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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 7:40:00 AM | Actually, with my experience with Christian, I had really seen no difference at least in their behavior when it came to dating.
Same games, same not calling you when they say they will or not returning calls, etc , etc.
I have witnessed hypocrisy among Christians as well. But Christians aren't perfect either and of course under more close scrutiny of non-Christians of course.
I heard that Christians who used to go to church suddenly stop going because, well, "There's hypocrites there." But that's like throwing the baby out with the bathwater though. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:55:54 AM | I think it all boils down to an hypocrisy that SOME self-labeled Christians have. It's a form of dishonesty and deceit. I think few of us are seeking someone with those qualities.
Simply using the "Christian" drop down choice doesn't bother me and does not make me shy away. (I consider myself a very spiritual person, believe in God and always try to live by the Golden Rule, but I do not attend church even though I did for many years.) However, when the profile is filled with singing their own self-righteous praises and contains a list of "sins" they will not tolerate in others, that raises an enormous red flag to me. The Bible tells us to "judge not"....that there is but one judge and that is God. Obviously they didn't read those sections.
I was actually contacted by one "good Christian gentleman" yesterday (wish I had kept his email so I could remember his profile name and look up the exact line in his profile) but his profile said something about being a "good Christian" and how he loves Jesus "almost as much as I love breast(sic). I can't help it, they're so beautiful." OMG! I thought I would puke!
I think some feel if they rant about what a great Christian they are, they will attract a good Christian. The problem I see is the TRUE good Christian they might attract may not want to deal with the self-righteous and unforgiving attitude they seem to have.
I don't want a perfect man....I'm not a perfect woman. I do, however, want a man who is honest and can admit his imperfections as I do mine. A man who has a love and compassion for others.....not one who holds himself above everyone else. That, in my book, is a true Christian.
Rose Mary | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 11:10:01 AM | I have known this one guy for years who just happens to be on this site, and is a pastor. Or claims to still be anyway....
After him chasing me for about 5 years now, I finaly agreed to meet at my place to talk. I had no reason not to trust him, he's a pastor right?
He showed up with two bottles of wine and strawberries. (A long standing joke between us for years.) And then goes to tell me he has needs like any other man, and the next thing I know he's like a damn octopus!!! Defentaly not like any other pastor I ever met.... And yes...he was asked to leave and not return....
He's darn lucky I didn't call the law on him!
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:45:30 PM | As far as I know, Church is just another spot like the gym, bookstore, bar, etc. in terms of meeting possible mates.
There is NO GUARANTEE that the man or woman you meet there is going to be the ideal mate with good moral grounding and such. Like MissMewsic said, many times the ones you meet will be likely married. I don't know how it is in other religions, but in the Greek Orthodox faith, many 20 and 30somethings go to church every week when they're looking for a spouse, figuring that's where they'll meet that "nice Greek girl" or "good Greek boy" to marry. Problem is most of the time these are the same people who are out every weekend drinking like fish, cheating, and/or treating anyone they're dating badly. Not knocking all Greeks, but more illustrating how being in Church isn't a guarantee the person is a good mate.
When someone tells you to try to meet someone at Church, I only suggest it if you're INTO the whole religion thing. If your faith is strong and you like to go, then try out a GROUP of sorts. Do charity work that your Church or faith might sponsor. Join a Bible Study group or some kind of social group of sorts. The goal really is to socialize with other people and then find someone possibly ideal...then get to know them through dating and see if they are ideal.
If you're not strong with your faith or into the Church thing, then don't go as a means to meet someone. You'll find bigger problems when you find someone and now want to stay home Sunday morning, or worse think the guy/girl is hot, charming, and fun, but maybe they believe in celibacy, or are way too moral high-ground for you.
Met one girl from California. Beautiful woman I will say, and she seemed to like me, but I knew it wouldn't happen (did not lead her on in any way, shape or form) because her faith is very high and she's very Republican in political views as well as the type who deeply believes in Creationism. Not dissing her beliefs, but it shows we wouldn't be compatible and even how sometimes you should be careful what you ask for.
