| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:38:03 PM |
John,
I read your post and your profile.
All I can say about it is:
Saving throw versus lunacy….FAILED!
(I figured you would get the reference…!)
I am thankful that you are a guy…if you were a woman living near me; chances are (with my luck) you would end up being “Number 11”!
:P
Too True. After that encounter with the mind-flayer, I've never really been the same. (Damn My Low Willpower saves.) | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:01:11 PM | oki doki , " joe"
let me think about all that and when Im done laughing , ( not that it is funny ) I get back with you , lol
okokok , I like number 2 the best ... now that the cat is out of the bag you can tell us ,, what you covered up right ,lol, did you cover up E.T's ship ????????
talking about nut jobs here lol
I am sooryyyyyyyy | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:04:57 PM | I related to message 16, poor bluesbabe. I cannot believe you stuck in there that long. I don't think I have any stories to compare, but *paranoia* maybe I am the one who does the first date *killing* bwahahahahahahaha
Guy: What do you do for fun?
Me: Play video games!!11!!
Guy: Oh? What kind
Me: Console and PC games. Specifically MMO's, I also like pen and paper RPG's! I recently got into a few FPS'ers and really love GOW and AO2, but Mercenaries 2 hooked me with that trailer "oh no you didn't" it was amazing!! I can youtube the making of the trailer with the full song. Want to see it?
Guy: You are a nerd.
Me: Duh! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:20:07 PM | | Joe and some of you other posters, these scenarios are hilarious. If you haven't already written into scripts for plays or short films, you should. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:33:11 PM | | Some women really are insane. And you've seemed to have found the majority of them.. (Move away from where you live!) Haha. :) Better luck on the next one, Joe. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:16:09 PM | Liebesfliege,
I’ve covered up nothing. There was no landing. Oh and the fact that my motorcycle can fly now was just a dealer option…
Nerd,
With me the conversation would have ended with me saying:
Joe: “Bah, I bet I have more gold guns in CoD4 that you do!”
Real-Me,
I would…but no one would believe it…
Carnal,
Now why would I move away from NYC and miss out on all these stories?! No, I’ll take insane over boring when it comes to a date. At least I get years of laughter out of insane! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:42:11 PM |
I related to message 16, poor bluesbabe. I cannot believe you stuck in there that long.
LOL... I had to...he had the keys, and I was miles from home......  | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:43:37 PM | | Dayuuuuum!!! Well, Happy Birthday, late! I would have been afraid to get back in the car with a lunatic like that! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:48:39 PM | | I say tomorrow night, lol!!!!! I dont think there is a time limit. I have gone out on dates the day I met someone online. Just for dinner. I usually dont like to spend too much time chatting cause you never get to know a person when they can hide behind a computer. Audrey | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:49:51 PM | Lady.... Actualy I was, but I had no choice......
And to top it off he drank one stinking drink, then blaimed me because his stomach hurt.... I take it with his meds he wasn't supposed to be drinking at all....
Omg.... The date from hell had arrived...... And yes, girls...he is on this site...... | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:59:14 PM | | OMG girl this was hilarious! But also very scary. I never let a man drive me unless he is a local man and we are going somewhere local. Other than that I drive myself becasue if you even give me a hint that you are an idiot Im out. You are a brave woman. Did he take the steak home with him or did you take it home to the dogs, lol. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:59:43 PM | I had one IM conversation where she asked if I had a webcam, I said no and asked why..... she said that if I did she'd be able to see spirits in the background and would be able to talk to them and tell me who they were.....
I'm afraid that after that, the only spirit in the room with me was Johnny Walker....... | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:05:52 PM | Exiss,
You missed a wonderful opportunity!
Personally, I would have gone out right then and bought a web cam if I didn’t have one. Then I would have a friend dress up in white-face makeup and have him occasionally walk in and out of frame behind me.
If that didn’t freak her out enough, I’d have the “ghost” kill me on camera. Then, a few days later, she would start receiving really badly misspelled emails with strange symbols and fonts from my email account… | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:08:39 PM | OMG girl this was hilarious! But also very scary. I never let a man drive me unless he is a local man and we are going somewhere local. Other than that I drive myself becasue if you even give me a hint that you are an idiot Im out. You are a brave woman. Did he take the steak home with him or did you take it home to the dogs, lol.
