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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/23/2008 10:05:16 PM | | If you're 'uncomfortable' with his demands, that's your gut talking to you. Listen to it. The biggest mistakes I've ever made, bar none, were when I didn't listen to my gut when it was warning me. Drop him. Don't see him again, because he's already shown you his true colours - he won't take no for an answer and keeps pushing to get what he wants. This at the beginning of a relationship when he's supposedly on his best behaviour! RUN!!! There are Plenty Of Fish in the sea - you don't need a piranha in your life. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/23/2008 10:22:08 PM | OK, If he is interested to get into your pants, then having other people there for a small get together would alleviate that possibility(unless he was the last to leave.....).
$10 says he doesn't want to be there with other people and finds a way out of it.
My issue is, this guy is really pressuring you to get find out where you live......................AND..........he could be dangerous. I say COULD be. Psychos seem to have the ability to hold up in most normal circumstances. SO, if he comes over, has a nice time with your friends, and really IS a psycho.............
GUESS what?
He knows where you live and you are in a nutshell..........................
SCREWED
Without him getting in your pants.
Sorry, but that is WAY not cool.
I talked to/met/dated a number of different types of people and that never , ever happened to me.
Better to trust your gut than be so anxious to meet someone that you do not trust it and end up raped, or worse.
Peace ......................... trust your gut | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:47:56 PM | Your instinct is hollering at you.
Read another post here tonight where a woman had gone on three dates
and two of them were in her home. (WTH?)
He mentions the reason for going to your home is so he can "get to know
you better." That's not too cryptic to me.
Could be other reasons to get into your home that you haven't even considered.
Want to bet that if you invited him to a cocktail party with other couples present....
that he would come up with an excuse not to attend? Nevermind that......Tell him
to get lost. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:34:27 AM | | I met someone last week at his house for the first time, but I knew that he wouldn't be there by himself. I still made it be known that I wasn't comfortable with it, but went anyway. Everyone told me that it wasn't a good idea and even though nothing happened I won't be doing that again in the near future with anyone. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:56:32 AM | have him meet some of your friends..both male & female..in a public place..if they all approve of him..and get good vibes..u can invite him over, but to be on the safe side, i would have a g/f in the house as well.A g/f that knows self-defense of that out-weighs him..capish?/
I agree with the others..he is horney..and looking to get laid.Make sure you google him, and run all his records..(gonna cost you like $39)..but i would double-check that architect thingy..sounds like an episode from seinfeld.LOL.. heck, i'm a marine biologist!!! | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:26:58 AM | Interesting idea, about asking for his address. I have agreed to possibly drive by his house (he's told me the street he lives on and seems anxious for me to at least locate him), but I haven't actually asked for his address yet, though he's suggested/teased several times about my coming over if I'm going to drive by the street or locate him. I may consider your suggestion about doing that and see what he says (though of course I won't actually go into his house if I do locate it.. I think he's usually alone there during the day, so going there alone with him is a definite no-no!)
L | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:34:49 AM |
I hear you about listening to my gut, which is what I've been trying to do, even though I do like him a lot. It's a real shame, but as you say there are other men out there.. men who, I'm sure, won't be as pushy and will respect my boundaries much better than this guy has. He mentioned yesterday again about his coming over to my house. I resistsed again and he said wouldn't ask again. Later, he sent me a message saying he wasn't sure I was ready for the kind of relationship he wanted. It DOES sound a little like he wants an intimate encounter/sex, so soon, even though he's denied this several times.
But bottom line, I'm not letting him into my house for months to come- if ever (or going into HIS house for months to come). | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:35:18 AM | Hi OP,to be honest,the only thing that matters here is your feelings and if you are uncomfortable about him coming to your house he has to understand that,you are not being unreasonable.his intentions may or may not be genuine but if you are not sure you have to be cautious and if he has any feelings he will understand this.
He is not being fair by pressing this matter all the time but you can only explain how you feel and that should be enough,if he is not happy with this then he is the one with the problem but i do hope it works out,best wishes.
Lustre | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:42:58 AM | Alright. Thanks for your post, katy..it was appreciated. I definitely won't be letting him come over here (certainly not for months to come, anyway) and won't be going to his place any time soon, either.
