| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/4/2008 6:32:32 PM | Oh my god!!! All these years I thought I was a girl...
Turns out I must be a man. 
Because I'm the same way. B*tch to me about something and I will try to fix it.  I can't help it, I swear. Problem solving is what I live and breathe to do, I think.
Plus...I can only listen to someone b*tch about something for SO long without saying shut up or do something to fix it! Seriously. I can do the empathic listening for a good while if I think that's what he or she really wants. But after a few months of whining about never having money or having too big of a mortgage payment or this that and the other...I have to try to help. And if they blow off my help or don't do anythign about it on their own? I'm gonna be real tempted to tell them to go b*tch to someone else for awhile. 
Drives me nuts. But that's just me...I consider it the "N" in my ENTJ temperament, actually...the outside the box thinking..that makes me want to problem solve.
And yes, I would have offered to pick it up in my town for ya also...why not? You had a problem, I had an easy solution. Why bit8ch about it if you don't want help?
Kaylie | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:56:04 PM | | yes i have to fix it. its that or i break it and fix it. its probably why u said whoa, this dude is scarey. perhaps i am, i dont know | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:05:28 PM | | i think they find it a waste of their time to have to listen to it, and not do anything about it. | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/5/2008 5:19:42 AM |
If you don't want a solution, then stop complaining about stuff. Simple solution right there.
Here's one that I used with some degree of success to stop the excess complaining: "If you have the energy to complain about the problem, you have the energy to fix the problem." | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/5/2008 8:50:10 AM | There are some great responses here, especially from AlligatorAlley.
I suppose a woman such as yourself could try to be up front and preface her one-sided conversations with, "Just listen - I don't need advice, I don't need you to fix anything, and I might not even need a response from you". Accurate as that might be, it wouldn't guarantee much of an audience now, would it? | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/5/2008 11:30:36 AM | | OP, your friend sounds like he was just trying to be helpful. How would you have preferred him to reply to your statements?: "....uh, cool" / ".....*cough*......." / ".....so....how about those oil prices?". | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:23:39 AM | | Isn't it okay if someone just wants to vent and aren't necessarily searching for a solution. Often, we are very well aware of the solutions to our problems and just need some encouragement-not a handyman list of things to do to fix ourselves. If I want advice, I will clearly ask for it-otherwise keep it zipped | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:34:24 AM | | Yes, men are somewhat pre-determined to fix things whether it be tinkering with a car or another one's problems. I used to do that with my second wife, she would come home from work and start talking and I would,"did you try. . ." or" why don't you do this next time'. I went to a seminar on communication and the speaker basically said, women don't wnat you to tell them what they should or should've done they just want a ear that will listen to them. I tried that next time and she poured her heart and souls to me. As Dr. Phil often says, "Men don't get it, but we are trainable" | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/12/2008 12:50:58 PM | If we fix it you might shut-up...(I just could resist, even knowing how dearly I'm gonna pay for it. Ah heck, I'm catching the wrath of a redhead so I might as well go for broke) So what you saying is you would prefer we just nod & make guttural noises...OK
Both sexes do it...start telling woman about a problem and a guy will get a lot of "fixes" from the woman. It's human nature. If we give a rip, we tend to try and help/fix instead of just listening. Heck, even if we don't give a rip we tend to try and help/fix, the forums are a perfect example of that. Go post a question on "Ask a Girl" and you'll get no shortage of "help". All the woman there can't just sit back and listen, letting you talk thru your problem and just "get it off your chest"....Noooo....they all have to jump in and give help/fixes/advice. | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:37:27 PM |
If we fix it you might shut-up... Maybe not... 
I just could resist, even knowing how dearly I'm gonna pay for it. Ah heck, I'm catching the wrath of a redhead so I might as well go for broke C'mon... I'm as docile as a lamb...
So what you saying is you would prefer we just nod & make guttural noises...OK Please and Thank-you. 
Noooo....they all have to jump in and give help/fixes/advice. From what I've seen we rip the guy to shreds... if that helps, all the power to him...  | |
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| Do you really have to fix it?
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:48:37 PM | Maybe not...
 "mmm-ummm"
C'mon... I'm as docile as a lamb...
"mmm..."
Please and Thank-you.
"hummmm..." | |
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