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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/27/2009 4:56:43 PM |
Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
When I saw the headline in the threads, I thought it was about the dismay a woman must have felt when a man saw her body and said, "Is that your a**?"
And she said, "No, c'mon, I'm over 30; they're my breasts."
I guess I enthusiastically jumped to a conclusion....
I call them my "Guy friends." (my dates, not my boobs, although that could be true...
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Yor-on
| | Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 131 | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/23/2010 2:14:34 PM | If you are not comfortable with the boyfriend title and calling him simply by his name seems to leave him undefined in some way then I suppose you need to ask yourself what role he really is playing in your life. If you are sexually involved then lover is appropriate as long as you do not mind raising a few eyebrows. If the relationship is new and you are not yet intimate, friend seems appropriate as that, essentially, is what he is. If it is long term but not at the fiance stage, significant other sometimes works and if you want to be facetious and are serious about each other the term, "other half or better half" is used often.
Labels are really for other people to be able to put your relationship into a category they can relate to anyway so what you choose to call anyone you are involved with should really be a matter of what the two of you agree is comfortable for both of you | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/26/2010 1:35:34 PM |
The topic of what the heck to call him came up when I was trying to explain to friends that I was seeing someone. I struggled to label him - what??
A guy you're seeing. Just what you called it. What do you call him? A guy you're seeing. If it's really casual, you can put a "casual" in there, too. Not too hard.
There is an old similar thread of what do you call them? SO, b/f, g/f
You call them an SO, BF/GF if you two are a couple.
Should their label change with age? Teenyboppers and geriatrics regularly have b/fs, g/fs and we all think it cute - but what do the middle aged call their whatevers?
No, it doesn't change with age. People from age 14 to 74 call someone their girlfriend or boyfriend. Teenyboppers may use other terms, but girlfriend/boyfriend are very clear-cut words, used in every generation.
What you are with someone is by what you do, not what you wish to label it, btw. I try to make things simple with a 3-step rule. There can be gray-areas in between, sure, but most of the time, it's a good way to know where you're at:
1) Pre-Dating. Much like "pre-season"... they're exhibition games (dates/outings), but you two aren't Dating (yet?). Everything from approaching someone and exchanging numbers, to the # of dates you can count on your fingers (usually). What defines it is that your free-time lives don't really mesh, or if they are starting to, not much time has gone by yet. You seeing them again is set more or less by -plans-, not by routine. You're not a couple, but when out, you are treated like that, since it is a "pre-season" game, if you will. People who like FWB or "take it slow", are suspended in this phase or a slight modification of it.
2) Dating. Your free-time lives mesh to a good degree, but not necessarily that much on your lives as a whole. It's become a given & routine (hence the ING in Dating), that you two are going to see each other, no questions asked. Ex: You get a call from a friend and they ask what you're doing this weekend, and you'd reflexively say, "Dunno quite yet... Bob and I are probably going to BW3 or [such-and-such-place] on Fri or Sat. What do you have lined up?" It's routine... you are a couple, but not necessarily serious. You see each other frequently that has established a routine of sorts... and whether you like it or not, you ARE Dating, with or without any official-like fancy 'dates' set up. You're an item. No thoughts of any 'plans' needed when it comes to seeing each other; it's gotten beyond that point. Cheating/fidelity/betrayal has set in.
3) Established Relationship. This is where, whether you like it or not, are boyfriend/girlfriend... meaning you are a couple. It's not that much of your free-time lives mesh, but your lives in general mesh. You've gone through time of the Dating phase, and now, you may find a good portion of clothes at his place, or have met the parents as an item... stuff like that. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/26/2010 5:31:18 PM | No, it doesn't change with age. People from age 14 to 74 call someone their girlfriend or boyfriend. Teenyboppers may use other terms, but girlfriend/boyfriend are very clear-cut words, used in every generation.
