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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 2/23/2007 9:09:18 AM | Lol, in my experience you dont "learn" Bpd (nature - nuture argument as always!!),
you get it from childhood - you can't be 20 something then suddenly "develop" bpd!!
:) We DO get better - My shrink at the time said "you been diagnosed early" - "you will get better in your 30's", I thought yeah right, but sod me he was right!!! :) | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/6/2007 6:47:03 PM | I am a recently formally diagnosed (and recovering) BPD, and I'm also a psychology student. (How many of that "1%" do you think go into the field? I'll wager quite a lot!)
I'm actually in the process of writing a research paper on the subject. To answer an earlier post, yes; it is a spectrum disorder...some of us are very high functioning. To add to Moonbeamer's post, most high functioning borderlines "level out" between 35 and 40.
It's my 40th birthday, I'm alone in my own apartment; my ex-wife had a little party for me with the kids, then said I should be going home -and not once did I scream, "You're victimizing/abandoning me!"
-Sorry, that's a little joke. The commentary against borderlines in this thread has been pretty intense, and quite honestly a little bit hurtful, whether intentionally or not.
-But I'm not aloud to say that, because I'll come off as a defensive, cycling BPD. It's sooo paradoxical...even the "nature/nurture" part: I have yet to meet a borderline who doesn't have some sort of legitimacy behind the more intense behaviors. Also: you most cetainly CAN "learn" BPD! Abandonment issues stemming from childhood are very serious, and can cause anyone to present with borderline behavior when feeling similarly threatened.
But back to the negative commentaries: This is a vague, umbrella-like diagnosis, and it frightens people...especially clinicians. You don't treat the condition with meds, you do it the old-fashioned, tried and true way: psychotherapy. Who wants to actually do that anymore, eh? It's easier to write a 'scrip -especially when the patient/client is pestering you for that rather than talking! (Although talk therapy is being found to raise Serotonin levels just as well as treatment through SSRIs) | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:05:51 PM | | keeper16 described the person I spent 11 years with, almost 10 of those married--especially the coldness and seeming like a different person. I struggled to try to figure out what was wrong. I finally gave up on her and the rollercoaster in 2000 after many, many attempts at therapy, etc. I agree it's a condition, there is 'splitting' etc., but too much harm done and worn-thin nerves. I think that if someone KNOWS this is a condition of the person they are interested in, they can educate themselves--realize it's not going to be conquered by your 'love'. But this diagnosis could be elements of other conditions--'mental illness' or not. I try to look for consistency in partners now. Was she 'evil' or something? No, but in early times I felt naive and gave benefit of the doubt, or tried to argue to prove a point, etc. Useless. She remarried fairly soon after we divorced (concealed it from me) and had just a few months earlier proposed we get remarried! Then claimed to like being alone with herself, finally, etc...It is really just sort of sad. I hope her 3rd hub understands it better than it do. She is a mental health professional, btw. Ugh. | |
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| My mother was (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:40:23 PM | From my involuntary experience, those people who posted the suggestions, 'Run Away',
'Run far away', and 'run like hell', are giving exellent advice.
There are several good books on the subject available from Amazon. If you have had a brush with a BPD, read these so you will understand and NEVER go near these guys again!
The BPDs have no respect for other people's boundaries. The world exists for them.
No one deserves respect.
The rages are the worst. Anything, any event , real or imagined, will set them off.
And they can turn on a dime, going from wild-eyed rage, to sweetness and light in a New York Second.
There is no medicine for this condition because BPDs know exactly what they are doing. There is no chemical imbalance to correct.
For those who admit to being a BPD, I do not care what in your history made you act like you do, When I was getting banked off walls, I did not give a rat's hindquarters for your lame justification.
Life is too short. | |
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| My mother was (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/6/2007 9:19:08 PM | I'm sorry for your experience, Keeper...but you are making a gross generalization. As I said, it's a spectrum disorder. I've not posted any kind of "lame justification", other than show a common factor in the disorder, which is abandonment -whether real or perceived.
