study did find a number of sustained benefits of CBT, in addition to treatment as usual, after an average of 16 sessions over one year.[81]
[edit] Marital or family therapy
Marital therapy can be helpful in stabilizing the marital relationship and in reducing marital conflict and stress that can worsen BPD symptoms. Family therapy or family psychoeducation can help educate family members regarding BPD, improve family communication and problem solving, and provide support to family members in dealing with their loved one's illness.
http://www.bpdresourcecenter.org/what_treatment.htm
"Without adequate treatment, the illness is lifelong, and all too often ends in suicide. With good treatment, the outlook is very favorable indeed in many cases. Among the 500 borderline patients studied by Dr. Michael Stone at the Columbia Psychiatric Institute over more than 20 years, 4 out of 10 are clinically recovered 10-20 years after their point of entry into the study during hospitalization. Seventy-five percent are self-supporting and doing reasonably well. The suicide rate was 7% as of 16 years post-admission. The patients who recovered tended to be those who persisted in psychotherapy over many years. "
So, obviously, there are successful treatments available and the poster above isn't aware of these successes. ;)
With half of individuals with borderline personality disorder assessed as having achieved full recovery after four years! Do you not know how to read? | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 8:20:58 PM | No- I have dated one that was pass borderline and to tell the truth
DAMN IT CRAZY
I know that HE needed HELP that I couldn't give him. AND bouncing from Happy to Sad, to ANGER and
self-pity is a miserable way to live and a relationship cannot survive no matter what you do...... So face the pure fact!
They live on DRAMA, They are Highly Charge Volcanos looking to ERUPT at anytime or place. My sister is one of these
people and everyday is a serious conflict that creates MISERY for anyone who comes close to her.
They need serious Medical Attention and Therapy
And don't be afraid to
No one wants to end up dead because they are trying to have a LIFE----If you can't HELP THEM, and they will not seek help
use the next opportunity to end your own mental anguish and stay away from them. They will find another SUCKER to torment
and abuse. It is part of the disease. It takes many years to create TRUST and have them respond in a normal loving way. I
personally have lived with her all my life and we are close as sisters are. It is just too hard for me to deal with a man who
stretches my patience, my goodness and my sense of what I should and shouldn't do. Cause HE DEMANDS ALL- including
my attention. He doesn't want anyone in my life but HIM and so I threw in the towel. I have by BLOOD one obligation- and
no way can I take on another or handle another FREAKED OUT INDIVIDUAL. ANd the PITY is, to them- they are normal and I
am the one that is SICKO!
May all of you be blessed that are going that extra mile in helping them establish some kind of normal life. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 8:37:47 PM | Boy what a thread!
I have to agree with Ren's comment
Why would any sane person choose to enter into a new relationship with a BPD?
However I do really appreciate all the input from Quazi and Sweethang and the education that you have layed out there for those who are not aquainted with this mental condition. And of course I totally agree as a nurse I do see BPD's at their worst on the unit, and I don't see BPD's when the are at their best functionally.
So point well taken Quazi...If someone is already in a relationship with a BPD education is your best friend.. ohhh and lots of patience...  | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:11:35 PM | Despite what everyone says negative. As someone with BPD, I hope one day, someone sticks around enough to enjoy the things I have to offer.
Right now, its hard to remember that though. I'm more than a little dysfunctional as of late.. I tried, well, I ran into someone that made me feel special and I went against my inner voice, telling me to slow down, and it ended in disaster... I felt like I was going to be abandoned, but then, ended up, doing some things to make him lose trust in me. Then I figured it would be easier to end it while it was ahead.
He said one thing to me... that I will never forget, because I've heard it so many times before. " I will be here when you need me, but I want you to get better, and then when you get better, well... we will see" Meaning, when I get "better" maybe we could have a relationship.
I've come to the realization I never will be "better" only more functional. I've also come to realize, if you don't want to be by side, when I can't cope. Why would you deserve me when I can? Its not any more fair to me, than it is for someone to put up with me. I don't blame the people in my life for leaving, only myself. As if they don't run away, I force them away... only to want them back two seconds later.
But it seems to be... the "I need saved syndrome" Men that are attracted to me, want to save me, and it gets tiring.... I think everyone needs someone to love them, but for me, I don't want to be with someone who is with me out of obligation.
I'm probably rambling, but I'm a BPD, thats trying to cope with her life, and until I realize each step of the way, my faults, and my weaknesses, I can't work to make myself a better person. BPD may not be curable or even completely treatable in the conventional form, but I think, that there is hope. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:34:59 PM | I dated someone diagnosed with BPD. Most of the comments here seem to be mistaking it for multiple personalities; it isn't.
I would date someone with BPD again IF they realized they had it AND they were being treated. Without treatment, it won't be much of a relationship anyway.
While they truly see themsleves as unworthy, they will definitely push that onto you. And their emotions turn on a dime. The jealousy they experience is over the top ( a simple flirt from a cashier would send her into a rage).
They are intense feeling people and hard to resist as they will really bond hard and fast. But then it will get shallow equally as fast. You may not be able to hold onto them as they tend to always want to run away from people they are involved with. It can be a rollercoaster ride.
