| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:49:56 AM | What dum ass said .... OPie likes attention, and doesn't turn it down from anyone. Am I the only one with a pretty clear idea how she got pregnant in the first place? I would bet a cherry pie that someone insisted a little, and she didn't say yes, but didn't say no, either.
what i say...
WOW u sound like a real winner, maybe u yourself are one of those creeps!! maybe u ar on the sex offenders list by that comment. Anger management may help u!!
as for the creep....I live in langley (pratically your neighbour) invite me over & i will tell him where to go for ya... Just avoid him, best idea. I myself hate confrontation but when it comes to your & your kids saftey grow a set gal. | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:53:40 AM | be polite but never personal
never make it so it's just to two of you alone , and if it is , keep that time as limited as possible.
STOP STOP STOP accepting any/all gifts
seems like a good start.... | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 6:07:25 AM | | Well you could be polite to him but when he starts chatting politely tell him you have such and such a chore to do and exit the scene. If you stand there and let him chat to you it is encouraging him. Or ask him about his wife? How she is doing etc? | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:03:38 AM | Same thing happened to a friend of mine...went on for years until she moved. Even though she had nothing to do with him. His obsession wont stop until you leave the scene.
Bingo, Sad to but true.
A good friend of mine moved because of some jerk who just wouldn't stop bugging her no matter what she said or did....its f---ing sad that it had to come to that. | |
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Pers14
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Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 103 | |
| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:14:24 AM | I'm coming into the thread late...your Spidey Sense is tingling...and for good reason!
- in personal space
- food items
- gifts (cds, etc...)
He's 'grooming' you for something. Buttering you up. I know it's hard for us women sometimes, but you have to say, "I want for you to stop. I do not want the food, items, or you to talk to me. You are in my personal space. I do not like it." And walk away.
Don't smile, look straight into his eyes (don't show fear) put your hand or hands up in a back off motion about a foot from your body. Body language is important. Be assertive. You have to protect you and your kids' personal space.
If he tries again, "I do not want to talk to you. If you bother me again, I will be talking to your wife. If I cannot talk to your wife, I will be talking to the police. This is the last time I will say this, I do not want to talk to you." And walk. Keep any notes, emails, what have you.
This is from experience. There was the lecherous old guy that was trying to bother me in my apartment building. To the point of trying to let himself in. I had to yell "NO" in his face and close the door forcefully on him. I also had to talk to his wife, with the bevy of love notes he had left for me. He doesn't bother me anymore. | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:25:24 AM | Why are you posting this on a forum where you are going to get the entire gamut of opinions...?? Probably running from the complete paranoid.. call the cops, get a restraining order, you must protect yourself and your children!! Have him shot. Do a background check. blah blah blah to the more sane people who may suggest maybe the guy is just really trying to be friendly...
Have you talked to your neighbor?? Have you told him, "hey, whats up with this?"
There are any number of things that could be going on... yes, from the weird to the completely mundane. But your never going to know, unless you talk to him. And if you're too paranoid and 'creeped out' to do that, not much help for you... Ask him abotu his wife, his kids, find out more information. Maybe HE is bored to death and is just trying to get some air and conversation.... | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:26:08 AM | OK...sorry, but since he is your neighbor...if he really IS stalkerish and weird, I think the advice of being blatant and telling him, "BACK OFF" is....dangerous. That would add fuel to the fire!
But I agree that you could be enabling his behaviors.
I think mentioning a fellow in your life, is smart. I think asking many questions about his wife is smarter! (NOT like YOU are trying to find out more about HIM...but genuinely about her) Try asking him, "What is your wifes name? What does she do for a living? Would she be interested in having coffee one day...I am in dire need of some FEMALE friendships? Will you introduce your wife to me? And that sort. Or even, "I feel uncomfortable knowing you without having met your wife...can you introduce us?"
And when he dumps your coffee...maybe try a, "Whoa....I am an adult and I don't need or want a man, especially a neighbor...to make my choices for me!"
Lastly...try a NOTE CARD. "Hi Neighbors! Thank you so much for all of the hospitality that you have shown me in the way of welcoming me and all of the gifts. I have really appreciated the gesture but would like to ask that you no longer bestow such on me!" Make sure you leave it in the evening when the wife will see it. | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:04:51 AM | | I am sorry, with all the advice given to you WHY ARE YOU STILL ACCEPTING ANYTHING FROM THIS MEN???? AND WHAT IS HE DOING IN YOUR HOUSE DUMPING YOUR COFFEE OUT????? You say you have accepted these thing because you don't know what to do? You have been told over and over!!! Do not aceppt anything else old or new. Do not let him into your house. I think you should move beause you to seem to be able to follow/ take all this sound advice you are given. It's going to end up with him having two household right next to each other and you walking around depressed just like his wife! Come on girl, don't let this happen to you or your kids. | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:40:48 AM | | re: dumping your coffee-"and please tell me it was a to-go cup and this happened outside and that he wasn't in your home". | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/9/2008 11:53:11 PM | sounds like he is bored being at home with the kids and wants to spend a little time feeling young and needed by a good looking young lady. all the food stuff was his way of showing off a little and trying to get you to think what a great guy he is.. don't eat anything he gives you, next time just say o thank you but I am on a real tight diet. I mean I don't want to freak you out of anything, or be gross at all, but this guy could have mixed in a little something special in thoses dishes and might be getting off on the fact that your eating it???? I know, but there are some sick people in this world..
sounds to me like you need a boyfriend or just a male friend that will play the part and maybe he will give you some space thinking you have someone and he can't get closer with him around..
you also need to take charge and set rules for him, like if he is beginning to insult you, you should say o hey I don't care for that kind of talk, ok? and be firm with it.
in his mind your alone, he's a lone, why not play a little... don't open this door a little bit or he will force himself in,, each time you spend time or take a gift you are opening that door a little bit more.. be safe.. | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:25:36 AM |
what i say...
WOW u sound like a real winner, maybe u yourself are one of those creeps!! maybe u ar on the sex offenders list by that comment. Anger management may help u!!
as for the creep....I live in langley (pratically your neighbour) invite me over & i will tell him where to go for ya... Just avoid him, best idea. I myself hate confrontation but when it comes to your & your kids saftey grow a set gal.
wow... Fairly brash to assume someone is on a sex offenders list, simply by a comment made.
More knee jerk reaction to commonplace thinking.... No wonder society as a whole is going down hill. | |
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| Crazy Neighbour - help me!
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:10:34 PM | | Dear OP, I don't know if you're around or still listening. I have learned a lot about sociopathic behavior ever since I had a run-in with one a few months ago. You are a sitting target for these kinds of personalities, because you are TOO NICE. For your own good and your own safety, you need to start setting boundaries. If you can't do it here, imagine how hard it will be when you are actually dating someone. You do not owe this guy anything. I would just tell him in a kind way that you are uncomfortable with all the gifts. You can even ask him to step back when he's talking if he's in your space. I don't think you need to be rude, but you probably do need to be direct. If this is something you're not comfortable with, then think of it this way: this guy was put in your path to teach you to set limits. The universe works in mysterious ways! Practice with a friend before you talk to him until you feel more comfortable with it. | |
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