My SO was glad when he found out we were exclusive and he could refer to me as his girlfriend. He was also happy when I wanted to call him my boyfriend. He was a little surprised that sometimes I refer to him as an SO when writing on here. I was just going with what seems to be popular but we have no problem with still using the term bf/gf. He is 50 and I am 38.
My older sister who is in her mid 40's felt uncomfortable introducing her boyfriend as that and just said friend. She said it was because it felt like teenagers but I think it has more to do with her being confused about her feelings for the guy she is seeing.
Quote from him when I first asked if we were exclusive.
I’m glad you brought up subject I didn’t know how you would react if I referred to you as my girlfriend.
Why are so many over age 30 people afraid of using the title boyfriend/girlfriend? There is nothing wrong with it. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/27/2010 8:48:04 AM |
My older sister who is in her mid 40's felt uncomfortable introducing her boyfriend as that and just said friend. She said it was because it felt like teenagers but I think it has more to do with her being confused about her feelings for the guy she is seeing.
Absolutely it was confusion about her feelings. Just saying "friend" is just as teenage as "boyfriend". A good example of boyfriend/girlfriend not being a teenage thing, just watch the news about people who are older (politicians, famous people, missing people, etc). They refer to it as boyfriend/girlfriend without hesitation.
I think a lot of people are just "scared" of making a commitment public, because when you do, it makes it more solidified... and if they have any second thoughts about concretely committing to someone for the long haul, they won't want to use that term. But there are other "softer" terms they can use instead in the suffix of "That is Bob, ...". You can say "the guy I'm seeing", "the guy I'm dating", "the guy I'm going out with".
Saying "friend" means you don't want a commitment with them at that point. Saying it's due to an age thing is a total cop-out. :) | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/27/2010 10:22:35 AM | I think a lot of people are just "scared" of making a commitment public, because when you do, it makes it more solidified... and if they have any second thoughts about concretely committing to someone for the long haul, they won't want to use that term. But there are other "softer" terms they can use instead in the suffix of "That is Bob, ...". You can say "the guy I'm seeing", "the guy I'm dating", "the guy I'm going out with".
I agree and she is still confused if they should be more than friends. I say if she is having that many doubts no point in delaying it any longer but she hates being alone or starting over.
Saying "friend" means you don't want a commitment with them at that point. Saying it's due to an age thing is a total cop-out. :) 
If you are sure about the relationship being serious most people no matter the age are proud to use the terms boyfriend/girlfriend. Man friend and lady friend don't have the exclusive sound to it.
I'm definitely over 30 (bordering the next milestone forum) and I recently entered a committed relationship (okay, as committed as I can mentally handle without running, screaming). The topic of what the heck to call him came up when I was trying to explain to friends that I was seeing someone. I struggled to label him - what??
This says why the OP was not comfortable with the terms. She was not really wanting a serious relationship with this man. The same reason my sister felt better just introducing her bf as a friend. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/29/2010 12:35:40 PM | | My sister has been living with a guy for going on 12 years. They are a married couple in all ways except legally, I call him my brother-in-law and my kids call him uncle, because that's what he is; my mom, dear, proper, old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud that she is, refers to him as my sister's "fella", as in "Yes, Suzy and her fella are still together, yes, they're very happy" and will probably still be calling him that when they've been together 50 years. She literally squirms when someone asks her how long my sister and bil have been married and she has to tell them that they've been together 12 years, but that they're not married. To some people, the title is just that important, even if it's just trying to figure out whether to call them boyfriend or girlfriend or my SO or what-have-you. | |
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| OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/3/2010 4:05:21 PM | This is hilarious!
A few years ago I started seriously dating this girl.
One night we went to a pub to meet a group of my friends for the first time. Well, we get there and when I introduced her i said this is (name) and kind of froze...I didn't know what to label her.
She saved me though....she beamed a huge smile and put her hand out and exclaimed: "I'm his dirty little whore!"
My friends where shocked for like 30 seconds...they all smiled and shook her hand one by one then laughed and said: " You're the MAN!...does she have any sisters?" That was a great save! | |
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| | Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 145 | |
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