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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 3:15:55 PM | Making a new profile when all you have to do is change all the information isn't too smart, makes no sense to me.
-If a guy is a man's man and likes doing guy stuff...........that's a deal breaker. And what is considered guy stuff?
-You want a manly man that is confident, but not be interested in things that make him manly or confident. Like what shouldn't he be interested in?
-You want a first date that takes a guy out of his comfort zone and makes him feel like he's being interviewed for a job or being interrogated, but expect him to not feel that way. If a guy isn't comfortable making a date to do something, they shouldn't be dating. If you have only been on dates that aren't in your comfort zone, you only have yourself to blame. If you are out with someone that is interviewing you, guess what you choose her to go out with, you probably should have taken your time to make sure the questions she is asking were answered before you made the date.
-You want a guy to be your best friend, yet get offended if he treats you the way he treats his friends. I certainly feel a woman should be treated like a woman regardless of a man being your friend or not. If he doesn't treat his friends with respect, he isn't someone I want to be friends with.
-Some women are going to look at this thread and think "blanket generalization" because they chose to overlook the words "some" and "many". I read your profile and think you may need a profile review, if many of the women you go out with are that wrong for you. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:13:51 PM | Yeah I would... lol.
I rarely drink; because I hate how I act when the alcohol is starting to take effect... but I dont mind a guy who drinks!
The only time i would reject someone is if he drinks a lot - something like "i love a drink and going out to pubs etc" would put me off as we wouldn't have similar characteristics.... I dont see it as rejection, just as saving me and the other person from wasting each others time. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:27:28 PM | I might reject a man based on alot of things he has in his profile...but I certainly wouldn't reject him just because he doesn't have the same taste in alcohol as me!! 
Go ahead and enjoy your Merlot, Shiraz, or Cabernet honey...
just pass me my Tequila, salt, and lime. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:17:17 PM |
Making a new profile when all you have to do is change all the information isn't too smart, makes no sense to me.
Similarly, an artistic painter should just re-use the same canvas over and over right?
Some people like to have some fun with their profile and always keep it fresh. This may include things like changing username. It's not about hiding from someone or putting yourself out there as something that you're not. Just another form of expressing creativity.
I'm on my 4th pof profile already! I find that it's just easier to be creative when you start with a "fresh canvas"!
Not everyone thinks this way and that's fine. Some people spend 10 minutes on their profile and never touch a word again...............ever! It's their profile and they can do what they want!
And what is considered guy stuff?
Oh, I dunno. Spending the weekend replacing the clutch in your car?
Maybe hit the local t!tty bar once in awhile?
Things that are predominantly done by guys.
Like what shouldn't he be interested in?
^^^^^^ See Above.
If you are out with someone that is interviewing you, guess what you choose her to go out with, you probably should have taken your time to make sure the questions she is asking were answered before you made the date.
You can be in a relationship with someone for 20 years and still not know ALL that there is to know about that person. So, getting all of he questions out of the way first is out of the question.
Also, I would venture to say that roughly 98% of the women on here have listed a 1st date preference of somewhere quiet to sit and talk.
I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that. Just saying that a guy would probably be more comfortable talking while shooting a game of pool, or hitting the batting cages, miniature golf, etc.
I would recommend reading some of Deborah Tannen's research on communication style differences among the genders.
I'm simply suggesting that many women may have passed up several Mr. Rights just because they were being unnecessarily inflexible.
I certainly feel a woman should be treated like a woman regardless of a man being your friend or not. If he doesn't treat his friends with respect, he isn't someone I want to be friends with.
Have you ever sat and listened to two guy friends talk? Or better yet, a group of guy friends? There's almost always teasing, bantering, name-calling..............all in jest. Can you imagine talking to your female friends the way that guys talk to their guy friends? I think that most women would say "no".
o, you don't want a guy to be a friend to you the way he is to his guy friends. You want a guy to be a friend to you, the way that your female friends are friends to you. In other words, you want him to be your girl-friend!
If your best friend and confidante is your lover, then whom do you talk to to get an unbiased opinion about something going on in your relationship?
I have a best friend already.........and she's female.
The status of THAT relationship will NEVER change.
To me, a friend is a friend and a lover is a lover............apples and oranges.
I read your profile and think you may need a profile review, if many of the women you go out with are that wrong for you.
A couple of profile review regs. are part of my fav. list and vice versa. I didn't ask for any reviews, but got them anyways. I've officially gotten their seal of approval. So, THAT idea can be dragged ashore!
However, I can see where your miss-understanding came into play and I shall clear that up.
While I was NOT issuing a blanket generalization............I was also NOT being ultra specific, in that, it was not being directly applied to me.
You want a piece of personal experience?? Okay.
Looked at a profile..................not my type.
Even more so, not her type!
Somewhere along the line, contact was made.................and was reciprocated.
Communication was good and got along wonderfully. Thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. Couldn't wait to share that company again!
