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Thread: You know it's been too long since you've had sex when...

x-rayTechGirl

Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 26

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/13/2008 12:17:26 PM
when you cum, dust comes out. ......there's a spider web around your "area".

writerbum

Joined: 11/13/2007
Msg: 27
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/13/2008 3:25:09 PM
When friends start renting your porn from you, because, "lets face it man, you're not jacking it to 27 DVDs at once, right? Are you?"

NancyDr

Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 28

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/13/2008 4:05:13 PM
when you name your right hand, and you cheat on it with your left Wondering how those with one hand improvise with?

kevininlasvegas

Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 29

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/13/2008 4:50:53 PM
When the female needs to tell you why it goes in the hole. When the woman acts like she seen a naked male for the first time .

real1-2care

Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 30

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/13/2008 5:52:43 PM
...when you catch yourself looking longingly at the vegetables in the grocery store. ...when your next door neighbor who's eighty starts to look sexy mowing the lawn with his bermuda shorts and flip flops with white socks. ...when you give your showerhead nicknames. ...when you begin to believe that "BOB" is really the name of your loyal boyfriend. ...when you keep a AA battery supply in your night stand drawer

fish4em

Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 31

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/13/2008 6:43:52 PM
When you think you hear your hand say "not tonight I have a headache"

Sassy C

Joined: 12/15/2006
Msg: 32
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 4:01:08 AM
The only action you're getting is from turning an old guy in a nursing home, and he feels you up while you're turning him!

Sarnia

Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 33

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 4:54:06 AM
everything looks like a Phallic symbol; curling irons, pool cues, lengthy pine cones, whole heads of broccoli, shampoo bottles, toothpaste tubes, remote controls, traffic cones, javelins... but worse yet, they're mocking you :\|

djrdx

Joined: 7/22/2004
Msg: 34
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 5:27:15 AM
Born to Survive, they get VERY flexible, and learn how to use their feet...

Paper_Tyger

Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 35

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 11:57:35 AM
You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... you've bought that many batteries you contemplate getting shares in Duracell.

celebrtlife

Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 36

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 2:41:59 PM
There is no way I would think an 80 year old is sexy. Not yet anyway. lol When you have forgotten how to have a great, even good sexual fantasy.

byebye baby

Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 37

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 3:48:07 PM
the most action ur kittys getting is from a tampax that's sick I know

MagEMaeI

Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 38

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 6:50:02 PM
Duracell and Tampax Ya freaking killing me,here

annasthasia

Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 39
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 7:35:13 PM
It just so happens that I read this thread and I hear hundreds if not thousands of crickets making their noises... The ones making the noise are all males, they want to attract a female to mate... It is basically their mating call... So... right now .... You know it's been too long since you've had sex when you wish you could become a female cricket for a night...

ooohmiss!

Joined: 3/5/2007
Msg: 40
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/14/2008 8:04:15 PM
You know it's been too long since you had sex when ......... you keep on burning out a sex toy that has a 7 year warrantee and customer service knows you by name .......

unchainedbutterfly

Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 41
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 1:16:11 AM
huh what is that. Sex???? Let's see.... man...nah... Hell i think my cobwebs have cobwebs. don't remember.

daveg61961

Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 42
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 6:10:12 AM
Sex is like air. You don't really think about it much unless your not getting any! Anyone feel like they are suffocating?

MagEMaeI

Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 43

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 9:31:44 AM
A good-looking guy says: "Spread 'em, babe." and you proceed to the kitchen to make toast with butter and jelly

brianontario20

Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 44
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 9:41:29 AM
when you need to buy a new calender,.....and you didnt even get an "x" on any of the dates on the last calender.

raxarsr

Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 45
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 12:53:47 PM
CHIRP! CHIRP! CHIRP!........[cricket noises]

wise_guy76

Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 46

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 1:31:40 PM
You start rating cartoon characters on the “doable” scale When someone talks about doggy style you think of clothes for pets You begin to wonder if your parts can actually rust Your feminine side has a restraining order against you

guitard

Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 47
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 1:46:16 PM
They hair on your blow up doll has turned grey.

lopec100

Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 48

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/15/2008 1:56:13 PM
your hands become hairy like Robin Williams.

rswscion

Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 49

You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/17/2008 8:07:00 PM
The computer freezes up from all the porn You downloaded!!! You get excited when You hear the "Windows Start up tune" You wake up at 3 am just to watch girls gone wild infomercials!!! AAAH Hell I got nothin here!!! Here til thursday and try the veal!!!

jeffbfun

Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 50
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You know it's been too long since you've had sex when... Posted: 9/18/2008 3:23:35 PM
it's bad when they don't warrenty it,do to operator abuse it's been to long when you think your right hand is getting suspisious.

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> You know it's been too long since you've had sex when...