| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:47:03 PM | | As an ex-nurse who has nursed AIDS patients; I would be very worried. STDs are one nasty thing that can at least be cured with antibiotics - but AIDS is a virus and is as yet not able to be cured. Arrogance in not using a condom is just plain stupid imo | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:05:45 PM | Um, jenny, aids can be cured.
If you use bleach, it just has the simple side effect of... well... death... | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:37:51 PM |
Yes, There is a disease out there called HPV you may google it and the facts are scary. It is what causes cervical cancer in woman and if not caught early enough can become a scary situation. HPV is not detected by your typical STD tests and many men do not know that they have it but pass it on the the girl. The girl contracts it from the guy and in turn can take years to detect or come up positive for it.
The only way to detect it in a girl is through the annual PAP which is why it is important that women that are sexually active get theirs annually. I know, I know I sound like the expert but a dear friend went through this drama so she felt the need to educate me all about it. Good Luck and Take Cover!
As far as I know, there is no way to either catch HPV early, or to do anything about it if you do. It's a virus, after all. Sometimes it clears up on its own, and most strains don't cause cervical cancer. But condoms don't actually protect against its transmission, 85% of us have it, and there's no reliable test; we only know how to detect a few out of many, many strains.
PAP smears detect abnormalities in cervical cells, which are often caused by HPV, but they don't detect HPV itself. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:56:25 PM | Let me expand on what has already been said. HPV can cause cancer, correct. But if you see warts on your genital area, than you should NOT worry about cancer. Worst case scenario with that strand is that you have very small white warts on your genital area. The HPV that causes warts does NOT cause cancer. Best case scenario? Most of the time, you don't notice them.
PS: I got freaked out once when I found out my girlfriend cheated on me several times and researched for hours upon hours about various STD's. Luckily, i'm clean, but it did scare me. Now i'm just trying to find a girl that doesn't cheat. =) | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:05:50 PM |
I've been seeing a guy who got a vasectomy when he was young. Because of this he has never used condoms -and won't- and has slept with a number of girls. He gets an STD test every year and always comes out clean. Should I be worried about sleeping with him?
Tested every year? What about the woman he was with the day after the test? Have you seen his "papers"?
HIV and Herpes are forever gifts. Get that boy some raincoats and make it fun to use them.
http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/vasectomy-14387
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/std-general.html
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/20/2008 11:41:40 PM | Condoms should be used 100% of the time for oral as well. Dental Dams for us guys.
Have a female friend who got herpes giving oral sex to a guy without a condom... he didn't know he had anything.. now she has it. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:02:15 PM | | Wow!!! Thank you so much everyone! Like I said earlier, before this guy I was in a very long term relationship. We were high school sweethearts and both virgins when we hooked up, so I've never really thought about all this until now and am quickly playing catch-up. I really like this new guy and before sleeping with him asked him when/if he had been tested after the last person he slept with. He said he's been in a series of monogamous relationships, with the exception of a couple one nighters 10 years ago, and he got tested after his last relationship and came out clean. Afterwards, I got freaked out, so I went and got tested and realized testing isn't straightforward. For example, you have to wait 6 months to test for some things, like AIDS. Also, some things you can't test for unless you have symptoms, like herpes!!! Now I'm going to get the battery of tests again to make sure (after my 6 mo.). I guess my question is can you really trust STD tests? 6 months after doing the deed, if both our tests come out clean, are we really clean? How long should you expect before something like herpes would show up? | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:40:21 AM | | Having sex with a condom is like doing tiresome physical labour. Id rather stay at home on the weekend with a case of beer, spit on my hand and go to a porn website. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:52:14 AM | I can't beleive that any adult would ever even consider condomless sex outside of a monogamous relationship. STDs are the least of your worries. Ever heard of AIDS?? Is it worth it to risk AIDS for a bit of fun? Want kids? Want your kids to have a parent? Feel like passing AIDS onto your child and giving them that death sentence, too, because some guy told you he had been tested and had the snip? My freind knocked his wife up after a year of being snipped-it healed back up, its not unheard of .
I think the obvious choice is, if you VALUE yourself and your LIFE you buy him a big box of gloves.
Oh, and meal ticket, buy yourself a brewery and please stay home. I'll even spring for some lotion for ya. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:18:40 AM | | I would worry about him. Just because he cannot get a woman pregnant does not mean he should be having sex unprotected. In this day and age that is just crazy. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:37:34 AM | I've been with my girl now for over 12 months but i still use a condom every time we have sex,, so whats his problem about putting one on ? put that question to him ! " have you ever heard the saying " Better Be Safe Than Sorry "
but its your disision !!!
