| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:08:45 AM | There is a lot more to high maintenance than just appearance. High maintenance to me is when you have to walk on eggshells around a person because you don't know what kind of mood they're going to be in when you speak with them. High maintenance is when she is demanding in all things when it comes to the relationship including of his time. "It's all about me" kind of people - the same can be said for men as well.
Personally there are times when I feel great in my favourite ball cap and it has nothing to do with a bad hair day. I can take hours in the bathroom because there is nowhere else I need to be and I feel like pampering myself. It's certainly not something that's a regular occurence. Who has that much time to waste when there is so much you could be doing? He had better not take more time in the bathroom than I do nor use more hair products than me. Just make sure you take the time to brush your teeth before you head out the door.
Women love shoes; it's a fact of life so just accept it. We have more than one pair and sometimes more than one of the same pair in different colours. Don't complain about how many shoes we have and we won't complain about how many different gadgets, fishing rods, ball caps, sports equipment, fill in the blank you have and consider necessary. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:18:09 AM | If the lady smells good and looks good and wears nice clothes then the man sees$$$$$$$ that he will have to put out to afford all that,
For a man to be high maintenance is """cars,lunches at country clubs, play time, clubs ...golf and fees and yet he cannot afford all that on his income and women think s No way will I support all that. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:19:47 AM | I have an example of high-maintenance - a woman I had talked to on and off a while ago, never actually met in person.
She told me she had dated a guy she thought was "the one" - this was based on a whole three weeks they had dated - then one day she had a cold and called him to ask him to bring her some juice - and he took a whole TWO HOURS to get it to her. So she dumped him 
She also had a checklist of things a guy was expected to say / ask during a phone conversation, and once when I didn't ask how her day at work was going (because I thought she only had a minute to talk), she let me know 
Once when I went a couple months without talking to her I had to jog her memory as to who I was - she said she had inter-met "40 or 50 guys" since last time we had talked - amazing that out of that many guys, no one had met her standards or stuck around 
The really amazing thing was - from her pics, she wasn't particularly attractive, and had "athletic" as her body type because she was physically active, despite being at least 30-40 lbs overweight. Methinks her opinion of herself was rather inflated - and no, her personality was not all that great either  - what a surprise that she was almost 40 and never been married. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:33:22 AM | My late wife was always perfect in dress, hair and makeup, even on a camping trip. I filled a pickup with with cloths for donation over a hundred pair of shoes, many identical but in different colors and that was just 'summer stuff' haven't gotten around to her trunks of 'winter stuff' and still have a walk in closet I haven't touched. Packing light for a weekend meant only three bags, not including the necessities bag of cosmetics, hairdryer, steam rollers. I always got a kick out of it.
She wasn't insecure about her looks, on the contrary she was very self assured. It was just part of who she was. If she said she was going to be ready at a certain time she was.
It's only high maintenance, if you think it is.
She was 'hot' to me anytime. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:44:47 AM | jenny??
If the lady smells good and looks good and wears nice clothes then the man sees$$$$$$$ that he will have to put out to afford all that,
For a man to be high maintenance is """cars,lunches at country clubs, play time, clubs ...golf and fees and yet he cannot afford all that on his income and women think s No way will I support all that.
And your not the only one that took it this way btw.... Your post was just the handiest to quote... I am surprised so many made it a purely financial issue? Mine was all about emotional upkeep. lol My defination has nothing at all to do with finances at all.
My version of high maintenenace is the beating one takes constantly trying to keep someone happy with life everyday. To demanding. When the effort required is way higher then whats its worth to ya (and that will vary from person to person here) then they are just way too much work... (wink) And thats High Maintenance. (smile)
Cheers
Cowboy | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:55:11 AM | I see high maintenence and needy as too different descriptions of someone. I think high maintenance is how much time & money is invested in taking care of their appearance. Hours to get ready to go no place. Nails always perfect, hair cut colored styled religiously, always the best clothes, and probably have a closet full of clothing that still has tags on them... etc. Needs to be spoiled and catered with gifts etc.
I think the need for constant reassurance and emotional "upkeep" as "Needy"
My view is you can have a low maintenence woman who is very needy emotinally. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:30:52 PM | Now I am all confused....
High maintenance in a woman, I thought, is the fact of her maintaining her appearance to the extreme, for whatever reason. Taking a long time in the bathroom, always being late because of it or not answering the door without make-up......at all times.
but...
High maintenance in the sense of keeping a relationship happy is a new and interesting aspect.
