| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:11:55 PM |
I guess the point I was making is say you liked everything else about the person's profile and then you read they don't drink.
This is an interesting one to consider since I don't drink often but I do like to drink. I love a nice meal with great wine and ideally I'd like to be with someone whose drinking habits are similar to mine. I would never dismiss someone solely because he doesn't drink but I would view it as a small chink and too many small chinks can sometimes add up to one big chink. But if everything else in his profile sounded awesome, this wouldn't be a big deal, particularly if he didn't mind if I drank on occasion. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:26:05 PM | obviously, it all comes down as to what is in the profile.....If none of the likes matches up to mine, why would I want to try and make a relationship??? It shouldn't be that much hard work. I would not mind someone who drinks...even beer on a daily basis....as long as it's not a 12 pack a day. I smoke some---more when I'm alone but if I am with non-smokers, I do not smoke unless we are outside and I stand away from them. I also use breath mints---especially if I'm wanting a kiss. I'm sure that my smoking has caused me to be passed over by some....and that's a shame because my smoking is not more important than a good relationship. A good man will keep me busy enough to make me stop smoking... 
I'm also a sports nut --TV or watching live not participating, so someone who isn't into football, etc won't see me from Sept-Feb | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:33:13 PM |
I have also stopped myself from writing to someone if they have something in their profile stated as a "dealbreaker" and it's something I either am (A smoker) or participate in. (I'm a hunter).
This makes sense to me if one (speaking generally, not you personally) is here looking for some level of on-going, or at least in-person, relationship (i.e Dating, LTR, intimate encounter). But, does this hold true if one is just looking for friends or chatting? I mean, what would it matter that you smoke (or gamble, or live 3000 miles apart) if you're not looking to form a more intimate relationship?
For myself, personally, I will only date a non-smoker, or lives within a reasonable distance, but I'll correspond with anyone I find interesting enough. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:50:59 PM | | If something is such a dealbreaker that a person wouldn't go out with you because its in your profile, then that same person would also end the relationship whenever they do find out about the dealbreaker. Telling them upfront in your profile only saves both of you a lot of time and heartache. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:58:01 PM | I do tend to pass by the guys that note they drink often. Being someone who doesn't drink more than once or twice a year, I'm really not interested in dating someone who's tied to his bar stool. I actually will even pass by the guys who say they 'drink socially', but have nothing but pictures of them in the bars holding bottles of their fav. past-time! :)
Another thing I'll pass by is someone who does drugs. Not that I haven't 'been there, done that' in my lifetime, but at my age I have no use for that in my life. (and can't really have it in my life due to my association with the police force) :)
So, if you feel strongly that what someone's into just doesn't agree with your lifestyle, by all means, pass them by. For someone else's indulgence may turn out to be a breaking point in any possible relationship going forward! :) | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:00:36 PM | Oh yeah, you can change your profile name. Not sure why you don't know how to after you click edit then you click at the top Edit More Registration Details like passwords HERE
everything can be changed but your dob.
No there is no comparison. On a computer screen you press delete and it is all gone. I personally don't feel profiles are that creative on here and certainly don't read the long ones, I am not that bored or that interested. Paintings are entirely different that is a work of art that if done well is actually seen and felt by many. Profiles are seen and read by few.
As I said before, the people I know would rather have someone else ruin their clothing then ruining their own not to mention wasting their time when there are much more enjoyable things to do with their time. Nothing pretentious just fact. But you are describing the stereotypical person that we see on TV that I do not come in contact with and would not like to. I prefer gentlemen.
What we know about people is what they write in their profile. Profiles are in black and white and if you don't put in details it will alter the way you are perceived, sometimes details should be included. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:26:25 PM | There is one big turn-off for me.
One or two sentence profiles with no interests listed.
No imagination. No passion. Nothing. It shows me an insight into their mind...their wit...their humor...their intelligence...those are the sexy traits.
Yet these same people (by their description) are professionals. They spend more time focusing on their job than their profile, and I read that to mean relationship as well.
I'm sure there are exceptions...but your first impression is key...and a short profile doesn't make you stand out...you just melt in with all the other two-sentence profiles.
Would they expect to be hired on a two-sentence resumé? I don't think so. I bet they put a lot of time and effort into their resumé to ensure that they got the job of their dreams...yet that same passion is sadly missing from their profile in which they are looking for a long-term relationship.