Treat Church as a social avenue if you want...but not as a guarantee of a good mate. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:22:37 PM | I'd like to challenge people who read this thread to go to this web site.www.persecution.com See how other Christians live in other parts of the World. Also to the fellow who mentioned the Catholic Church, that"s only here in the USA (Priests who have sex with Boys etc) You dont hear of that in Italy or Latin American Countrys you"d get killed for doing that horribile stuff... there..I'd also like to add to the Women who wrote this Thread do you call your self a Christian? If so your Just as bad as the men you mentioned- if anyone cant understand what i meant by that then seek and you will find... If your Not a Christian then its simple interview Guys and ask them what they believe, theres still plenty of athesistic people here and the World, hindus /muslims/buddisht/new agers/non religious etc.... and i
"d'd like to add again are you a Noble Women? can we find fault in you?... im certainly not justifing bad Christian behavior.but he who throws stones should not live in GLASS HOUSES. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:32:21 PM | MissMewsic,
a dear college gal-pal of mine ask something of me that only a truly loving and caring friend could ask. I'm standing in line to get an assignment reviewed when 'Nick' (yes, it's a girl) comes up to me, drapes her arms around me and leans her sweet and pretty head on my shoulder. I nuzzle up to her in that friendly but familiar way we had, as only good friend can, my arm delicately but firmly around her waist. Then, while the whole class is watching, and she looks up at me with those precious blue eyes of her and asks, in a voice deep and warm, but betraying her inward feelings, that one question all women are probably dying to ask even now.
"Ulysses," she asks, and I reply, a smirk on my face but tenderness in my voice, "what is it Nick?" "WHY ARE ALL MEN SCUM!!?"
I could have died of laughter but kept it together, mostly. I turn around, and face her, and say, carefully and 'lovingly' (the smirk growing on my face) "BECAUSE WE'RE MEN, darn it! The Few. The Proud. SCUM!"
I'm not sure but I think we levelled the classroom just then. Nick could do that on her own when the mood hit her but when we both got into it, it was hilarious. The point being, is that no one is perfect and matter how "Christian" a man claims to be, the results of their actions will prove it in the end.
I cannot answer for the behaviour of other supposed Christians, men or women, but I have too and will give an account for mine as well. It's know this and fearing this that separates real Christians from the frauds. I've, likewise, met supposedly Christian women that were anything but, though I bet there are more 'scummy' Christian men than women. Most of them women turned out to be scammers, mind you, but you only know through experience. AS for supposedly Christian women I've met in person, again, proof is only in the pudding.
That said, it's a crapshoot either way. You can only glean what you can through a profile. You, also, as a Christ-led person should also have some discretion and spiritual guidance by virtue of the Holy Spirit dwelling within you too. IF a profile seems to good to be true, it probably is. Also, a false Christian usually leaves clues too.
Still, when the heart rules the mind it doesn't matter what you say or do. I've made that mistake as well. It's also part of being human and we either learn from it and move on, or we don't and keep repeating that mistake over and over again.
Good luck and God bless.
Ulysses. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:40:39 PM | When someone uses the term "christian" it is a label like any other "good guy", "nice guy" (GAG...haha). They may or may not be, and there's a wide range of what individuals consider "christian".
Someone going to church doesn't make them a christian any more than going into the kitchen makes someone a gourmet chef.
Whatever someone may say or make claims to, it's up to the other person to come to their own conclusions by interacting with them and observing their behavior. When words and actions aren't a match, there's something wrong. We all should be aware and alert, and listen to our "gut" and instincts.
A person who's genuine and sincere will invest the time to let you get to know them and make up your own mind. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:14:11 PM | Dub, I'm with ya there
I'm Catholic and if went to confession
Well, i can just say that I'd be in hell in no time.  
but I follow my belief an do things in my community.
btw....I don't rape little boys, I am going to hell because of it because it seems to be a catholic pasttime  | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:23:56 PM | hey op??....im a Christian....wanna make out??   | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:40:01 PM | Sweetbabeblues, what you experienced is called "the laying on of hands..."
But seriously, I tend to lean towards men who say they are "Christian", just because I believe in a Higher Power.....
