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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 7:11:24 PM | | I think you discovered part of the reasons: overweight and diabetic, but you must consider that it may not be the diabetes itself but the damned medicine the doctor puts you on for it. (More I think of it, I may just go kill the sunofa****!) Viagra will work, never tried Cialis yet. Miss the good ole gut wrenching days! | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 7:20:25 PM | Honcho, you are absolutely correct. A great number of medications people take these days affects the libido. Depression medication is another. I have always told a man I take medication for depression because I think at times my 'interests' decrease, and because sex IS more important to a man than most women, he needs to know.
Are you Diabetic 1 or 2? If you're 1 w/o complications, exercise and a rigid diet can usually eliminate it from your system. Then, no pills, more drive and lots of 'parking'.
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Asa76
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Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 54 | |
| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 7:44:52 PM | It is going to post like I am responding to the person directly above me although I was just trying to respond to the original poster ... anyway.
Can I point out the obvious facts first? You are 62 and I imagine the men you are dating are around the same age? Do you really think either one of you performs like you did at 20? Give the guy a break. The tone of your very first post was belittling and condescending. Sorry your guys are having issues having sex with you. Still you could have handled your thoughts with more tact. "I am doing research", really? C'mon
Check this out ...
http://www.web-books.com/eLibrary/Medicine/Reproductive/Erectile.htm
To quote the article ...
"Erection begins with sensory or mental stimulation, or both. Impulses from the brain and local nerves cause the muscles of the corpora cavernosa to relax, allowing blood to flow in and fill the spaces. The blood creates pressure in the corpora cavernosa, making the penis expand. The tunica albuginea helps trap the blood in the corpora cavernosa, thereby sustaining erection. When muscles in the penis contract to stop the inflow of blood and open outflow channels, erection is reversed."
So please understand that an erection is the result of the muscles relaxing due to visual or sensory stimulation. Relaxing being the key word here. So in general the erection will not occur if the guy is not relaxed. Easy enough. Maybe you could help him relax instead of making him feel inadequate. Put on some porn unless you have a problem with that.
What typically happens (imho about ED) is that a guy isn't into the girl anymore, or has a moment of insecurity, or is stressed out and can't get it up. The woman freaks out because, oh no, could they be less attractive then they think they are? Yes. So the guy sees this reaction and internalizes it, compounding the problem for later. So the next time he's up to bat the pressure of not having a repeat performance stresses the guy out so much that BAM, it happens again and the woman freaks out even more. So this snowball of a vicious cycle is entirely mental and the ED is basically a sign that the guy is no longer comfortable around said woman in an intimate setting. Time to slow it down and get comfortable again.
For older men arteries harden from smoking, poor diet, and lack of exercise, which makes getting, and keeping an erection harder. Try a****ring, I think that's what they are for partially. Not the triple crown though ;) lol
What do you care if the guy has to use a little blue pill? A. It solves you "dilemma" and B. Guess what most people use it for? haha I mean c'mon get real. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:05:10 PM | Okay, I hate to be so graphic, but for the younger guys to understand, let me explain how this usually comes down.
Some older guy asks you out. You really aren`t all that attracted to him but he seems nice so you give it a try. He smokes (when he said he didn`t) pours down the****ails,
has a big gut hanging over his belt, orders and consumes an 18 oz steak, loaded baked potato, with a side salad drenched in blue cheese, finishes the bread basket and asks for a refill. You are across the table eating your salad with lemon and olive oil.
He discusses with you all evening about his assetts, and how "Us girls " have to keep ourselves in shape to keep the men aroused and interested. He tells how he pleases his
woman, and what a great catch he is, and how all of the women want him. So you struggle watching him devour a rich dessert, washed down with a double shot of cognac, and topped off by his BP meds and a little blue pill.