Now this is just me...
(I chose to put as much info on my profile to give YOU enough information to see if any of my interests, interest YOU...or not...to save YOU all of the time and trouble of finding out the stuff over a lengthy period of time. I think YOU deserve that...don't us men?)
I'm sure many men will go for a woman that posts, "Fit, attractive, driven professional seeks the same. Must be d/d free and emmotionaly open."
I want eccentric, bold, nuts, wacky, intelligent, sassy, and able to write words which cause me to melt at the first sight.
It's your mind I want first. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:04:35 PM |
That's the point of profiles. You find and write to those you are compatible with and avoid those you are not.
And every once in a blue moon, someone who you wouldn't seem to be compatible with on paper just seems so fascinating that you write to him anyway ...... just to see what transpires ....  | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:58:08 PM | conchchowder makes a very good point. Fewer people see your resume than those whom see your profile. Does that make it any important?
Many resume professionals like to emphasize that your resume should fit you and give a prospective employer a sense of the kind of person that you are.
So, if it's really that important just for a job.....how much more important is it with regards to your love life......or your life's love???
lynnnn: I can explain why I don't know how to, and it's really simple. I start a new one and work on it for awhile, while I still have an active one running. When I get on here, I have friends to respond to, interests to respond to, and forums to respond to. Also, being a Virgo, I'm never satisfied with my current profile, so even it is always changing to some degree.
I personally don't feel profiles are that creative on here and certainly don't read the long ones, I am not that bored or that interested.
And here is where you start making no sense.
Profiles are in black and white and if you don't put in details it will alter the way you are perceived, sometimes details should be included.
Including details in a profile, necessarily will make said profile long. Long profiles also tend to be where people have gotten creative.
A short, detailed profile is an oxymoron. So, are you then saying that you are not that bored or that interested in details?
Also...........paintings that are true works of art, are normally hanging in a musum, and must be experienced in person to get the fullest effect. Profiles, however, can be experienced in the 1st person, by anyone whom has access to a computer with an internet connection. So, a profile has the potential of being seen by millions in one day. A painting? Not so much.
As for the car thing. Not only would I prefer to have a mechanic touch my car with an experienced hand. But I'd also prefer said mechanic to enjoy what he does! Otherwise, he might half-ass the repairs done to my car! Do I want to take that risk with precious cargo (ie; S/O and maybe kids) on-board my vehicle? I think not.
I decided to become a mechanic because I enjoyed working on cars and tinkering with fixing them up. I just, later, decided that it wasn't something that I wanted to do as a career. So, your statement about there being much more enjoyable things to do with his time is completely invalid if he enjoys working on cars. And, more than likely, he has clothes specifically set aside to wear while working on cars. You don't see guys changing the oil while wearing a three-piece suit!
BTW, what stereotypical men on TV are you referring to? I see lots of different stereotypes on TV.
Also, you might stop to consider that stereotypes are sereotypes for a reason. Meaning there has to be, at least some, truth and validity to them.
lynnnn, if you preferred gentlemen, then you'd prefer me. However, I think that you are ACTUALLY referring to genteel men. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:16:05 AM |
I don't understand skydiving. Why jump out of a perfectly healthy flying airplane.
Practice. All planes are 'healthy' until they crash. Not a good time to learn.
Actually, as a jumper, your automatic, flippant rejection of something I'm so passionate about is a major turnoff, so don't hold your breath waiting for a letter. Works out well for both of us that way, huh?
On Topic: Every time I read "I'll try anything once, except skydiving" it's like a knife through my heart. Instant back-click.
Blue Skyz,
Jumpin' JohnE | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:51:49 AM | spicynicegirl,
responding to subject line question, YES, thats what profiles are about, giving info so you can make semi informed decision .
Certain many women wont contact me because of smoking or some other thing in my profile.
concerning the example you posted, wine drinking or lack there of wouldnt be an issue for me. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:52:59 AM | Yes I might, but as someone said drinking often could be worse.
I wouldn't let that stop you from contacting someone though, everyone is different.
I think if I had your issue, it would stop me from contacting those who enjoy wine, but if the situation were reversed, it might not stop me from contacting them. They don't need to drink wine!
