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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 10:49:41 AM | | From my personal experiences, the guys who start the whole relgious fervor preaching to impress me into dating them,have been the biggest forward letches I have run into. If they ask me the question "do you go to church?" or start bragging about all of their philanthropic activities to impress,it is a huge warning sign. I am sorry to say that they are usually using it to cover up a more than average immorality. Too bad to use religion like that. Huge red flag. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 10:53:40 AM | I do volunteer work at a shelter for abused women and children, and I also work part-time in a facility for mentally ill adults.
Some of the cruelest abuses of both women, children, and the mentally ill have come from people who call themselves "Christians", and who use their Bibles to beat others into submission. And both male and female "Christians" are equally of this.
It horrifies me, because I am a Christian, and in the form of Christiaity that I practice, we are told, and I believe, (Peter 3:8-9) Finally, live in harmony, share the suffeirng of those who suffer, be affectionate to one another, and be kind and gentle, not rendering evil for evil, nor raiing for railing, but instead of these, render blessing, for to this end you have been called that you may inherit a blessing."
Now the Christian man who lives by that is the Christian man for me! | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 11:31:53 AM | | I am a christian and tried just dating "christian" men for several years. That is a very broad term I found out. Most of the men I dated who called themsevles chritians were just as fast to try to get you into the sack, as men who didn't claim the term. It was confusing. I find getting to know a man, and finding out his real values is a much better way of seeing if we can get along and if he will respect what I believe. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:08:49 PM | How sad.
Allow me a few observations.
Labelling ones self as "Christian" implies a belief in, and a following of, the teachings of Jesus Christ, and a conviction that He was the son of God sent to ransom mankind of our sins. It doesn't mean that we're inherently better than anyone else. The apostle Paul was a murderer, and a kidnapper of early followers of Christ (a bounty hunter, more or less) before he was struck blind on the road to Damascus, and converted. David was an adulterer and a murderer.
People misrepresent themselves in relationships all the time, in all sorts of ways. A true Christian lives his/her life in such a way as to reflect glory upon God. Certainly using ones religion to misrepresent ones intentions would seem to me to be a good way to go to curry dis favor with God. Not good.
On the other hand, as others have pointed out, being a Christian does not insulate us from sin. We are human, we sin often and seriously. However, IMHO, there is a difference with a true Christian. That is, when he sins, he acknowledges it and asks forgiveness, AND redoubles his efforts to do better in that respect. People who acknowledge no higher moral authority similarly rarely acknowledge sin for what it is. It is all lost in the "grey" of moral relativism. It is all dependent upon "circumstances" or it is "to each his own".
Perhaps, OP, you believe that someone who calls himself a Christian should be "there", when in fact, it only means he is trying to get there. You also seem to be somewhat bitter about guys who are looking for "hotness". Uh, yes, we respond to the same stimulation as non Christians for the most part, with regard to physical attractiveness.
Because we believe, and because we strive, doesn't mean we are always successful. I have failed many times. Some of those times I was not the only person hurt, my family paid a price for my sinning as well. But I suffered when THEY were less than perfect, as well.
I hope you find what you are seeking. Before you get too down on Christianity, study the teachings of Jesus. I believe you will find that we are taught to love each other, to share our belongings, to lift each other up, to respect our elders and love children and the earth that God has provided for us. I don't think you will find too many of His teachings that you will disagree with.
Yes, I think "The Apostle" was a masterpiece. If you have time, do a search and you'll find that Robert Duvall actually lived the life of a Pentecostal preacher in the rural south as he prepared to make the movie. | |
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pozz
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Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 80 | |
| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:22:57 PM | | In the little bit of theology that I know, this line of thought that, "christian men being different " is false. This in theology is called "angelism" One who views or thinks he is somehow inherantly different because of his or her Christianity. Funny isnt it , Christ used the word primarily for the religiuos elite, "white washed tombs" and the such. Christ did'nt even call those who do not as He said hypocrits, they did'nt rank that high on the order of things, just that they who do not as He says would be appointed to Hell with the unbelieveing and the hypocrits, where there is weeping and .....This word hypocrit is used rather loosely today. How ever it's true meaning as I just said goes much deeper that its use today. Just remember we all have the seed of Adam in us, there is nothing good or redeeming in man, hence the need of a savior. OP I believe you have a polly annish view of men and maybe a higher view of yourself than need be, with that said may God help us in all we do...........pozz | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 1:01:08 PM |
Labelling ones self as "Christian" implies a belief in, and a following of, the teachings of Jesus Christ, and a conviction that He was the son of God sent to ransom mankind of our sins. It doesn't mean that we're inherently better than anyone else. The apostle Paul was a murderer, and a kidnapper of early followers of Christ (a bounty hunter, more or less) before he was struck blind on the road to Damascus, and converted. David was an adulterer and a murderer.
