| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 10/9/2008 6:42:06 AM | A male friend of mine told me that with MOST men if they could would cut out the dating and dinner dates and get straight down to business...seems this man has his sights set on you... do what you think is right, go with your gut instincts, if he respects you he will understand and be only too happy to take you out on dates and get to know you before you take things to the next level.
Good Luck x | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 10/9/2008 6:54:41 PM |
MSG: 99: redhair wrote:After two 30 minute meetings, you know that you really like him? That's not long enough to know anything about any body. If you'd really like to see more of him, why don't you stop by where he works and check him out on his turf? I would rather someone poped in at my home than at my place of employment. Checking him out at his work could cause problems with his job. Besides unless he invited you thats just not right. If a man showed up and a womans work he would be considered a stalker and possibly arrested. I guess there's two sets of rules for depending on gender. There's been times when I met someone I knew right away I liked them. Then other times I simply got a bad vibe. I think sometimes you know right away. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 10/12/2008 1:45:26 AM | I think this man is not wanting all the proper dating and courting things.. He expects you to like him and not need all the going out stuff that woo you to liking him more.
He is interested in you, but is not showing how much, because he just wants home visits.. I personally would want to be wooed.
I think when you really are interested in someone you would want to go out and spend time in new environments together, as time gos on you invite each other to houses for dinner maybe etc. He likes you but maybe he is too lazy to put the effort in to woo you properly. He might have a girlfriend all ready or even a wife.. so be careful and stick to what your gut feeling is saying... | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:16:51 AM | i have never met a guy yet that hasnt tried to have sex with me on a first date...i would love to meet a guy just once who never tried it on with me, you have met him twice and he still hasnt tried it on with you...
so my thoughts on this is that he does have some respect for you and even if he did come round and try it on its not like its your first or second date so i think he deserves some respect from you too...
i'm not saying invite him round to your house if you dont want to...but i suggest you ask him to take you on a day out somewhere then decide at the end of it what you want to do..
talk to him, tell him how you feel, tell him your not sure...leave the ball in his corner xx | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:25:19 AM | He seems to understand this, but is still pressuring me.
well WTF!!! he wants to chop you up and take you home in chow mein boxes to put in his freezer
goddammit this is *so* friggin inappropriate i can't believe it. how dare he "pressure" you? i would be so pissed that i would never speak to him again. effing s.o.b. . it pisses me off just thinking about this.
dump him. he's a weirdo at best and dangerous at worst. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:05:54 AM | Run, change your phone number.
No one should be pressured to do anything they do not want to do. Your girl friends are correct - I think he wants to be able to corner you alone and get what he wants - sex. I think it is way too soon to let him in or visa versa. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:31:35 AM | msg1... That is scary pressuring you by inviting his self to come to your house and you only know him just 3 weeks...
People on dating sites have different intentions not all looking for some one to love but also looking for someone to victimize.. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:55:44 AM | Meeting some guy for 30 minutes is not a date.
I'd be asking him why he only has 30 minutes to spend with you. He's an architect not a doctor, lol.
I'm more worried about why he has so little time for you. Either he's married, has a live in g/f or he's just a player.
Follow your woman's intuition. Something is very fishy with him.
He assures you that you would be very safe with him? What a load of crap!!! | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:03:36 AM |
I'm very cautious about letting anyone I meet on these sites come to visit--and certainly not this soon! He seems to understand this, but is still pressuring me. I've asked him several times why he's so anxious to come to my house or for me to vist him. He claims it would help us get to know eachother better. I said we could do the very same thing going out on 'normal' dates (lunch/dinner) like most other people do. He assures me I would be safe with him if I let him over to my house, that he would not 'put the make' on me. He is nice and really like talking to him a lot, but don't understand why he keeps pressing to come to my house.
OP, if he was "nice" and "understanding" - he wouldn't be continually pressuring you.
"nice/understanding" would be "ok, whenever you are ready and comfortable with it, let me know" - and dropping it, not pressuring you about it. I'd listen to your girl friends. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:03:37 AM | Op this happened a long time ago but for any woman that continues to have meetings such as this one....
The guy is married or in a relationship. That is what they do because they do not want to get caught cheating. He could be a scam artist setting you up to get your confidence drain you of your money... this kind of thing doesn't have to happen to only the rich. You don't have to have a lot of money.....