One never knows what you are going to learn on here............ | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:32:58 PM | My definition of 'high maintenance' is:
-rely on you to fix their problems rather than fixing it themselves
-frequently talk about problems, but not so much about solutions
-lots of complaining
-not too much happiness
-has high standards for others, not so high for themselves
-Puts you through "tests" where you constantly have to defend/prove yourself
-Needs constant attention to the point that it hampers your ability to do things with others.
-every little problem is a crisis | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:38:22 PM | | High maintenance is just another way to describe someone who is selfish. Their feelings are at the top of their list and it should be on your's, as well. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:54:39 PM | High maintance- for women or men - living beyound their means finicially- socially and emotinally!
A high manitaince man or women spends beyound their means to impresses some-one to thinking "who they think they are"
They have to go to the best resturants clubs and social outings and run with the big timers - less they aren't with them ?
Socially -high maintance people are upidy type and many people think the same if they run in th same circles- yet they aren't
Emotionally they are insecure in many levels of life - if hard times hit they have a adjustment to make? wonder what then?
Earning the right to wealth is good as long as its earned honorable-what and whoses wealth level depends on the person themselves!!
Just being who you are and enjoying life- is far more important-- in real life ? JMHO | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:03:00 PM | | People put too many labels on each other. If a woman seems out of your league, then don't ask her out. Why resort to name-calling? That just shows a lack of character as far as I am concerned. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:04:23 PM | After 33 posts, we only agree on one thing it seems to me. That is what ever needs there are, be it man or woman, your needs ALWAYS come second, if at all. Most of us will cencede to some quirk we have that is not viewed well by our SO. THEY (HM people) will view that as a necessity of life.
There is nothing wrong with being second, at times, though not at all times. Some of the things mentioned don't seem like much, they are only the times that most stick out in your mind. If you look back on it, for those who encountered HM type people, and think it through, it was your resentment of being second or not considered at all, that bothers you.
It isn't high maintenence, to want to look attractive. Not even to be insecure or have a high opinion of themselves. It is that you don't count, your opinions are not valued, your thoughts viewed as mundane. It is the pain you feel, for valuing them so highly, while you were not valued at all.
Why shouldn't a beautiful woman look as good as she can. Who cares if you are a few minutes late. If she can say " I did it for you, I'm sorry I made us late, thank you for waiting" no man could begrudge her the time. How many times did you hear "I'm ready let's go" as if talking to a chauffer. Think about it. Bob | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:10:16 PM |
Why shouldn't a beautiful woman look as good as she can. Who cares if you are a few minutes late. If she can say " I did it for you, I'm sorry I made us late, thank you for waiting" no man could begrudge her the time. How many times did you hear "I'm ready let's go" as if talking to a chauffer. Think about it. Bob
There is a difference when she is doing it to look good for her man, or just can't function with out doing it. Won't walk to the mailbox with out her hair done and face on. I will spend extra time on myself when going on a date, but if I am just running to the store to get milk on a sunday morning, then they take me as I am... well I will brush my hair and teeth atleast. | |
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DD10
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Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 39 | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:48:04 PM | Ok gals, now....how do you girls define a High maintenance GUY.....
same way as the girl living/demanding more than she gives herself. So it would be a guy who takes more either emotionally or financially than he gives???
Its bedtime for me now...live in beautiful Scandinavia...so Im off for tonight...see ya tomorrow ;) | |
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adf67
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Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 41 | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:58:40 PM |
Ok gals, now....how do you girls define a High maintenance GUY.....
same way as the girl living/demanding more than she gives herself. So it would be a guy who takes more either emotionally or financially than he gives???
I WAS describing a high maintenance guy...and yes, that would be pretty much the definition. My post again below:
For me high maintenance means being expected to cater to someone's emotional well being, having to dish out constant approval or having to hold their hand thru things they should be taking care of on their own...or not being able to go anywhere without a chaperone.
Mostly it means obligation and/or a lot of effor on my part in order to be around them...they cannot just "be".
Basically whatever I can do in my life I expect others to be able to do also...or at least not expect my assistance in doing it. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 2:05:18 PM | I don't mind admitting that I am highly EMOTIONALLY high maintenance. This comes from being with men who automatically assume that, if they call you once a month, you should know they care, right?.....The only thing I require is to know that, if we're dating exclusively, it means exclusive on BOTH our parts....not me being faithful while he plays.
