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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:14:42 AM | Scorpiomover --
Re your Steven Spielberg reference. There is one line in the article, under "Steven Spielberg in brief". Doesn't say where they got this little fact. FWIW, I found one thing in the article that I KNOW is wrong. Amy Irving's father, Jules Irving, was Jewish, although her mother, Pricilla Pointer, was not. So much for the accuracy of the article. I doubt Spielberg's going to be bothered suing for a bunch of one-liners about him having Asberger's -- especially since most of the assertions seem to be speculative.
Reading comprehension. I said I lost 90 pounds 10 years ago. I never said I did it in 45 weeks. FWIW, it took around 14-15 months. I'm a medical writer/publisher. I write about metabolic disease and obesity, so I already know what supposed safe weight loss levels are. They aren't what you think, as long as you're getting adequate nutrition. I lost a lot more than 2 pounds a week in the beginning, and a lot less than 2 pounds a week at the end. This is pretty much the way it goes with weight loss, BTW.
I have good accountants. I've had the same tax accountant for over 20 years. My brother, who is an MBA/CPA, has been doing my internal auditing and other accounting work for over 10 years. So don't worry about me. Smart business people don't do everything themselves, but they do take a look at everything.
I'm glad I have your permission to date whomever I want. That makes me feel so much better!
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 5/20/2007 9:21:56 AM | Everyone who has multiple profiles on this site is a definate BPD and should fess up, it's really amazing how when I look at my matches, there are multiple photos of one person who has different profiles and nicknames....GET A LIFE!  | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:21:05 AM | Verygreeneyez--"I'm afraid I am not equiped with enough skill, patience or understanding to be a positive in your life"---a great catagory!  With your permission I would like to borrow that for the future! How PC! 
Scorpio, while some of your expressed opinions I agree with very much, however the "self diagnosis" is a very dangerous thing. Over here and who knows in the UK too maybe, we have a saying "A lawyer who has himself for a client, has a fool for an attorney and a fool for a client"--self diagnosis is probably one of the WORST ways in physical medicine, but in psychological medicine it is absolutely ...well...there just isn't a word for how bad it is.
Believe me, as a medical and psychological professional I have been on "BOTH SIDES OF THE CLIPBOARD." Just a short example, I started feeling really bad, hurting all over all the time, drew some blood on myself and tested for RA a severe type of arthritis. The test came back negative, but occasionally there will be a kind of this that will be "sero-negative RA"--so when these symptoms continued it was just easier for me to decide that was what I had rather than taking aday off work and going to another medical care provider. So, I suffered for months and months, finally went to a physician who specialized in RA. Took all my blood work, spent an hour with this very smart and nice woman, and at the end of the hour she said "You don't have RA, you have sleep apnea is my guess." She set me up with a sleep apnea clinic, I got tested and was VERY deprived of oxygen during the night and therefore not any "real" sleep. I got a machine and PRESTO I am "cured" of alll the aches and pains. I was a fool to not go to a physician sooner, but because I didn't, I was the o ne that suffered.
Self-diagnosis on mental illness, by either a professional or an amature is more risky than medical self diagnosis. I got lucky on that one as I didn't hesistate while a cancer ate me up or some other big problem, so after my husband was burned to death in a light airplane crash in which I pulled him and the survivors out, even though I was working in mental health at the time, I got to a professional immediately. I had "decided" in my own "diagnosis" that I had PTSD but the psychiatrist said it was severe depression--and thank goodness she was right. It was very difficult for me to be on the "patient" side of the clipboard and to not "diagnose" myself, but it was very important that I let myself be the patient, not the provider. I did that, and I am glad, because ultimately I got much better care, and my recovery was much better and faster than if I had tried to do it myself. Unfortunately, those of us with even good or excellent insight into others have VERY LITTLE insight into ourselves.
No matter how we try to be "rational" about our own behavior, we always see our own behavior in the "best light"--and professoinals can observe it more objectively and without our own "rose colored" glasses with which we always look at our own behavior.
I have great 20:20 HINDSIGHT into my behavior, but much less clear a view of the future.
People with BPD can be very charming for a while. I have been "sucked into" a couple of friendships with BPD, and it is especially bad if they also have Bi-polar along with BPD. I have over the years become fairly adept at "spotting" the early, "very charming" behavior and the offers of "instant best-friendship" as RED FLAGS.
