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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:34:42 PM |
Would it be fair to include in a prenuptial that your spouse has to maintain physical health and physique?
I've seen many married women that "let themselves go" right after marriage. It is unreasonable to request in a prenuptial that your wife stays within a certain weight range, and if not, it is grounds for divorce without having to give her half of everything?
I've heard that some people do this. Do their marriage last longer generally? Somehow I think it would facilitate a longer more fulfilling marriage .
More and more prenups are coming equipped with this clause in it. Some limited to one party, some to affect both parties. I don't know why everyone sees it as unreasonable or offensive. It's reality. How many court cases do you hear where they divorced based on the grounds of "loss of intimacy and marital responsibilities"? That's right, they view sex (more often than not hinged on looks) as a "responsibility" or "duty" or "obligation". Yet, no one seems willing to make a big issue outta that? Why not? It's the same thing, in a different color.
For the most part, these types of clauses will typically only affect the affluent members of society, and not us, the common folk. So don't get too riled up.
When Sugar Daddy meets Pretty Face, it's about status and profile. Of COURSE there's gonna be some caveat that she maintain herself at all times. He didn't marry her 'cause he "loved" her, get real. She didn't marry for love either. He married for someone pretty to be seen on his arm at functions and in front of the cameras, and she married for money and status. Wouldn't make much sense to marry Pretty Face at 20, and by 25 she already needs "work" done on her, now would it?
For the ones that still marry for love, clauses like this will likely never be an issue, even if there's a prenup involved, because A) we DID marry for love, and B) we live in this place called the real world. The prenup itself (for those) is designed more for protection of financial assets as opposed to protecting one's public image.
The affluent do it because...they can. And they know it.
Unless you plan on, or think you can marry someone of vast riches, I wouldn't worry about it as much as some have.
Just my thoughts.
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:39:16 PM | Ok, woman have babies and some do get out of shape.. genics can play a role in this. Okay you men shall we put a clause in it that says, don't get bald or if you cannot get it up then we are out of there. Prostrate chance ... I am gone. And make sure you keep working out. Men get saggy skin and pot bellies, bony legs.. .need I go on?
Try love and encouragement. We both have issues and we are both real people.
Reasonable?? HELL NO! In fact a real iodiot ask the question. If you feel you have the right to ask it make sure she has the right to ask much of you.
I don't think it says much about love but you do have the right to ask. Just be very ready for her to ask much of you. | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:54:00 PM |
Seriously though, when a woman gets into an accident and becomes disfigured, most men leave the marriage.
HUH!?? What men do this??
I'm sorry, but your posts are completely MORONIC!
Unbelievable... | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:04:00 PM | I'm so glad there are so many men avoiding marriage. They should, if it means nothing more than a piece of paper and they feel the need to be "protected" from the shallow, sex-hating, money-grubbing group of women they're apparently attracted to.
Remain single. | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:04:36 PM | LOL My ex told me he would divorce me if I ever got fat. Many years later, he is the one who is out of shape 
Prenups seem sensible for marriage to me, but nobody can predict what time will do to their physical condition. | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:17:51 PM | It is true, a lot of men can't perform sexually beyond the age of 35 and therefore women should seek a prenuptial that includes lack of sexual compatability. Many couch potatoes out there.........they get fat, don't wash and have poor personal hygiene, go bald, are uncaring fathers and haven't a clue how to take care of their children, can't hold a job, can't cook or clean or fix anything around the house and whine so much that all the neighbors want to give him some cheese with his constant whining.
Ladies, your probably better off with a dog. At least you know what your getting and they are a lot less trouble. JMO  | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:56:11 PM | I think it's a little odd, but what the heck.
One could also look at it this way.
If I'm signing onto to a legal contract to honor, love and cherish, and never to have sex with anyone else...ever, I'd greatly appreciate it if she stays somewhat close to the person I entered that contract with.