Thank you tidliner for another input. Moses too was a murderer. Judah engaged in sex with his son's widow Tamar thinking she was a prostitute. Samson was a fornicator. Rahab was a prostitute. Both Judah and Rahab are ancestors of Jesus. The Bible is riddled with people of faith who fell victim to sin.
as others have pointed out, being a Christian does not insulate us from sin. We are human, we sin often and seriously. However, IMHO, there is a difference with a true Christian. That is, when he sins, he acknowledges it and asks forgiveness, AND redoubles his efforts to do better in that respect. People who acknowledge no higher moral authority similarly rarely acknowledge sin for what it is.
Because we believe, and because we strive, doesn't mean we are always successful. I have failed many times.
The individual who does not acknowledge that some of their choices are immoral and who believes they are a "good person" misses the point. The point is all mankind, has a sin nature, and because of that nature we are all in need of forgiveness. Perfection is not the requirement for being a Christian, acknowledging imperfection and the need for a savior is. Someone who holds up their Christianity as a badge to manipulate others because they are "a good person" is misguided at best. A true believer may try and walk a more moral walk, but would never flaunt their goodness in an effort to control others. Their walk in life should be reflected in their character and their actions, not their words. Words alone without behavior backing it up are hollow.
I feel very sad that so many people posting on this thread have been turned off by the actions of some who use the label with selfish intentions. Please however do not label all who identify with the faith as hypocritical. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 1:36:49 PM | I have just noticed however in the adult dating world that men often do use their involvement in a church congregation as an "out". Anotherwords, because of his involvement and his prayers of remorse of his sinful nature on Sunday morning, he should be given Carte blanche to his carnal behaviors becuase he knows it will all be taken away with an I`m sorry. I was taught in my parochial school, that when you repent, there also needs to be a sincere effort on the part of the individual to try to not repeat the behavior and better themselves in the future, or the repentence is an empty
act.
I don`t think that regular church attendance erases the fact that a person is not doing their utmost to follow in their regular lives, what they profess to believe at the service.
Always watch the ones sitting in the front row at church | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:01:09 PM | ^^^
You were taught correctly.
On sex outside marriage. This may be one of the most difficult of all sins to avoid. So difficult that a lot of people just try to rationalize it away. I have tried to understand why we were given such a tremendous craving and drive for sex, but cautioned to exercise it only within the bounds of marriage. I have concluded that it is very serious business, and that it is best to be chaste and love only God, but that most of us mortals do well to avoid adultery, and that simple fornication is not on the level of adultery. It seems not only scripturally believable, but logical.
There is logic in everything the Bible commands us to do. Where there seems to be no logic, either we are misunderstanding the scripture or we are failing to find the logic that is there before us. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:40:31 PM | | I could not agree with "widowedmom" and "tideliner" more. I am one of those "Christians" who has certainly fallen short in my walk especially when it comes to pre-marital relations. When I have followed hedonistic rationalization I have hurt myself and others so, at 60, I am going to try it His way. I know, for me, that it will be difficult...I have been a "fornicator" with the best (or worst) of them for most of my life. I have many Christian friends that have been married for 16, 20, 30 years or more and they formulated their marriages in the "correct" order...courting, learning about each other, falling in love, getting married and keeping sex special for that special person. I absolutely acknowledge that the label "Christian" is used with banality and that our non-christian brothers and sisters are not impressed by the "word" but may be humbled by our actions...maybe not. MissMewsix I am sorry that your were hurt...no one deserves to be hurt by Christians or non-christians and the fact that we confess our sins does not relieve us of the obligation to change our behavior so that we do not continue to hurt others...I am, as I am sure many other Christians are, a work in progress. I wish you well. Mike | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:57:46 PM | | Seems the women who started this thread never read what i wrote or avoided what i wrote, funny also to a lot of ya all-your looking at one angle like we usually do.did any one take my challenge? did anyone look up the web site and read how others types of Christians are being killed in,North korea, Africa,Moslem lands all over the middle east, China? some parts of South America-India yes India, Indonesia-still in differfent parts of Russia.. hmmmm wonder if you all have read any books buy these Christians? who never cheated on there wifes-in fact many husbands are killed and the women & Children are left to fend for themselfs(-minus )Christian aide from USA and elsewhere) Killed because they said they were Christians,never for doing anything wrong-Americans are so far behind in knowing what happens all over the world.-linear thinkers,and like i said im not endorsing bad Behavoiur here in USA.like i said in my first post. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 4:14:47 PM | A person's actions will be reflective of whether or not they are a Christian. I assume it's the same way with every other faith as well.