That is why you must go into any meeting on line with open eyes. Open eyes and open hearts but use your head and womans intution for the rest. If something does not feel right then it is not. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:22:09 AM | This was from ages ago, but this would have been what was said then, just in case anyone else was hitting the same scenario (it happens)
The word choices you use, OP? Pressuring, anxious...
These don't sound like you feel so comfortable to me. The fact he feels the need to reassure you "would be safe"? Means he understands this, and instead of accepting what you are comfortable with and backing off, he is trying to manipulate you around to his way of thinking. And "keeps pressuring".
The fact he obviously doesn't accept your comfort level, is not backing off, and is not taking your word and your comfort zone and meeting you halfway but rathering pressuring you to come around to his? And I won't even go into the fact he's too busy to have a decent amount of time for a dinner, but he is ok spending the night? Total lack of respect.
That is more than just having someone you don't know very well coming into your home (not to mention the fact if he won't take no for an answer in even coming to your house, what else is he going to pressure you on once you back down on that one?). That is someone who does not acknowledge your wishes, he only wants his own way; and he will get it.
If you are getting to know someone and only one of them is allowed their own comfort zone? (either gender), and only one of them is allowed to "call the shots", one of those people is going to be pretty uncomfortable. So in his case, you maybe are getting to know him right now without him having even come over (or not). You are getting to know he does not care about your comfort, he does not take no for an answer, and he has before gone to other people's houses very early on in meet stages (where he may have or may not have done anything with them, but if he had, is he protected or healthy, just in case he doesn't take no for an answer in the other? Not to say everyone who does that early and with a lot of people isn't healthy, but nowadays please make sure you're both careful)
I don't know. I can't tell you what to do, and I am not in any way shape or form an expert or anything, but there aer a lot of red flags for me in this one that are way outside whether said stranger wants in your home only to have sex. It speaks more for his lack of respect for your feelings and comfort zone. If you were totally comfortable and it felt natural, that would be another matter entirely (though I'd still say be little careful) :) but with no comfort , overt repeated pressure and him not taking no for an answer? Red flags, on every level.
I hope you're careful, in more ways than one.
(and I've also been stalked where someone found out my home address without even my giving it to them the year I got divorced , and it took a year and a half to get rid of them; sometimes your discomfort is a "vibe". ALWAYS listen to it, especially as a woman living alone). | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:32:08 AM | | I have to say all he's after is a booty call. If all you've had with him is a scant amount of time chatting, then that's not a good sign, imo. I wouldn't invite anyone into my home that I'm not comfortable with. In fact, I was asked by a guy if he could pick me up for a first time meeting despite the fact that he didn't want to drive over here to a lunch place that was in between. So why would that guy be willing to drive to my place to pick me up given that it was a bit farther than the area that I had suggested? That put me off a lot an threw up a red flag!!! I'm not getting in some strange guy's car. At any rate, ended up having lunch in a public place anyway and said our goodbyes afterwards. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:28:47 AM | Maybe I never responded to any of your replies, posters. If so, I'm sorry I didn't. I know it's been many months now, but in case I didn't thank all of you, thank you! And no, he doesn't work for Vandelay Industries.
By the way, it didn't work out. I felt pressured and told him so. He found someone else. I'm guessing SHE was ok with his coming to her house/her visiting him within just a week after talking on the phone. But that's ok. I've moved on. | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:40:04 AM | Simple, he wants sex. This is why I stopped having a guy over--stay the hell out if my bedroom! The thing is, I found that they don't want to come over if they think the kids are around.
If they here I'm living alone, they want to come over right away. I found that, too, when I removed my son's pic, from profile. I went from 2 faves to more than I could shake a stick at! I never even talked to all but 2-3 of them.
Removing child's pic does not mean child is gone, either. I have 2 who are a big part of my life and always will be. They are my life!
Gosh, why do they act like dogs looking for the "ones in heat"? | |
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| One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:06:14 AM | | Several years ago before my third marrige, I meet a gal on yahoo, talked on the phone and she invited me over to see her and she lived two hours away, I ended up spending the nite and slept in the guest room. We had a platonic friendship that lasted two years, and I would go out almost every weekend to help her out on her small farm, and sleep in the guest room. This guy isnt safe[my opinion] plus my deal was an exception, not the norm. | |
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