Whether she puts on another 200#'s or turns into some ethically challenged psycho, she's very much not the person I signed on with. Stuff happens, things change, but y'know, lets try to be reasonable here.
Same could go the other way. I know quite a few guys who prefer larger women. I'm kinda thinking they'd appreciate the wife staying nicely plump. Who knows? | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:06:24 PM | Well Gapeman. There are a lot of reasons that a body can change. I figure that you mean gainig weight, because you said let themselves go. But what if the person lost an arm or leg? Would that be justified? I mean it is a physical change, isnt it? What if they got burned in a fire, or had a stroke, those would change the physical appearance too, right? So, would you divorce? So what if she gained some weight, are you sure having kids or dealing with an azzhole husband that would put weight gain in the prenup, arent the reason it happened? My grandfather lost his the use of his legs and couldnt have sex anymore do you know that my granny never once talked divorce. Thats a marrige. But I dont figure, with love like that, that they would sign a prenup anyway. Oh and just a thought, if the man I was with put that in the prenup, trust and believe that there would be a line about erectile dysfunction. "Better Keep it up" Or youll be the one getting the ax. And I believe dealing with a limp noodle deserves half of everything "LADIES" | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 11:28:54 PM | I giggled like a school girl reading this. I'd sign a prenup regarding money, property and assets held prior to the wedding but I would never, ever sign a prenup that says I cannot become ill or gain weight. You are suppose to love someone for who they are as a person. It is not, I love you if you color your hair this way, if you dress this way, weight this much etc.
People get sick, men get bald, men and women gain weight, that is a fact of life and if you are not willing to accept this then you are a person who should be in a relationship, let alone enter into a marriage.
Funny how it usually is the clause for women to keep themselves up and not usually the other way around.
~Carrie | |
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Kixxie
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Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 62 | |
| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:09:37 AM | | Oh dear God I thought I'd heard it all. Thanks for re-assuring me that there are still shallow men out there that expect a certain body size for life. What if YOU gain weight......does she get everything then? Holy hell being single has it's perks. I'm not fat by any stretch of the imagination.......but to sign a pre-nup stating that if I were to get sick.....and God forbid......gain some weight without being able to lose it...I'd end up divorced? The hell with getting half of everything......just knowing that a man would be that self centered that he would divorce someone for gaining 20 pounds.....no matter what a wonderful life they'd had between them prior to that..... would deter me from even dating the man much less marrying him........never mind the pre-nup. | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:17:19 AM | Funny! I've seen women who get married and have children that look better than the men they married. After a baby is born, women usually lose the weight they gained, however most men who have gained weight due to laziness or drinking don't. If you love someone, you love them as they are. I'm not saying that physical attraction is not important, but peoples bodies go thru changes as we age. If you are in love, you embrace those changes. Does that give one in the relationship the right to just let themselves go? NO! but if you are keeping them happy, they will feel good about themselves and usually take care of their bodies.
Amazing though. Women are the ones who have to carry the babies, so at least they have an excuse for their changing bodies. What excuse do men have? Give me a break!! lol | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:23:38 AM | What about adding these clauses to the prenup:
When we got married, he had a full head of beautiful hair, now its receding or totally gone. I want to divorce him because he is losing his hair.
OMG, he didn't have back hair when we married, now he looks like a gorilla...I didn't agree for him to look like this
He has man boobs. I don't want to share my bras
He wasn't on blood pressure pills when we got married, thats it, I want out!!
Glasses? I can't be seen with a man who wears glasses. He looks like a geek now.
Wrinkles? He looks so old, I feel like people are looking at me like I'm married to my dad. | |
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D_lily
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Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 66 | |
| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 3:04:24 AM | yeah, i'm here to sign up for the fitness prenup? That is so romantic. 
But on the other hand I can understand to a point how you feel. I would be more concerned about the issues of health and well being, not body image. The only thing I can suggest is to try to find someone that may have a lifelong atheletic impulse of their own, and join them in the exercise.
