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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:18:20 PM |
Guys what goes thru your heads??? Does courtesy exist??? Then if and when they do call, of course I am pissed and they wonder WHY???
Girls what goes thru your heads??? Does courtesy exist??? Then if and when they do call, of course I am pissed and they wonder WHY???
I fail to see why you think the guy is the only person person who isn't being courteous. I don't suppose it ever occured to you to be the one who makes that courtesy call. Where do you get the notion that you shou;ld be pissed off about not being extended the same courtesy you failed to extend? | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:50:52 PM |
You meet someone that you get along great with, a few dates later you decide to be intimate. You fully expect to hear from him the next day or the day after at the latest. No phone call...nothing!!! How would you feel??? Would you ever see this person again. I had this recent experience and am totally appalled.
Unfortunately it happens a lot. It would seem he only wanted one thing. It's the chance you take when you sleep with someone too soon.
Perhaps he was married and you were just a quick roll for him...
Learn from it and don't repeat the pattern... | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:04:16 PM | Do people make deals because of sex?
OP if he doesn't call, he doesn't call. So you had sex. Big whup. Time to put on your big girl underpants. Obviously, you aren't wired for casual sex. If you had sex looking for a relationship, you should of told him that you expected him to be your bf if you slept with him. But I still have a feeling you would of slept with him and he still wouldn't of called you. Don't blame him for not calling you. Blame yourself for expecting a commitment after a one night stand. Let's call a spade a spade. Anywho, if you need to get closure then call him. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:17:44 PM | | I think I am going to go along with what I heard from another forum. Make a rule with yourself that you will not get intimate until after 10 dates with that person. You will give yourself a goal to work toward and in the meantime, you get to know the other person and get a better feel for what they are looking for. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:01:35 PM | Face it, we all get played from time to time, and sounds like this is yet another player.
One reason I'm not one to jump into bed when I first meet someone. If they don't like that idea, and don't come back, then I know that is the only thing they were after....
Makes life a whole lot easier by Just saying NO......  | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:54:32 PM | The question seems a bit moot at this point.
I guess one of the morals to this story is that if you sleep with someone.......
that doesn't guarantee they will stay around.
Does taking the time to get to know someone before sleeping with them
count for anything anymore?
Has sex now become an inducement to stay in a relationship?
I am such a fool......I thought it meant something else! | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 8:44:00 PM | How would you feel???
I'd feel as though I got what I should have.
Used and dumped.
If someone has sex with another person who they do not know, they shouldn't expect that person to treat them with any respect or courtesy.
You teach people how to treat you.
If you don't know that your sexual partner will behave toward you the way you wish to be treated AFTER being intimate....
You may not know them well enough to have sex.
Just a thought.
I wait to have sex with a man until I know how he will behave toward me the day after, and the week after, and the month after.
If I don't know him that well?
Then I don't know him well enough to have him INSIDE of my body.
That's MY opinion. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:18:10 PM |
Face it, we all get played from time to time, and sounds like this is yet another player.
The OP is an adult and she made an adult decision to sleep with someone. She was no more played than he was. What is with the idea that women are too irresponsible to make a decision to say yes? | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:29:06 PM | | Most men I know, well they're after one thing. I know 2 married ones that cruise around on places like this. Hiding from the wife, yikes. Always remember safe sex is no sex, third date rule is out of the question these days. I think he was rude anyway, he was just an ***hole. Kinda guy that gives men like me a bad name | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:02:08 AM | Guys what goes thru your heads??? Does courtesy exist??? Then if and when they do call, of course I am pissed and they wonder WHY???
You may have hit it off on some levels but? obviously there was no chemistry or sexual connection?
*NEXT* | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:58:07 AM | | OP superserial basically has said everything I was thinking. Men will often say or do anything until they can get you into bed. Then the challenge is over.................sad but true. I don't know that I will ever understand a man. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:18:46 AM | | Hi OP sadly there are some people Male and Female who just want to take advantage of you, perhaps they don't even realise they are doing it. Everyone is different, you just have to move on, but don't think we are all the same, i'm sure most of us are genuine on our intent, but it's tough to spot those who are'nt. Go with your gut feeling, it generally works for me - of course there are always exceptions to the rule!! Good Luck. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:21:45 PM |
Msg: 39 -- You may have hit it off on some levels but? obviously there was no chemistry or sexual connection?
Wow, BIG surprise! This is to be EXPECTED on ANY connection!!!!
