| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:15:00 AM | ha ha ha.. I thought of another one.. actually the date itself went well.
After it was over thoough he called me and told me he was going to call and leave something on my voicemail that he wanted me to listen to. I thought that was odd, but ok whatever..
So he calls me not once, not twice, but THREE times to leave this ridiclous voicemail where he BEGS me to call him back so we can meet anywhere I want, anytime I want as long as its comfortable for both of us so we can..and i quote.. "make-out, you know kiss.. because I really want to.. with you" and from there it just got worse and worse. He left his number about 9 times and then told me to call him an if he doesnt' answer leave a message, with a yes or no and the reasons why it's a yes or no.. and if he doesn't call me back after 30 minutes to keep calling until he answers..
Hmm.. I didn't call him back.. and thankfully he didn't call me again either..
Entertainment value of these voicemails was a 10! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:52:40 AM | Haha, some of these are hilarious.
My *first* POF date, we talked for a couple weeks, a few emails, then IM/phone calls, she seemed nice, setup a dinner date (on Monday) for that coming Friday...
Her: Don't get any ideas about sex on the first date.
Me: Um, ok, no plans of that, just dinner and conversation, get to know each other and see if we 'click' in person, you never know until you meet someone in person if there's anything there.
Her: I agree. And I really know how to take care of a man in bed...
Uhhhh... ok, lets meet first? She spent the rest of the week tossing "sexual comments" at me, I really was having 2nd thoughts about the dinner date, but I'd made a commitment so I figured I'd honor it.
On our date, at dinner, we get talking about her POF dates she's met... quite a few wanted sex after dinner (gee, after a week of sex comments before our date, I wonder why?  ) - told her not to worry, no ideas, lets just talk and get to know each other.
Then she tells me "the last one drove 2 hours to meet me, and proposed to me at dinner". (I laughed at that one) Um, ok, don't worry about that - not against marriage, but I hardly know you, not something I plan on rushing into. "Good."
Next morning she IM's me (10AM saturday).
Her: My niece wants to know if you have a younger brother.
Me: (ok, kinda flattering) Sorry, I'm the youngest.
Her: Don't think I'm going to marry you right away.
Me: Um, ok, didn't we talk about that last night? We've only had one date.
Her: I just don't want you to think we'll be married right away.
Me: Did I say anything to make you think I was in a hurry, or even thinking marriage at this point?
Her: No, I just don't think we should get married before a year.
ok... we had dinner together, *once*... and I'm starting to feel like she's planning the wedding already!
I tried for the next week to say "slow down", to a barrage of comments (virtually every hour, all day long, even while I was at work) about how she could "take care of me in bed, her ex-husband never had any complaints" before I said "enough". She IM'd me for over a month after that before she finally gave up. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:02:39 PM | God , that's scary, I haven't had a date here yet but maybe I should just stick to the bars!
At least you can usually weed out the stalkers there before you date one!
Thanks for the post
Jeffinga2 | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:39:36 PM | A date I met at a resteraunt... everything went ok and the check comes, I pick it up and she snatches it out of my hands...
Her: I'm taking care of this!
Me: No, that's ok. I got it.
Her: No way, I asked you out so I am paying the bill.
Me: No really, it's ok. I will get it. (try to take the bill back from her)
Her: NO, I GOT IT AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! (she pulls the bill away from me)
Me: Are you sure?
Her: Yes, I am sure.
Me: Ok then.
After she pays we get up and walk out... Now in the parking lot...
Her: This isn't going to work, don't call me or email me ever again.
Me: Ok... what's wrong?
Her: That was a test and you FAILED!!!
Me: What do you mean a test???
Her: You were supposed to pay no matter what it takes! You're a cheap skate!!!
OMG....was she 12? That's just sad!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:25:52 PM |
#7. Because I've lived my life learning how to be more than just a penis, despite what the cosmo magazine in your Vera Wang purse will have you believe [yes, actual magazine. Actual purse.]
Well-said.
