| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:11:44 PM |
Maybe one day people would come to terms with the fact that *chemistry* does not make a relationship.
It's only one of several factors essential for a relationship.
Character, attitude and personality is more important.
Gent I could have not said it any better!
Reading countless threads on this chemistry and to think is like its the only key but you forget your mind has not caught up with your brain.
Yet you are convinced that this chem will surly carry on forever,not!
The other is not quite sure but they both plow ahead for the emotional ride nonetheless!
imo I think this is the biggest misconception here and people get p-o cuz they feel they been fooled!
So many get caught up in this and get flamed and now are scratching there head and saying how so and so could be so blank blank!
And after a few weeks or months and the dust has settle of this instant chem turns into reality,oh! What were we thinking or were we thinking,hum...
Why? cuz in a real relationship with all the particulars will not happen in the fast food lane.
It may be convenient and presto but if you look for a loving relationship, take it easy,but take it. If not it will take you.... | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:31:48 PM | I think from reading your post that you fell too fast for him. He's not as great as you thought. I think you built him up in your mind and he "wasn't all that". jmho wipe those tears and forget about it. Next time, be a little tougher even if you decide to be intimate. Don't fall down the rabbit hole so fast, but go out and have a blast.   | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/25/2008 7:03:58 PM | Eastendwoman: I thank you for your wise, wise, words. I feel proud of the kind of woman whose ideas are clear. I've never met you in the past; probably will never ever meet you in the future but I feel you my sister. God bless your heart! Sorah | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/25/2008 7:23:59 PM | "i dont really understand the dating games people play."
It is simple. Perfection.
All anyone wants now is perfection. Good luck. Move on to someone who doesn't have stars in their eyes and a sharp knife hidden on their person. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:00:25 PM | I learned a long time ago that chemistry isn't what its all crapped up to be. There is sexual chemistry w/o any intention of a committment. There is dysfunctional chemistry, when we keep attracting the same person in a different body, only to repeat the cycle over and over BECAUSE it feels familar or some might call it "normal." Then we have a soul connection/chemistry which develops over time. You start out as friends first, then it eventually gets more intimate, not the other way around. Genuine love has to grow over time. Whenever we base a relationship on sex, its bound to end bad. Yes there should be a mutual attraction, but as you spend more time together that attraction becomes either better or worse. The chemistry will either grow or fizzal out.
On another note, there are so many sites that tell men and women how to pick-up the opposite sex for the purpose of sex or some other personal gain. I actually subscribed to one site to see what was being said. Its a game of emotional mind play. I tell you what you want to hear so I get what I want. Apparantly there are enough nieve' people out there that fall victim to their trap. And they wonder why we have trust issues.....Geez.
k | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:31:53 PM | Hi OP,
Sorry this happen to you, it really sucks & I don't think I would be so nice & friendly but thats me.
I read the forums alot, I have noticed this happens alot, I keep wondering if some of the guys aren't using the ladies as a stepping stone, You know you look around on this site, & there is some really pretty women on here, Are some of the guys using some of the ladies for practice for the next best thing. Do they think they can always do better after the newness wears off. makes you wonder
Blessings always, be safe
hugs always. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/26/2008 12:05:31 AM | You liked him more than he liked you. It happens and it hurts. I am sorry because it isn't the nicest feeling in the world to realise the person who was making you smile all week has suddenly decided that you're not it anymore.
Move on and don't stay friends with this guy or you will be forever "hoping" that you can get back to where you were before. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:34:29 AM | It was suggested earlier by another poster the OP put out too fast, and the OP didn't deny it anywhere that I've read. What the gentleman did is quite commonplace. He took what was offered and then got bored to go onto the next easy bit of fun he could charm out of her pants.
Men are hunter gatherers by nature, one of the things we hunt is females of our own species. Don't think so? Head to a bar any night of the week. Whole sections of cities are crowded with male hunters on Thurs/Fri/Sat. The easy prey isn't much fun after a short while, and we figure if it was that easy for us, it's been easy a lot. We hunt, but only want to keep what is worthy, who keeps the small fish they catch or the small deer? You keep the trophy, and she's not an easy one to obtain.
Is it a decent thing to do ( I havent done so in a few years, but I used to lead the hunt pack when such things were important to me), I don't believe so, but it does serve a purpose. That is to weed out the ones that are easy for everyone. Unless the man is unique or Brad Pitt, if a woman is easy for one, it's likely she's easy for anyone. There's girls for fun, and girls you bring home to meet mom, it's always been this way.
Or on the small chance the OP didn't put out at all (which I logically find unlikely from what I've read) the man could have lost interest because all he's interested in is sex and not the trophy woman. He moved on to get sex somewhere else. Either way, it's good for you that it happened because in either scenario you weren't meant for him and vice versa. It's always better to know sooner than later. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:58:46 AM | Yes, this situation baffles us all the time.
1. He thrives on the excitement of a new relationship, then once he gets what he wants out of it, he is done.
2. He isn't seeking long term potential. So once it starts going there, he bails out.
3. He thrives on attention. He loves the attention you give him, therefore why he still wants to be "just friends".
If he can't give you what you want in the relationship, I would suggest ending it. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:17:19 PM |
He thrives on the excitement of a new relationship, then once he gets what he wants out of it, he is done
It's true what they say about men enjoying the chase.
