| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:40:36 PM | It is another form of communication but shouldn't be used as a means of control which it often is. Simple chit chat and getting to know the person is one thing,but if you are constantly checking up on them with it that's just extreme. I always believe if a person calls me, it's a good time for them,but may not be for me, so I will do my best to communicate, but at my pace and not drop everything for them. Of course, it is a big thing, emergency, or directions, etc, that's different. But I am on the side of we expect people to be at our disposal too much and ruin the beauty of a first meeting, date, whatever. Let the person get a chance to wonder about you or maybe even miss you, for goodness sakes! LOL
Still, once nice text after the meet saying you had a good time, if you truly did, and a compliment to them is a good idea. Use the communication in a positive way, don't abuse it.
M | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:29:42 AM | | Thats why I don't have a cell phone. When I had one everyone was always texting and calling me it wasn't just relationships but family and friends too. I never knew how people had the time to do that all day because it interferred with work and everything. I found it much better to just go without it and have the good ole land line and answering machine lol. | |
|
| |
| |
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/7/2008 11:48:39 AM | I agree with Mary Freakin Poppins - did you even bother to tell the individual to go away? or that you were getting freaked out about it? how about just plain old opening your mouth and saying you dont want to talk instead of just ignoring this person? telling someone to go away usually works - not saying so gets you what you got....
deal with it or handle it - your choice | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/7/2008 1:28:16 PM | Calling anyone more than twice in a road without a response it a surefire way to come across as annoying, pushy and even manipulative.
Some people might be busy, some might not have the same timing than yours in terms of how often to stay in touch, and some might even not want to call you back. Whatever it is, those avid communicators should learn that they cannot force others to jump on their often contact beat train.
The best way to handle it is to be blunt but with tact. Gotta keep in mind that those with such poor social skills might also not be running on all four cylinders when it comes to gracefully taking a letdown. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 10/9/2008 9:19:36 PM | One of the things that contributed to the end of my marriage was her incessant calling, insincere I love you messages and random texting. Technology is great but I prefer a woman who has this stuff under control. I love meeting for lunches eye to eye. I believe in studying the opposite sex, learning all about the partner your with and leaving cell phones at home several times a week. One of the things that really ticked her off.
How do you handle people who do this? If you just met them, change the number. If you love them but can't live with them, have them seek therapy. You can't make excuses for attractive people so you have to weight the intelligence thing. I'm a big proponent of independent actions but it doesn't seem that this problem of yours is independent at all. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:52:57 PM | Hate to burst your ego.. but shes possibly using the whole texting thing out of boredom while at work or during the day.
If she has a blackberry... all people with blackberrys text ... anything really.
Chatting on this site.. you send messages.. and retrieve.. so to some texting is no different.
but then theirs the people who HAVE to assume their being stalked..
Until someone shows up at your door, or is parked across the street, be happy you have someone who thinks your the sh*t! and who doesnt know your on a worldwide forum telling people shes a nutbar.
makes one wonder "why" the texts are annoying you.. or possibly who else will hear all your texts your getting.. wife, gf, or another date?
gotcha. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:36:11 PM | Oh my God! I can't even count how many times this has happened to me. Some people are just so dang clingy and lonely that they think the person they are dating is just the same. But the truth is "I hate to be smothered". Give me my space and let me be my own person! I always say, "absense makes the heart grow founder. And desperate people need to learn how to calm down and love themselves first! | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:28:40 AM | | Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. I have foun that some women prefer to talk a couple times a week and some like to talk a couple times a day. Sounds like shes not the 1 for you. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:48:17 AM | | People do not know the difference unless you TELL THEM. And, if you were doing it to start off with, some people may not see it as an issue. Why not just say something? It is not about relations...it is about the other party not getting off their ass and just saying "stop it". How do I handle them? Easy. Say "stop it". | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/7/2009 3:49:03 PM | "Incessant" would be easily defined by excessive. If she's trying harder to interact than you are, it's incessant.
Once you respond, however, you validate her efforts so it's no longer considered incessant: you merely teach her how long it takes to get hold of you. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/8/2009 7:41:48 AM | | I know exactly what you mean... there was one guy i met here and the calls and texts never stopped. Even after I told him I wasnt interested. Shitty thing is you cant block them from calling or texting the cell.... ignore button comes in some handy though... | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/8/2009 8:12:54 AM | Non stop calls and texts are annoying but I do agree that in the getting to know each other stage it can be nice to text/call between dates. It can be hard sometimes to show interest but not too much.
My last 2 experiences of relationships have been seeing how each others day went but otherwise being really independent in between meeting up.
If someone says stop tho, its weird to continue, defo. If a girl is texting a guy more than they are comfy with or vice versa then a quick convo can easily rectify things.
I had one guy off here call me at 2am and think that was ok. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:53:01 PM | | I've had to ask a guy nicely to stop texting me so much. He didn't listen, so I had my phone turned off for hours at a time. When I turned it back on, there would be 30 text messages (no joke!) Then, I finally changed my number and wrote him off completely. I hope this girl doesn't know where you live. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:03:23 PM | | File a restraining order. LOL. No, seriously, just make a concerted effort once to tell them that it's not appropriate to be stalkerish, and then if that doesn't work, put a block on their number. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/8/2009 10:57:51 PM | | One person's clinginess is another person's normal behavior. It's really more a matter of compatibility than anything else. If one person needs a lot more personal space than another in a relationship, then the two simply aren't compatible. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/8/2009 11:11:57 PM | Change your number. My god...after one pleasant night? You've got to be kidding me.
Ask them if being needy has always been a problem for them or is it something new they are trying? I had a boyfriend like that. Always blowing up my phone ...with incessant messaging. Especially if I couldnt answer back right away...it would get progressively worse...from Hi how you doing to...where you at you whore.