The majority of the time later, my cautionary stance will prove to have been right. Occasionally, though, I will have "backed up" from someone who was genuinely a nice person and for whatever reason just seemed to click with me or our family and they really didn't have borderline personality disorder.
In a "friendship" situation my "action plan" is to back up from them. Look and listen and see how it develops from there. It usually won't take long until you can see. Since I am fairly skilled in the interview process from years of doing therapy, I can sometimes illicit enough information to know that in the past these people will actually admit that they have been diagnosed with some form of personality disorder, or even in some cases have a criminal record to go with it. Yes, they can be very charming.
Most of the time when I saw them professionally at the start they were coming n because of a suicide gesture, threat, or had slashed themselves. Self mutilation is quite common with BPDs, although most of the other personality disorders don't self mutilate. Suicide gestures and threats are common when the person with the disorder is so frustrated at not getting what they want they do this to try to make the other person in this relationship "give in." I'm not impressed by suicide gestures or threats. People who are really going to commit suicide just DO IT. However, if a patient makes a threat or a gesture we are required to take it "seriously" and hospitalize them. Sometimes when someone makes a suicide "gesture," not really intending to DO it, they actually end up DOING it.
Violence is common with BPD as well as the other personality disorders. Your comment that "none of your problems were your fault"--I think is another statement that shows your lack of insight into all of this.
People with personality disorders are usually able to control their behaivor in an intitutional setting where they know that they will have consequences immediately. That their violence will not be tolerated and they will be stopped immediately for attemting to hurt someone. Only occasionally in my experience with inpatients with personality disorders has anyone who is not actually psychotic become violent. People with personality disorders are generally not out of touch with reality in terms of psychotic problems. (hearing voices, seeing things, thinking they can fly, etc)
So, if their behavior can be self-controlled when they know that if they don't self control someone else will control them, is it impossible for them to control it in other situations, or is it because they choose not to control it?
I make choices every day to "control" my emotions and their expressions in behaviors in dealing with people. If I am irritated or angry with someone I choose not to hit the person no matter how "justified" I might feel because of what they said. I not only don't hit someone because I dont' want to go to jail for doing it, I don't hit them because I love them, and don't want to destroy a relationship forever by my out-of-control behavior.
Over a wonderful 20 year marriage before my husband died, there were times I wanted to "throttle" him, and I am sure there are times he wanted to "throttle" me, but we both kept in mind that even ONE instance of that kind of physical or verbal aggression would have absolutely ENDED the relationship FOREVER. You cannot "unring" a bell. Once something is said or done it is said or done forever. Most "normal" people (people without personality disorders) know this and act accordingly. Doesn't mean that all "normal" people have "perfect" or "wonderful" or even "good" relationships, but it does help toward forming them.
Whether personality disorders are genetic, learned, or both, the main static characteristic between the many kinds of personality disorders is that all of them have "relationship difficulties." With family members, auth0rity figures, SOs, usually their children, sometimes neighbors as well. They may also be selective about their poor relationships..for example an NPD or Psychopath may have "wounderful" relationships in public and go home and beat his wife and children "secretly." They can be very charming in public and horrible in secret. They are so "nice" publicly that if their chosen victim comes forward and tries to get the police or others to see what a monster the person with the personality disorder really is, no one will believe them. The victim comes off looking "insane" will the monster is so "rational and polite" and so LYING.
There are all levels of personality disorders and different types of those disorders. People can have multiple diagnoses with mental illnesses as well. It can be quite complex. Some people have these identical behaviors and are never diagnosed at all unless they happen to also be a criminal and get diagnosed in prison. Ted Bundy, a very charming psychopathic killer here in the US was "Mr. Nice guy" in public while slashing and raping and killing "in secret." People who knew him were dumbfounded when he was finally caught. John WAyne Gacy was another "secret" monster serial killer. None of these people were diagnosed prior to finally being caught by the criminal justice system. Doesn't mean the diagnosis wasn't REAL before it was on paper. I also imagine that they didn't have an objective or rational "self diagnosis" either. The list goes on.