Motorhead Lyrics - The Chase is Better Than the Catch
You know I'm bad, the times I've had,
I've got a bad reputation,
I don't care, I get my share,
Don't feel no deprivation,
The more I get the better it is,
I like it fine, I like a little whizz,
Treat 'em like ladies, that's a fact,
You know The Chase Is Better Than The Catch
The silver tongued devil, demon lynch,
You know just what I'm doing,
I like a little innocent ****,
You know I ain't just screwing,
I ain't.
I love you baby, know you're too much,
I like it fine, I feel your touch,
But your appearance don't hold no class,
You know The Chase Is Better Than The Catch
A little beauty, I love you madly,
Come on home with me,
I know you're hot, I know what you've got,
You know I want to shake your tree,
Come on honey, touch me right there,
Come on honey, don't you get scared,
Come on honey, let me get you in the sack,
You know The Chase Is Better Than The Catch
All right! Let me hear ya!
I can't hear ya! | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:19:03 PM |
Reading countless threads on this chemistry and to think is like its the only key but you forget your mind has not caught up with your brain.
Yet you are convinced that this chem will surly carry on forever,not!
Belief in chemistry in a relationship comes from too many stoopid ****es reading Cosmopolitain and watching Sex in the City and thinking it's all real. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:39:34 PM | Hi, I just got back on here after a small hiatus..
But I just want to say, (sorry I'm saying this in ALL caps since it seems that NOBODY read it!) I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN! Yes, we did kind of far and fooled around, but I did not put out. And in hindsight, I wish we had not gone out drinking (more like a pub crawl with friends) because I did believe that impaired my judgment.
The thing I was wondering - a couple of my male friends mentioned this - I had rejected his advances of having sex, even though we were getting hot and heavy. Would that have p*ssed him of, perhaps thinking I'm a tease? (that wasn't my intent, I just wasn't ready) A couple of my male friends said that I killed his libido and ego by that. I wouldn't know?
Otherwise, yes, I do agree that perhaps all is he interested was in the sex - or wanted some easy hook up. So I didn't understand why he still wanted to stay in touch with me. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:50:04 PM | | I hate to always be so negative on these forums, but after I hear the same things coming from someone else that I have been wondering, it is quite enlightening. It sounds to me that he likes "hanging out" with you, but is waiting around for something better. It is not an issue of being "emotionally unavailable", because I am pretty sure if someone he wants to get close to comes along, he will suddenly become "available". | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:07:57 PM | a couple years ago I met a guy and we hit it off . Started dating and it was pretty whirwind straight away. But it changed for me after 3 weeks. He got very needy, wanted me to meet his parents, and then I started to see dealbreakers, some silly like the way he ate with his mouth open, and others more important like he seemed quite a selfish guy.
There is a lot to learn about when dating someone new. True colors start to show. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 10/7/2008 11:43:36 PM | | I almost started an IDENTICAL THREAD TOPIC from a guy's perspective: "Amazing Chemistry with Girl - to later be dumped. Why?" A girl that I have been emailing for 3 months from POF finally met up for a 10 km walk and a nice Ukranian dinner. We had a wonderful time chatting, hanging out, and enjoying each other's company. I thanked her for the date by email and 3 days later she said she just wants to be friends. Your story seems so similar to my story. I feel for you. I don't know the answer either, but I do feel your pain. You deserve a guy who will truly and deeply care for you. Wait for him. Hope that helps you out. Blessings. | |
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VAPurr
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Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 67 | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 12/23/2008 9:10:47 PM | | Well my two cents worth.....I feel he is a Player . Which is not your fault. Plus he is emotionally unavaliable....He chooses not to tell you ,however it sounds like he wishs to keep you on a string and have control of your feelings. If it were me; I would try to do my best and not let him be important in my life nor make it important what he may think.now ,and in the past . It sounds like you gave from the heart . There is nothing wrong with that. You are a beauitful , honest person , and you done what your heart told you to do. So be true to youself and be gratefull, for who you are.....a beauitful loving person. This is how I see this situation from my point of view not to be judgemental of anyone. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 12/23/2008 10:35:55 PM | Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
I`m very sorry this happened to you, but do listen to what others are telling you here, there is alot of wisdom, as *wisdom does come with age* as they say !
You moved in to fast....follow your heart..sure!! ... but don`t forget to take your brain with you...he`s a player !! It seems he knew exactly what he wanted, and said and did what he knew would get it...at least this is what I`m seeing. As far as being really good friends and hanging out with him now, sure why not ! but make sure he`s not going to get you for friends with benefits now, or you`ll be suffering another broken heart.
Be good to yourself, you deserve it
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 12/23/2008 11:08:57 PM | | He may be an insincere coward with an agenda. If his agenda was fulfilled, he moved on. Men generally love a challenge. I'm sorry OP~ sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, online. Perhaps the next one will be right for you. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 2/2/2009 8:58:49 PM | | be careful op, i had something similar happen to me and i went out with him for the 2nd time,and noticed the distance thing starting again so i ended it..he also wanted to "hang out"..I can't explain it either..maybe he's afraid of commitment more then he thought?..i wish you luck but don't be fooled. | |
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| Amazing chemistry with guy - to later be dumped. Why?
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:34:40 AM | Hi weezygirl,
I know exactly how you are feeling. It happened to me. Met a guy that I thought was nice, goodlooking, nice body had a great first date he asked me for a second date and then he didn't ask for a third date said we would keep in touch. I sent him an email the same day but in the evening letting him know I had a really nice time and it was nice seeing him again and do you know he never even responded he read the email but he just deleted it out like I was a nobody. But my mistake was I slept with him on our first date, and the second date. An when I send him emails he doesnt respond so I guess he played me. | |
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