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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:54:29 AM | My profile is totally real. I list everything that I'm looking for and if you really pay attention to what I say, I'm not actually asking for a lot.
Also, I do look like my photos. I never understood why anyone would post a photo that's not a true representation of themselves. It's not like the person you attract based on the photo in your profile isn't going to find out when they meet you. It's basically starting (or trying to start) a relationship based on a lie. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:57:54 AM | Well, I doubt anybody would admit to having a fake profile. But then again, if they did admit it, that would make it more real, wouldn't it?
The profiles are marketing pieces. And just like resumés, I expect that certain strengths might be glorified, and less desirable characteristics downplayed. Hey, we're all only human, after all. When you interact, you can verify in subtle ways. I had somebody interrogate me on several points, and while I didn't mind answering, it wasn't a particularly charming approach and showed them to be uptight and over-anxious.
If you put too many fake things on your profile, when you connect with somebody you like, you'll have a damn fine time trying to explain away the inconsistencies. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:52:55 PM |
I honestly think that both men and women are pre-judging by looks alone.
Absolutely...not that that's a bad thing...still, photos are hand picked to not show any of the lesser desirable qualities...personally, i've sent more email to women who did not have pics posted...and, i had issues with posting mine which pof could not resolve...and life went on just fine...
Even pof acknowledges that pics are important because they allow us to screen profiles that don't have one. I think that defeats the purpose of meeting new people, but then that's just me.
Are the profiles real or fake? I don't really care either way because the first couple of email exchanges usually uncover the honest truth... | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:26:44 PM | What's funny is when you can clearly see that the girl/woman attempting to chat you up in email has never read your profile. So you then may draw one of three conclusions:
* she's never read your profile
* the system is flawed and didn't register the fact that she read your profile earlier
* she has more than one profile and she read yours using the other profile
It's usually the first one. And I tend to know this because 1) my profile states that I'm just looking for friends, 2) my profile indicates that I've found somebody and I'm not looking and 3) the girl trying to chat me up is asking the standard dating questions and her profile indicates that she's looking for a long-term relationship.
So I'll be nice of course and I'll gently ask what she liked about my profile (fully sensing that she hasn't even bothered). Upon her response I'll note that she still hasn't viewed my profile and she'll say something complimentary about my photo. I'll then ask her what she thought of the second paragraph in my profile. This will be so specific that she'll be forced to read it for the first time and then it will dawn on her that I have a girlfriend, etc.
I guess what I'm saying in all this that people don't always read the profiles. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:26:53 AM | I honestly think that both men and women are pre-judging by looks alone.
It's a fact. Appearance gets the attention, "who" the person is keeps the attention. At least for me.
So the bottom line question here is... Are the profiles Real or Fake ... is what is in your profile really what your looking for .. (which to me most people are looking for a good sense of humor) or are you looking for that 8 or 9 out of 10 man or woman even befor you give them a chance?
My tastes are so non-mainstream that I don't view the whole 1-10 system as logical. I wasn't looking for a number, I was looking for a man that appealed to me in appearance. The appearance part was easy to find ~ finding someone with that appeal plus substance (on multiple levels) was, at times, almost unfathomable. But, it can happen if you have the patience to wait it out. I think the majority of profiles are probably generated by "real people" yet many certainly aren't really "who" that person is. You can be anyone and say anything in a profile online. Those who are serious may not be as likely to fabricate or embellish, but there are so many that do, in fact, lie ~~ that it's probably a good idea to get DNA and handwriting samples collected for analysis prior to meeting and then once you verify they are a real person, you can begin the hours and hours of trying to figure out "who" they actually are. If you can make it through all that ~ you've probably hit the man/woman lottery. It's worth it once you do get to that point. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:01:57 AM | Depends on the person doing the posting. There are some genuinely honest people out there stating exactly what they really do want, but they are few and far between. I have seen some guys be brutally honest in their profiles. It hurts for someone real like me, but I'd rather that than the alternative.
I've made no secret to every guy I've talked to that there has to be chemistry from the get go, but that has to come from meeting in person. If there is absolutely no spark whatsoever from a picture, I understand not wanting to waste time, but if there is even an inkling of "he's not so bad physically", then I will meet him in person to find out.