When he gets you to the car he gets all amorous, paws you all over, unzips his fly, pulls out his flaccid member ( which he is so proud of ) and starts feverishly trying to show you his pride and joy. You are repulsed to say the least and try and escape. As you run for it, he tells you how you are unattractive and you don`t turn him on anyways and he went out with a much younger thinner and better looking girl last week. This is what happens, right girls? Get it now? These guys are jerks and trying to make us feel bad because they can`t handle the fact that they are a big nasty mess. This is the kind of thing that really tick us off and that is why the OP said something. I doubt if any decent man would support this behavior. And this is how some of them act. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:20:23 PM | | It could be worse. I don't suffer from the dreaded E.D., but my ex put a curse on me with a bit of poignant philosophy as we lay in each other's arms one night. She said it was impossible to make love to someone you weren't in love with. Being male, I put it out of mind as rubbish. You see, like most men, I confused sex with love making. The two are totally different animals. It is possible to have sex with someone you don't love; true, but without that spiritual connection love brings to a relationship, making love is impossible. Sex has become a rather hollow and meaningless act for me now. Unless I really connect with a woman, I don't even bother trying to be intimate. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:31:30 PM | "I've tried to be very understand and patient but having to 'time' intercourse really pulls the plug on any kind of intimacy and spontenaity (sp?)."
You need patience! Let the mood start slowly and build. He can pop a pill without you even knowing. Thank God for those pills. | |
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Asa76
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Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 58 | |
| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:01:00 PM | "He smokes (when he said he didn`t) pours down the****ails, has a big gut hanging over his belt, orders and consumes an 18 oz steak, loaded baked potato, with a side salad drenched in blue cheese, finishes the bread basket and asks for a refill." Good lord are you dating Jabba the Hut? haha Made me hungry. Haven't gone all out like that in a minute! Was it a Porterhouse? Please say it was a Porterhouse.
"You are across the table eating your salad with lemon and olive oil." HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAH omg dude I laughed so hard when I read this LOLOLOL **ahhhh** funny stuff. Pull yourself down from that cross! lol Sounds like in general terms of cuisine you found a perfect match! haha
"For younger guys to understand it" - I understand it fine I think it's you who sadly is in the dark about the situation. Read my previous post and maybe you'll find some clarification.
If you have actually gone on the date you described above even once I would be surprised. If you have been on that same date more than once then perhaps you should choose a new strategy or have a different set of requirements for the guys you are looking for, other than just having a "good" job and money. The guy you are describing sounds like a "wingtipped" professional who is used to ordering whatever he wants at some 2hr business lunch.
Finally has a guy really just whipped out his member after getting you to the car and slung it around? I mean really? If so then that's just pathetically hilarious!! What techniques! Silky smooth! ;) | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:10:30 AM | This is a problem I have come across as well . I was with 2 different men where this was a problem . They both talked about how sexual they was ,and how much they just loved sex , but when the time came ,was unable to perform . These were men who ranged in age from 38-46 ,so it is not just with men over 55 . I have been with men between the ages of 50-57 and they still was able to do the deed , most times more than once in a night .
Now I was with one man who explained that while it takes him a really long time to get hard ,due to an injury , but once he gets hard ,he stays that way . I have to say that was the most sexually fulfilling erotic relationship I ever had .OMG !
Now I have learned how to screen for it in the chat process . I know this is going to sound harsh ,but if it comes out in the chat process ,then I go no further . I make it a point to find this out before things go too far ,because I don't want to intentionally hurt someone ,because of it . It is one thing to be with someone for awhile, and then have ED happen, but a whole other ball game to start a relationship out knowing it will likely be an oral only relationship . I just can't go there . | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:24:02 AM | | I am 54 weight 220 and am 5'11 in height. Not obese by any sense of the word. I take blood pressure medicine and vitorin for cholesterol. I take longer readying my equiptment to sexually indulge. And when I am ready it is met with a semi to nearly non existent friction factor. Rather then offend, or be offended, I divert my gift for gab to other uses. I am not sure how this is take by my partner, but when i hear words that a sailor won't use I think it's well spent energy. Oral stimulation is more pinpointed for the lady and when she reaches her acme, I also feel gratified. Phew, time for a cigarette. And LDYNBLK congrates on your special day. Another year to make your vintage even refined. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:13:26 AM | Geez Louise!!!!!!