*NEXT*
Umm, logical conclusion for ANY unsuccessful "connection", which REALLY means there was NO connection at ALL! | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:47:12 PM |
Msg: 40 -- Men will often say or do anything until they can get you into bed. Then the challenge is over.................sad but true. I don't know that I will ever understand a man.
SOME "Men will often say or do anything until they can get you into bed", NOT all.
I don't know that I will ever understand a man.
You will never understand until you realize that there are TWO kinds of men: the SEARCHER and the BESMIRCHER.
The SEARCHER **TRULY** desires a compatible mate and will not lie, since deception destroys ANY love-based relationship.
The BESMIRCHER desires immediate gratification, usually at the expense of a hard-won reputation. Unfortunately, the reputation suffers as an expense of the encounter, whether or not the woman "complies" with any demands or not. She is "reputed" as compliant, and it is EXTREMELY difficult to shake that reputation.
The "Double Standard" still exists, regardless of efforts to the contrary.
Personally, I pay no attention to "reputations". I observe behavior DIRECTLY, and see PERSONALLY what esteem **I** pose in her eyes. THEN I form my opinion of her accordingly. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/27/2008 12:04:06 AM | I am certain your not alone on this one, it's best to make choices based on consequences sometimes. It saves on a great deal of stress for yourself and regrets.
Bluntly, the choice was made by two ppl and you decided on your own to go through with it. So this is not one sided. And there are no rules on how you should react. You also have proven that this isn't the first time, so you should know your general response if he doesn't call. You have no case. Case closed. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:12:41 PM | I'd say not calling back eventually is a deal breaker. But really, I have to question that the man is the one that must call after sexual intimacy. And this isn't to say I wouldn't call first, because I often do, but I don't think it should be an expectation.
Like others have said already, a lot the confusion and disappointment here comes from a lack a discussion beforehand about what having sex meant in the first place. Assuming that a man or woman is looking for commitment and will want to talk to you after having sex is very faulty thinking. In fact, assumptions in general are often just plain faulty.
I'm usually a little cautious about getting intimate right away. Especially the first few dates, even if the chemistry is strong. And I try to have at least some conversation about it beforehand, so we're not totally in the dark about intentions. In the end, there's always some risk involved. Sometimes, the connection just isn't there, or someone gets scared, or something else happens and things end.
So, do your best to be clear about your intentions and desires beforehand, and be ok with it if the risk doesn't work out despite your best efforts. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:34:30 PM | So you think your getting to know a guy after a few dtaes so you decid to give him sex. Why would he call you back? You gave him what he wanted. Way too soon I might add. Unfortunatly most guys ruin it for the few of us who aren't interested in sex with someone we're not in love with. If you think thats what you had after a few dates then he played you Miss Naive. 
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:03:27 PM | Depends. Was the sex good or just a means to an end? Him for some release and you for a relationship?
Wait.. what's the question in regards to "deal breaker"?
I mean, how are you going to see him again if he doesn't call? Isn't it a moot question if the person in question no longer wants to see you?
I honestly can't say what I would do. I've never been in that situation. I tend to have sex when I really want to and not because I think it is the expected thing or because it's been X amount of dates.
I can say when I have hit it and quit it... it's usually because either the person really, really sucked in bed or they did something after that set off the weird meter. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/28/2008 4:22:04 AM | Piece of advice, it’s not a good idea to become intimate with a guy after a few dates. Ever, period. Why?
Ever seen a guy hanging on the edge of his seat watching a football game in overtime screaming at the TV like they can hear him? He cheers, he whines, he cries, he even pounds his fists on the floor. He might even throw the nachos.
Ever seen a guy watching a game in the second quarter and he looks un-interested? You ask why and he says, “Team A is stomping the crap out of team B, it’s already over.” He flips through the channels before flippin back to the game. Heck, if he thinks it’s definitely in the bag for team A he might even turn off the freaking TV and go fishing!
So just in case you missed it, having sex before you even get to half time will cause him to lose interest. It’s nature. It isn’t pretty, but it’s reality. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/28/2008 4:50:00 AM | I can understand why you would feel a bit letdown....I would say that in the future if you are looking for a long term relationship then perhaps to hold off on the sex for a bit...or at least try and make it clear what you are looking for.....if however, you are fine with a casual sex experience then you shouldn't necessarily expect a phone call afterwards - if he does call, great, if not, it is what it is - move on. It does seem to hold true, as others have said, that if you have sex too soon, men seem to lose interest and not come back. | |
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