My last boyfriend was older than me, balding and had a bit of a beer gut, but he turned me on like no other man has, so you have to give some guys a shot. We were set up on a blind date, so at least I met him in person first and didn't judge on pics. If I had, I probably never would have gone out with him. Just look for that one little thing that is positive in pics and take a chance. If the rest of the profile is great, you have nothing to lose. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:39:43 PM | I didn’t put what I was looking for in a man in my profile because I don’t have a clue. A lot of women think they do, but I am not sold on that idea. I mean there are some basics. Meaning, I am not going to put up with a bunch of bullshit, but other than that, there is no way for me to tell whom I am going to click with. So I left the list of what I thought I might want off.
I also left off the list of adjectives of what I thought I am. Although self reflective, there is no way for me to tell how anyone is going to perceive me, so that doesn’t make sense either. When I wrote my profile I just tried to tell a little story about what I like to do in my life centered around the things I do the most.
And yes I do read profiles. I do miss some things though when reading them. I have IMed guys before whose profile would have excluded me inadvertently. But it wasn’t because I didn’t read his “about me” section. It is usually something in the standard choices up top that I didn’t catch. I am not on here reading carefully and meticulously over profiles like resumes trying to interview for my future husband or some non-sense like that. I approach this as something to be done for fun, which may lead to something serious, so yeah, I am going to miss things.
But it runs both ways, I get a lot of guys IMing me asking me questions that they would know if they had read my profile. Glaring blatant things. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/20/2008 5:14:34 PM | Well if they don't look like the pictures, then dump them lol.... Isn't that much better you can dump one on a first date?
I think it definitely is much better than you find someone is fake after a few months, or years, or decades! 
Personally I don't have to fake stuff like that lol... It makes things simple and easier, so, why not?
By the way, those people who fake their profile or pictures, are poor guys/girls who try to get more attention.... You know, it is very hard to keep on lying, faking, and going on like that! So please be kind to them and move on.... Then you will find one much better than you expected lol. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:03:22 PM | I'd say Fake...
It's absolutely hilarious when they post a topic that conflicts their profiles......so when you ask, they say"OH, I forgot to mention that" 
you ask a girl to meet you and she says "sorry, I don't date smokers".....yet didn't mention that in criteria
you ask a girl to meet you and she says "sorry but I've got to work"......a human resources administrator on a Saturday night
you say "Hi, great profile, my name is ******, what's yours?"......they respond with 'hello, how are you'....must be good drugs
At least they take full advantage of the  reasons | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:49:19 PM | Well, some of this is due to the limitation of the web-site interface.
Take POF for example - I'd want to put "must be a non-smoker" but I could probably live with occasional or trying to quit...but it's an all-or-nothing checkbox, so I left it unchecked.
Ok, that said, yeah EVERYONE has what they're attracted to and what they're not attracted to... I mean, heck, I know that if someone's going for a 6-foot blonde guy, I'm NOT going to be first, second, or even fifth on their list.
Well, I did meet this one woman - and she said up front that I'd normally not be her type, but since we both liked the same type of humor, she decided to meet anyway.
Just didn't work for her, though. I was attracted to her, but she had a definite preference for heavy guys ("I'm a chubby-chaser" were her words)...
It does seem though that guys who're shorter than average (I am not) are at a distinct disadvantage, though. I don't know why, but it seems that for 99% of women, the guy must be relatively tall.
I *do* however think there's a double standard at judging physically. That is, if a woman states that she wants physical traits X, Y, and Z, she's more likely to get away with it, whereas the man who does the same thing is more likely to be labeled a "superficial jerk" or something along those lines.
Maybe that's only been my experience, though. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:14:48 PM | NotElvisJunior: "Speaking of web interface . . is there no EDIT button if I want to make a change in my post??!"
For a few minutes (perhaps 15) there is a Edit Post link below your own avatar next to your recent post. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:58:36 PM | | Honest, real profiles seem to be hard to come by here. They're all pretty much generic, I want this and I don't want that and if you just want a hookup keep moving. Then you send an honest sincere email greeting and it gets read and deleted. And if you do get a reply it ends up that she gets cold feet because of something to do with an ex. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/21/2008 10:58:02 PM |
I want a TALL ( even the ones who are 4'11 or 5' want a real tall man) and to me that's the funniest thing to read lol. Well yes I am short so deal with it. If I was suppose to be any taller then God would have made me since he knows best. Mikey - can we all say "short man complex"?