I've never "banked" anyone off of a wall, either. The thing that bothers me about your post
-and it's NOT a personal attack, is that you have presented us with the most problematic factor in modern psychiatry: "If you cannot medicate, there is no hope." I'm respectfully going to have to call BS on that one; it's precisely why we're so stigmatized. You should try reading "Integrative Treatment for Bordeline Personality Disorder", by John D. Preston.
It's a bit out dated, but very good and unbiased. I am well aware of the bad times a spouse or loved one can go through: I'm not only a Borderline, but I've dated two of them!
Long-term! I think it's awful that out of all of the Axis II category "Personality disorders" we are the most stigmatized, when we're the mildest, and the ONLY cureable ones. | |
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| Dating someone with BPD
Posted: 3/8/2007 11:02:16 PM | Please do RUN if you meet someone with bi-polar or borderline personality disorder. RUN as fast as you can & don't look back! Sure they need love like everyone else, but let it be from a family member and not a love interest. Why should any potential partner put up with their behavior??? No medical condition can justify having to put up with this abusive behavior. You either put up with their B.S. or walk away. Do yourself a favor and walk out at the first sign. You will save yourself a lot of heartache. Know that you can't change them. And if you have to take them to therapy, then let them be somebody else's problem. We all deserve to be treated and respected to the highest degree and should not have to settle for less. Nor should we have to fix someone just so that they can respect us.
My ex-girlfriend has one of these two conditions. She seemed to be more on the BPD side. I didn't know about this until I ran into this subject last night online. My ex has all of the classic symptoms and I put up with it way too long. I loved her so much that I had hoped she would change back to the sweet girl I fell in love with.
We dated for 5 months. The first 2.5 were perfect. We were both madly in love. Then Thanksgiving Day 2006 came & we had spoke of spending it together, but I got out of work late that day so I couldn't make it. She later told me she felt totally rejected for me not making it on Thanksgiving. Then the next day she gets into a car accident. The car was totaled and thankfully she had no injuries. But she had no car insurance. So she gets a ticket for no insurance and a ticket for reckless driving (taking a red light). From that moment on I took her to and from work for the next 3 months. I became more affectionate, romantic and surprised her with gifts to cheer her up since she had lost her freedom (her car). From the moment she had her car accident she lost that loving feeling from 100% to 50% for the rest of the relationship. No matter what I did or say she'd end up fighting with me because everything I did was wrong. There were happy moments in between and we were still in love but that honeymoon feeling she had before was gone. This made me try even harder to please her. She would find the littlest things to fight about. I treated her like a queen and poured my heart out to her to try win her back to that loving feeling, but that was never enough for her. She ended up breaking up with me, because she says I didn't make her my first priority. I was devastated. It's now been 10 days and last night I find out about Borderline Personality Disorder. When I read up on it I then discovered that this is what my ex was suffering from.
The relationship was consuming me way too much. It literally drained me both physically and mentally. I lost 12 lbs. due to loss of appetite and now I'm emotionally wrecked. Had I walked away at the first sign of her madness I would have been so past this relationship by now. I have learned so much from this relationship that I will never put up with another girl's B.S. ever again. That is why I have no tolerance for people with this condition. Let them be somebody else's problem. I give my best so I deserve no less. I realize I was way too nice and had become a doormat. I'm surprised at myself because I have never been like that in any of my other relationships.
My ex gave me red flags throughout the relationship. She told me "I tend to have short, intense relationships," & "Get ready for a bumpy ride," early on. I ignored the signals, because I was in love. I've learned now to not fall in love so quick and to listen to my gut feelings.
