| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:46:56 AM | Growing old worries me period. Alone or not. I worry about losing my freedom and of having to depend on others. I worry about ending up in some hospital or nursing home as just "that old lady in room 203".
I worry about being forgotten for hours on a bedban or having no bedpan at all and having to lay in my own bodily wastes.
I worry about being left on some stretcher down some hall... alone, scared, hungry, thirsty, freezing, in pain, my body left uncovered and exposed for all to see...my dignity and my humanity gone.
I worry of no longer being seen as a human being but simply as a case and room number...waiting and waiting endlessly for some test or procedure that I never wanted or consented to in the first place but that some doctor decided I needed because of having to follow some institution's "protocol and procedures" manual, or perhaps just to help feed his/her ego or reputation (or wallet) by making sure I don't die on their watch (or their shift as there's a lot of paper work involved in dying dontcha know).
And I worry about worrying about all that stuff and in trying to find a (legal) solution for my worries. I worry that most people seem to care more about telling me not to worry about my worries because it's not or can't be that bad (YES it is) than in trying to address my very real and seen with my own eyes worries.
And I worry that if my worries are so easily dismissed now as the ramblings of a fool when I'm still reasonably young and in full control of my mental and physical capacities, how will they be seen then?
But fortunately for me, at least I don't have to worry about that because in this case, I know exactly what to expect.
And I know for a fact that if I say or do anything to "upset" the staff or anyone with my "worries" when I'm reduced to being just the "aggressive/combative patient in room 203" and no longer the human being I used to be, I will simply be given the usual heavy dose of Haldol they normally give those patients and tied to my bed or Geri-chair "for my own safety" while the drug works it's wonders in making me into a "good and compliant" patient once more (or at least until their shifts is over).
Worries? Me??
Nah.
JMO
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 10:00:32 AM | | The best solution for solving one's worry is to change herself positively and live a healthy, happy life! I never feel lonely by myself. I am confident today and tomorrow! | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:33:53 PM | Re post 77
I am aware, first hand, of the realities described in the post (77), and I have come to accept them (for me, not for others eg a parent). They are part of life today. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:40:08 PM | | i have always feared the worse and that is growing old alone, i have been single for a long while now for the simple fact being that when i go out into my local town with friends i always seem to see the same faces out and wonder why i bother going out in the first place. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 1:03:35 PM | No matter what we're going to be alone anyway. Someone will die first.
My parents were married for nearly 50 years. It's been 5 years since my father has passed and my mom is alone and she hates it. That is just the way it goes sometimes.
I agree there is no lonelier place than a relationship or marriage that is bad. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 2:42:35 PM | | It makes no sense to worry, only wastes energy that can be used for better things. I don't think anyone wants to face life alone, which is why sites like this exist, finding someone hopfully for the last time. | |
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Nico25
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Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 85 | |
| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 2:54:08 PM | its says that everyone got someone somewhere.
if i look my parents, they've been together for 30 years now and i found it quit spectacular since the new unions doesn't last long.
but, its ups and downs that makes a relationship. if you don't work for it, that's your deal.
.. but i hear ya, its long when you feel alone.
cheers | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:19:10 PM | If you new about The MARSHAL LAW PLAN and The ReEducation Camps, growing old would not be a subject for you, Your Priorities and how you live your life would be your greatest concern, how or if you grow old would not even enter into your thought stream...  | |
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ndulj
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Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 87 | |
| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:25:50 PM | In a word, yes.
My Mother lost my father at 49.
My Grandmother lost my Grandfather when she was 49, also.
Neither ever remarried or had or sought another LTR.
They lived to be 89 and 101 respectively.
I turn 50 in 14 days. I do not plan to spend the remainder of my life alone.
That does not mean I will settle, it just means I will continue to seek. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:31:18 PM | | Worrying is a waste of good time and energy, plus a method some people use to deprive themselves of new and interesting experiences. No, I don't bother to worry about growing old alone. I just look forward to finding out happens next. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:06:12 PM | michaela, I don't worry growing old and alone, if there is no special man to love,I can give my love more to unfortunate children .... I put love in my heart not fear.. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:32:38 PM | | Yes, I worry about growing old alone. (Being alone Now ain't exactly fun.) But, there is only so much we can do about it. Just gotta keep plugging away, I guess... | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:04:47 PM | I am older than most of you.
Until five years ago - I pretty much was always in a relationship.
At first I thought ...... ok Ron - you know what to do.
I have never ever been interested in anything but a real two way match.
I really thought I would meet a two way match within six months ......... silly boy ....... silly silly boy.