I just ended a relationship of 3 months. In the beginning he told me he knew as soon as he looked into my eyes that I was the one for him. He told me he loved me and wanted to get married. I told him to wait because I was a little gun shy and we had only known each other a few weeks. Within the next few weeks he stopped coming to my place, asking me to come to his instead because after work he was too tired to go anywhere. Fine....that was do-able. Then he started working 10 to 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. It got to the point that I had to go to his work to see him (he is self-employed). Then I started helping him DO his work because he always said he was too far behind to get away. I was off for the summer so I said, sure. I worked many 8 hour days, long hot sweaty hours....with no pay other than lunch (fast food that I went to get and ate sitting in the heat) I even did his laundry for him because he never had time.....we had talked about moving in together when he was financially solvant.....but he never seemed to get ahead.
Then, I got a message from someone on the dating site where we met (NOT POF *S*) I turned the guy down because I thought I had a guy. Then I went to my guy's profile. This site just happened to show when the person had last been on. Just that week......Hmmmmmmmmm. Then, out of the blue, he tells me he thinks I'd be happier if I found someone that could spend more time with me. So, that day I showed up at his place. I noticed a new TV....a new computer and scanner.....it seemed I was helping him make money that was supposed to go into the house fund....HIS house fund. Oh well, better I learned BEFORE we actually got a place together.....IF that was actually in his plans. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 3:12:41 PM | | High maintenance = oblivious to the fact that anyone else exists (except to attend to them) | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 3:23:57 PM | I'm sorry, but I like the fact that a woman wants to take care of herself, likes the finer things in life, and is well... Feminine. Don't get me wrong, I dig a woman who can get down and dirty too, but at the end of the day, I don't mind waiting an extra 30 minutes in your living room if the result is you walking out of the bathroom looking like a goddess...
And as far as emotionally high maintenance? No different from men. Except instead of talking about it, we keep our dissatisfaction inside only to use it as an excuse to cheat later because "we're not getting what we want" in the relationship. At least a 'high maintenance chick' will tell you that you suck before she cheats on you.
Philly your awesome!!
My definition of 'high maintenance' is:
-rely on you to fix their problems rather than fixing it themselves
-frequently talk about problems, but not so much about solutions
-lots of complaining
-not too much happiness
-has high standards for others, not so high for themselves
-Puts you through "tests" where you constantly have to defend/prove yourself
-Needs constant attention to the point that it hampers your ability to do things with others.
-every little problem is a crisis
Wow - I know a few guys like this, ok women too!
High maintenance women are one's who are clingy and needy, not able to spend any time alone, must have a guys attention all the time and is jealous of everything! They constantly spend time at beauty salons, malls, on the cellphones. Have to be the center of attention or they get angry. Same with men.
High maintenance men need constant reassurance of your devotion to them tho they don't want to give anything in return. They spend more time and money on their clothes and stuff then three women combined!! They need constant approval of everything and if you don't agree they do a 180. Same with women. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 3:26:35 PM | High maintencance to me means she has very high needs emotionally and financially.
If the relationship is all about her and not equal then it is seriously high maintenance.
I have found in general that the best looking women are usually the most high maintenance, they demand more because they feel they are more desirable. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 3:40:29 PM | | Carries a purse at all times? How is that relevant to being 'high maintenance'? Most of your so-called "list" is pretty out there. You strike me as one of those whiners who wants to piss and moan about 'high maintenance women', then get all bent out of shape when said woma(e)n doesn't wear makeup. | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 4:11:08 PM | I couldn't help but hear Jeff Foxworthy's voice in my head after reading the original OP:
"She might be high maintenance if her hand is reaching for your wallet more than a hand onto"  | |
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| High maintenance definitions
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:11:25 PM | OP-Please permit me to add an item to my prior post:
Twenty-somethings who reside in Cooper, TX ("Hillbilly Hell") from Dallas (Hillbilly Heaven?) who think eccentricism is a word, much less a suitable synonym for eccentricity, and whose stated interests include:
1. taking candy from babies;
2. pushing over fat people;
3. dissecting the human mind;
4. playing with paraplegics; and my particular favorite,
5. proving people wrong.
Most of your so-called "list" is pretty out there.
ExquisitePinky, I freely and proudly admit that my "gut reactions" (I never called it a "list"), and general take on world, are quite different from yours, and that there's nothing exquisite about them or me. lol
You strike me as one of those whiners who wants to piss and moan about 'high maintenance women', then get all bent out of shape when said woma(e)n doesn't wear makeup.
Seems to me as if the only one permitted to be a "certified smart ass" is the "stigmatized" goddess (those "physical assets") from Cooper, TX who is, btw, seemingly unable to deal with "a bit of snark and sarcasm".
I haven't whined, urinated or moaned about anything yet (save the subtlety of this post), and would not just welcome but embrace any woman willing to hit the trails with me without the pretty face paint and the bag it seems to come in.
If you were aimin' for me, Darlin', you're about 500 miles wide left, and woefully short.
Peace! | |
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