| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:06:48 AM | Heck no - what someone likes or doesn't like is just a small facet of who they are as a person and how they treat people.
My profile states I'm not a smoker and prefer non-smokers. I've been married to two men who smoked - one respected me and didn't smoke in the house. The other one was just a plain a$$, would take a puff on his cigarette outside the house, come into the house, give me a kiss and blow the smoke into my mouth knowing I would have an allergic reaction.
So, no, I wouldn't dismiss someone based on their likes or dislikes they stated in their profile. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:19:46 AM | Whether we realize it or not, we all reject people because of something that is either in or absent from the profile every day.
Your specific example I would not think would be a serious issue for anyone but possibly someone that is really a connoisseur and even then, I would think most folks could work around that. You do not personally have to appreciate something in order to gain something from someone else enjoying it. I do not particularly like wine although I do encounter some that I can cope with. I would presume I could find a way to enjoy myself if someone took me on a wine tasting tour; the beautiful country, certainly some wines that I actually would enjoy, and just spending time with someone that I care about.
If someone does not think that you can have a drink of your choice while he is having his wine probably has a drinking problem I don't want to touch with a ten foot pole. The bottom line is that while it may narrow the potential dating pool, those folks you don't want around anyway because you are not going to be compatible. That goes for people that wish to jump to conclusions about things they read; better they stay out of your life altogether. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:58:03 AM | uh huh.......
bitter profiles
those cut/paste profiles
drugs
"just checking this out"
a lot of "prefer not to say"
shopping list profiles
"must have"
too far away ( no first date should include luggage, usually tons of baggage, but not luggage) lol | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:33:37 AM | Sure I would as we all do but I also look at each individual as well. And not only because of what's in it but what's not as well. These lackluster two sentence profiles are always rejected.
Back on topic though, does it not seem that generalizations made here about someone's interests are a little too severe? If someone drinks wine they are a drunk. If someone's into NASCAR, they are low life rednecks and so forth. A person that likes to gamble is automatically addicted and broke.
Gawd, talk about the double standards. Are you listening nice guy and gal bashers? A lot of people here get offended when they are generalized by them yet turn around and do it themselves but in a different way.
I'm not saying that having preferences is bad. I'm saying to look at each individual instead of gauging them on just their interest might be better thing though. In other words, don't be so quick to judge.
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:50:05 AM |
blondieca621 : Sounds a little foolish and immature to reject someone because they like to drink a glass of wine.....or because they don't.
IMO, this has nothing to do with being foolish and/or immature. Those are just personal preferences. I am sure you have yours. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:50:51 AM | Jimbo...
does it not seem that generalizations made here about someone's interests are a little too severe?
Not generalizations...I didn't see any. What did I miss?
If someone drinks wine they are a drunk.
Nope--that wasn't said. If a person says they like to drink >3 times a week and you know that you do not--you're not compatible. I made that mistake when I first came out here. The guy in question DID drink every day! He got home from work and popped a cold one and would drink until bed time. I didn't stick around long for that. I don't mind some drinking but drinking to ease some kind of pain is a bad thing in my opinion (family of alcoholics).
If someone's into NASCAR, they are low life rednecks and so forth.
Jim dalink...what are you reading? I don't like NASCAR but don't think any less of people who do. That's just something that I never got into. I also don't like fishing, camping, "getting back to nature"...none of it. I am allergic to many types of grass/pollens and having being bitten by spiders and other creatures and ending up at the E/R...no nature loving for this woman@@
A person that likes to gamble is automatically addicted.
LOL...get some coffee baby or new glasses. I don't believe that either but there are people, who for religious reasons or family history that won't date someone who likes to gamble. It's fun in moderation but there ARE people who go overboard. On my profile I talk about a bad first date idea...going to the casino is one. I did watch a guy gamble away $500 he didn't have and then ask me for money...ummm no.
Idon't know if it's rejection per se. If you like something I don't or do something I won't (I don't date smokers--tried but won't), then it's not rejection--it's a preference. I don't prefer smokers. A guy might not prefer fat women. A woman prefers tall men. Preferences--it's ok to have them because you as an adult should know what you like/don't like and where your line in the dating sand is. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:13:19 AM | jim - nicely put. niki - I tend to agree.
I guess the point I was making is say you liked everything else about the person's profile and then you read they don't drink. Does it bother you knowing they wouldn't drink when you go out or whatever......knowing they won't share a bottle of wine with you?
