| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:22:54 AM | What a nightmare this must be for you. I just don't know what I would do if an attractive and intelligent man was calling and texting me. Where would the horror end? Who knows I might have to look at his attractive face in person, and then have intellegent conversation with him in person.
How would I really handle it if a man I found attractive and intelligent were texting and calling me a lot? I would smile a lot, and think about seeing him in person.
Poor baby, I hope no more bad things happen to you, like winning 200 trillion tax free dollars in the lottery. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/10/2008 1:44:55 PM | There's nothing I hate more than incessant talking on the phone or chatting/texting. Then again, I used to do tech support and had to be on the phone for 8 hours a day, so you can imagine what my attitude towards long phone conversations is like.
Nowadays continuous texting seems to be the in-thing for the young crowd. Give it 5 years and it will be out of style. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/11/2008 12:45:08 AM | | Nut Job! Run as fast as you can, I don't care how good looking or what a great body they have, how good they are in bed..........run!................that's my take from personal experience. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/11/2008 5:54:58 AM | | do not walk away from this situation, but RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! no self respecting normal woman does that. ever. | |
|
| |
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/11/2008 2:28:21 PM |
Please explain this to me. I recently met someone and we had a pleasant night. Since then the texting and phone calls have been incessant
1) Don't people know about smothering others when one is over 30 years of age? Especially after just one encounter! The individual is attractive, intelligent, and independent. Is it possible that they haven't developed the proper relation skills in this area?
Please redefine independent, lol…
mmm…
- As bcsofnc57 pointed out, to be put on the spot by someone attractive and intelligent cannot be that unbearable…
– We all have different expectations from a first date…I would be inclined to agree with the majority, with you obviously: this is not the type of behaviour I am accustomed to.
We do not need that much reassurance (to cover the self esteem topic), especially after one date.
A text message, a phone call after the date is enough – To be contacted within 3 days for further arrangements is acceptable.
- Some do put more emphasize on relationships than others, so much so that it is vital for them to function, basically.
Ok, it may be linked to a lack of self esteem, a lack of maturity, but I think it might be something totally different.
They need that level of constant communication, and find it perfectly acceptable.
(They might be perfectly balanced, relatively smart and quite independent in others aspect of their life)
2) How do you handle these individuals?
You don’t…
They have to find someone on the same level –
They may belong to a minority, we might be wrong –
Maybe this is another dimension of relationship we are not aware of, have not explored yet, or do not require.
Basically, let her know you can’t handle the constant strain it puts on you.
Find someone who thinks along the same lines as you do –
We can’t change people… they change if they want to – Some never do…
All we can do is accept them for who they are -
This is clearly not meant to be –
Best of luck though :) | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:08:37 PM | First, I would try to control and manage it.
She obviously has strong emotions and feelings for you. Who knows what all transpired on that first date. Most everybody has had those dates where everything heated up quickly and we've broken from our norm. The day after reflections can sometimes be a bit nerve-racking to some. Especially if you've been in that boat before and saw it sink.
If you like her and would, otherwise, continue to see her, then talk to her. Tell her to slow down, mellow out, and try to pace herself. If you want it to last, then there is all the time in the world. Tell her that there is no expiration date. Therefore, she need not feel like she has to get as much as she possibly can in, within a certain time frame. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:42:38 PM | | i agree... i met a girl on here, i wont mention any names but she was tall, slim, blonde and lived in ipswich,lol. she would text and call every day about 5-10 times. i met her twice and it was just to much... i explained she needed to back off, but she didnt listen... insecurity comes to mind. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/11/2008 5:46:02 PM | | Yes, neediness. Too much. Inform her it's too much if you like her; if you don't like her, tell her you are no longer interested. I don't think being over 30 has anything to do with it. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/12/2008 12:15:10 PM | I'm not a phone person, I only phone people if I have a reason to, or I haven't talked to them in a very long time. The best thing to do if you haven't already OP is tell her you had a good time, thank her, but you don't think she is your match. Dismiss politely and move on. Find a way to block her number and lose touch. Best thing to do imo.
Stalkers are not needy or insecure, more than likely have some mental disability or something else wrong...I know some needy people but they don't call me 10 times a day...that's just insane.
I had one girl ask me long ago, "when does it become stalking? How many times a day do you have to call a person for it to be considered stalking?" My response was simply, "If you have to ask, chances are you're already considered a stalker." | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:30:25 PM | | Don't you just tell them you're not interested, and ask them to stop? Is she calling incessantly because you're not picking up? Or is she misinterpreting your polite replies as continued interest? Just be straight up. Simple, neat, fast. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:35:49 AM | bcsofnc57: "What a nightmare this must be for you. I just don't know what I would do if an attractive and intelligent man was calling and texting me. Where would the horror end? Who knows I might have to look at his attractive face in person, and then have intellegent conversation with him in person.