I'd just repeat my "therapy" suggestion. Until he's happy with himself (which it sounds like he's not, from the outside looking in) nobody else can be. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:12:36 AM | Yes, people screen by looks.
No attraction = no interest in who the person is.
My profile is pretty clear on what I am looking for. Doesn't do me a lot of good because not many people actually read profiles. Would I take an 8 or 9 if they met what I was looking for.. sure. I would also take a 4 or 5 if they had the qualities I seek as well.
In general, I think that most all people are looking for someone to share something with. Life, love, laughter, good times.. the what will be different for each person that answers. | |
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jt707
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Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 42 | |
| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:59:32 AM | | Looks can be deceiving. When a man looks at a woman the first thing they set their eyes upon is the face and then the body.On the other hand women want a tall and handsome man with a good job.Let me ask you a question,are the above people looking for love?NO.so almost 90% of the profiles are fake. true love does not need money,looks and security. true love just needs two people to get along without lying to each other.blessings will always follow.im looking for love.all i want is the simple things in life,fall inlove,get married and settle down. this is what i really want to do. BUT ALL THE HUNDREDS OF WOMEN I'VE CONTACTED,none has tried to contact me.I may have love in my heart,but i dont have what women are looking for on the outside. WE LIVE IN A MATERIAL WORLD.SO PEOPLE IN GENERAL ARE LOOKING ON THE OUTSIDE NOT THE INSIDE WHICH IS IMPORTANT. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:05:15 AM |
Upon her response I'll note that she still hasn't viewed my profile
You do realize that you can turn that feature of "viewed me" off right? Didn't you know that? I have mine turned off and I viewed your profile so I will never show up as having looked at your profile.
you ask a girl to meet you and she says "sorry, I don't date smokers".....yet didn't mention that in criteria
you ask a girl to meet you and she says "sorry but I've got to work"......a human resources administrator on a Saturday night
They are just trying to find a way to get rid of you without being mean when they say things like this.
What little there is on my profile is real. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:21:09 AM |
I think most of them are a real load of BS, saying the same thing over and over.
Have you stopped to consider that they really are not BS at all and that most people just want the same thing? That's probably the reason why most profiles sound the same. We should also consider that most people are not writers and that what they write will probably not come out sounding perfect , or exactly like what they are thinking in their heads. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/22/2008 6:44:15 AM | Have you stopped to consider that they really are not BS at all and that most people just want the same thing? That's probably the reason why most profiles sound the same. We should also consider that most people are not writers and that what they write will probably not come out sounding perfect , or exactly like what they are thinking in their heads.
I want to believe that there are truthful profiles out there. I haven't given up hope!
Edited to add that I didn't mean to sound so negative in previous post.
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:52:42 PM | thesilverdevil97 hit on a very important point here: do we truly know what we seek?
At least for those of us over 30, we have our past relationships to examine. Through real introspection, we can come to understand what worked and what didn't work. But are we sure we can make an accurate evaluation of what personality traits are required to improve the experience?
Some things are simple. No drugs, no cigarettes, maybe we know if we can handle having small children or teenagers around. If someone says she loves camping and jet skiing more than life itself, I know better than to respond. But as for the rest of it, it's often just guesswork.
The profile should be about the basics, and it should be honest, but it's more an icebreaker than anything else. After the ice-breaking, I don't learn much of anything until I start talking to someone, whether it's on the phone or in person. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:26:44 PM | | I have met 2 girls from here an niether was anything like their profiles or photos. I try to be as real as I can but some things you just have to say in person. I do try to be positive and confident but Im not always positive and confident, but I would not put that in my profile. Also I would post a pic that I thought made me look goofy, but there is a definate differance between putting your best foot forward and outright lying about who you are. | |
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| Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:45:11 PM | QUOTE They are just trying to find a way to get rid of you without being mean when they say things like this.
Oh I know that.........shyt 95% of them don't have a life or have drama and are just looking for people to play games with til one comes across with their kind of weird charisma. | |
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