| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:15:22 AM | AS I'm reading this thread I started to get really sad for this little girl, but not for the reason some of you true sickos think. I used to love to crawl in bed and/or cuddle w/ my dad on a weekend morning. Sometimes it was both parents and sometimes only my dad. Sometimes our entire family would be in the bed together. I come from a non-divorced household and I was never molested in any way, by anyone, growing up. We're affectionate within our family and there was and there is nothing psycho, pedophilic, creepy or improper about it.
And perhaps a re-read of the orig. post is worthwhile. My read was completely opposite of the poster SleepingBeauty's above. The dad isn't denying his daughter a bed - she said she didn't want one.
I've read that divorce for a child that age is much harder than for children a few years older and younger. My guess is the daughter, now only seeing her father on weekends, is feeling a bit insecure with her life and fractured family and feels the need for extra reassurance and physical contact.
Newborn babies die without human touch. It's not a need we outgrow.
how creepy - pedophiles and their "in denial" suppports are out and about in this thread. look how upset they get, crying that "the system" will ruin their families.
anyone with half a brain and any common sense and decency realizes that a father to deny his 9 yr old daughter her own bed is a psycho pedophile. anyone who supports it is most likely one too. geez you people are transparent. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:43:13 AM | I just re-read the OP-er's two posts about the situation and feel the need to change my opinoin slightly. I now read it that she sleeps in his bed 7 of 7 nights.
While that's still not creepy, it's more a boundaries issue this man is having difficulty with, and perhaps using his daughter to fill the empty spot in his bed after he's experienced 2 divorces (if I read that right, the kids have different moms).
I agree that the man needs to get his daughter her own bed, but since I'm not a child psychologist, I'd leave it up to a professional how to go about weaning her off the current situation. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:01:52 AM | trailgirl,
cuddling with your parents in their bed on weekend morning sounds healthy and loving. even if the 9 yr old daughter says she doesn't want her own bed/bedroom, which i don't believe unless she is intimidated into it, the father needs to make the decision to provide the bed. last i checked 9yr olds don't make those type of decisions. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2009 1:43:42 PM | | Yet this wouldn't be an issue if it were a 9 yr old boy sleeping with his mother I am sure........ at least not for the same reasons. I think it is great for a little girl to have a close bond with daddy just as they would their mother. But because it is a man, it becomes an issue of sexual abuse. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:09:23 PM | | I would say its more of a problem with the daughter that has not learned to accept being alone, and the father not knowing how to deal with it, then with the father being creepy. Nothing some outside help might not cure. He just has to be man enough to request the assistance. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:33:28 PM |
I would say its more of a problem with the daughter that has not learned to accept being alone, and the father not knowing how to deal with it, then with the father being creepy. Nothing some outside help might not cure. He just has to be man enough to request the assistance.
This child has a bedroom at her mother's house. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:18:25 PM | My son sleeps with me. His dad sleeps on the other side of the house since we're not married or dating in anyway. Just roommates. My son is 5. The only reason he sleeps with me is because we have a 2 bedroom house (converted the dining room into a bedroom for the kids' dad since he's the only one that can deal with the weather from having the entire room basically be windows) and my daugther has my son's old room. I don't feel comfortable with her sleeping with me since she's only a year and I'm afraid I'll roll on her. My son is older, bigger, and easier to feel if I roll over... The master bedroom is too small to facilitate the crib, dresser, nightstand, and queen size bed...
As for a 9 year old... She's getting too old. She'll be hitting puberty within the next 4 years and that's just...weird... Some girls even mature at 9. My aunt did... She got made fun of in school too for having boobs in 5th grade... But, yes, 9 is a little odd. Just not creepy odd.... Does he still have feelings for his ex wife? Maybe its a way to keep her closer to him... | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:41:03 PM |
My son sleeps with me. His dad sleeps on the other side of the house since we're not married or dating in anyway. Just roommates. My son is 5. The only reason he sleeps with me is because we have a 2 bedroom house (converted the dining room into a bedroom for the kids' dad since he's the only one that can deal with the weather from having the entire room basically be windows) and my daugther has my son's old room. I don't feel comfortable with her sleeping with me since she's only a year and I'm afraid I'll roll on her. My son is older, bigger, and easier to feel if I roll over... The master bedroom is too small to facilitate the crib, dresser, nightstand, and queen size bed...
As for a 9 year old... She's getting too old. She'll be hitting puberty within the next 4 years and that's just...weird... Some girls even mature at 9. My aunt did... She got made fun of in school too for having boobs in 5th grade... But, yes, 9 is a little odd. Just not creepy odd.... Does he still have feelings for his ex wife? Maybe its a way to keep her closer to him...