He is local unfortunatly... Or gave his address as here anyway, but I later found out he lives about 40 miles from Hannibal, Mo. He took me to his place,way out in the boonies, and the red flags started flying.... And he still has his address as here...I just checked.... Also said in his profile that he is slow to anger...OMG...just the opposite for sure....And most of his profile is not the truth.. He doesn't do shares in farming, he only works for this guy, in an old house rent free, that is falling in.... A Jeff Foxworthy moment for sure with all the crap in the yard, and grass as high as my shoulders.... And five dogs living in the house with him... All true!
But to answer your question..... Naw...I left the steak.. I should have thrown it at him, and told him to eat the damn raw thing....I swear it was still mooing on the platter when we left.........  | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:29:56 PM | Her: I don't have sex on the first date so don't get any ideas!
Me: That's fine with me, I don't care.
Her: Good because I don't want you to think I am a sleeze or something.
Me: I understand, I'm fine with it.
(She shows up at my place)
Her: I stopped at the store and got some beer and condom
Can I have her number?
This one happened to me:
Her:"What do you do for a living?"
Me:"I'm a manager"
Her:"Does it pay well?"
Me:"Yeah it pays the bills"
Her:"Like how much do you make?"
Me:"Im sorry but I don't give that information out on a first date"
Needless to say I didn't see her a second time.
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:34:56 PM | Her: I noticed that you are looking at me scratching myself. I think my dog has fleas.
Me: Umm, yes i noticed, but i was thinking more along the lines of a rash.
Her: Oh, ok.
Me, thinking to myself: Where is the nearest exit?
Yes, this actually happened to the ol' pilot.  | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:53:44 PM | | Love the part where you thought the steak was still mooing on the plater....I needed that laugh... | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:02:16 PM | You poor thing. I really mean that.. You can try to communicate with people long enough to get a sense of their fundamental values and screen out the ones that aren't compatible with you. Still, some people slip through that filter and end up as horrible first dates.
I applaud you for your perseverance and wish you all the best. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:14:29 PM | Joe. I was going to throw it out there, "You MUST be dating in NY" I decided to check, and sure enough......
Don't need to ask now I knew. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:29:20 PM | First date, watching a football game (yes, I do like football)
He: Want something to drink?
Me: No thanks
He proceeds to fill a very large glass with straight whisky (think extra large slushy glass - my thought is WOW)
We watch the game. Our team wins. I lean forward to take a drink of my water and he shoves his hand down the back of my pants.
I go completely ballistic on the guy. I mean WTF?! We hadn't even held hands or kissed - zero intimacy that might lead him to believe that would be okay.
He starts crying.....yeah, like a baby that I am being mean and he doesn't understand why women treat him that way. I think OMFG am I really living this nightmare?! I grab my things and run like hell.
First date, sitting at a picnic table at a park.
He: I am a born-again Christian, but I don't push it on people. Are you religious?
Me: No, I am more spiritual.
He: My last girlfriend was spiritual too. She liked to drink her own urine.
Me: I'm not that spirtual
He: That's good cuz I never got used to kissing her after she drank some.
I got off the bench and walked away.....
First date - meeting at a library. It is about 3 degrees in Colorado. I am sitting in my truck waiting for the guy. He pulls up in a vehicle with an older woman. She smiles and waves at me. He jumps out and looks A LOT younger than his said '32' years.
I am in shock. He opens my car door and jumps in. The lady waves at me frantically with a huge grin.
He: My mom said she thinks your really cute.
Me: How old are you?
He: What did I say I was?
Me: Age please?
He: Aww, come on...I really like older women.
Me: Age....now!
He: (sulking) 18
Me: I will take you out for lunch and then I am taking you home.
He: Can I get french fries?
My sister (who is happily married with three children) loves when I date. By the way - all three of those men I met on Match.....and more but I think those go to show it is weird on both sides.
Dating is tough.... | |
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