People, please learn from my mistakes and RUN when you realize your mate is bi-polar or has BPD. | |
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| Dating someone with BPD
Posted: 3/8/2007 11:22:26 PM |
People, please learn from my mistakes and RUN when you realize your mate is bi-polar or has BPD
Are you in fact a registered psychiatrist? If not,then you haven't the right or the education to make such a cruel statement.If someone has a mental disorder that makes thier life unmanageable,then yes,one should not involve themselves with such a person.But if a person has a mental disorder that is medicated and properly coped with,if that person holds a fulltime job,pays thier bills,raises thier family and lives just like the rest of us,why the hell should they be shunned?
I am sorry you had a rotten experience and were wronged and hurt,I truly am.No one deserves that shit.But that gives you no right to makes sweeping judgements about a certain type of people,who have a disorder THROUGH NO FAULT OF THIER OWN.Some people are born with this imbalance.I realize that some people with a mental disorder can be unbalanced,and harmful to themselves and others.The fact of the matter is more people are dealing with a mental issue than you think.I have suffered from depression in the past and have an anxiety disorder.For a long time I stayed home and didn't participate with others,I felt wierd,different,felt if anyone found out they would no longer want to associate with me.I missed out on a lot for a long time.I now have the courage to leave the house to work and see my friends and do all the stuff everyone does,I have found a great way to deal with my anxiety without medication,and am happy and content.When a problem arises,I am able to deal with it in an appropriate manner,and I even got a promotion at work,which involved meeting new people and doing something new that I have wanted to do for a while,but hadn't the confidence.Should I be shunned,banned from dating?Should everyone avoid me like the plague?
Each person deals with things differently.You are not an expert on people with mental disorders just because of one nutty girlfriend.I know you are going to say you aren't speaking about all disorders,just BPD and Bi-polar,but not everyone with that disorder acts the same either,I have known people with Bi-polar who take thier meds and life thier life as normal. | |
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| Dating someone with BPD
Posted: 3/9/2007 12:21:38 AM | OMG..... Without a doubt. I am one of the ...."Run like he!! people on this one" I was married to one for about 8 years. I had 2 children with her. I am, unfortunately, still connected with her... but she has had three husbands since me plus other affairs so I have dropped off her radar. thank god.
This woman was the most CRUEL human being I have ever known in my entire life!!! And I lived with her, and attempted to create a life with her. I am Still recovering from the devastating effects of it...9 years later!!! I allmost died in 1994 of a bleeding ulcer! I ended up 50 miles away at the nearest large hospital clinically dead! A couple of months before that a friend gave me a standard stress test in which my score was so high that all it said in red letters was: 'you are in danger of developing a life threatening illness'...!!!!!!!!!!!! and I was!!! EVIL!! These people are evil..and thats all there is too it! I don't give a damn about feeling sorry for the mentally ill....you hear me...not one bit!!
When you first meet a borderline, they will be the most passionate person you have known. And they are submissive... thats how they suck you in...set the hook...prime the pump! Once you have fallen for them and real life begins... all affection from them is instantly shut off, just like turning the handle of a faucet! As far as they are concernd, they have done their work..now its your turn! what???? don't try and reason it out... there is no rationality to it. They are EVIL! Its like haveing satan living in your house...in your bed. Mine happened to be an alcoholic too. Binge drinker. And...given to violent outbursts. I hung on because of the kids. She constantly threatened to take them away. It was terrifying.
She had two distinct personnas. (she was a redhead) The nice one, which was allmost too nice...I called 'the little red haired girl'. Quiet, gentle, soft voice...wouldn't hurt a mouse. The other thing...I called...'the Red creature'. this thing was Evil manifest! And it came out whenever you didn't give back complete adoration and approval. She had other 'acting outs' too. If cornered in a have to be accountable situation..she would then begin what a couseler later told me was..."degeneration". She would regress into a frightened psychotic little girl , groaning and moaning on the floor, adopting a fetal position... and in general this too terrified the be=geezus out of me!!