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:50:14 AM |
lol, ok, understood about checking him out--and I'm thinking of doing that today. I did look up the part about him being an architect and that does seem to check out..in fact I know his first AND last name, looked his company up , and he/his company does have a website. They're based in Sumter. So that part does look like it's for real. But yes, I think checking him out may be a good idea, just in case. My feeling is that he wouldn't do me any harm even if he knew where I lived , even though he is pushy. But just the same, I'm being very cautious with him now, and certainly won't let him come over for many months to come (if ever).
L | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:52:50 AM | The fact that he has total disregard for your feelings on the matter says it all.
Why would any decent man or woman continue to persist in pushing an issue, after it has been explained to them that the other person is uncomfortable with it at this time?
Oh, wait - silly me - decent people don't.
On that whole 'what if he is cash-strapped' issue: walks, hikes and picnics are free...
HnH  | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:28:57 AM | Dear OP - if he only has 30 min to see you - why all of a sudden would he have more time if you went to his place or he went to your place - I'm no math major, but the numbers do not add up. Been there in the respect of "normal" date stuff - there is nothing wrong with wanting to go out to eat lunch/dinner/breakfast - whatever and spend some actual time together after the initial meet or so. To expect to give you 30 mins - and is busy - then wishes to go back to your place or his - sounds like he just wants to get to know you in a different sense  Tell him exactly that - you'd like to spend some more time together before going to his or your place - in this day and age it does not hurt to be cautious - 2 30-min meets is hardly grounds to saying you know each other so well that he should go to your place or you to his place. If he is such a nice guy he should understand - and realize your concerns! He is not being a gentleman. | |
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Pers14
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Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 68 | |
| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:35:35 AM | Hi OP - hope you're doing well and haven't invited that guy over and now you're a skin dress or a simmering meatball stew. ;) lol, jk!
I just wanted to comment on something I saw a couple of times from some of the female responders to this thread. They mentioned that when in a similar situation to your's, and they told the man in question they were not interested or ready or felt safe having the guy to their house, the man accused them of 'playing games'. I'm starting to think this is a common tactic for guys out on the prowl for God knows what. Throw the 'you're playing games' card into the pile and many women will start to second guess themselves, maybe start feeling "Yeah, I should trust him. I should show him I'm not playing games." I'm starting to think that terms such as that plug right into some part of the woman's mind that makes us second guess, doubt our intuition, etc...
All that to say, I just think it's an interesting ...trend (although the word 'trend' may be too broad a word). :) Be well everyone...be safe, it's a nutty world! | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:49:32 AM | I would say find your biggest pair of boots, and swift kick. To me he sounds like the wrong head is doing his thinking for him. This to me is a situation that would concern me that he's just out for "fun"
(I'm suddenly reflecting on the fact I've invited a female friend over a number of times, and always was given a legit excuse, because I honestly enjoy cooking for others, but now I'm thinking I probably came across like I had "other intentions"... I guess I'll try my luck at talking to her about it)
But yeah, in this situation I'd not take my chances... which I hope my friend doesn't read this or I might have a long conversation, or lack there of to deal with.
(man all these players suck, makes a guy have to about triple guess everything he says) | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:20:40 PM |
You think it would be acceptable for me to let him come to my house (or me go to his) after only a 3rd date??
Please don't even ask questions like this. It's YOUR opinion that matters. If it's not acceptable to you, then it is not OK. You don't need the approval or disapproval of anybody else on this planet because you are entitled to set (or not) your own boundaries. Why do you "like" this person so much? It seems like he is being inconsiderate, as well as manipulative with the comment about you not being ready for the type of relationship he wants. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:33:11 PM | He claims it would help us get to know each other better.
Advise him a motel works just as good...LOL
Seriously, take it at your own speed and simply always let someone know who you're with complete with name, address, e-mail names, phone number, license plate # if you have it. 99.999 % of the time you'll be just fine.
As a male unless I'm sure I want to see a woman more then just a few times never would I take her to my home. Not for personal security reasons but for reasons that if I'm entertaining unexpected company can place a damper on a sexsational evening for sure. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:51:48 PM | It DOES sound a little like he wants an intimate encounter/sex, so soon, even though he's denied this several times.
ummmm....trust me on this, HE IS LYING!! just about every man on this site who i met in person said he wanted "long term" on his profile but after meeting, it's quite obvious they only want a FWB type relationship. what kind of man doesn't want sex right away??? not many that i've met. if it was offered to them on the first date, do you really think many would say no? LOL | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:53:13 PM |
Got a basement he can bury you in when he's done with you?
Point taken and there was no need to be snide, webchick. I was just asking for input, like anyone else who posted questions on this board.
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