Not all people with personality disorders are killers, and not all killers are people with personality disorders, but in general, I can say, people with the behaviors of AND/OR the diagnosis of personality disorders do not in general have a record of successful relationships. So I would think I would like to avoid someone with the behaviors of or the diagnosis of any personality disorder. I don't have the stamina or desire to date someone with personality disorder in an effort to help them "fix" themselves. Just MPO. Peace.  | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:59:23 PM | Well, in the long run I guess I wished that my encounter with a BPD had never happened to me -
See, I was looking for the long term, and genuine- and in my estimation, that is impossible- there is no possibility of anything but a series of self imposed crisis when you get involved with a BPD, if you enjoy a challenge, this is your ride..
It doesn't matter what you do to try and make it work, normal screwed up personalities like mine can't understand the real issue because it evolves and is based on their corrupted perspective.. There is really no way to have the perspective your partner has, no matter how hard you try or how much concern you are capable of.
The dog just won't hunt.
But there is nothing new under the sun, people will still try and make it work and they will fail and another will come along and the cycle continues..
Now my problem is- how do you trust your own judgment once you have been fooled and played ? Every person I meet now is seen through the prism of a BPD relationship survivor- I am not going down that road again, and now I find myself as being over critical of anyone I meet who even resembles that to which I was once attracted.. might be another long summer.  | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 5/21/2007 12:50:48 AM | "How do I trust again?" Zone alert, that is a good question. Not trusting anyone or being so paranoid that you dont want to get close to anyone is a difficult way to live. It is very lonely. My dad used to say "if you put a cat on a hot stove, it is difficult to ever get him onto a cold one." "Once burned, twice shy"
My suggestion is to educate yourself on personality disorders in general--there are quite a few variations, but there are "syndromes"--that simply means a sort of a "check list" of things to look for when you meet someone new.
I recently did an essay on instinct in humans. We call it our "gut feeling"--but we don't listen to it enough. When men lived in caves and tigers roamed the land, men had to keep an eye out for predators that would eat them, or they got taken out of the gene pool. If we "listen to the environment" we are better able to pick out the "human predators" in our midst. A rabbit that is grazing will listen to the birds around him and if they start chirping a certain way, he knows there is a possible predator in the area and runs for cover. he listens again before he comes out of cover, for the birds to sound the "all clear" sign.
Just like the Native Americans would cover themselves with Buffalo hides to sneak up on a herd of buffalo, some people cover themselves in "disguises" to get close to us "for the kill"--
So we need to learn to spot the predators as often as we can. On a forum for survivors of psychopaths and narcissists that I subscribe to a woman asked a question. She had started dating a guy she knew casually, and when they had gone out, the guy had become enraged at a guy who had blarring music and was parked outside the place they were eating. First her date pecked on the windof the eattery, then the guy in the car outside cranked the music higher and her date got up, ran out into the street and started beating on the car's window. She wanted to know if this was a "RED FLAG!"
Of coure it was. Her gut told her it was, but yet she was still not sure. Some times when we start dating someone who is quite attractive and has some qualities we like, etc. and we see these "little" things at first that make our gut "speak up" but we tell it that "it wasn't such a big thing" and don't listen to it, because we WANT to see the nice things in this person.
About 8 months or so after my husband died, I was very depressed, feeling low, feeling old, ugly, fat, etc. etc. (a real pitty party) and a guy I had casually known who was a "mr nice guy" as far as everyone thought starting giving me the "bum's rush"---and there were some TINY indications that at the time I saw, but told my gut to hush. Later it became very apparent he was a psychopathic personality disorder and an abuser (physical and emotional) of women. I fetl so stupid that I let him hook me into it, because I KNEW better.
Most of the men I have met on POF and it has gone as far as a phone call I have actually talked to a couple or three times and "eliminated" because there will be some "little" thing that tips me off that they might not be a good match. One man was talking about his job interviews and how unsuccessful he was "Because they won't let me get past the secretary!" He was very angry and blaming it on someone else. He had no insight into what might be the problem. In that same conversation, I had suggested something to him that might have helped him (not in a critical way at all) and he almost screamed at me, "I know that!" in an angry tone of voice. Needless to say, RED FLAG.