There is no better way to tell someone you care about them than to take care of yourself, it cuts down on worry and stress. Exercise also makes you feel better mentally.
There are never any guarentees. Things could happen, most of all, just find someone you truly enjoy being around and having as a companion. Real love has to make adjustments to all of lifes "curves"
Best wishes. And have a gift certificate to a spa with the prenup! | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 10:43:40 AM |
.....and I've seen even more men "let themselves go" whether they are married or not!
Absolutely. OP, have you ever discussed your fear of women "who let themselves go" after marriage with your intended? I have a feeling that this is a hidden agenda. If you really feel this way, I don't see you as marriage or relationship material. Good luck.  | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 10:47:41 AM | | Well men also let themselves go too, big fat beer guts and 100 pounds heavier then when they met their partner. But the difference is that women love with their hearts not their eyes. Do not put some poor woman through your warped sense of self . Never get married. | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:25:44 PM | | Hmmmm not reasonable or sane BUT should she agree I would hope she'd put the same restrictions on you then add must maintain facial hair, hair length, arm and chest size, put in a no illness clause, make sure you work 40+ hours a week, drive a certain car, live in a certain house, make XX amount of money and I'll stop now b/c I'm feeling dizzy - wait is that grounds for divorce?????? | |
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Kra961
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Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 70 | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:38:38 PM | | G. Ohara, msg 31, thx for the courage to respond as you did. It indeed is the age of NO personal responsibility, its always someone elses fault. Reducing things to the simplest equation most divorces probably happen because both parties ease up in the responsibility of maintaining their images (whatever they were) that attracted the couple together in the first place. They therefore become persons that the other did not marry and a partner finally decides to end the relationship. For those that advocate that the OP not marry and then just walk away whenever it suits him with no repercussions that would require a pre-nup , in addition to being cold-hearted in reality that is difficult to do. If they cohabit most states consider that similar to marraige and everything is subject to the rules of divorce. His pre-nup condition may seem shallow to most of us but at least it would be plainly stated and his (potential) mate at least made aware of the rules. The title asks whether its reasonable. The purpose of a pre-nup is to openly state the rules of a possible future event (splitting up) where partners agree to follow the pre-set rules. In that sense yes it is reasonable because everyone knows the expectations . Pre-nups in many ways are nifty things because they can provide a set of rules of operation "in-the-event-of". This can be a comfort, a plan, and a deflector of high drama and stress during times of major emotional upheaval. . A similar device is the "Advanced Directive" that many people sign that directs health-care workers not to prolong life-sustaining efforts if a person has basically reached a vegatative state. Life is a complex journey and there are no real guarantees of a happy, contented, challenge- free existence. One has to be able to adapt to unexpected setbacks and adversity and recover. Signing pieces of paper are just attempts at making life more predictable. | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:50:25 PM | | for those that keep mentioning equally shallow things the woman should put in the pre-nup,,,,,,,,,one of the "rules" of an enforceable pre-nup is that both parties be represented by legal counsel. Believe me the womans lawyer would make sure that it is tit-for-tat on clauses and conditions or he would recommend she not sign the pesky thing. The bottom line is if you dont like , or arent willing to abide by the rules laid out in a pre-nup,,,,,,,,,then do not sign it. | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:56:44 PM | | Hey, if you can find a way to have babies without stretchmarks, breastfeed without loosing a little firmness, age without gravity's action, eliminate breast cancer, guarantee no disfiguring accidents, let us all in on that, OK? | |
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| Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:59:21 PM |
Somehow I think it would facilitate a longer more fulfilling marriage .
My God! are you kidding? Sounds like a marriage based on shallow grounds. In fact, I'm not a fan of prenups of any kind...except for one. Who is the actress who had a prenup that stated if her husband ever cheated he owed her a million dollars? That one is worth signing. | |
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