MOS
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 8/22/2005 3:04:26 PM | Thank you Mitch,
I was just thinking the very same thing and I am constantly expressing those same views to others. I am a BBW and I am apparently one of the very few out there who is confident. I like myself and because I carry myself that way, others have always been attracted to me, in both my business and professional life. That's not the first thing they see. I dress well, take care of myself, am active, workout and am very fit for a BBW.
I don't ever feel less than my friends, most of whom are of quote " normal" or "average" size. It really does come from within and therefore that is projected on the outside.
For those of you who are not happy with yourself, no matter your size, do things that make you happy on the inside and things can only change with meeting good people.
Take care,
Debra | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 8/22/2005 3:08:27 PM | I saw a web-site once that was all pics of BBWs breaking furniture.
I was shocked.
Must some fetish or something.
The 400 pound women in my office broke 3 chairs in 2 weeks.
I told her when furniture starts breaking it's time to diet Bernice.
Gregorio | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 8/22/2005 3:12:57 PM | YOU are SOOOOOOOOOO right Mitch.. I use to weigh 260lbs.. most of my relationships where abusive.. well.. thats change.. I took some time to work out the emtional crap that came with the weight... which was a result of my trying to hid myself due to the sexual abuse I suffered as a child..
I'm now down some in weight and feeling great.. and yes i notice that there are guys because i'm still a big girl who flock to me cause they 1. want greencards or 2. want a F'ck buddy.. and I at a point now where if love finds me.. so be it.. if it doesn't I don't need anyone to be complete.. i'm as complete as they come..lol.. and loving life now and living life now makes a big difference..
loved your post cause it is sooooo true.. been there done that. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 8/22/2005 3:37:33 PM | I agree with you Shap.
Just read any weight oriented thread and check the anger from obese women posting.
When we respond they complain to get posts and threads deleted.
Try to make us think we are freaks because we want women our own size or there abouts.
Brett Sabre
shappy
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 1
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Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 6/14/2005 3 56 AM
No this isn't for me as I am a bone rack, but for most out there.
I recieved a message from a girl who thought I was cute, now she was a bit big. So I read the message and didn't really see anything I liked in it as all she could do was state how bored/unhappy she was and was dying for someone to like her.
So I didn't respond, as I didn't really know what to say. So she comes back with another calling me names and such and stating that I am like every other guy on the site " Only out for sex " then she went as far as saying that BBW are better in bed but I would never find out cause I am too shallow.
Now my little question is why is it that some of the bigger girls tend to freak out more at guys when they don't get a responce. Is it that they know they are bigger and know it's harder or do they get their heart broken more often.
I'm not against people of any weight, but I do tend to prefer women my own body weight as I have a messed up spine, and I hate nothing more than a message filled with self-pitty. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 8/22/2005 4:11:12 PM | You are so right my friend! Some of them downright crucify us for wanting women our own size or thereabouts.
We merely state our opinion and preference, and the truth hurts. Then, they complain to ge t the posts and threads deleted. None of that complaining to the mods can make us date them though. So what is the point?
I'm getting used to there being overweight women on these sites. No worries. I meet women offline very easily.
As shappy says, I too "hate nothing nore than a message filled with self-pity." Way too much of that here from certain overweight women.
s_a_b_r_e on 8/22/2005 5 33 PM
Subject: Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Message: I agree with you Shap.
Just read any weight oriented thread and check the anger from obese women posting.
When we respond they complain to get posts and threads deleted.
Try to make us think we are freaks because we want women our own size or there abouts.
Brett Sabre
shappy
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 1
view profile
Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 6/14/2005 356 AM
No this isn't for me as I am a bone rack, but for most out there.
I recieved a message from a girl who thought I was cute, now she was a bit big. So I read the message and didn't really see anything I liked in it as all she could do was state how bored/unhappy she was and was dying for someone to like her.
So I didn't respond, as I didn't really know what to say. So she comes back with another calling me names and such and stating that I am like every other guy on the site " Only out for sex " then she went as far as saying that BBW are better in bed but I would never find out cause I am too shallow.
Now my little question is why is it that some of the bigger girls tend to freak out more at guys when they don't get a responce. Is it that they know they are bigger and know it's harder or do they get their heart broken more often.