Borderlines will do more than break your heart. They will pulverize it, then cremate it..then take the ashes and spread them in tiny little bits all over the planet. It takes a long time to put a heart like that back together. Yes...when they Love you...you will never feel more loved and adored than that. But, when they quickly begin to Hate you... you will NEVER feel a more diabolical and evil hatred> If you are reasonabley normal, as I was...you will begin to go insane yourself. They are "crazy Makers"... thats one of their best survival tools. They are June Cleaver's diabolical evil twin. Instead of creating a serene and productive home...they create insanity and ruination.
Now I read that age tends to lessen and even cure this malady???? If that is true then I had the great fortune of having joined my life with a severe borderline during the most devastating and evil phase of her disorder... her 20s!!!!!!! she is nearing 40 now...and actually does seem to be better.... allthough she stilll goes thru men like water. Still starts relationships with that overpowering intensity..and soon doesn't like them. she is on her third one since me.
I hav had two full years of counselers and now 11 years of a recovery program... thanks to my time with this woman. and, my carreer has been reduced to survival mode. When you are with one of these types.... don't figure on being able to focus on anything else...Like your work!!!!!!! forget it!!! for years after she was gone, I suffered from clinical PTSD. I had continual panic attacks. I broke out in sobs uncontrollably... I thought there was an evil offspring of her living inside my chest.... I would cower in terror, whenever whe would come to pick up the kids....(usually with her latest boyfriend whom always took her side!!). she was very beautiful and had No problem finding VICTIMS. It took me many yuears to find myself again.
Yes, you might say I have 'dated' a borderline. And, my advice: GET out...run, Forrest...Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And don't look back..or they will suck you back like the sirens in Ulysis!!!!! Remember.......Evil!!!!!! | |
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e7997
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Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 84 | |
| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:37:38 AM | Well I am 9 days out of the relationship. I can say honestly that it was the harderst thing I have ever done and am still going through it. What you dont' realize is how insane the mood switches are. Eventually he was stuck in either fast forward and self destructive or in slow motion and barely alive. Apparently with help (meds, therapy etc) it can be ok but I can tell you first hand if it is untreated DO NOT start a relationship. It turns into about how you are never going to be able to make them happy and then you have no option but to internalize that and start to question yourself as a person. He would call me from work and tell me how much he loved me then when he came home 1 hour later tell me I was a slut because I was cheating on him and he wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night. He would then wake up in the morning and pretend like nothing was wrong. Other times he was like a 5 year old child and full of excitement and wonder and unfortunately an uncanny ability to drain the bank account in 1 hour on really odd objects. He would by a pair of gloves then deside he needed 15 more incase the ones he had wore out. I don't want to be negative but really unless you consider your self the strongest person you know and a thick skin so the terrible things they will tell you when they are raging (like I never loved you anyway, I hate you) then stay friends until they seek help and therapy.
They start to teach you how to act and really you end up enabling them to become verbally, emotionally abusive.(untreated). Your life starts to revolve around how not to make them freak. So my advise is no one should have to endure the behavior of an untreated bi-polar. You CAN NOT change them. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/9/2007 11:43:09 PM | DISCLAIMER: Any negative comments toward BPD is towards people who are UNTREATED. If you're TREATED, then don't take offense because we're not talking about you.
(From now on we all have to put disclaimers before we comment, otherwise we will get attacked for offending someone. Snoogins, I'm sorry you were offended by my previous post)
Pinebreeze, I got chills reading your post. Your experience about how BPD people work described my ex-girlfriend down to a 'T. You hit the nail right down the spot. You actually described a formula of how they work to be Evil.
Read my story from my previous post so you'll know what I went through.
Two days ago I felt I was starting to go crazy to the point that I was crying hysterically and asked GOD, "Why did this girl do this to me?" One hour later I stumbled across Borderline Personality Disorder in one of these forums. I had never heard of it. I researched it and realized that my ex has this condition. Had I not made this discovery I'd probably be worse right now, because I was starting to think there was something wrong with me. GOD answered my question. I will be able to heal now, because now I know why I went through everything my ex put me through. Great to see how GOD works in mysterious ways when we are at our breaking point. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:48:54 AM | Wow I have read the posts on here and it sounds like a lot of bitter ex's.....