But I don't like "crazy, mean Christians" -- in either the male or female variety......and there are plenty of them on dating sites, and in the "real world!" | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:47:19 PM | | Personally, I've found that a true christian has no problem waiting. One who isn't, does. Find the true ones...the ones who believe and you won't have a problem. ;) | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 4:30:53 PM | Touchy subject...and after my experiences with christian and non christian men, I ask myself "does he walk the walk, or just talk the talk"?
We are all fallible people. We are human, christian or not. We make mistakes.
My old pastor said several times "the church is a hospital for sinners".
There are good men out there and there are the not so good. Just like there are good women out there and not so good. Dating at an older age (and that is coming from an older person's perspective) is difficult. There is a lot more water under the bridge, baggage, and you don't "grow together" as easy as you did when you were younger .
Were just human.
There an old bible verse.."don't throw your pearls before swine".
Sometimes you can pick out the swine right away. It's those times when (christian or not, and this goes for male or females) when they reel you in, and then you find out.... then you feel like an idiot and ticked feeling like you've been duped. When they were just being themselves.
Like it or not. Heck.. that's just life... | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:02:08 PM |
I think some men use the "Christian" label to fool us into thinking they're not just trying to get laid just like any other guy.
Congratulations, OP! 
You've partially answered your own questions with this one statement.
People use labels as disguises in an effort to con others
on nearly every level. Just because a person claims to
be a Christian, doesn't mean they are.
It is hard for me not to see a self proclaimed Christian man as a fraud or hypocrite when he freely does things that go against his own beliefs
What may be against the beliefs of one Christian group,
may not be against the beliefs of all of them.
Try not to blame an entire spectrum of the population for
the actions of a few. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:11:04 PM | WOW. This thread stikes close to home. Not because of men misrepresenting themselves to me, but because of my representation of myself.
I am a Christian. While married, my faith was constantly challenged by day to day living, as I had a chronically ill husband. It was my faith that got me through all those trials, and kept me faithful.
When I became sincere about my faith, the one thing that was the most clear to me was that the whole point of being a Chrisitan is this... I am a sinner in need of a savior. Period. I am suspicious of those who feel they are better than others because they are "Christian." Those are the true hypocrites. I have read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. I know its contents. I know in God's eyes that when I take the Lord's name in vain, or dishonor my mother, or take tell a white lie, or a big one, when I am angry or I lust, they are all sins in God's eyes. He does not discriminate. Gossip is a sin, gluttony is a sin, pointing out the sins of others is a judgemental attitude that is also a sin. That is the whole point. NO ONE is without sin.
Being a Christian does not make one immune from sin. We are still sinners, we just are more aware of the sin in our lives and hopefully make better choices as a consequence.
When we do fall short, we should admit it, ask forgiveness and try and do better next time. When my husband was alive my devotion to him kept me protected from one very big category, sexual sin. I don't know any single adult with a pulse who is not guilty of adultery in the biblical sense. Now that I am single, I hate to admit that I think about sex all the time. When I am not thinking about sex, I think about food. I think I have an oral fixation. I am surely going to hell now.
The bottom line, Christians are faced day to day with all possible sins and temptations. We are not immune from them and we stumble and fall. A Christian should ask forgiveness, and try and do better next time. When you are an adult, with needs and desires, sex is a big stumbling block. For that very reason, I hope to find someone, fall in love and get married again some day. In the meantime, I do the best I can, by avoiding intimate encounters, stay away from casual intimacy in dating , have not made a friend for benefits, avoid getting involved with a younger man looking for a MILF, I keep my cougar claws retracted, and make it know by my profile my goal is not to get vertical. Does that mean if I meet someone that makes my blood boil, and the sparks fly I will say, no way Jose or hit the road Jack... only time will tell.
I am human. I am a sinner. What makes one a hypocrite is the pretense that one is sinless and above temptation. Those individuals are the ones who give being a Christian a bad name. I am Widowedmom, I am a Christian and I approved this message. (my lame attempt to poke fun at political ads.) | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:59:44 PM | When I became sincere about my faith, the one thing that was the most clear to me was that the whole point of being a Chrisitan is this... I am a sinner in need of a savior. Period. I am suspicious of those who feel they are better than others because they are "Christian." Those are the true hypocrites. I have read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. I know its contents. I know in God's eyes that when I take the Lord's name in vain, or dishonor my mother, or take tell a white lie, or a big one, when I am angry or I lust, they are all sins in God's eyes. He does not discriminate. Gossip is a sin, gluttony is a sin, pointing out the sins of others is a judgemental attitude that is also a sin. That is the whole point. NO ONE is without sin.