POF religious selection is very vague. There is no option to select "practicing" or "non-practicing". If a person was raised in the Catholic church, went to mass, confession, etc and chose not to practice the religion to the letter, I don't think I could fault them for selecting "Catholic" on their profile. Whether they are practicing or not is up to you since that determination is not possible simply by reading a profile.
If you are convicted in your own values and beliefs, what other people say shouldn't make any difference as to whether or not they get into your pants. Keep your standards high and don't compromise them for anyone. If you desire to be with a Christian man, then one who rises to the challenge may be what you're looking for. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 4:20:15 PM |  There are CHRISTIAN men on this site??? hahahaha......
If they are PRACTICING Christian men PERHAPS they may be more.... gentlemanly..... HIGHLY unlikely tho....
*sigh* I don't think there are many around any more... Usually into a second email I've got some guy asking me to do naughty things to him.... sometimes it's quite amusing because they ALL seem to think they're the FIRST ones to come up with exactly what they've said! | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 4:55:22 PM | | Before I was a "real" christian and really had a change in my heart, my life was empty and I messed up in a big way. The only difference between me now and me 10 years ago is the way I treat people and the way I treat myself. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:02:53 PM | I am in total agreement. Actually last year I dated a Minister.. At first he seemed very sincere, but as time wore on, I found out that he did in fact use his 'Christianity' as a way to only get into my pants. AND in the end I found out that he was married too!
What a pig.... lol | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:07:59 PM | "Before I was a "real" christian"
Two way overused "buzz words". There will be no agreement or set mindset as to what "real christian" means. It means what it does to you, I'm happy for you, sincerely, that you've found your path. Just saying that to understand that it won't mean the same to everyone else. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:18:24 PM | MissMewsic,
Amen!
My Dad once told me, "Never trust anyone with a fish on their car!"
A Christian doesn't need to tell you what they are because they show you. The "tellers" are probably full of bologna! | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:19:17 PM | Re post 1 and 22:
Especially:
"...I am just trying to see if I was stupid for believing that a man could be real and have integrity for a change. ...."
So most men lack integrity? So that is a man bashing thread, not merely a Christian man bashing thread?
I guess if one is looking for integrity, bad boys are more the "what you see is what you get" kind! lol | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:23:19 PM |
Before I was a "real" christian and really had a change in my heart, my life was empty and I messed up in a big way. The only difference between me now and me 10 years ago is the way I treat people and the way I treat myself.
George, what are you doing on PoF? Get back to work "deciding" what to do about the innumerable crises you've created. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:27:58 PM | What is a "Christian"? If you asked everyone who has responded so far, you might have some overlap, but in general, everyone has a different specific definition. I think most would agree that it is one that follows the teachings of Christ and the bible. There are those who use the "title" or "label" to gain access to others, both men and women. The bible talks about people being able to see if the "fruits of the spirit" are in operation. Love, joy, peace etc. We all have eyes and can make determinations if a person does or does not do that. POF gives license to what ever people choose to check in their boxes, limited as they may be choice wise.
What ever happened to personal responsibilty? If you are a "christian" seeking someone of like belief, don't we as individuals have a responsibilty to look at more than a "label" or "title" someone hung on themselves? I think we all know instances that non-professing people sometimes exibit more of the "christian" like qualities than some who wear the badge. Look at the evidence... if its not there... its best to just walk away if thats what you seek. Call it what it is on an individual basis and move on if that's what is indicated. For the "real christians" out there, you may have more compassion on these who lie about their relationship with God and pray for them as you move on. Let it be between them and God.
Just my take. Meanwhile happy fishing!
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:05:42 PM | Ok, so this thread is not about bashing Christians or sexuality. I do know a lot of really nice people (none of them single men) that are Christians. I really don't care what a person believes - it is the content of their character that I'm concerned about. I am not naive and definitely not that trusting of men in general. If a Christian man is not at all open to future commitment or marriage/ long term loving relationship -what would be the purpose of dating?
I have peace, joy, and contentment in my life so someone who feels the need to numb his emotions with weed or alcohol to deal with ex wife drama is insulting me by preaching the whole "you should get everything you need from God and not other humans" to avoid be accountable in a relationship that they initiated with me. All I was asking for is that I could spend more time together getting to know him more.