Point being, that if an objective person were to look at both profiles and make a determination, solely based on profiles, the person would come to the conclusion that it would "never happen". But it did! | |
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Iowa44
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Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 55 | |
| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:22:47 PM | | that is why we have profiles,to weed out the ones that we have little or no chance of being happy with.A while back I had to tell a woman that wrote me that we just weren't a good fit,there was no way I was going to go skydiving with her,,,EVER. | |
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zeeba
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Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 56 | |
| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:27:19 PM | | There is one item that can completely turn me off a man's profile -- deep negativity. As in: a litany of complaints about the opposite gender; making sweeping generalizations/assumptions about the evil nature of all women; ranting about the unfairness of life; etc. Turns me off completely in real life as well. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:30:49 PM | Iowa44 how many times in her life do you think she would go skydiving? I mean it's not something you do every day or every week. So what if you missed out on a really great gal? Isn't there room for compromise where she might only go skydiving occasionally but put it on her profile because it asked for her to write down her interests. Just trying to make a point here. There are different ways of looking at things.
For me the only real dealbreaker is SMOKING. I have dated smokers and it's like kissing an ashtray. So no thanks. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:34:46 PM |
"...For instance, if a man says that his Christian religion is very important to him and he is looking for a godly wife, I wouldn't contact him since I am pagan...
I wouldn't contact a man whose main interest in life is NASCAR.
You would get a kick out of reading my profile... | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:36:21 PM |  YEP, your profile will get you rejected 99% of the time, or how you respond and post here in The FORUMS, so you can worry about what people think, or just be yourself and one day THE RIGHT PERSON will admire your style and pick you for you... 
 When a person is intrested in you for you, the chances are much better of a relationship growing out of that situation... 
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:38:01 PM | ??? Everything except for your date of birth is easily deleted. It isn't a canvas, it is a computer.
Don't get why you are so negative if you and someone else found each other.
Oh, I dunno. Spending the weekend replacing the clutch in your car?
Maybe hit the local t!tty bar once in awhile? Working on a car can be done by mechanics that are paid less than the person who owns the car, why should he waste his time when there is a perfectly good golf course waiting? The don't have strip bars around here, you have to go to the city for that lovely feature.
I certainly have listened to men talking. I must assume that the stereotypes of some men are true and not just jokes on TV. I know that I can discuss the stock market, football games, and golf right along with the boys.
I guess that is why there is a section where you write about yourself. You know a little more about who they are and keeps you from meeting someone that would seem like from another world to me. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:44:50 PM | It's rare that I'd reject someone just because of the options they select. Having some different interests is fine, just as long as they're not ones that really go against my beliefs, for example killing animals for fun (I don't have a problem if you're going to eat them).
It's far more common that I'd move on because of things they have written by hand in the main profile body.
The usual failings are:
1) Cannot spell, or write a sentence. 14 lines of waffle without a single punctuation mark!
2) Blatant fakes, although this is less of a problem ones the kiddies are back in school.
3) Love themselves, although they're usually caught by the first category already! | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:49:05 PM | It would depend I suppose on what it was. The problem with profiles is that many people could struggle to explain themselves. As long as it was not something that really struck me the wrong way, I see no reason to overlook the verbal content part of the profile.
With regards to the hobbies section (an area I pay attention to) if there was something that was of significant interest to them that did not exactly float my boat, that would not necessarily be a problem either. Lets face it, no one we might pair up with will agree with us all the time or have all of the same interests. As long as they are not clubbing baby seals or sacrificing goats, I do not have a problem with some variations of hobbies.
Those who would overemphasize such things as religion, politics, or other subjects that make for difficult discussions would likely get a pass over by me though. Again, it depends on what it is or how it is expressed. And if the profile said "separated" I would pass it over because there is still something going on there and I do not want into that at all.
But generally speaking, as long as there is something there (and many do not put much thought into their profile which to me is not appealing: something should be there however awkward it is phrased), I would not pass over the person simply because of something in their profile unless it really did not sit well with me. Hope that is not too convoluted an answer. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:08:01 PM |
For me the only real dealbreaker is SMOKING. I have dated smokers and it's like kissing an ashtray. So no thanks. #57
This has been a hard one for me...I would kiss a guy that smoked, breath mints were invented for a reason. However, the smell of smoke tends to make me want to start again. I had a grandmother that smoked and died of cancer. I remember her coughing and coughing and coughing every morning in the bathroom. I will never forget that sound. And yet the smell of smoke...reminds me of her.
YEP, your profile will get you rejected 99% of the time, or how you respond and post here in The FORUMS, so you can worry about what people think, or just be yourself and one day THE RIGHT PERSON will admire your style and pick you for you. When a person is intrested in you for you, the chances are much better of a relationship growing out of that situation... #59
Agreed...what's it called...hope? | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:10:41 PM | | No, if there is just one thing you dont have in common, I wouldnt reject a person based on that alone. There has to be an overall good or bad feeling when you read a profile. Details sometimes dont matter. Some of the things I see in profiles that make me reject a guy is many misspelled words, poor grammar, saying stupid statements like "nice guys finish last", photos with gangsigns or flipping off the camera, hillbilly type of look, not the right body type, if they say they want children (and I dont want anymore), making bad comments about they x's, it is apparent they are looking for a booty call, or if they seem too vain. I use my intuition. If it dont feel right, I dont go there! | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:21:24 PM |
I wouldn't contact a man whose main interest in life is NASCAR Gwendolyn... I am so happy, because I am not alone in this. We should start a group.