It seems Christianity is all about making us feel bad about ourselves and that we are just not good enough. I'm not buying into that. I think I'm a really good and loving person. I believe in the golden rule - do unto others.......... I refused to live my life in constant guilt - my mother did enough of that for me. Christians in general don't seem to be very happy people either.
Being a Christian does not make one immune from sin. We are still sinners, we just are more aware of the sin in our lives and hopefully make better choices as a consequence.
When we do fall short, we should admit it, ask forgiveness and try and do better next time. When my husband was alive my devotion to him kept me protected from one very big category, sexual sin. I don't know any single adult with a pulse who is not guilty of adultery in the biblical sense. Now that I am single, I hate to admit that I think about sex all the time. When I am not thinking about sex, I think about food. I think I have an oral fixation. I am surely going to hell now.
The bottom line, Christians are faced day to day with all possible sins and temptations. We are not immune from them and we stumble and fall. A Christian should ask forgiveness, and try and do better next time. When you are an adult, with needs and desires, sex is a big stumbling block. For that very reason, I hope to find someone, fall in love and get married again some day. In the meantime, I do the best I can, by avoiding intimate encounters, stay away from casual intimacy in dating , have not made a friend for benefits, avoid getting involved with a younger man looking for a MILF, I keep my cougar claws retracted, and make it know by my profile my goal is not to get vertical. Does that mean if I meet someone that makes my blood boil, and the sparks fly I will say, no way Jose or hit the road Jack... only time will tell.
I believe that Christian or not, there is a price to pay for sex outside of marriage. But it's not because the bible says so - it's just common sense - especially for young uneducated people who are not ready for all that it brings - unplanned pregnancy, unplanned life etc. I did my share of casting my pearls when I was younger, but I also knew I didn't know what I wanted in a partner, did not want children, and was not ready to make those lifetime commitments yet. Being a nun didn't sound like much fun either. Throughtout my 30's and 40's I have not been afraid to be alone and have spent years at a time choosing to be celibate. I didn't miss men all that much, but I also felt pretty dead inside. I'd like to know at what point in history it became evil for a woman to indulge in sex, and it became even worse for man to really be interested in a commited relationship? Do you really think God wants us all to be alone and lonely?
I'm a good and loving person that knows what she wants - I refuse to let anyone tell me that's wrong. I'm not going to go through life bitter and mistrusting.
I have heard the "hospital for sinners" thing before. To me if someone's life is that much of a mess and that much chaos, perhaps dating shouldn't be the biggest priority on their list. My life is pretty good, peaceful, and content - there's only one thing missing and that's why I'm here. Men whose live's are mess confuse me because the last thing that would be on mind is finding a date or a mate in their situation. I think I may have dodged a bullet with this one because I am finding out about PPO's with his 2nd wife and his first wife filed a report against him this week. I'm hearing a lot of anger when he talks about his ex's. I'm thinking there is a lot more than meets the eye. I want a man with no MAJOR character or personality defects so I guess I should avoid Christians in the future. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:19:44 PM |
.. Hmmm .. it sounded like you can find bad people in HEAVEN too ... ..
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 8:20:26 PM |
I want a man with no MAJOR character or personality defects so I guess I should avoid Christians in the future.
Sweetheart it aint going to happen! We all have character flaws and defects, and it's all a matter of perception as to what is MAJOR, and what is Minor.
Bottom line.. you don't have to accept anyone! You can go on being single and judging people as hypocritcal.
and the "hospital for sinner" line was used mearly to point out that we are all flawed, and many go to chuch to seek redemption, forgiveness and acceptance despite their flaws.
Fact is a person shouldn't go to church to shop for a mate thinking theyre going to get Mr Perfect which seems to be what your looking for.