This might sound odd to some of you, but I read this on alot of Australian profiles all the time, so trust me it isn't weird. And obviously it's important to these men because otherwise they wouldn't mention it. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:22:29 AM |
Does it bother you knowing they wouldn't drink when you go out or whatever......knowing they won't share a bottle of wine with you?
Short answer. NO. I guess for some of us it does sound weird. But I did notice that another Australian lady said that there are men there who drink more than just wine--or don't drink at all. Yes it must be important. I would say then perhaps you should mention the headache issue. There's nothing wrong with "weeding yourself out" OP. That just means that you won't have to defend your preference.  | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:40:44 AM | Hey, I was "rejected" because I don't drink alcohol. Never knew it's a bad thing.
Called I liar, a recovering alcoholic, some women even asked me, what do you get violent when you drink?..None of these are true!! I just don't.
So, yes, I prefer women who does not drink at all, or socially is fine. We go out, and she wants to have a glass of wine, a few beer, I am fine with that. She gets drunk, dances on the table, picks a fight that I have to fight..Not soo much.
Comes to my place, gets drunk,takes off her clother..Different story..LOL..
As far as reading something I don't like in their profile..I wouldn't call it rejection, but if there isn't much in common, or looking for something I don't, what's the point contacting her? I know what I like, what I don't, so I pay attention when I read profiles. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:54:11 AM |
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile? Absolutely ... that's what the profiles are all about ... that's why we have a profile. It allows us to put in writing our likes and dislikes so that others can see them.
Just as I would probably not contact a man who has hobbies that I might find objectionable or have absolutely no interest in, I know for certain that I would not want a man to contact me if he didn't like music ... or dancing ... or if he was super religious (I'm not religious) or if he was super conservative (politically). Those men would not be a good match for me.
So yes ... I think we should reject someone because of something in their profile.
When you go shopping for a good sofa ... you have an idea of what you want. You're not going to pick one that is not the color you want, you'll reject others for not being as comfortable as you want. You are picky about it ... right?
All a profile does is tell us about the perspective person. If they have written something that does not appeal to us ... then obviously we just don't bother to contact that person ... eh?
Does it bother you knowing they wouldn't drink when you go out or whatever......knowing they won't share a bottle of wine with you? No ... that's silly. I was having this conversation with someone just last night.
If I hook up with someone who doesn't drink, it doesn't mean anything except that anytime I go out with him, I automatically have a designated driver ... 
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:21:41 AM | There are few things which are turnoffs when reading profiles .. Some are:
*conceit: men who state how handsome gorgeous/handsome people say they are( I have actually seen this)
* hunters ( dont get me started..ugh)
* druggies
* lacking humor/too serious
* too desperate clingy( oozing smarm and neediness)
* men looking for women to help raise their kids
* bitterness ( blathering about how he was "screwed over etc".. duh I mean who hasn't been! lol)
* religious fanatics (spirituality is fine but spare me the bible thumping)
* sports fanatics ( there's a subtle difference between being a fan and a fanatic)
* man-whores ( men obviously seeking "human masturbatory devices"..) | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:51:11 PM | | i was reading the forums.......( still looking around this trying to figure out what is what) Is that why you didn't want to talk, because i didn't have roses.......i gave them out the first week i was here, and had no idea what they are supposed to mean.. did not realize you only got 2.... .....oh the first one i gave to a woman i thought had a wonderful profile, the 2nd was to my daughter who joined this to try to work on a broken heart......... Don't assume just because someone doesn't have a rose, there have been other motives | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:00:49 PM | Absolutely, but it depends on what that "something" is.
I have also stopped myself from writing to someone if they have something in their profile stated as a "dealbreaker" and it's something I either am (A smoker) or participate in. (I'm a hunter).
That's the point of profiles. You find and write to those you are compatible with and avoid those you are not. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:22:30 PM | | It would really depend on what that "something" is. Heavy drinking, drugs,lying about age, living with mama and daddy at age 41...that kind of stuff, I will not even entertain. I do read profiles pretty thoroughly. I say what turns me off the most is people who hardly share anything about themselves then I feel like a dentist pulling teeth figuring out what someone is like!! Or you start talking to them for a while and get a lot of "oh by the ways." | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:31:36 PM | Yes I reject all those that want the height /weight proportionate Barbie
They worship the god Mattel
Also men my age with young children
Don't know where their heads were at ...oh wait never mind
Shopping List profiles? I know what I want when I go shopping. if the store is out of the item.I'll get a rain check
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:33:59 PM | I have to say that i have skimed over someone because they didn't drink. It's important to know that the person I'm thinking about talking to shares something in common with me. Besides I wouldn't be surprised if I have a slight problem around alcohol and would feel very out of sorts if I was out with someone who didn't drink as I would feel that I couldn't drink either. Seems a little rude to get sloshed in front of a te-tolaler (friends I can deal with parterns no sorry).