Just because some one falls in to the characteristics of a bpd, does not mean they are. The only person that can diagnose it is a trained professional. There is a long questionnaire that needs to be completed to help figure out what kind of mental condition a person has.
We all have all had the traits at one point or another in your lives of bpd. It is so easy to blame others but it takes two to tango.
I have experience in this subject but just going to leave it at that. There are various degrees of the condition and treatments for it. If you want to learn more about the condition and get some idea of what a bpd is going through, you should read “ I hate you don’t leave me”.
All the run away comments are a terrible thing; think about it you are just reinforcing the whole abandonment issues that they have. As well as the emptiness they feel, and feelings of not being good enough. You are all just adding to their fears and beliefs. Never allowing them to get better or healthy. If you can not handle a relationship with them that is fine. But hey still be there as a friend and help support them.
If your loved one had a brain tumor that caused them to act the way they did, you would all be OMG I am never going to leave you and we will get through this.
Before you judge others look in your own closets first, I am sure you have put some one through some sort of hell.
Also I am wondering if some of you people do not have the condition. The reason I say this is because one major trait of bpd is spliting, projecting and transfering. As they like to make you feel like you are the person that was in the wrong. Perhaps you all negative people have bpd, and are just projecting the traites on to your ex's. Because you are sick and can not admit to it.
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/10/2007 10:12:02 AM | Ralph, your ex didn't have bipolar disorder and she didn't have BPD. You get out of work late on Thanksgiving. She has a car accident the next day. Not much chance of her not being hurt, especially if she was T-boned in the intersection. Don't say a peep about that one. I bet she got a good blow upside the head from the nearest hard object - the support pillar on the car. Even if she didn't, a car accident that severely damages a vehicle, and the resulting tickets/fines and loss of transportation, must have been some serious stress for her. Kudos to you for working to be supportive.
Ever occur to you that it might have caused significant depression - or that her emoational decline and lack of involvement might have stemmed from that accident. After all, it was the turning point. Now maybe the accident the day after a major family holiday when you stood her up, maybe that was coincidental. But ya know, she probably was not paying attention because she was mulling things over between you and her.
Anyway, all of this is under the bridge. Unless she was diagnosed professionally, its unlikely that she suddenly manifested BPD. More like she had depression and anger complications from physical damage related to her car accident - the turning point in your relationship.
Read up on depression. You're quite likely to run into individuals who suffer from it again. You may very well have a bout of it yourself in the near future or you may have it now - since you mention being emotionally wrecked.
Hope you're not dating. You're a lousy candidate for a relationship at present. Get yourself into counseling and treatment for your stress driven emotional breakdown. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:43:18 PM | SOMBIENT, I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and respond indepth to my situation. Thanks! You may be right in that my ex maybe suffering from depression and not BPD. Whatever it was it changed her for the worse. Regardless of her condition, I never gave up trying to win her back. All I did was support her in every way possible and love her to the fullest only to have her dump me in return for "not making her my first priority." Those words were a slap in the face to me. Being that I took her to work everyday for 3 months. That is the thanks I get.
I don't think I'm suffering depression. I think it's more I'm heartbroken and just missing her, because it is still so fresh. We all go through this grieving process when being dumped. I'm not dating by the way. I won't be ready for a while. Right now I'm just trying to educate myself by reading as much as I can about relationships and psychology. I'm gonna research depression by the way. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm also seeking support from others by joining these forums and talking to friends. This is all very therapeutic. I'm in the process of moving right now. Once I move into my own place the excitement from it will shift my focus to something new and will GREATLY help me move on. I can't wait.