dare I say it "At The End Of The Day "
I hate that Saying
Tim | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:58:52 AM | | I prefer not to use comdoms but in todays world, you have to use them. I've pretty much been in what I would call long term relationships for the last 15 years (each one more the 2 years). When I get involved with a new woman, I will wait six months after we have become sexualy active and suggest we go and get tested together and begin using a different method of birth control rather then condoms. Most of the woman I've been with have been perfectly fine with this though one did get mad at me, thinking I was suggesting she was cheating. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:16:53 AM | | If he checked out okay last month but slept with someone 2 weeks ago then you last night... and a train leaves Phoenix traveling East at a speed of 70mph... then x = just periodic testing while somewhat promiscuous doesn't mean much. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:20:55 AM | He should get checked before you sleep with him
Also...make sure you're the only girl he's sleeping with at that point
ALSO...don't sleep with someone who is so closed minded to think that a condom is only for preventing pregnancy
Many STI/STDs remain dormant for quite some time, undetectable even by tests...HIV being the biggest one
Just cause this test comes out negative doesn't mean the next one won't be positive | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/23/2008 2:05:53 PM |
Should I be worried about sleeping with him? You should worry about your willingness to consider giving control of your future to someone you barely know. If YOU dont want to have sex with someone who clearly is what sexual healthcare workers would classify as a high risk person unless he uses a condom, stick to your OWN mantra and DONT. You can find sex much more readily than he. Besides, if he REALLY WANTS you, he'd be more than willing to give condoms a good try.
He is a high risk person. Testing is only as good as the last test. Does the person you're interested in only have sex once a year? If not, the whole once a year testing idea is foolish as those who've been infected by STDs that work in the sex industry and other promescuous people can testify. Having sex with the person with whom you speak would be like playing a game of Russian Roulette on an unlucky night. Is sex with him worth risking your life?
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:00:18 PM | | Actually, the "waiting period" has become shorter than 6 months since tests (even for HIV) have gotten more sensitive. You can confirm online in terms of the specific test used, but many are saying more like 2-3 months now...and YES, I'd be concerned. There's no excuse to not using condoms, especially at the beginning of a relationship. If you're nervous, he should care enough to use them.... | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:54:57 PM | I don't know if he would be considered promiscuous or if this would matter? I've known him for over a year and we've been good friends for that time. The last person he slept with was a year ago. He's slept with 10 people total, which I don't even know if that number is a lot? It's basically been about one person per year, most were relationships - none with condoms. He claims all his ex's were tested before he slept with them (with the exception of a couple one nighters 10 years ago), and he was tested after each relationship. But I don't know how many his ex's have slept with, faithfulness of ex's, etc. Does this sound like high risk behavior, or he would be high risk to sleep with? It sounds risky to me, BUT then my question would be, what would you require from your partner to go bareback?
What is reasonable to expect from a partner in order to forgo condoms? I mean, one could say in this day and age there is never a reason to go without. But let's say you marry someone and want children...what would you require of the person, just sexually, in order to make it to that point? (Of course this is a bigger philosophical question than what pertains to my current situation. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:06:05 PM | | If you trust him and believe you are the only one then that should be enough. But the small chance he's cheating on you may put you at risk with all kinds of stds. Up to you. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:31:38 PM | I had a scare awhile ago and went through a bunch of tests. One of the things I was upset about was that I had never had sex without a condom except my husband of 12 years. One of the diseases you can get even using a condom is herpes!!! YES it is true!!
Also, Herpes does not get tested unles you specifically ask for it, from what I was told.
After looking everything up I found the explanation of why herpes spreads so rapidly. It is very scary. I have not had sex with a new partner since. (last time was a "one more time" with a "friend") But I have changed my ways since being scared so badly, don't need that again to tell me to be careful! | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:36:17 PM | | Unless he gets a Herpes specific blood test, doctors won't test for it. I would tell him to have fun with his hand in the bathroom. And if I didn't see the test results personally, I wouldn't trust him. Always have safe sex, Herpes is FOREVER! | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:46:45 AM | Should I be worried about sleeping with him?
No.
Nowadays the only way to tell a STD is if the guys penis is shooting out laser beams, preventing him from ever having sex again, or at least being able to garnish his slightly less than athletic frame with any type of casual denim wear from Banana Republic.
The upside would be he could play laser tag naked...however, I don't think most people would appreciate bumping into him in the dark while he is shouting "I got you, sucka!"
If you believe that I got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:55:57 AM |
The last person he slept with was a year ago. He claims HE CLAIMS.....all you have is what you should know and that is that it is very risky. Why do it? There are other people out there who will certainly be interested in starting a relationship and if sex ever occured using condoms.
The bigger philosophical question is why would anyone put themself at risk on the basis of someone using a used car salesman's line....trust me
As to what of marriage? Of course you do not need to use condoms when married unless you or your partner is not being monogamous or has been found to have a STI. Condoms to begin a sexual relationship outside of marriage is always a wise choice. | |
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| No condoms, should I worry?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:50:32 AM | Op Yes... What's to say he contacted and was infected by one of his Girls during the year between testing. Also if your that concerned prior to sleeping with him again why don't you ask him to get tested again just for you and provide you the test results.
Something tells me you see a red flag or have a gut feeling about something. Might want to go with your gut as I think your saying something might be up with this guy. | |
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