When you are getting to know someone at first, we all tend to be on our "best behavior" and as we get better accquainted the "real us" tends to come out more. I'm pretty much as "what you see is what you get" person, and very "up front." Not at all shy. I had been going out with, as friends only, a guy lately from my living history group that I had met in october. We have gone to auctions, canoeing, out to eat, and just kiind of hung out. I was getting to know him and feeling like I might like this friendship to go a step more maybe toward romance. During a conversation yesterday, however, I kind of saw some things that I don't think would make us a good match, though I would like to keep him as a friend only.]
From what I gather about his past, he was married had a daughter and his wife died. He married a divorced woman with a son, and then they had a son. His wife's son was a druggie, out of control kid whose mother was always "rescuing the kid" and the kid pulled a gun on my friend and pointed it at his head. My friend loved his wife very much, but he told her the kid goes or I do. Period. Boundary set. Two weeks later, his wife let her son back into the house. My friend tried to talk to her about this (he felt very devalued that she thoght more of her son than she did of him) and she slapped his face and said "get out" to him. He did. He left that night. As he was leaving she was running behind the car saing "come back come back!" (actually sounds like BPD behavior to me.) He, I think, is not able to trust again. I can't put my finger on why I think this, but it is just a "gut" feeling I got yesterday. I will listen to my gut on this, and continue to be friends with the man, because I do like him, but I can't see having a relationship with someone who can't trust.
To me TRUST is the deepest part of a relationsihp. My late husband and I had 100% trust in each other, and respect for each other. We didn't always agree, but we disagreed in a respectful manner. We put each other first. People with BPD have difficulty with trust, and they also can "blow things out of proportion." Many times they see things in All black or all white, all good or all bad.
Learn all you can about BPD, Narcissistic and Psychopathic behaivors the forum I go to is thepsychopath dot freeforums dot org. There are links there to all kinds of information and of course there are ways to google BPD and get more information as well--learn to spot the signs, listen to your gut, and build the trust in your own intuitions. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 5/21/2007 11:33:59 PM | Thanks for the concern Ox, you are a truly caring person... I have given as much research as a lay person can, as I said, in the autopsy everything I had endured for 5 years became starkly apparent, and in retrospect my attempts to reconcile the unreconcilable now seem near childish in light of the way I normally approach these matters.
In business or in human relations, one would never make the excuses necessary and offer the apologies needed to excuse purely bad behavior, but in the depth of a relationship, the emotion takes precedence over reason and a imperceptible pattern of acceptance follows -leading to certain disaster.
Just as no sane person who has survived an artillery barrage will ever want to repeat the experience, anyone who has lived and tried to love a BPD will never want to experience it again.
After the fact you wonder what the hey you were thinking, but after all, success always seemed just around the corner with a BPD- the risk seemed worth the effort due to the imagined reward, but in fact no progress is ever possible.
You have said that you are quite attuned to red flags, everyone our age probably does the same- that is unless they have a predatory nature, no one wants to make the big mistake ever again, it is so painful and damaging it seems easier to err on the side of prudence.
A relationship breakup is no normal breakup, you live with the carnage for a long time.
So I and others will just keep on going hoping that someday someone will click and not give any reason to doubt our own judgment, but that is exactly what I felt 8 years ago. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:52:40 AM | Zone Alert, I'd just like to alert you about something about hindsight. When "autopsying" a failed relationship, one of the reasons we do it is to find where the faults lay so that we don't repeat the mistakes from the past. Often times, in doing so, what is a very gray-shaded area (the relationship) is turned into black and white. That often leads to judgement calls and self-excusing justification.
Please don't fall into that trap. I'm sorry that you got treated badly by a Borderline. I broke out of a long-term relationship with one too. I was diagnosed with the disorder many years ago, and I've spent the last 20 years overcoming its hurdles. I'm quite "sane" now, but I never forget where I came from. You'll find me sympathetic to other Borderlines because, once upon a time, there were other people who were able to care about me and had faith me in, so I learned to do the same for myself.