Once again, thanks for your input. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:43:34 AM | I suppose that I'm not allowed to say how horrible people are behaving in this thread, because I'll only come off as a psychotic BPD, right? I'm glad that the "brain tumor" analogy was posted. People really need to think about the fact that it DOES take "two to tango", and perhaps the "psycho" isn't 100% to blame. I have to stress once more that BPD is a spectrum. Not all of us are going to "bank" you off of walls or mutilate ourselves when you DO INDEED DO SOMETHING to get us upset. Some of us actually have legitimacy behind our issues of abandonment as well, and a better understanding of that key part of the disorder is quite helpful.
Please educate yourself better, and also please step back and try to evaluate your level of empathy before launching into tirades. That in itself is somewhat borderline behavior! It takes patience and understanding to be in any relationship, and the more love you give, the more you will get. I myself have made the mistake of walking out on someone for behavior toward me that I have shown to others in the past. It's the biggest regret of my life right now. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/12/2007 2:09:24 PM | I have have worked with the population and pretty much get assigned all the Borderlines all the criminals at my work. BPD is so difficult to treat , holds such a negative connotation that sometimes psychiatrists are reluctant to label someone with it as a diagnosis. It is a personality disorder and not one of psychosis, therefore it can not be treated with medication. Someone with only BPD is a classic sociopath. In 20 years Ive worked with over 1000 people with some sort of MI. Anyone truly a BPD can function, it is everyone else they annoy- That is their trait- They annoy everyone especially their families , coworkers and friends if they can have any.Drama, manipulation to serve their own immediate gratification are primary symptoms. IN treatment the less providers the better treatment, because they specialize in playing everyone against each other. They drive other people crazy, everyone around them THAT is their trademark. There are not many therapists that can handle BPD and there are very few treatment methods to address it. It can not be cured ,,,,EVER. If you care about someone with this disorder just fasten your seat belts its going to be a long long roller coaster of a ride. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/12/2007 8:49:22 PM | I went on a date with a girl with BPD. All I can say is I wouldn't do it again.
Were walking through a park, and she says "I'm not into booty calls".
Then about 10mins later she says "whip it out".
That was the "highlight" moment, there was a couple other things also. | |
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| Dating someone with BPD
Posted: 3/12/2007 10:05:50 PM | Pinebreeze, po #83-- Well put from the victim's stand point. (I am a retired psych professional licensed to make diagnosis) A previous poster did make one correct comment--ANY personality disorder (BPD, narcissist PD, Sociopath PD etc.) all have some things in common, but range from levels of 1 -2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. With the level "1" (just a low arbritary number I picked) may just have some of the traits, not the full-blown stuff, as the numbers and intensity goes up from 1 to 10, the dysfunction increases. Also the danger and the greater the violence to themselves and others. Many rage killers are BPD. There are no medications to treat a pesonality disorder. Usually BPDs are chronicly unhappy, but the 'problem" is that others don't give them what they want. Psychotherapy sometimes helps some, but in general only the lower levels of the disorder.
There seems to be a hereditary component in it in that many infants of BPD mothers who have been adopted out are eventually diagnosed with it too. You can also "create a BPD" by "abandoning" that child as an infant up to age 10.
If you factor in another diagnosis such as a widely swinging Bi-polar with rapid cycling, (which can be controlled with good medical medication supervision in most cases) the dual diagnosis patient is usually OUT of control.
The only common sense approach with a person who is this destructive is to RUN, get out while you can. | |
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| Dating someone with BPD
Posted: 3/13/2007 1:52:31 PM | The gross generalizations in this thread are quite bothersome -especially in that some of them have come from educated mental healthcare professionals! Honestly, I can understand the intensity coming from those who have had traumatic experiences with intense cases; however reading the "throw my hands in the air" responses from qualified clinicians and the like is very alarming.