I loved the woman I was with who suffered BPD (likely brought on by multiple relative sexual abuse in her past). Reality was, it did not matter. She would not let herself be loved. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:36:21 PM | With half of individuals with borderline personality disorder assessed as having achieved full recovery after four years!
I don't know why people can't seem to read. It's not like it's rocket science, folks! In black and white...it IS TREATABLE, and there is a SOLUTION! There is also medication. It's like saying there is no treatment for high cholesterol. Of course there is!
Look, no one is perfect, and no one will EVER be perfect, no matter how hard they try. Everyone goes around talking about no drama. Well, to this day, I've NEVER met even ONE man, much less a woman, in this world, that didn't carry their own drama at one point or another in their life.
So, anyone that says, don't get involved with a person who has a few physical or emotional problems, well...obviously has their own. I deal with someone who has BPD, almost daily. I know the in's and outs of the entire thing. Yet, I don't abandon her, nor fault her for her problems. You want perfection? Good luck finding it in this IMPERFECT world. It's never going to happen. Personally, I think 'most' of you will end up chasing your imaginary rainbow, looking for something that just doesn't exist; something perfect.
Reality is...people are who they are, with all their imperfections. So, they're not perfect, but neither is anyone here.
Here is something for all of you to ponder...
If God granted you a child that was BPD, or worse...would you still love them? Would you still keep them in your life? Or, would you abandon them, just because there was something wrong with them? Would you want someone else to abandon them, just because sometimes it was rough? Or would you want that person to ACCEPT them just the way they are, with all their imperfections? Just something to think about as you're passing judgment on another individual!
I'll tell you one thing...the bible says this:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:1-5)
Now, I'll leave it to you! | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:51:45 PM | Actually, this one was done here:
http://www.bpdresourcecenter.org/what_treatment.htm
"Without adequate treatment, the illness is lifelong, and all too often ends in suicide. With good treatment, the outlook is very favorable indeed in many cases. Among the 500 borderline patients studied by Dr. Michael Stone at the Columbia Psychiatric Institute over more than 20 years, 4 out of 10 are clinically recovered 10-20 years after their point of entry into the study during hospitalization. Seventy-five percent are self-supporting and doing reasonably well. The suicide rate was 7% as of 16 years post-admission. The patients who recovered tended to be those who persisted in psychotherapy over many years. "
NY PRESBYTERIAN HOSPITAL COLUMBIA AND CORNELL...I beg to disagree with your findings, doc. hehe
So, please inform us all...when did you graduate from medical school? Or, are you merely a lay person who is bound and determined to impress us with your intellect, in regards to the medical community's scientific findings? Boy, what hutzpah (is that the way it's spelled?). Can you imagine trying to put down several 'scientific experts', in addition to the psychiatric medical community as a whole, and not even be educated as a physician, Amazing!!
And they say BPD patients are overboard...SHEESH! :(
Oh, and the psychiatric institute has nothing to sell...oh darn. Maybe we can get them to sell bedpans? hehe
Talk about not being credible, eh? | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:10:46 PM |
I have one now that sends me messages on Yahoo Messenger. I want to find out how I can stop him from harrassing me dailey. He just doesn't get it that I'm not interested in him. We met and it didn't work so I want this insanity to stop.
There is a similar disorder predominately afflicting males called Narcisitic Personality Disorder or NPD. If you do a search you will find many support sites with a wealth of information detailing characteristics of NPD's (and others) . There is no successful treatment for the disorder to date.
The advice given is NO CONTACT whatsoever with the NPD. None! The sites give advice on how to distance yourself from the NPD.
There is also info on BPD and other disorders on the sites.
Good Luck. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:12:08 PM |
With half of individuals with borderline personality disorder assessed as having achieved full recovery after four years!
Where was this information obtained?
I read your more recent post, but not sure... that I'm all for the "CURE"
As, in parts of my life, I appear as normal as an imperfect person can. Certain situations make my borderline tendencies come more into the light...
So in the clinical research and observations.. how long was the borderline observed? Where is the case research? I'm more of a numbers person... and even then.. I tend not to believe everything I hear..
Thanks for sharing your information though!! (I love your posts, they are soooo informative) | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:23:30 PM | Joules, it was a long standing study that was done and they did it over a 20 yr period, as they followed the patients throughout the entire study. It was done by a very 'prominent' hospital in N.Y. called N.Y. Presbyterian Hospital. The center's staff is led by Dr. Otto F. Kernberg. 1-888-694-2273
If you contact him, I'm fairly sure he will be able to help you to reach your goal of having a normal life. There's no reason why you or anyone else has to suffer, when there is medical assistance available. I'm glad I was some help. :)
There are three more studies being done, currently:
Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City is currently accepting subjects who meet criteria for BPD. Click the link below for more information: http://www.mssm.edu/psychiatry/mpdp/index.shtml.
Weill Medical College of Cornell University is currently accepting subjects who meet criteria for BPD. Interested individuals should call John C. Markowitz, M.D. at either (212) 543-6283 or (212) 746-3774 for further information.