No imagination. No passion. Nothing. It shows me an insight into their mind...their wit...their humor...their intelligence...those are the sexy traits.
I agree, but I need the physical attraction too.
Yet these same people (by their description) are professionals. They spend more time focusing on their job than their profile, and I read that to mean relationship as well.
God yes, I'm currently experiencing that in my job and I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. However some people thrive on that and that's fine. I'll be having a chat with my boss after our conference is over because I REFUSE to work this much anymore. If people truly want to believe in life/work balance, they need to start really enforcing it. Many old people could learn a little from the 20 something generation who actually strive for more balance (I think they need a tad more work ethic, but they NEED to talk to each other) Just because someone is young doesn't mean you can't learn something from them.
I'm sure there are exceptions...but your first impression is key...and a short profile doesn't make you stand out...you just melt in with all the other two-sentence profiles.
I believe this too - BUT I went for many months with no emails, and then I posted a somewhat sexy pic and BANG! All kinds of replies and yes some were from nice guys too. Nice guys like sex too.
I chose to put as much info on my profile to give YOU enough information to see if any of my interests, interest YOU...or not...to save YOU all of the time and trouble of finding out the stuff over a lengthy period of time. I think YOU deserve that...don't us men?)
I like that, but others think they can get by on a picture and I'm starting to believe it's true - at least for first impressions.
I want eccentric, bold, nuts, wacky, intelligent, sassy, and able to write words which cause me to melt at the first sight.
Again, I had a weird profile at one time, very few responses and alot I found unappealing. Can't say I was sassy or wrote melty words though lol.
It begs the question - is quantity better than quality in that you could find quality within quantity? Or is it better to have less and hope for a bit of quality?
Something I go back and forth on all the time.
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:54:20 AM | Alls I can say is that some people write a bunch of crap that says nothing about them. It is total rhetoric that means nothing. I guess some people think they are highly funny when it reads like crap.
You are only allowed one profile on pof. You can be removed permanently for more than one profile on at the same time.
A gentleman is one that knows manners and uses them. I date men that have interests other than playing with things that someone else can work on for less money than they make, they don't have to get dirty, and they can utilize their time for more enjoyable activities. Usually men that prefer to use their brain in their job rather than do manual work. I do not date men that think that a fun afternoon is having a six pack and working on a car. They might golf and have a few drinks, but working on a car is not in list of exciting things to do. Of course visiting a museum would be another activity they would find interesting. Profiles can not be compared to art. Paintings that are considered art have been around for thousands of years and have been seen by billions. It is just ignorant to compare raisins with peaches.
Look you brought up the men standing around saying inappropriate jokes, working on cars, going to strip bars, etc., I don't know men like that and if you are one, that is your problem. I don't know what you think your profile says about you, but it reads like ramblings. I prefer to read straightforward information about what a man enjoys doing with his friends, family, or dates, that is what about me is about. If they mention in their profile physical activity, I know that they care about them self and that is important. Some people want to treat their profile as a joke, again, that is their problem and I don't bother reading the ramblings.
Beer guzzling, grease monkeys, saying inappropriate jokes do not interest me any more than someone representing them self with a photograph without their shirt on when they are over weight. They are unhealthy and their photograph says enough about them without reading their profile. This also goes for smoking being checked. Health is very important to me.
I think I have written enough on this subject. I think that it should be clear that I look for men I find to be intelligent, work with their minds and have activities that are physical rather than bending the elbow or getting greasy. I have no desire to get to know people that are not like this, this is why there is information written in black and white to describe who they are. | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:44:31 PM | Focusing on avoiding rejection as you write your profile will make it come out pretty "OFF"
Focus on making it "True to you".
A simple line saying alcohol/wine gives me headaches, is clear & simple.
If someone blows by your profile solely because of seeing that? they're either foolish or their sole interest is to get you hammered enough to be willing to sleep with them.
Either way it's actually a nice "filter" | |
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| Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:18:08 PM | If he put that he was married, seperated, looking for sex only, or intamate incounters, a heavey drinker, and heavey smoker, or way shorter or way younger/older, or into some realy weird things I don't aprove of, then you bet....
One of the reasons we have preferneces on here, and need to read what are in the profiles people write.  | |
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