How would I really handle it if a man I found attractive and intelligent were texting and calling me a lot? I would smile a lot, and think about seeing him in person.
Poor baby, I hope no more bad things happen to you, like winning 200 trillion tax free dollars in the lottery."
ROFLMFAO
 | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:37:18 AM | You "run the other way" guys are ****ing morons... honestly... let the girl overflow with joy for crying out aloud... she's got puppy love - it's cute...
I got news for yas, "we're ALL needy"... there are 3 stages of maturity
1 - counter-dependence
2 - independence
3 - interdependence (ie. we NEED other people to choose)
why you all stuck at level 2 being petrified of neediness...
a person's desire to communicate/be-with another isn't necessarily an indication of level 1. It may simply be an expression of joy.
If it is, then aren't you the d!ck for running the other way. "Yeah, run away from happiness"... Shame on you pathetically petrified people. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:01:20 AM | MrSnapHappy: I would tend to disagree with your assessment of interdependence.
In my view, interdependence is allowing oneself to become vulnerable to another and to better fulfill some need than the other person could fulfill themself. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:25:20 PM | SharkBait, that's fine. I'm not sure that my idea differs all that much, but the semantics are not important.
What's important is having a more caring attitude to others and not crushing enthusiasm. Dear God! it's not that hard! No great intellect required. In fact, the less damn intellect, the better. | |
|
| |
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/16/2008 2:34:56 PM |
BUNNY BOILER !!!!!!!! men need mothering not smothering !!!!!!!!!!!
Men need mothering? lol - I aint no mommy! sorry! | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/16/2008 2:47:54 PM | | I must be an old guy, b/c I don't text at all , but I believe that each of us need our space. We're not kids, we have lives, jobs, kids of our own (in many cases), and there needs to be parameters. Have you tried explaining that to the individual? And if that is the person's personality, maybe they are just too needy. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/16/2008 5:45:23 PM | just me but Id take this as " hey shes interested in hanging out more and getting to know me better"
dont ASS-U-ME that there is personality weakness or some such bs..
Most of the people I know are very communicative. to me this is an effort for "communication" hey! isnt that something important in a potential relationship?
If you want to run everytime someone wants to talk to you and get to know you why waste your time on a dating site? | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:39:12 PM | Its kind of unfair to judge the girl. People are making judgements based on 1 side of the situation and only a couple of vague comments made by this person.
I just had a episode that lasted a couple of days. Someone from another state sent me a email and we got into a email conversation. Based on whose side you listen too you would say the other was a nut case. She claimed I was emailing too much and she felt obligated to return my emails, I then replied the same, I was also just responding to her emails. I could go on but I don't want to continue to talk bad about another person in this forum, but my point is depending on who you are listening too me or her you will get a different story. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 9/17/2008 9:27:33 AM | "men need mothering not smothering !"
dude, I'd be staying away from "truisms" that rhyme if I was you... | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:45:14 PM | | Call the cops, report a stalker, get an order of protection. Buy a gun, learn to use it. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/4/2008 3:13:19 AM | from some of the statements on here there are a few women who would be willing to let you hide out with them if you wanted to.
She could be needy, smothering or really really wants you because you are the best fish she has seen in a very long time.
How do you handle this simple tell her to stop calling you. Then dont pick up the phone when she calls. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/4/2008 11:58:22 AM | I still haven't seen a reply (unless I missed it!) stating what you consider incessant...
two or three texts? one or two calls?
What I'm interested in is, did you respond to those texts? Because if you did, she may have thought you were having a conversation and then continued texting because you continued replying. If this is the case, next time just text back, sorry I'm busy right now, we'll talk later on :)
Some people just simply do a lot of texting, expecially if they have unlimited texting on their phones... For myself, if someone texts me a lot, I have no problem replying if I have my phone with me and am not particularly busy. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/4/2008 5:41:19 PM |
In my view, interdependence is allowing oneself to become vulnerable to another and to better fulfill some need than the other person could fulfill themself.
You can not get truly close to another person without allowing yourself to become vulnerable to them. Interdependence is how a man and a woman are meant to be together. So yes your view is correct and it is a good thing.
As to the original post, I would not have any problems with a man texting or calling me several times a day.
If everyone would stop worrying so much about being so independent and would allow themselves to be vulnerable to others there would be no need for dating sites. | |
|
Home
login 
