| | OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???Page 3 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) |
I don't like the whole "label" thing either, and I don't really like getting into who someone is. I usually try and avoid taking them to places where this happens to begin with, but if I have to, I intro them by name.
EUREKA, someone who knows exactly what I'm talking about. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/13/2008 4:11:19 PM |
I don't like the whole "label" thing either, and I don't really like getting into who someone is. I usually try and avoid taking them to places where this happens to begin with, but if I have to, I intro them by name.
EUREKA, someone who knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Really that's what you are talking about? I don't know if you have children or not but do you just introduce them by name and not disclose your relationship with them. How about with your mom or dad? Do you just call them by name? After all mom and dad are labels. Labels are necessary to humans. They help us and others to define out relationships with each other. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/13/2008 5:42:19 PM |
I don't know if you have children or not but do you just introduce them by name and not disclose your relationship with them. How about with your mom or dad? Do you just call them by name? After all mom and dad are labels. Labels are necessary to humans. They help us and others to define out relationships with each other.
My child is easy - dead ringer and unfortunately, usually badly behaved. I'm generally quite happy not to claim her in public. The bf, or whatever his title is, is somewhat harder to define with a label. I call him by name and people not familiar with him ask "is that your...." and there's where I run aground. I'm quite happy calling him by his name (although I get tempted to make up a really good/bad one like Fabio or something). Its the label I have a problem with. I can label my assistant, my neighbour, my mom - but romantic attachments are hard. I'd like to be accurate and not over/understate. Bf sounds better than boyfriend - less juvenile... but I'm looking for terminology I can handle saying. | |
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gfom
| | Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 58 | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:42:00 PM | Does it have to be so exacting? How would you like to be introduced or mentioned in conversation? It really depends on who is asking right? I mean you'd tell your mother one thing, your girlfriends another, and the nosy office gossip yet a third (if anything). I don't think you're gonna find one label that fits all. Unless you tell them "a man I had agreed to meet" and that's just silly. You could be a wiseazz and say "a man" even with that they'd figure enough out. I mean, if they are your good friends you probably won't mind answering, if they are people who you'd rather not answer to - then answer a friend.
Most folks are smart enough that if you were asked "Who is mark?" and you were to answer "my friend" they have the basic information and that's all they need.
I'd tell folks "this woman I've been seeing"....they'd get enough information from that and not too much. If they didn't like that answer...well that's just tough. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:32:22 PM | Most folks are smart enough that if you were asked "Who is mark?" and you were to answer "my friend" they have the basic information and that's all they need.
First of all if they were a casual acquaintance or just a stranger then I would not feel the need to tell them much of anything. My family and friends well that's different.
I'd tell folks "this woman I've been seeing"....they'd get enough information from that and not too much. If they didn't like that answer...well that's just tough.
I would personally find it a little insulting if my boyfriend were to tell his family and friends that I was" just this woman he was seeing",or just "my friend". That means you are ashamed of the person and are hiding who they are and what you mean to each other ,and if my boyfriend were to do this I would think I would not mean much of anything to him if he was to afraid or hesitant to tell his family and friends about our relationship.
Wow what do you say about a person who is ashamed to claim her own child to other people. Just wow! | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/16/2008 9:46:16 AM |
and I need one for church too. LOL
Oh now you have to be difficult....lol....
this is my heavenly sent loneliness eradication, companionship enhancing, physical assimulation partner/friend.
the physical part can be left out but you use so many big words they are like uhh ok thats nice dear. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/16/2008 9:52:19 AM | In my case, my family is nosy (and so are some of my friends), and unless/until I have been with someone for over six months and it looks like it's gonna be long term, they don't need to know if I am dating/seeing/sleeping with anyone and the nature of the relationship. I don't want to hear advice, what they think I should do, what timeline I should be following, and all that.
Saves me the trouble of having to explain what's going on with him or myself everytime I talk to them...if we break things off then I have to go thru all that when if they don't know in the first place, there's nothing to explain cause they never knew to begin with.