I'm not against people of any weight, but I do tend to prefer women my own body weight as I have a messed up spine, and I hate nothing more than a message filled with self-pitty. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:53:41 PM | I agree with Mitch. I am a bbw yet am a pretty happy person  I got an email the other day. The title read, "You're cute" but when I opened it it said, "but you're fat." Well DUH!!! lol. I just replied, "I may be fat but you're ugly and I can diet." Truth is, I lost a lot of weight in the past. I could not go anywhere without getting hit on, phone numbers, etc. Got on my last nerve!!! I do work out and I want to get back into shape but I yam what I yam. My dad was a big guy at times yet my mom is tiny. I know I am smart, funny, have a great heart, and have a LOT to offer the right man. So, yes, guys generally are jerks to us BBW but those who tell it like it is, like myself, and who are sweet but don't let a man walk all over her can handle it. I don't NEED a man in my life, though wouldn't mind it. And I damn sure won't waste my time on one who won't like me for me. Funny thing is, when I am with a guy I generally lose the weight. So he better like me for ME and for nothing else. 
Happy Fishing  | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 1/21/2007 12:23:50 AM | Tiffany,
Just remember that whatever changes you make in your life need to be for your OWN benefit, not for the benefit any man you're trying to attract.
I remember back when I briefly chatted with someone on POF who stated that I would be the type of person she'd go out with if I just shaved off my mustache. I replied that she'd be the type of person I'd go out with if she just had a sense of tact. (keep in mind my mustache is very short and thin)
Be happy with yourself, and say "to Hell with the rest of what the world thinks". You'll find you'll be alot happier in life.
Good luck in your search!
Sincerely, Mitch | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 1/21/2007 5:49:57 PM | I understand how it may be difficult for some to respond to someone who just wants to suck in the sympathy. But try to remember a time in your life where things were not exactly perfect and where you may have been feeling a little on the needy side. I am sure there is not a person on the face of this earth who has not at some point felt vulnerable.
That being said, we do not need to be a sounding board for those who feel the need to instigate sympathetic conversation, but we could at least be human and respond.
If someone came up to you in the street and engaged you in conversation, it would be considered rude not to reply. I think the same gestures of human decency should apply on line.
Simply tell someone, even if you have to LIE about it kindly, that you are not interested.
A kind word will take you much further in life than turning a blind eye.
None of us are perfect, and certainly many of us are not each others matches......
this should not give us the liberty of being rude.
Say hi and no thank you.
Maybe you will feel better about yourself if you do and perhaps it will make you realize your own shortcomings.
It is never a bad thing to reflect upon how we can improve our lives or someone elses.
ctch | |
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mas74
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 36 | |
| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 1/22/2007 1:45:14 PM | I am a big gal myself, and the truth is, sometimes our self esteem gets in the way. I believe if someone doesn't like the way you look, that is their problem not yours. I know alot of guys like the skinny mini's and big honkers, and that is great for them. all i can say is good luck with that.
enjoy life and if a guy really likes you, then he will take the whole package not just looks. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 1/28/2007 3:40:59 PM | | I've dated BBW's, a few extra pounds, etc.....and I enjoyed being with them for the time we dated. Why, you ask?? Because the ones I did dated carried themselves very well, and had great personalities. Not all guys are looking for the proverbial "trophy" woman. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 1/28/2007 4:36:32 PM | | HEY DUDE. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE JUST MAKING UP EXCUSES.I HAVE A BAD BACK TOO. BUT, WHEN IT COMES TO THE BEDROOM THERE ARE WAYS YOU CAN WORK AROUND YOUR BAD BACK AND STILL ENJOY SEX. BEING A BIG PERSON HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! FOR YOU SEE I AM A BIG PERSON ALSO, AND ENJOY SEX TO THE FULLNESS. BAD BACK OR NOT!! SO, YOU NEED TO SCAM SOMEONE ELSE. AS YOU SAID,"YOU" PREFER SMALLER WOMAN, HAVING A BAD BACK KNOWS NO SIZE,BIG OR SMALL, YOU HURT, YOU HURT! | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 1/28/2007 4:45:13 PM | OP - its a tough world out there, doesn't matter if we're old, young, what size we are, what the size of our wallets are, or what our backgrounds are. Each and every one of us experience insecurities in life. The size of our bodies or our wallets don't define us as a person.