Nascar on the profile... deal breaker for me. If you can sit and watch cars go really fast around and around in a circle, I am pretty sure we do not have anything in common.
Aside from Nascar, my list of no:
Men looking for an intimate encounter.
Men who are married and looking for "friends."
Men who are separated.
Men who feel it necessary to rant about gold diggers or how shallow women are (bitter, party of one...).
Heavy drinkers.
Men who take drugs.
Zealots, be they Christians/Muslims/Republicans/Democrats.
Sports Fanatics.
Illiterates (when I say this, I mean cannot spell, writes in text speak or unwilling to take the time/effort to write something that makes any sense).
Men over 60.
Men under 40.
Men who feel it necessary to mention they have high sex drives in their profile.
This is subject to addition at anytime. No subtractions. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:47:53 PM | lynnnn: So if you click on profile edit, then you can change your username? I think not.
You read my profile. Did it sound negative? I think not.
It isn't a canvas, it is a computer.
Obviously speaking figuratively and using analogies just flies right over your head!
Working on a car can be done by mechanics that are paid less than the person who owns the car, why should he waste his time when there is a perfectly good golf course waiting?
Pretentious much?
Ok, so I'm a skilled, trained, and experienced mechanic. So, why would I pay a shop to do what I can do myself? All I need is the parts, which I can usually get cheaper than what the shop would charge me for same parts.
So, the money that I save by doing it myself, could be used to do something nice with you or saved up to buy that something nice for you!
And to me, a golf course is a waste of perfectly good land!
I can get into miniature golfing though.
BTW, wine, strip bars, auto repair..............these are all EXAMPLES!!
Not the focal point. Quit focusing on the examples and stick to the overall topic.
As for friends...........................
Like me, most of my guy friends are sarcastic, quick witted, and are generally smartasses! It's not a forum for the cultured, artsy, or refined individual.
We're a bunch of sh!t talkers to each other and about each other and,within our circle, it's entertaining and good for many laughs. It's a realm of zero modesty or semblance feeling like you're being judged. We can certainly be crude, rude, and we're all tattooed!
Still think you'd fit in?? Most women don't or wouldn't. But there are a few choice ones, and they're equally a blast to talk sh!t with!
Yeah, when I'm with "the guys" we're from the planet "Testosterone"!
However, perceiving me from just that lil aspect of my life would do me a gross disservice.
Not only am I a mechanic, but I'm also a trucker! And I'm sure that you have drawn many conclusions about me from that lil tidbit of information.
More than likely, you would never guess that I'm college educated with majors in Philosophy and Religious Studies. And no, that doesn't make me a religious zealot either because I attended a secular university!
There's just so many ASPECTS to me, that one little, tiny profile cannot possibly encompass. Besides, I don't want to be judged by one aspect or another. I want to be judged by my ability, capability, and willingness to treat another individual the way that they want to be treated.
Do I know how to treat a woman right?
Yes! By not assuming that all women are the same. And even though most have similar areas that like to be stroked, each has an individual "sweet spot" that she likes to have explored and focused upon.
What was the topic again???
BTW, though seeing "clubbing baby seals or sacrificing goats" would be amusing in a person's interests section. I think that it would look better as a first date idea.
I certainly wouldn't take the statement seriously, in and of itself.
Actually, to me it reads like a joke and reveals a sense of humor that I could go along with! | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:52:28 PM | I wouldn't reject someone for not drinking wine - even though my family has a vineyard.
Now I might reject a man for some other innocuous dumb little insignificant reason. But those occur on random and never expected nor predicted occasions - so men can't really anticipate or edit what THAT potential may be.
Neither could I.
I know it when I see it.
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:05:09 PM | Mominatrix and Gwendolyn,
Count me in on the group for gals who don't like NASCAR. I don't like any so called sport where animals or people or machines go round and round on a track. ...and I like cars and even sold them for several years.
I also reject the guys whose profiles say they smoke, are still married (and that means separated, too!), have no hobbies , have no job, are bitter about all women.
Then you have to find a way to ask if they have their own teeth - and are they in their mouth. Next you have to figure out how to ask if they believe in bathing more than once a month. I wish I were kidding.
A profile is there so that others can figure out if they are compatible with another. We are allowed to reject others for whatever reason we like, even if others think we are shallow or stuck up or unfeeling. We are still nice people even if we reject someone for whatever reason we want. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:10:24 PM | I think if theres a deal-breaker, better to get it over with rather than waste time in endless emails etc covering the safe stuff..
Was going to just write to OP & say "hope you get to resolve the headache problem".. but come to think of it, I 've had wasted time in email & chat myself with one such um... man... as described under "girlie stuff".. oh dear..  had no idea for a while there..
So yes, get it over with please! Tell us!
& OP, hope you find its less of a worry than you think - & you do get to meet some to whom it doesnt matter at all.. good luck & best wishes | |
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