| | Sure-Fire First-Date KillersPage 8 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) | The guy - from this site - who wanted to bring his female friend along as we needed to like each other for his future plans!! Didnt go on that date!!
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/10/2008 8:27:07 PM | Oh Yeah! This man brought his physic, without any warning! That date
lasted 2 minutes... | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/16/2008 4:01:33 PM | | been out with a couple of them . it's amazing how there are not that many people in the world just abunch of copies of people. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/16/2008 4:43:27 PM | I met this guy on Yahoo Personals:
Me: You like drinking shots? (he's downed quite a few)
Him: What was that? I have a hearing loss in my left ear. Had an accident.
Me: What happened? (raises voice)
Him: Well, I told you about my business failing and my wife leaving me last year.
Me: Go on.
Him: I took a bottle of valium and drank a fifth of vodka and got out my pistol.
Me: Oh my god, what happened?
Him: I missed and grazed my ear.
Me: Ooookaaay (thinks there are some things you should never tell anybody). Hate to cut this short, but I have a big project due tomorrow. Thanks for the drink. Drive carefully. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:27:59 PM | ME: Were you ever unfaithful to your wife?
HIM: Absolutely not.
ME: Do you think she was to you?
HIM: Oh, no. She wasn't a slut?
ME: Hmm, what do you mean by that?
HIM: Well, she's a good girl. You know, like you, I know you would neeeevvvvver sleep with two guys at a time.
ME: Hmmmm, really?
HIM: Yeah, and anyway, I used to check up on her, her phone, her messages . . .
Me, to myself, in my mind: Can someone say, Stalker. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/16/2008 9:17:12 PM | Hey sweetbabeblues
sounds like a terrible date. What an ass.Atleast you got a beer though
I probably would of called a guy friend or someone to come get me sounds like he kinda held you against your will with all the driving around and bull shit. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/17/2008 3:35:16 AM | Someone randomly added me as a friend on one of those well-known websites. We had a great conversation via AIM and it carried over to text messages for a few days. Neither one of us had really planned on a potential relationship, but we had discussed what we were looking for in a partner. After the third day or so, we decided to meet up casually at his place. Neither one of us like being alone, so he said that he wanted some company. That was all fine and everything, hanging out never hurt anyone.
(Playing Wii)
Him: Wow, you're really good at punting that ball. You sure you've never done that?
Me: Nope. First time.
Him: Well, you won. Claim your prize.
Me: What prize?
Him: This prize. (He whips out his junk.)
Me: I really gotta go.
Him: Don't you like it? I shaved just for you!
I've never left one place in such a hurry. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/17/2008 3:50:30 AM | Message 16 - Sweetbabeblues -- That has to be the most funniest post i have ever read here so far.
aww wat a nutjob..
laughing at him. not at you, of course.
thanks for sharing ..
tears rolling down my face with laughter xx | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:38:23 AM | That has to be the funniest story I have ever read about a date.
At the same time I felt bad for you I could not help but laugh. And it sounds
like you kept your sense of humor throughout this terrible man's poor excuse
of treating you to dinner for your birthday.
And then after all of the torture he puts you through he asked if he could stay
overnight! That really takes some nerve on his part,but par for the course
after his earlier actions.
Hope all your future dates with other men go much better.
Good Luck and Take Care | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/17/2008 8:07:33 PM | This has to be the funniest thread I've read so far!!
Poor Joe. What a bunch of wierdo's !! You picked some good ones!!
And sweetbabyblues ?? What a memorable birthday!! After driving around for three and a half hours you finally get to eat. He demanded you eat that horrible cold and bleeding steak?? And he had one drink and blamed you because his stomach hurt? That's hilarious.
Message # 50 . He cried at the football game because he said you were being mean when you cracked it because he shoved his hand down the back of your pants???
I hope I'm not the last post. Keep the stories coming.....please.....!! | |
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musi5
| | Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 190 | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/1/2008 2:29:18 PM | | OMFG! If these r seriously true you should consider selling this stuff to a stand up comedian, or starting a reality show " untold stories of internet dating" . You could be a millionaire! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:50:02 PM | | Darn it! Sorry for the disappointment :). Aren't you glad that not all women are that way. Yeah for the nice ones. They are out there don't give up! She will find you. | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:26:46 PM | LOLOL...I'm sure I have several (actual, not exaggerated)...'dates' that can top those,
especially the serial killer (sorry, NOT joking....---- good thing I didnt meet him in the
isolated area to go canoeing and stuck to my instincts)....
