I am not setting her up. If I really wanted this relationship to fail, why would I be here? And I am definitely not insecure. I am confident that I am the best she has ever had.
In order for you to change your way of thinking, you should realize that you are assuming she is guilty before the trial is set.
Can you elaborate on this please? I think that you have gotten the impression that I do not trust her not to cheat on me, but that is not the case. I do not believe she would cheat on me. It seems like a lot of people would argue that that if I don’t think she would cheat that I should stay with her. However, there is more to a relationship than simply not cheating. Our values systems are pretty different, which is the issue that I am trying to overcome.
Have you talked to your girlfriend about your issues getting past this? She's the only one who knows for sure how her perceptions may have changed, what may have motivated her earlier behavior, etc.
We have had a few conversations about it, but I have been getting mixed signals about her feelings on the issue. I know that there were background issues that probably influenced her behavior, but the choices were hers to make.
There have been times when she made me think she had the "I'll raise some hell now and tone it down later” mentality which RavenousRoger was talking about, but other times I get the impression that she has changed. I am starting to think that her plan used to be to experiment and fool around while searching for someone with whom she could settle down. But now that she has chosen me and she knows how much it hurts for me to think of her like that, she does not consider it to have been worth it.
I think if she is understanding of your point of view and not dismissive. Or if she doesn't get defensive and angry, you may be able to work it out. It's not that I couldn't accept someone who has had a colorful past into my life, it's that usually they have a "too bad for you, take it or leave it" attitude to go with thier past, that gives me pause.
I think she was understanding to a point, though looking back on our conversations she always was a little dismissive/defensive/angry. But the medication which was prescribed by her therapist was for anxiety. Now that it is gone we have trouble discussing serious relationship issues without her having a panic attack, so we do not talk about it anymore.
Home
login 