I'm just a private person...to me that stuff is private until I WANT to tell them. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/16/2008 2:09:13 PM | I too can sometimes tend to be badly behaved in public!
Now I understand why I'm usually going "unclaimed".
And, as a friend recently pointed out to me................
Though this username may be a bit more nice and cutsie (sp?), I'm still good ol' "TheDirtyBen", and maybe not all that innocent. LOL
Now, with some mod screwing with my post lengths.............I can't help but to consider yet another new username! I just wish that the forum regs were left alone and let the community police one of it's own!
But, that's me! | |
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amg72
| | Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 67 | |
| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/16/2008 3:30:56 PM |
I don't know if you have children or not but do you just introduce them by name[\quote] Yes! They figured it out all their own. They are smart like their momma! How about with your mom or dad?[\quote] They are smart too, I got it from them! Lol. Surprised I haven't seen lover on the list yet. I did accidentally introduce my guy, my bf my ???? Once as pet instead of Pat so calling him my pet has stuck with close friends.  | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/17/2008 4:27:19 AM | [I would personally find it a little insulting if my boyfriend were to tell his family and friends that I was" just this woman he was seeing",or just "my friend". That means you are ashamed of the person and are hiding who they are and what you mean to each other ,and if my boyfriend were to do this I would think I would not mean much of anything to him if he was to afraid or hesitant to tell his family and friends about our relationship./]
Obviously if your family and friends don't know who he is you couldn't have been seeing him for very long and your relationship mightn't be that serious up to that point. Would you still call that person your boyfriend?
lastly, you added "JUST this woman woman i've been seeing" I said "this woman I've been seeing." That's distinctly different. It's plain that if you're madly in love with someone, you wouldn't have a problem telling other people about your relationship for the most part. No, it's the relationships that aren't quite there yet that people wrestle with labels. Do you call every guy that you've had more than one date with your boyfriend or ex boyfriend as the case may be? | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/17/2008 4:44:10 AM |
ROFLMAO... Your profile indicates you don't have children. Just wait.
Can't have them, don't have them and even if I could have them I still wouldn't want them. However if I did have them I wouldn't deny they are mine or refuse to claim them. If your children are as terrible as you are insinuating then it's not their fault they are that bad. Children learn what they live. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:07:54 AM |
...don't have them and even if I could have them I still wouldn't want them.
so your expert opinion is based on??.... Your moniker?
However if I did have them I wouldn't deny they are mine or refuse to claim them. If your children are as terrible as you are insinuating then it's not their fault they are that bad. Children learn what they live.
Small children, particularly toddlers, are like wild beasts that we socialize over time. I know why tigers eat their young... | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/17/2008 9:31:45 AM | WAIT, WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lemme get the popcorn!
Is Lorne Green around here some where? Should I brush my hair?
I get the sensation like I'm in an episode of "Wild Kingdom"!
Lions, tigers, cougars, hyenas..................................... | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/17/2008 10:16:21 AM | Depends on how long you have been together as to how to introduce them. If you've have only been out a few times, then simply say "this is (insert persons name). Most people can make up there own minds on what the relationship staus is.
If you have been going out for a while then it's the "this is (insert name), my partner in crime" I started useing that one after going to the see the folks/family, without the (ex)wife. They always asked me where my partner in crime was. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 9/17/2008 10:44:32 AM | I think am more free posting on here with the "boyfriend" label than in real life!
I tend to simply introduce him by full name in person...
I am pretty affectionate ...holding his hand, or squeezing his elbow --tells them most of the story, in any case.
I guess it comes from a time when people have introduced their parents to me in the past as "my mom" or "my dad" without giving me a clue as to how to address them!
A name is more important for any future conversation than who they are to you --I think, anyway... That's the easy part to remember!
I did get a little miffed in college by being called "a friend" when we ....uh... clearly weren't JUST friends after a few months of dating ... I told him to simply introduce me by my name after that.
(BTW... It should have been clue it wouldn't work out!)
If I ask someone about THEIR significant other, I will usually ask how "their Sweetie" or "their Honey" is doing...
--Did I mention that I am bad with names??? | |
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