Five years later ...... things have just changed far too much from when I last looked for a match 25 years ago.
Silly boy indeed.
I won’t settle and unless I start figuring out where to go (in real life) things just are not looking that great.
Working from a home office and seldom even leaving the house ......... well that is not helping much.
Online is fun but it is just too weird. Many of the gals think guys are just trying to get into their pants. Many of the gals have so many guys coming at them - most of the guys get lost in the shuffle.
Online is great for just goofing around but ....... to me it seems it would be a total fluke to actually make a match online.
When I do go out - all I see is kids. I assume all the 45+ gals are home with ........ B.O.B. lol.
I simple hate being single but ...... we have to deal with what ever is what ever and just keep going. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/20/2008 2:04:45 AM | | I don't worry about growing old alone. Because I'll always have my family and friends who I know love me. But in the sense of never finding that "soul mate" I do wonder. It does seem almost impossible sometimes. Even at 23-years-old, I feel that life is just going away too fast. So I understand the fear. But as long as you have that support of friends and family, you will never be alone. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:42:37 AM | It occasionally flashes through my head.... until I realize that I'm not even 20 yet.
My bigger "worry" is that I'm not making the most of my time as a college student... as it seems like everybody wants to go out and party while I'd still rather take it easy. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:02:30 AM | if I chose to worry, I'd worry about being trapped in some sort of mutually disrespectful association just for the sake of not being alone.
sheesh, i always have myself to converse with | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:13:40 AM | | I don't worry about being alone. Some day that special man will cross my path because I want it to happen, so it will. You see so many older folks walking hand in hand with so much love to still give each other. It's so nice to see. I know I will have that one day. Hopefully oon.. Until then I am just enjoying each day to the fullest. Life is grand..... | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/20/2008 12:36:48 PM | OP,
It does get lonely. But getting old alone?
Not really. I figured, when I'm too old to care, I'm going rebel. I have a fantasy of setting up my easel dressed in nothing but a straw hat and painting seascapes on a nude beach.
I won't be alone for long. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:13:29 PM | | I agree with you about being more lonely when you are with someone who doesn't love you. I had rather be alone than with someone like that . You are more lonely. I have been divorced nearly 20 years and it doesn't bother me that much any more you get used to it. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:07:21 PM | HI depthepleb:
I am 65. I have been alone since my divorce in 1977, I have brought up three children, who are well educated and two have families of their own. The secret to growing old alone is to keep setting goals. I moved to Texas when I was 60 to be close to my daughter and grandchildren, not in their home but close bye. I exercise, keeps you from being depressed, I recently converted one of my bedroom into a sewing room and I am learning how to sew, next I am going to take horseback riding lessons.
I know very well about nursing home, I was a Register Nurse for 44 years and did a lot of my work in nursing homes, not a place I want to end up in, that's why I continue to exercise and two years ago I started working as a profession pet sitter.
What I am trying to say is that I never met my soul mate nor hope to. I have no idea where he is at. He might have never been born or die young. But, I continue to live as happy with myself as I can. Yes, I have three dogs and I talk to them all the time. When I get lonely, as we all do at times, I try to think about something that I have not done yet and I go and do it. And as for sex, the feeling does not go away just because your are 65 or older. So here I am , will I spend the rest of my life alone, yes, probably but as long as I have me, I will be alright. ONe more thing you must have is a sense of humor that way life with never beat you! | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:24:22 PM | OH, boy that a lot to worry about dear heart. NO matter how old you get you still have a mouth, speak up, as a retired RN, when I go to see my doctor I tell them what I want, I do not let them run over me. If you don't know what they are telling you is right or wrong for you, go research, found out also have a living will or Advance Health Care Directive. In these days, you cannot be made to take any medication that you don't want. That is why is important to stay health and mobile for as long as you can. Also in NYs and Texas it is against state law to tie anyone doen to your geri chair or any other chair, These states say that you have thr right to fall and break your neck as many time as you want. The last resort after having a care plan for falls and excecuting that care plan, is using restraints and you better have some very good documentation.
Peace | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/24/2008 10:21:42 PM | It is really nice to know that I am not alone in my thinking. Being 33 almost 34 I have not given up the idea of still meeting someone and getting married.
The thing I worry about is that it seems noone stays faithful long enough anymore to be together for the 30,40,50 years it takes to be able to care for your spouse as they grow older.
Ive had the sad experience of seeing many patients so far all alone in the nursing homes. Not everyone has families, spouses ect, so sometimes thats not always an option for everyone | |
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