It gets frustrating after awhile.....these folks waste so much of our time~~~ | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:15:42 PM | | You are much better off. As hard as it was, letting her go was the right thing to do!! HAHA | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:22:00 PM | A guy from this site on date 3. "So I was thinking we could take a vacation in March and go skiing in Vale." Not that I have a particular dislike of skiing in Vale. I love snow skiing... But it's the 3rd date. Needless to say, there was no 4th date.
Seems like I meet guys on fast forward or turtle speed. Is anyone normal? | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:20:43 AM | [Number 1:
Her: “Have you ever really evaluated your relationship with God?”
Me: “Um, well, I guess. Why?”
Her: (Digging in her purse) “I think you should read these pamphlets…”]
I'm sorry but that is just HILLARIOUS! Did you laugh in her face and then be like "Oh you're serious!" LOL I'm a christian and very involved in my faith and my walk with God, but thats a topic you ease into and handle with care and caution at times....lol. She's doing the misionary dating thing! LOL
[Number 2:
Her: “You know, those weren’t airplanes that crashed in the towers”
Me: “Really? Were you there, too?”
Her: “Oh no. I was in . Why, were you?”
Me: “Yes.”
Her: “No you weren’t!”
Me: “Yes I was. 1 WTC to be exact. Then I worked on the pile for 2 months.”
Her: “So! You are part of the cover-up too!”]
I'm sorry but that was funnier than the first one. I was on the floor dying with laughter!
Dude I can't even comment on the rest.....if I die of laughter, it's your fault! LMAO! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:26:08 AM | [Me: "So have you dated many guys in college so far"
Her: "No, not really. I don't believe in sex before marriage so that kind of turns alot of guys off I guess"
Me: "Oh, well it's good to wait till you are ready" (Actually thinking: "Can I go now?") ]
That was lame and not even funny. Whats wrong with that? *roll eyes* | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:28:32 AM | [Her: I don't have sex on the first date so don't get any ideas!
Me: That's fine with me, I don't care.
Her: Good because I don't want you to think I am a sleeze or something.
Me: I understand, I'm fine with it.
(She shows up at my place)
Her: I stopped at the store and got some beer and condoms.
A date I met at a resteraunt... everything went ok and the check comes, I pick it up and she snatches it out of my hands...
Her: I'm taking care of this!
Me: No, that's ok. I got it.
Her: No way, I asked you out so I am paying the bill.
Me: No really, it's ok. I will get it. (try to take the bill back from her)
Her: NO, I GOT IT AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! (she pulls the bill away from me)
Me: Are you sure?
Her: Yes, I am sure.
Me: Ok then.
After she pays we get up and walk out... Now in the parking lot...
Her: This isn't going to work, don't call me or email me ever again.
Me: Ok... what's wrong?
Her: That was a test and you FAILED!!!
Me: What do you mean a test???
Her: You were supposed to pay no matter what it takes! You're a cheap skate!!!]
LOL....thats pretty funny too actually! | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:31:42 AM | [Her: "Hey John. It's really nice to meet you."
Me: "Hi. Would you like to come to my place and see my collection of shovels?"
Her: "Huh, What?"
Me: "My shovels, they are my pretties. I use them to bury the bad ones, for the worms. The worms like bad ones."
Her: "You... are a weirdo." - (OMG?!!)
Me: "They're shiny, I keep them clean and make them pretty."
Her: "I'm leaving... Freak." - (ROFLMAO LOLOL. WHAT A CRAZY LOON AND NO MANNERS)
Her: "You're cuter in real life than you are in your picture!"
Me: "Thank you, you'd look much cuter in my basement."
Her: "Huh, What?"
Me: "I can juse see you all nice and tied up. You look so pretty and helpless."
Her: "I'm leaving." - (WTF?!)
Her: "I really enjoyed our evening together, Would you like to come in for some coffee?"
Me: "Coffee, What the Hell? Are you some Communist? Do you hate America?"
Her: "What?"
Me: "Coffee is the wine of the communist. You hate America, and it's foundations! You're in league with the Russians! YOU HATE FREEDOM! ADMIT IT! HERETIC! BURN THE WI-"]
thats not funny....thats just creppy! :-s | |
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| Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:54:36 AM |
Number 1:
Her: “Have you ever really evaluated your relationship with God?”
Me: “Um, well, I guess. Why?”
Her: (Digging in her purse) “I think you should read these pamphlets…”
Her : "are you SURE you have adequate life insurance? take a look at these.."
Her: "have you ever thought about a fantastic business opportunity?"
(hands you an Amway flyer/recruitment material)
Her: "are you right with God?"
(hands you Jehovah's Witness propaganda) | |
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