Like I said.. it aint going to happen. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/23/2008 8:27:13 PM | Wow--what a blanket statement....
<div class="quote"> Christians in general don't seem to be very happy people either
I would say the exact opposite.....in general lol | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:40:58 AM | Yep this thread turned out exactly as I predicted. A religion(particularly Christian) bashing thread.Way to go op you have shown yourself to be judgemental, one who generalizes,and close minded. You refuse to see things as they are because you are so close minded that you want to be right no matter how wrong you are. There are good and bad people everywhere. There are people who use labels on themselves that instill trust in others only to take advantage of others. You will find this happens not only in religion but in all areas of life. But then again that's not what you want to hear, so by all means continue on in your ignorance. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:11:08 AM | They don't seem to be against sex outside of marriage, drug use, or alcohol any more than the average bear.
No, but they will steal your pic-a-nic basket! | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:45:41 AM |
Yep this thread turned out exactly as I predicted. A religion(particularly Christian) bashing thread.Way to go op you have shown yourself to be judgemental, one who generalizes,and close minded. You refuse to see things as they are because you are so close minded that you want to be right no matter how wrong you are. There are good and bad people everywhere. There are people who use labels on themselves that instill trust in others only to take advantage of others. You will find this happens not only in religion but in all areas of life. But then again that's not what you want to hear, so by all means continue on in your ignorance.
Actually I do agree with you MaryPoppins. I just haven't come across any good ones yet and wanted to know they actually exist.
If anyone's ever seen the movie "The Apostle" with James Duvall, it shows how a man can do something bad in one moment of anger but still do a lot of good in the world.
Sweetheart it aint going to happen! We all have character flaws and defects, and it's all a matter of perception as to what is MAJOR, and what is Minor.
Bottom line.. you don't have to accept anyone! .
My definition of MAJOR would be someone (he seemed so normal) using Jim Beam  to deal with the unresolved anger towards ex wives, restraining orders, and an arrest warrant that goes along with them, and then telling me I should get my love from God and not from a man. The thing is, I did accept him before I knew about these things this past week. It is him who didn't accept me.
You can go on being single and judging people as hypocritcal
My life is usually pretty drama free - I guess I'll have to stay single to keep it that way.
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:59:31 AM | Sepia, you said... "Also the worse bigots here in Boston never miss a Sunday in church to pat themselves on the back and assure themselves what great "Christians" they are...
There are too many hypocrites and people wearing that label as some holier than thou badge of honor..when in fact they are no better than anyone else..."
The Bible states that God honors they prayers and fasting done in private, not in public. Going to church on Sundays to be seen, fasting and being all sad about it, so that everyone KNOWS you are fasting... preaching on the corner just to show how devout you are... all these things according to God, already have their reward in earthly recognition. It's what one does in private, praying, fasting, etc... that will bring rewards showered upon thee from Almighty God.
We don't pray to show others, but to develop a relationship with our Father. It's not a show... it's private communication. ;-) I am still a young Christian, but I love going to church, and I've been listening to what Pastor says, and working the best I can, to implement it in my own personal life... not the public one!  | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:09:16 AM | | A real Christian man would not be dating heathen. That much I do know. Whatever happened to not being unequally yoked? | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:37:19 AM |
It seems Christianity is all about making us feel bad about ourselves and that we are just not good enough. I'm not buying into that. I think I'm a really good and loving person. I believe in the golden rule - do unto others.......... I refused to live my life in constant guilt - my mother did enough of that for me. Christians in general don't seem to be very happy people either.
I have to agree, from my observation for most people it is true. Just because people smile a lot in public doesn't mean much it's what happens behind closed doors. I used to be Christian and it has done a lot damage to me. I truly believe the bible is the evil, only because there's lies in there. If you don't believe me go and learn about the Hebrew text. It was the Roman Catholics who added lies and twisted the bible.
Thankfully I read the bible enough to wonder how all this can make sense. It really didn't add up to me. I did however find something that enlightened me to the truth. This book I read answers all my questions whereas the bible never could really answer them.
I have nothing against Christians, not a single thing, even if they don't want to be friends with me that's ok with me too. | |
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