The amount of posts stating that borderlines are people who (one) should be "ran away from", and the blanket statements that they are (two)"untreatable", seem to bring up two entirely paradoxical quandries:
1: So; in "running away" from a person that you love (assuming this is the case, and obviously I wouldn't question someone in immediate physical peril), are you not yourself "playing the victim"? Are you not yourself "abandoning before facing abandonment"?
WOULD you indeed banish this person if their behavior were the cause of a tumor or some other head trauma...one that you could actually SEE?
2: Statements made to the effect of "borderlines are untreatable" is a sad, hurtful misnomer. I cannot help but notice that such statements are most often (if not "always") followed with "by medication", which begs me to wonder if everyone in our society has abandoned the practice of treatment without the use of pharmopsychology. Are we seeing our clients/patients/spouses/loved ones, et al -as human beings, or merely as defective devices that nothing store-bought will repair?
Isn't writing off a person for being sick sort of cruel? How is that any different than being written off for falling short of sainthood?
Please, people: take these types of things case by case, instead of lumping all individuals with the same diagnosis/label into one big stereotype -because there is a word for that, and I don't even need to say it.
All I will say is this:
"Some of my best friends are borderline." | |
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Sirris
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Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 95 | |
| Dating someone with BPD
Posted: 3/13/2007 2:38:25 PM | Wow, this thread is highly interesting, I must say. As far as dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder, I think it's wise to take into account Worldisorder's views. Like most things, there are extremes that unfortunately tend to stereotype all, and that sometimes gives us a distorted perspective.
One person's experience with a BPD shouldn't typify all types, and while BPD may not be something desirable to deal with, doesn't mean that it's hopeless in all situations.
The "all or nothing" viewpoint is often a fallacy, people. Let's not fall into that trap. I certainly don't mean to diminish or negate other's experiences in any way, people who are involved with mental disorders often have very stressful experiences, as indicated by this thread. But just because one person's experience with someone with BPD is bad, doesn't mean all people with BPD are bad.
As with all generalizations (I.E. Men don't listen, women are too emotional, etc) they may hold a grain of truth in some cases, but generalizations do more harm than good, because we cheat people out of allowing us to see them as individuals, instead grouping them into inaccurate categories or stereotypes.
Tread lightly. | |
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| Dating someone with BPD
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:50:45 PM | Thank you, Sirrus -It's nice to see that someone is actually listening to common sense! I really did not want to do this, but I have to address "Pinebreeze's" comment...it was quite bothersome:
Think before you make blanket statements about human beings like that, please...No; even specifically-directed ones!!
Call me what you will, but your post is sheer and utter douchebaggery at its finest. "She's a redhead"...What the hell was that?
First off, you spelled "Ulysses" wrong; second:
Go work on your bike or something. UGH. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/17/2007 4:49:06 AM | I once dated someone who had schizophrenia (a mild case of it) and I didn't know it. I had to let him go, unfortunately. But it was a good 1 month, until I found out.
I think a lot of men, in my town, have some kind of personality disorder. There's just no GOOD men here...or healthy ones, I should say. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 3/17/2007 6:09:35 AM | I was married to some one with this disorder. I am not placing a label on anyone and do have compassion with anyone suffering from any type of illness. Would I do it again? NO My experience has taught me that the emotional roller coaster ride that trying to maintain a healthy relationship with a BPD that is untreated is impossible.
We all deserve to be loved, respected, and our bounderies to be valued. No one deserves to be emotionally or physically abused.
If you are involved with a BPD I would highly recommend stop walking on eggshells. It provides alot of insight on how to cope with living with a BPD. It also helps and provides direction for those that end a relationship with a BPD and wish to recover from the emotional stresses that it can cause. If anyone is a BPD here and seeking help I salute you.
Recovery from anything can be difficult and anyone with the courage to face the truth and try to deal with it in a healthy manner gets my utmost respect. Most illness both mental and physical are not the fault of the individual that has them. But to refuse treatment or to not to try to take action once a problem is diagnosed is just sad IMHO. | |
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