The New York State Psychiatric Institute is currently recruiting subjects for a prospective study on Borderline Personality Disorder. Participants will receive free psychiatric evaluation and be compensated.
And, in regards to my doctor friend above (in his dreams, I'm sure), the study said they were what??? RECOVERED...oh my! That indicates that their problems no longer existed. Thus, they were all better, whew! Look, we all know you wouldn't date someone who had issues. So don't! You will save the ones who have difficulties from being battered by someone like you. Personally, I know many BPD patients, and one in specific that I would take into my home, again, and have done so, already, on several ocassions. Are they for the weak hearted? No, they aren't. Then again, neither are thousands of others who CLAIM to be normal.
In fact, I would venture to say, that if ANY of you took a course in psychiatry, you would quickly learn that each and everyone of you has SOME sort of disorder, if not more than one. Trust me, I should know! ;) | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:37:33 PM | "Personal prognosis," hehe. Oh my, I do love when folks talk about things they have no clue about. Yes, Joules, call up the hospital and find out for yourself. Then, you can tell us what they said, eh? Wouldn't that be a blast? ;)
This "prognosis" coming live to you, by a broadcast sales person, hehe. ;) Hey, Renaissance, want a kick in the pants? My daughter is in the medical field, hehe. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:42:52 PM | If only things were that easy.
But you are right, things are misinterpreted.
I'm not cured, but the majority of my life, I work, and I function like a normal per say, person. I'm self sufficient. And I take care of my child. But, like I said before, would I date me... probably not. I try to seek out people with less mental health issues, as two crazy people are too much. ;) I'm only kidding.
As much as I enjoy this thread, its frustrating to read the labels that one puts on a BPD. " My ex was crazy." "They were a liar" "they had multiple personalities"
Read the facts. They are posted here many many times. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:52:17 PM | Joules, exactly my point. You see, the study is not just one where they were trying to make BPD patients "self-sufficient" or "less suicidal". Those are just two parts of the study. Many BPD's are already that. Thus, that would be fruitless, obviously, as you've already pointed out.
Call them up, trust me! They've made some remarkable advances regarding all sorts of things with medication and illnesses, both physical and emotional.
Don't take what the 'typical lay person' says, just because they can read a little on the internet, now a days. Unfortunately, many read what they want, but they know little to nothing of what really goes on behind the scenes.
By the way, I used to live right down the block from Presbyterian. It's an excellent hospital, and they have wonderful doctors there. If you get a chance, research it out. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:55:32 PM | | Yes. You just have to be aware that they are going to over react to pretty much anything, especially negative things. They are probably going to have severe anger management issues. People with BPD are frequently Bi-Polar too which makes life even more difficult. Alcohol and/or drugs makes the situation worse and these people frequently self-medicate. Ask yourself if you love this person enough to take a journey through hell with them. If so, get some professional help for your own sake. Good Luck! | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:02:48 PM | 16 whole hours, eh? Wow...now, that's what I call training, roflmao. I don't need to convince anyone that 'down' is 'up'. The REAL experts can do that, themselves! You know, the ACTUAL DOCTORS! And, just because you read something on the internet, does not make you one of those experts.
I brought in studies, you put them down. You saw what you 'wanted to read', as opposed to what the study actually states. You worked with adolescents, but can't spell the word (and changing it after the fact, doesn't count, hehe), nor can you even spell diplomat, yet you worked as one? Ok, if you say so! hehe
She's already been through testing, according to her. That doesn't mean she shouldn't research every possible thing she can to help herself (ouch a double negative). Of course, to tell her that she will have to deal with this the rest of her life, when that doesn't have to be so...well, that's more than cruel. You have no way of knowing that!
Personally, I've seen people get past things like this. If you don't want to date someone like that, don't, but don't tell them that they will always have a problem, because last time I checked...NO ONE WAS GOD and could determine the future! | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:07:19 PM | I love everyones input. Everyone here the last few days is so passionate. Thats a good thing.
I do want to point out something else though... as one that seems to slide thru the cracks....
I assume, if she has a diagnosed condition, that she has a mental health professional, who went through the testing and evaluation with her, recommended a course of therapy, and has developed with her a therapeutic goal.
It is quite wrong to assume. I currently don't have a mental health professional, but am trying to get one. I am hoping my effects won't be completely fruitless. Because of my ability to work and function, I make too much money for insurance, and unless I can obtain it thru my job (which I lost recently because of an injury at work), I am uninsurable. Even with my income (unemployment) services are out of reach. Even on my best days, I have trouble coping with the hoops I have to jump thru, to obtain medical help, so on days when I really need it.. (like the past few weeks, its almost impossible)
But I don't mean to go on about my situation, but I know for many people, money and resources are a problem for treatment. Especially depending on where you live.
So I do have goals for my therapy, but because of certain circumstances my treatment has been pushed off. Of course, I could always give up and go on disability and live on the government's funding... And get all the treatment in the world. But because I strive for better things in my life, and for my daughter... here I am. | |
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