At the same token, if we walk around as though we've sucked on lemons our whole lives, or we're angry/bitter, that will define us as a person. It doesn't matter what our physical attributes are, work with what you do have. No one is perfect out there, I don't give a rats ass what the movie screens show, etc. Heck, I could take my photograph and turn my picture into a "10", however, that's not the real me. What I do know about each of us, is we have to be real about ourselves. Until we are real about ourselves and loving towards ourselves, we're going to experience difficulty in hooking up in relationships. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 6/29/2009 3:39:54 PM | your totally right there im a great beliver in if your not happy in your mind ie with yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you.. its a difficult one but you will find once you find inner peace you will shine on the outside.. just had to put into practice sometime
Caroline | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:28:52 PM | | If I message a guy, I'm showing my interest...no harm in that as this IS a dating site. If he's not into me...no big deal. I am a bigger girl, but I'm not going to freak out on someone if they're not interested/don't message back. But I think a common problem on this site for everyone, reguardless of appearances, are read/deleted messages. If I take the time to message someone, I would like a reply back. I always reply when someone messages me, even if I'm not interested...its just common courtesy, you know? | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 6/30/2009 3:58:23 PM | They're clearly just insecure .
Im a Big girl as well but if i dont get a response .. the hell with ya . Your not worth it .
But these girls that go on about what she went on about .. i agree they're annoying . Block and delete the girl , she seems a little crazy , not gonna lie !
A lack of self-esteem isnt hot at all . :/
Apperently this girl has a problem with self-esteem . | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:04:09 PM | Way to go leafyone!!!! You are right, thin, fat, or inbetween...........some people are just labeled for their looks!! We are all human beings, and deserve to be treated as such. But, some people with "attitude" are insecure.
I am overweight. I have chatted with men, on line and on the phone, had them tell me how wonderful I am, then meet and never hear from them again. I have seen the
"look in their eyes". So my solution is this...........before we make arraingements to meet, I invite them to look at my cam. them I let them decide.
I look at it this way, I am an awsome person, kind and loving. One of these days, a man is gonna be able to look inside me, and not at the outside. He is gonna be one lucky man!!  | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:27:56 PM | | Women are visual creatures to0, its just that there arent very many good looking men out there for us to look at! (This could be helped if more men would take a little pride in their appearance) So, women have to settle if they want to be with a guy. Women in general are very insecure about their looks, weight etc. why? you guessed it, the way men percieve the perfect woman in our society. I always said women should have the huge self esteem that men have. I dont believe men when they say that it doesnt matter what a woman looks like as long as she is confident, its all about her looks, of course she will have more confidence if shes good looking and knows that men wont be laughing at her as she walks by. Imagine being a woman in todays society, always having to look like an 18 yr old forever or she is unworthy of being loved according to the media. I could care less if any man doesnt think I'm skinny or young enough, if you dont like it, dont look! Is that confident enough? | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 11/20/2009 1:20:34 AM | | Mitch, you are bang on. It is fantastic to see how well a man really does know and understand a BBW women. Coming from one I certainly know just how bang on you are. And just to add to that, it is not just a problem with BBW. Any women, not matter how nice her body is if she has serious self-esteem issues for what ever reason, she too almost always attracts that exact type of guy. Negative people will always attract negative people as positive people do not like being around negative people its as simple as that. It's just that when you have struggled with the weight thing we tend to think it is only us fat ones that have this problem but believe me it is not true. It is what is in your head that determines how your life is. The only advise I would give this lady is to suggest that she does not make the first approach. that is something I learned in the early days was the rejection is the hardest thing to deal with on these dating sites, so I stopped doing that so it would stop the feelings of rejection and it really helped. Just wait until guys contact you, and the 2nd thing is don't talk about negative things like how unhappy you are etc, it is the fastest way to send a guy running in the opposite direction. One las thing I suggest to you is, join a few BBW sites then you don't have to deal with the weight thing but that doesn't mean the rejection will stop but you at least know it is not because of your weight as the guys that are in those sites all loveBBW. Work on yourself, its hard and never ending and a very slow process but every little bit is worth the hard work, honest. Please let there be more Mitch's in this world. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 11/20/2009 5:31:48 PM |
So she comes back with another calling me names and such and stating that I am like every other guy on the site " Only out for sex " then she went as far as saying that BBW are better in bed but I would never find out cause I am too shallow.
Dude, tell that whale to go get herself a bowl of ice cream. There is absolutely nothing sexy about obesity. It's unhealthy, and they know it, but instead of doing something about it they yearn for acceptance. | |
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| Over-weight and unhappy a question for the Broken hearted
Posted: 11/20/2009 8:27:03 PM | Humans have this awful habit of externalizing their own issues and weaknesses or displacing it otherwise.
I'm sure some large people turn their own self loathing and even hatred onto someone that they perceive has rejected them. They simply can't blame themselves! | |
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