I do think I'm far too fussy for my own good, but other things that put me off - if their profiles have several BAD spelling mistakes, they talk in text talk (any and all manner or poor english - I have to know that I can hold a converstation with someone and NOT have to explain everything), are obsessed with football - I have a slight issue with certain areas that I know well and have lived in - no way I'm going back there.........
Hummmmm me thinks I should just chuck myself under a fast train I'm never going to be happy if I carry on like this.
But in reality - you have to be comfortable with what you want and if there is anything that doesn't fit right with you and it's something you can't live with it then leave it alone. You should NEVER settle for second best! | |
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Ninki
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Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:41:01 PM |
drinks 3+ times a week that would turn me off...
I'm German and I like to have one beer in the evening. To many Americans, this is a red flag; they think you automatically have a drinking problem if you drink more than three times a year. 
N. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:41:11 PM |
i was reading the forums.......( still looking around this trying to figure out what is what) Is that why you didn't want to talk, because i didn't have roses.......i gave them out the first week i was here, and had no idea what they are supposed to mean.. did not realize you only got 2.... .....oh the first one i gave to a woman i thought had a wonderful profile, the 2nd was to my daughter who joined this to try to work on a broken heart......... Don't assume just because someone doesn't have a rose, there have been other motives
...For some reason people love to jump to conclusions about the roses, obviously you gave yours out to deserving people. I have only given out a limited amount of roses since joining....and they have been for very good reasons....a death, a friend feeling blue and some of my favourite guys on valentines day.....
Reject someone because of something in their profile....you bet. Sometimes there's red flags throughout a profile..... and it scares the hell out of me so I run for the hills.
...maeflowers
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:54:02 PM |
...For some reason people love to jump to conclusions about the roses, obviously you gave yours out to deserving people. I have only given out a limited amount of roses since joining....and they have been for very good reasons....a death, a friend feeling blue and some of my favourite guys on valentines day.....
The rose giving comment made me scratch my head in confusion. That's the first time I've heard anyone bring that up as a reason to reject someone. How many roses are we supposed to have? I have the same 2 I've always had, and the above poster has given away 3. How is someone supposed to tell if we are too liberal with our rose giving anyway? lol That's a little out there. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 2:14:27 PM | You get 2 roses every 30 days. You also have points that you can use to give gifts. There are lots of other things you can give, but the be mine rose's purpose is to tell the person you want them to be yours I have been played enough times, you want to give out your BE MINE to someone that you don't want to really be yours, that is your choice. To me it means you want someone to be yours! | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 2:40:04 PM | Some of you women are just flat out ridiculous! ::shakes head::
Mentioning wine in a profile is ok, so long as it's not in excess???
But the mere mention of NASCAR is a deal breaker???
Over the course of my time on pof, reading profiles and the forums, I have come to some conclusions about many of you women. This thread is a prime example of it.
-If a guy is a man's man and likes doing guy stuff...........that's a deal breaker.
-You want a manly man that is confident, but not be interested in things that make him manly or confident.
-You want a first date that takes a guy out of his comfort zone and makes him feel like he's being interviewed for a job or being interrogated, but expect him to not feel that way.
-You want a guy to be your best friend, yet get offended if he treats you the way he treats his friends.
-Some women are going to look at this thread and think "blanket generalization" because they chose to overlook the words "some" and "many".
I can't help but think that a lot of you women are REALLY just looking for a woman with a penis and may not have come to that realization for yourself! | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 2:48:34 PM | I would definitely reject someone from the contents of their profile. Why? OOOOOOOOH no Im not telling you that because then we will start seeing the blandest of profiles on here with absolutely nothing to make a judgement call by.
C'mon peeps we are all differenet and have different ideas on what we want. As for me...Im just dabbling in the pond and not really finding a lot of fish but then hey I didnt expect to either! So any bite is a bonus ...thanks to you all who looked at my profile whether you followed it up or not. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and happy fishing | |
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