This is totally unsolicited, and feel free to take it with a grain of salt, but my parents did this at one point in my life and it was the freakin' weirdest thing I ever experienced as a child. Try explaining THAT one to your friends, their parents and teachers. Ugh. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:48:47 PM | The man has 3 bedrooms. There is a time when autonomy needs to take place. Depending on what is happening emotionally in the family, would constitute what needs to take place. If this is a new home or the child is having nightmares, the security of a parent may need to take place to comfort the child temporarily. However, anything long term would be enabling the child to not deal with her emotions and the child may become too dependent on the parent and later on confuse the relationship and become extremely attached and possessive over the parent if they should later on try to include a person in their life. Out of love for the child, the parent should gently but firmly bring the child to her room, tuck her in, kiss her goodnight, possibly put a nightlight, a stuffed animal for her to hold and tell the child that he will look forward to seeing her in the morning for breakfast. My 7 yr old son was very attached to me and fought to sleep with me. I let him then sleep on the floor in my room for a few days and then eventually brought him to his room, tucked him in and kissed him goodnight. It was not without a struggle though. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2009 11:36:13 PM |
I let him then sleep on the floor in my room for a few days and then eventually brought him to his room, tucked him in and kissed him goodnight. It was not without a struggle though.
I did a version of this with my 2 year old, except I laid on the floor in her room until she fell asleep. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/21/2009 12:21:45 AM | | Well, unfortuantely, we can't afford to move. Other wise we would have a LONG time ago. My kids' dad's room is too cold in the winter, and too hot in the summer for the kids or I to sleep in there because of all the windows. We have a window AC in there and its still hot as hell on the hot days... A space heater doesn't work in the winter either. That's with the single vent in the room. In my daughter's room (which my son gave up for his sissy), there's only room for the crib and the dresser. VERY small room. Plus my son seems to be afraid of that room at night. Its the same bedroom he's been sleeping in his whole life. He has nightmares no matter what we do. We've tried one of us sleeping in the bed and the other on the floor, music, whatever you can think of. He says there's monsters in his closet. We "get rid" of the mean monsters, but it doesn't help. He even did this at my old apartment a couple years ago... So, he sleeps with me, and his sister sleeps soundly in her room. As soon as I can move, I will. Right now, it works. Everyone gets a good night's sleep, he doesn't wake up throwing up like he did when we tried him sleeping on the couch... I know our house is too small. There's not much I can do about it right now though... | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/21/2009 6:16:57 PM | | As the majority of abuse, worldwide, is mother on child. I, for one, am far less concerned for the girls welfare in the arms of a loving father. I can't help wondering what motives lie behind the "creepy" assumptions of impropriety. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:03:00 PM |
As the majority of abuse, worldwide, is mother on child. I, for one, am far less concerned for the girls welfare in the arms of a loving father.
The majority of abuse, worldwide, is mother on child only when counting all types of abuses, including verbal abuse and punishment abuse.
However, the vast majority of sexual abuse, worldwide, is perpetrated by men, not woman.
Also, In Canada, statistics from 2002 shows that 85% of all the victims of sexual offense (including sexual assault) are female, which is why this case is especially suspicious, with the son having his own bed but not the 9 years old daughter. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:59:21 PM |
I went out with a man that seemed fairly nice, has been divorced for 2+ years, but mentioned in passing that his 9 year old daughter never uses her bed. She sleeps with him every night. He has her alone every weekend. This gave me the heeby-jeebies. While there is probably nothing bad going on, I still wonder if that isn't a tad old to be sleeping with her father. He mentioned he hasn't even bought her a bed in his 3 bedroom house because she said she didn't want one. Does anyone else think this might raise some red flags?
Two conflicting stories in a first post...
1). "She sleeps with him every night" and "He has her alone every weekend"
2). "His 9 year old daughter never uses her bed" and "He hasn't even bought her a bed"
Does the above poster feel uncomfortable that her "target's" attention is somewhat deflected?
My own experiences in dating and corresponding via email, since my original break-up, is that no female has ever considered that my primary consideration is for my children. Perhaps I've just been unlucky. | |
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| At what age is it creepy if a man is sleeping with his daughter?
Posted: 7/22/2009 12:57:53 AM | The majority of abuse, worldwide, is mother on child only when counting all types of abuses, including verbal abuse and punishment abuse.
However, the vast majority of sexual abuse, worldwide, is perpetrated by men, not woman.
Again CS, omitting a few key facts. For example, the fact that those statistics also show that most men doing the abuse are "mom's live-in boyfriend", not the children's fathers.
Would "letting your boyfriend having his way with your daughter" count as verbal abuse or punishment abuse?
So, since moms are the ones doing the most abuse of all types, and mom's boyfriends are the ones doing the most sexual abuse...
The natural conclusion is that children are safest when they're with their fathers. | |
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