When he tells me the bible says NOT marrying is a good thing, I know he is full of it. I may be wrong about this but I believe it was Paul who never married and promoted singleness so as not to be distracted from doing God's work. I have told him it also says "It is not good for man to be alone" and "It is better to marry than to burn".
Why would a Christian man who mistrusts women and is anti-marriage want to date?
I know the answer and I did figure it out BEFORE I got hurt. I don't think he's a bad guy - just too many issues to work out before he can move forward into a relationship.
As far as the gentlemen concerned about religious persecution in other countries, I don't have any answers for that. I goes on all over because people get so wrapped up in "My religion is better than yours and I will make you pay if you don't agree with me" attitude. I try to treat everyone with kindness and respect - that's the best I can do. If I don't recieve kindness and respect from them in return, the best I can do is walk away. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:40:12 PM | I haven't read most of this thread, and am not in any way dissing anyone's religious beliefs but.. the tune "Plastic Jesus" is going through my head and I need to make it stop.  
The best bumper sticker that I have seen in my life is "Coexist" with the symbols of many relgions and beliefs united. 
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/24/2008 10:01:15 PM | Better to walk away, wiser but with your integrity intact and your self-respect (along with your relationship with the Lord), than to compromise your core beliefs.
I think men and women belong together... and I think they should wait until after they are married, rather than fornicating. I do agree that in one sense it is different from committing adultery... but then again, in Matthew 5:32 Jesus says that if one marries a divorced woman, he is committing adultery. I've been mulling that one over all summer... these days, that means a significant percentage of the population here in there US. Not sure of being born again would wipe the slate clean, as my marriage most certainly was NOT Christian in any sense.
I don't say that I've never fornicated, because, oh Lord that was one of my sins that needed to be washed away. I hold myself to a higher standard now... in pretty much all aspects of my life... dating, work, prayer, friends... 
Not sure why a Christian guy would be wanting to date, if he had no interest in long term/marriage. That's my goal, but in the meantime, maybe I will meet a bunch of good Christian women, who have standards and ideals similar to mine.  | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:01:46 AM | It's simple...there are those who talk the talk, and those that actually walk the walk! Find one that really follows Jesus, and you will find one that is equally yoked.
Presently, I'm dating someone with that type of moral character. He calls on time, when he says; he shows up when he says, he doesn't play the silly games most play (so far) as in power games; and he doesn't worry about who pays the bill. He's comfortable speaking about God, meeting at church, or at a park, and he's not once rushed me about anything. I've even met his son, and they're both very respectful, loving and attentive. He walks the walk, instead of talking the talk! So far, he's respected me since day one -- so, no complaints. He's not an octopus, and he's speaking in terms of the future. He's not perfect, but he's ok with that too! Thus, there are christians that truly ARE christians! You just have to stop agreeing to date those that don't act like christians. Personally, I look for moral values, first. If he's not ok with waiting til marriage...NEXT! ;) | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/25/2008 10:06:06 AM | I said "Not sure why a Christian guy would be wanting to date, if he had no interest in long term/marriage. That's my goal, but in the meantime, maybe I will meet a bunch of good Christian women, who have standards and ideals similar to mine. "
(I should have added that it only takes one... although I have no objections to making friends LOL, on re-reading that I thought maybe that should be clarified! ) | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/25/2008 11:23:05 AM | (I should have added that it only takes one... although I have no objections to making friends LOL, on re-reading that I thought maybe that should be clarified! )
Once a guy goes into "lets be friends" mode it's because he's not romantically interested in me. I've given those kind of "relationships" a chance but they never go anywhere. The conversation becomes small talk, they don't take me out or ask me out. I see the let's be friends as code for "I'm not interested in you". Once I put a guy in the "friends" category the chemistry towards him is gone and he never REALLY lets me get to know him. A friend is someone you can count on to be there no matter what. I have not found that men that I've dated want to be there for me. I have no problem making friends, Christian and non Christian in the real world. Come to think of it 95 percent of my friends are Christians. I just don't see how that whole "dating friends" thing works. If a guy I meet in online dating says he just wants to be friends, (which the one in question has) - what does that mean? What exactly would we do together as friends if he doesn't want to go out to dinner, to a movie, go for a walk, hang and talk, etc? There is NO romance, therefore I see no relationship potential. After playing for churches for over 18 years and sometimes hearing the same sermon 2-3 times every Sunday, reading the bible together for hours is not my idea of fun or relaxation. I don't want to sit around and talk about love, I want to live it. I can't be friends with someone who wants to talk about love yet doesn't welcome it in his life.  | |
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