You'd be surprised to know the overwhelming majority of the male population are NOT dogs, contrary to what some members of 'the sisterhood' would have you believe. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/3/2009 12:36:14 PM | | Sweeetbabeblues msg #16===Wow, this sounds more like a hostage situation than a date. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:29:39 AM | | Some great stories. It amazes me that there are people out there who act like that. I'm sure everyone has or will have screwed up a first date/impression but damn some of these are ridiculous. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:03:24 PM | Best one I had was when I was standing outside the pub waiting for a date to arrive. Only two lines were spoken;
Her: 'Hallo! Nice to finally meet you!'
Me: (realising her pic was at least 10 years old) 'Oh no, I hope you aren't here to tell me something has happened to your daughter, I was really looking forward to this date' | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:21:43 PM | Strangely I feel a little jealous now... all the women I've met have been fairly sane and normal...
So I don't have any really good stories to tell as a result. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/4/2009 3:00:59 PM | Wow, OP, truth sometimes is truly stranger than fiction. They say things come in threes. So you're almost at three four times over, so it should be clear sailing once #11 and #12 are out of the way. But make sure you fill us in on what they end up being :)
(not laughing with or at you; cringing on your behalf... you're due some decent luck) :) | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:02:02 PM | I have 3. Two werent on this site, but still were bad.
Scenario 1:
I was talkin to someone for the first time on the phone.
Him: So have you ever been raped?
Me: Um no. (thinking really weird question)
Him: Have you ever been in jail?
Me: No. Have you?
Him: Yes. I dated a girl once and she lied about her age. She told me she was 19. She was really 15.
Me: Oh really. I have to go.
Scenario 2:
While were on the date, he spends a half hour, literally talkin about his ex. I learned everything about her. He even told me the three times she texted him during this date. Later on, when kissing him goodbye, he wispered "Wanna go in the back of my car and have sex?" Sorry no buddy. He kept calling afterwards and left many messages asking what went wrong. Duh!!!!
Scenario 3: A friend set me up with this guy her husband works with. Were at a resteraunt having dinner. It was a little busy in there but not too much. It was taking a while for the check to come.
Him: Hey, you know what I do sometimes?
Me: What?
Him: Walk out without paying. I figure if they take too long to bring the check, they dont deserve to get paid.
Me: I used to be a waitress. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/5/2009 1:34:53 AM | | My god there are some stupid ass wipes out there, you must have the patience of the vigin mary, some poor girl will get stuck with that guy one day | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/5/2009 4:25:14 AM | Joe: ROFL. My sides hurt from it, it's priceless. How about one from a woman's perspective.
Sometime in the middle of dinner:
He: You really have a beautiful smile.
Me: Thank you
He: Where did you get your teeth, they're so perfect?
Me: (dumb founded, mouth agape) Ahh? They grew there? | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:36:54 AM | Later on, when kissing him goodbye, he wispered "Wanna go in the back of my car and have sex?"
Golly gee - and you let this prize slip through your fingers? LOL. | |
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A1QT
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Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 242 | |
| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/5/2009 11:35:05 AM | Check out this girl's first dates! www.chroniclesofaserialdater.com
I just found it today. I thought mine were bad. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/5/2009 12:30:47 PM | Reading this lot gave me the giggles. Thats were chat and mailing to your interest.Can sort most of that out.You can ask a load of questions and read between the lines. some dont like to chat just meet.By chatting first can save you time and money.If you dont like what you hear, or you think its not a good idea. tell them then delete.I met someone in a public place years ago. he tried to do something untoward.I was annoyed and told him that.I went to the manger and asked if someone could walk me to my car. which they did.Then drove round my area for a while incase i was followed.A woman cant be to careful. Net dating has man y problems..just always beaware and get to know a little about that person before you meet them.
happy hunting | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 4/10/2009 2:44:49 PM | a first date to be and I arranged to meet at the beach with our dogs one Sunday morning.
I get out of my car, he looks at me and says 'you're cute do you want to go steady?'
I said we had only just met!!