Obviously not too intelligent that they don't know the meaning of smothering ...and I'm telling you if it's this bad now...can you imagine what it will be like later???
RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
It will never work. You will start looking at your phone like it 's a DOG LEASH..
Run like hell and don't look back. If you're thinking they are independent...look again?
Seems pretty needy to be constantly bugging someone you hardly know right?? | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:23:57 AM | I would have to know the full story.. I had a guy on here that I had dated for awhile and the texting was from him constantly at first and even met each others parents and everything. He even told my Mom that if this Relationship was going to stop it would have to be Me to stop it, because He was in this for the long hall.. Even taught me what 8-3-1 meant and said it before I did.. We texted everyday.. Which I am old School I guess, I would rather Talk on the Phone I feel that it is much more personable.. But, texting is the new age.. We have a few disagreements and yes I did text him how I felt when I was upset and even msg'd him here... Then it seemed as thou the tables turned and it was me seeming as the crazy one.. Just because I wanted answers..So, we started talking again as friends and then close encounters and feeling happend again but this time it was different no more 8-3-1's just kinda keeping me on a string. It is not fair to play with someones heart and then just leave them flat... If you are over 30 it is time to grow up and treat people how you would want to be treated yourself..
I think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel so that she can just move on !!! Or, maybe it is just a bunch of miscommunication..
I would like to know what all you said to her too.. It does make a big difference.. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:38:07 AM | | OP, is that what you want from a partner? Its all up to you really. I would put an end to it right away. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:56:11 PM | The last two men I dated were just like this. Calling and texting daily after just one date. And not just to get information, but with things like, "Good morning sweetheart, hope you have a wonderful day!"
I suppose in some worlds this is considered very sweet, but after one date, I feel like this is extremely creepy and the man always comes across to me as too needy.
Whatever happened to the days when a "daily phone call" was the way to distinguish someone you're just dating from someone you're in a relationship with? (Anyone else out there see this Seinfeld episode?) | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:11:33 AM | Please explain this to me. I recently met someone and we had a pleasant night. Since then the texting and phone calls have been incessant
1) Don't people know about smothering others when one is over 30 years of age? Especially after just one encounter! The individual is attractive, intelligent, and independent. Is it possible that they haven't developed the proper relation skills in this area?
2) How do you handle these individuals?
For heaven's sake, she is probably just full of coffee - it happens. How long has she been bothering you? And most importantly, are you replying? A normal person will back off without any feedback, someone with a screw loose will become more insistent.
Or, worst case, just tell her you feel overwhelmed and need some space - not a big deal. Everyone runs at a different speed, clashes are inevitable, part of having so much instant gratification available.
And some people are total text maniacs - drives me completely insane. However, I drive others insane with my e-mail habits, so it all works out in the end. Give and take. If you like her, relax and make a joke out of it - I do incredibly stupid things when I am nervous, and forgiveness goes a very long way to helping me relax and calm the h*ll down :) She just might be worth the effort. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:55:35 PM | Perhaps if you would have replied to her first e-mail/text and been upfront about how you are feeling, the incessant e-mails would have ceased. It is difficult to answer your question because you don't state whether you may have
a. led her on by words or actions (eg. make any false promises)
b. answered any of her texts/e-mails
c. if it was an "intimate" pleasant night, her views may be different than yours (whatever your view may be)
As far "handling individuals like this", you must decide if you are still interested in pursuing her at all. If you are, you need to set boundaries of what is acceptable communication; if you are not, you need to give closure to the situation....preferably in a kind way.
 | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:34:50 AM | There is a line from Valentine's Day's movie "He's Just Not That Into You" that I think some abide by...
"I reserve the right to call them at fifteen minute intervals until they pick up. But if they look at the number and see that it's me, they're going to think I'm some kind of stalker. And I'm not... clearly".
I've been the recipient of that on more than one occasion, one lasting a year and a half with up to 30 calls a day all hours that escalated, it got pretty scary.
When a person does the continued call hang up call hang up more than six times a day, combined with the multiple emails, and I have already expressed that I don't have tons of time to talk and will call back when I am free and they continue to keep calling repeatedly, insist on talking for hours when I do answer and hang up and call back when I can't repeatedly, day and night; filling my phone history and interrupting meetings, sleep, time with my kids, calling day time to literally 3:30 in the morning, I recognize that I am not a good fit for that person and I quit answering the phone or emails, literaly nothing else works. Text doesn't bother me since it takes a few seconds and can be done when I get a chance to, but the ringing phone constantly gets jarring after a while when a person won't cool it on calling, and keeps calling and hanging up.
But sometimes it takes months to years to have them stop calling. But yours could be way different.
As for your first question, it smothers people of any age; regardless of ANY encounter.. but in your case, from the way you described the person, it sounds like they were pretty into you and apparently are wanting to stay close, though way closer than maybe is comfortable.
Don't respond to the text instantaneously, tell her you'll call her instead of the other way around if she is out of controll calling, and see if she can cool it a little. She might not realize she's quite so out of control; but she might be someone who is EXTREMELY um, locked in when she sets her sights on someone.
Give her a chance, but understand some people are obsessive, and literally can't help themselves. Hopefully she will not be one of them. :)
Very best of luck :)
. | |
|
| Nonstop calling and texting
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:30:15 AM | Y'know, just because I have Verizon's free texting to any Verizon customers phone, doesn't mean you have to text me 100 times a day and say 'well, it's free you should use it more often' when I complain.
ugh. what happened to the 1-2 calls/texts a day limit after the first date?
lol. coming off as if your my betrothed after date 1 will make me run away!
 | |
|
Home
login 
ya it makes you want to leave your phone at home....