Like Scorpio said, Borderlines are not always sociopaths and psychopaths. Very often they're the ones who have the best coping skills and make life a lot more interesting. If you feel scarred from your last relationship, I can understand your mistrust in others. But please don't let yourself judge someone else by that mistrust. Even if you find yourself attracted to another Borderline (and lemme tell ya, that's all too easy to do!), ask them point-blank questions about themselves. and their behaviors. See if they'll surrender their defences. Deep inside each Borderline is a hurt child that was never taught to love properly and probably doesn't trust also. Your support could make all the difference in the world to them. And, by all means, enforce your own boundaries with respect and consistency. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:03:09 PM | | I was in a long term relationship for 4 years with a man who has Borderline Personality Disorder and I agree with most on here. RUN, RUN as fast as you can! while you can... There is "NO REAL" them, they don't even know who they are themselves! Just like a tornado they cause chaos and destruction in their paths leaving a trail of disaster behind wherever they go. Its a catch 22...They will suck the life out of you and then reject you for being lifeless...they will move on to someone new and more exciting who is full of life. They are unable to maintain stable relationships because once your on to them they will have no use for you and will seek someone unsuspecting. Most professionals will not even attempt to treat this disorder because they know it is untreatable and aware of how manipulative and cunning they are. It is a waste of their valuable time to play games with someone like this. More often, the familys seek help for their anger and confusion since they do not have the option of running. Treatment for loved ones consists of learning and strengthening of coping skills along with the advice that it's counterproductive to try to make sense of the senseless or reason the unreasonable. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:09:00 PM | ("didnt know about it till later on from a psychologist that knows us both .")
Message 14....isn't that like MAJOR breach of patient confidentiality! Her psychologist was way out of order if he told you that and he/she could actually lose their job for it! | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/6/2007 4:12:17 PM | Very Green Eyes...are you trying to write a book? lol Oh and back to the original topic from 3 or 4 pages ago....Borderline Personality Disorder==BI Polar==Manic Depressive....A bunch of excuses for being a LOON....lol | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/6/2007 5:42:40 PM | Yup, my last ex is BPD/NPD...
Craziest damn relationship ever. BPD has to be one of the nastiest things ...I began to doubt my own sanity after only 2 years with a BPD. Their ability to turn everything upside down, sideways and backwards is phenomenal, truly phenomenal. I still can't make sense out of a lot of it. Being split black and white is mind-boggling...how NOTHING IS EVER THEIR FAULT is amazing. Their ability to project is crazy-making. Their self-image (if they even have one..it is said that BPD's do not have a solid ego, or personality) must be like a broken mirror...all these wierd little shards.
But witnessing dissociation is downright terrifying. And the character assassination when you are split black is also a real treat. (look up "Smear Campaign and BPD")
Run...if you meet a BPD, They are charming and sexy and intense, but watch out...any of you, run far, run fast, these people are not capable of maintaining any kind of relationship, they will suck you dry... and I've heard there are actually more women than men with this disorder, so it's not a sexist thing.
Why was I attracted? Well... I didn't see it for quite a while, he was pretty good at "keeping up appearances"...but once I began to see it all hell broke loose.
Why did I attract him? I don't know...maybe because I am a fairly stable person? I really don't know. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/6/2007 6:08:30 PM | I met someone on a different site who did just the same thing...he was really nice in the beginning and oh-so-charming. He became pushy and wanted to rush things, even putting my photo all over his profile page and saying that I was "his woman". He also said that I needed to stop denying my feelings for him because we "both knew how I felt". I then asked him how he could be telling me how I felt, when I still didn't even know him. Then he did a total 360 and became very nasty and rude and started putting me down and saying things like "no wonder you can't keep a man"! I banned him but it didn't stop him from changing his aka and starting over with the charm again....as if nothing had transpired! Yeesh....
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/6/2007 6:25:58 PM | ms_kitty(d637337)
I followed the link http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/bpd.html
I have to wonder how many people can identify with the triats listed on there !!!!
I identified with some of those traits as being the character of me and quite frankly I dont think I have BPD ... Really all these acronyms for these diffrent personlity types make me quite sick ... People are so quick to jump all over them and label others as this or that and its really very pathetic; teachers told me to have my daughter tested for ADD, ADHD, etc, etc, took her and had her tested only to find that she was none of the above... we moved areas and changed school, I told the new school that she was put on an IDP (indiviual development plan) and I was told not to worry they would look into it and look after her; She was there for a couple of weeks and I got a call from the school I was full of dread !!! they called to tell me that they had tested her IQ and she was off the charts !!! So much for the ADD and such
Anyway the moral of my story .... stick your acronyms and labels where the sun doesnt shine ....