That was about the extent of his conversation. Needless to say there were no more dates. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 4/10/2009 5:34:04 PM | | Wow, you've turned up some really scary people. I've never had an experience like that fortunately. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 4/10/2009 5:57:26 PM | Good grief, man, you have got to learn how to screen people more carefully, YIKES...
Suz aka Sami | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:20:10 PM | Well, it has been a while since my original post. For the most part, things have been quiet with nothing really worth reporting. However, my crazy-magnet obviously finished hibernating/recharging/updating and I have some more additions to situations that derailed a first date (and as before, these are true!). So without further ado, I bring you:
Number 11:
Me: (Sitting in the coffee shop) “Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you in person! You look fantastic!”
Her: “Aw, thanks. I have to tell you, I was having second thoughts about coming.”
Me: “Really? Why is that? Is it something I said when we talked on the phone yesterday?”
Her: “Oh no…nothing that you said. But don’t worry, I spoke to my therapist and he convinced me it would be good for me to come.”
Me: “You spoke to your therapist about meeting me for coffee during lunch?”
Her: “Oh yeah. I get nervous sometimes. It’s a good thing he woke up when I called last night.”
Number 12:
(After finding out that despite listing herself as “Single/No Children”, she admitted that she was never married but has four children and gave me some details…)
Her: Look, I’ve made some mistakes and I shouldn’t have lied about having children. Can we just talk about something else?
Me: OK, I just want you to know that it is a bit of a “red flag” to me. I don’t have a problem if you have children and anyone who does isn’t worth your time.
Her: You’re right, I’m sorry. What did you end up doing last weekend?
Me: Well, I was with some friends and we were all together at a friend’s house in PA. We did some riding and went to the target range and…
Her: (Interrupting) Target range?! With real guns?!
Me: Well…yeah. Rifles actually. We were using 22 rifles and…
Her: (Interrupting) Oh, no, no, no! I got a real problem with that!!
Me: With target shooting?
Her: With GUNS!! This isn’t going to work. What kind of example does that set for my children?
Me: You are worried a group of professionals with legally-owned firearms would set a bad example for your children?
Her: Yes!
Me: The four children you had from four different guys?
Her: (pause) Yes.
Me: Two of which ran off according to you and the other two are in jail.
Her: (longer pause) Don’t change the subject! I was younger and used to party a lot!
Me: But your youngest is only 16-months old!
Her: I grew up a lot and I’m a different person now.
Me: And you are worried that I will set a bad example?
Her: You don’t have to be so mean!
Number 13:
(The setup here is familiar. The only exception was that after exchanging emails over the course of about a week, I asked if she would like to talk on the phone. Instead she wrote back and suggested that we meet at a local park near the coffee stand the following day. I agreed because, hey what could happen, right? Yes, I’m an idiot…)
Her: (Walking over to my table, obviously 10+ years older and 50+ pounds heavier…) “Yo Joe, I is…”
(OK, time for an editing note here. I’m pretty sure that is what she began to say, but I can’t be absolutely sure. She literally spoke like English was maybe a third language and primarily learned by listening to rap music. Remember those two guys on “Airplane” that spoke jive? I understood them better even without looking at the subtitles. A far cry from the beautifully written emails I was getting over the course of a week.)
Me: “Uh, hang on a second. Are you really the person I was emailing all this time? You don’t look like your pictures and, well, you don’t “sound” the same.
Her: “O yea, well, I jus ain’t dat cool wif dat compuder sh*t so I gots my daw-ter to writes da sh*t fo me.
(And before anyone thinks that I am stereotyping or being racist or mean, understand that this was a 41-year old Irish/Italian girl. I just write ‘em as I hear ‘em. Don’t kill the messenger.)
Well, the good news is that I finally hit lucky number 13. The bad news is that these things tend to come in threes…which means there are probably at least 2 more in my future. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:45:17 PM | Hilarious.
1. The date seems to be going well about a hour into it i mention that a dear friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver . she then proceeds to tell me she has been arrestede3 times for dwi but she would never ever kill anybody behind a wheel and says that the sleazebag who killed my friend should get the death penalty. | |
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