People are who they are and theres nothing more really to be said on the story !!!!
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:01:42 PM | Well folks, for anyone who hasn't spent an hour or so reading this entire thread, do it. Well worth the time, essential info for anyone to know.
I salute the courage of all those who shared their stories. They have survived, and many are still healing from being in a relationship with a BPD. And, those who have attacked them with a morally superior fascistic standpoint for their less than perfect presentations and/or perceptions nauseate me, but no doubt these 'critics' are reaping their just rewards in life for their attitudes.
Now here is my advice:
For anyone considering dating another person, do the person that you will become 10 years from now a BIG favor and research the topics based on whatever you know about that person, especially any disorders. Read the true stories. You can then make an informed decision on what direction in which you want your life to go.
Real simple. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/8/2007 8:25:37 AM | | OMG! This sounds all too familiar. Lived with a man, who was jealous and controlling, for a excrutiatingly painful year (he's on this site too - scary!). All I can say women, when that 1st red flag goes up .... get out, QUICK! | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/8/2007 8:57:18 AM | I tend to shy away from any guy with a Personality Disorder. The damage their illness can do to you outweighs the benefits of the relationship.
There are other maladaptive behaviors etc. from disorders that can interfere sometimes in relationships but I think I could deal with stuff like that because there are real possibilities for growth and change there. When it comes to personality disorders though I have a lot less faith that they can or will ever be able to control their behavior unless its to feed a dyfunctional motive. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/8/2007 9:07:56 AM | There is a HUGE difference between a Personality Disorder and Mental Illness, folks!
Personality disorder, formerly referred to as a Characterological disorder is a class of mental disorders characterized by rigid and on-going patterns of thought and action. The underlying belief systems informing these patterns are referred to as fixed fantasies. The inflexibility and pervasiveness of these behavioral patterns often cause serious personal and social difficulties, as well as a general impairment of functioning. - i.e. An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
Here are examples of several types:
* Antisocial personality disorder
* Borderline personality disorder
* Histrionic personality disorder
* Narcissistic personality disorder
The basic character of the person has been fractured in early developement but this doesn't become apparent until late 30's --> early 40's or when a traumatic evident takes place such as death of a parent. Drugs and/or counseling and/or Religion(debatable, I know) will not bring this condition under control, folks! As far as they are concerned, everyone else has the problem.... not them!
Usually, almost always... there will be another disorder attached such as: Narcissistic/Borderline Personality Disorder.
This was what my ex had been diagnosed with... He would create his own problems every day! He would cause problems in my life and then act like the Knight in Shining Armour and come to my rescue.... he just would not accept that it would be better if he never created the disaster that he would save me from!
I consider him to be a Drama King - the lies, cheatings, thefts, arrogance has been out of my life for 3 years today!!! Oct. 08, 2004 is the day my divorce was finally granted!
Run like Hell folks... they will suck your spirit dry and then become enraged with you when you are 'all gived out' !javascript:smilie(' ')
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/8/2007 1:41:53 PM | I was wondering if anyone had dated or is currently in a relationshiop with someone with BPD and if so what are some of your experiences, how do you cope? how did it end up?
My experiences? Hmmm - well, have you ever tried to reason with The Incredible Hulk - on PCP? No? Well, that's a good place to start. Do that and THEN we'll compare notes - ok? lol
How did I cope? I would just calmly and respectfully ask her, in the most peaceful and loving tone of voice I could muster, to please calm herself down so we could share our feelings constructively, and discuss the issue rationally, using our good comminication skills and our mutual respect for one another to solve our problem. Worked every time.
NOT!
How did it end up? Was a nightmare. It's over. There IS a God!
Run.
Run as fast as you can.
Run as far as you can.
Don't EVER look back. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/8/2007 2:25:07 PM | | The more I read about BPD the more I think my ex had that. He was a very frightening man. Nearly drove me over the edge. And yes they do drain you and then when your empty they want to destroy you and move on to the next victom. | |
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| Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 10/10/2007 8:27:48 AM | | I will agree with you on that one. My ex never took meds, but our Doctor said he was definately Bi-Polar. Yes, he was very abusive, and irrational. Extemely verbal, would throw things to make his point, and only when i circummed to his level was he able to communicate, and soon I'd pray ,every time, that it would be over. | |
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