Most of the guys out there won`t even take a second look at you unless you look like a fricking movie star, so we as women if we even have 10 lbs over perfect weight we are supposed to hang it up and not leave our homes. But the guys go ahead, let themselves go however, don`t even function, and we are supposed to be all understanding about it. Kind of double standards I would say. I see it all of the time, so don`t tell me any different. This is the way it is. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:26:58 AM | Two points I would like to insert into this thread:
1- A recent Swedish study points out that frequent masturbation by men in their 40's and 50's tends to lessen the possibility of ED when they are in their 60's. This was a cohort study of 2200 men. Seems if men stop self stimulating they lose the ability to achive and maintain an erection. Appears that sex does begin in the mind of the beholder. A person has to be sexually engaged with themselves first before they can be ready for a partner.
2- I lived through two ltr where sex was not center stage. I realized that I needed that level of physical intimacy. Without it something goes domant in me and life is just not as vivid and satisfying. I do not think I could survive another of these 'shadow" relationships. I think this is something I will need to get clear with any possible long term partner. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:42:13 AM | Actually, this is a very important topic that needs to be addressed.
There are many reasons for ED, besides diabetes, age, alcohol and overweightness. I have had ED for 4 years since I survived cancer surgery-prostectomy. The blue pills, urethelial suppositories, creams, pumps etc do not work for a lot of men---even those that stay in good shape, like myself. Sometimes an injection is the only recourse--which is not very pleasant nor romantic. There, of course, is always an implant which has its own problems.
Besides cancer there is PBH, which is an enlarged prostate(no cancer) that places pressure on the vessels so that no blood engorgement occurs, and the penis then remains flaccid (soft). Of course there's the psychosocial aspect to which affects intimancy.
For Lady in Black, sorry you had 6 men in a row with this problem,,,,,but there's actually more men with prostate problems and ED than what we see in breast cancer....its just men don't talk about it.
Hopefully this helps somewhat. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 7:55:15 PM |
not one of them had the b*lls to tell me up front. However, while spending time getting to know them, thru IMs and Messenger they made it quite clear sex was very important to them and it would make a huge difference in whether WE would be compatible or not. How could these men make such statements and base a relationship on performace when they, themselves, had severe ED? I wanted to know if other women have been faced with these same circumstances and how did they handle it?
I have to admit, that having NEVER dated a woman, I don't know if women are any more up front with men, when it comes to sex either. It is a very touchy subject for either sex, unless of course you are like me, and can talk about anything under the sun, and not have it phase you.
I have had a few men admit to having sexual dysfunction, and I know that it was because I am extremely easy to talk to. However I also know that men probably have a MUCH harder time telling someone that their wiener no longer salutes like it used to, simply because it gives the sense of NOT being man enough.
Remember, people lie about all sorts of things, this isn't much different than threads that ask WHY do people put pics up, of themself 5+ years ago, and don't look anything like that now?
I don't know if it is because people flat out lie, OR are in some sort of denial about themself. No matter what, you will meet people that are honest to a fault (I am raising my hand) or people who would like to think that they will bedazzle you so much, that you won't notice things that are less than perfect.
In your conversation I am sure they must have gotten the impression that YOU were very much into sex, and probably figured that they wouldn't be given a chance if they stated their were issues down South. This can also be compounded by the NERVOUS factor that can take the plump out these poor guys member, and meds or not, they just are too nervous to get Willey to make a proper stand.
Sorry about the bashers... It comes with the territory, especially when it hits a very sensitive nerve....
As I stated before some people are plain lazy, and would rather booze it up, eat it up, or what ever, and then hope for the best, when it comes to sex.
I would say try not to take their bad behavior to personal, because humans can suffer from having an ego that makes it hard for them to be honest with themself; which in turn makes it hard for them to be honest with other... | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:48:15 PM | There are men who are healthy, not on meds and do not have problems. My bf is a long distance runner, does not eat red meat, and takes very good care of himself. He is 57 and has the libido of a teenager. If I were not on hormones, I would be the one with problems.
I was just talking to a friend yesterday that is not on hormones and sex is so painful it's nearly impossible. It's a shame any of us have to deal with sexual problems as we get older. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:14:22 PM | | I got diagnosed with diabetes II some years back. Before that I'd been gaining weight pretty rapidly and noticed that my libido was way off. I wasn't gaga over over sex with the girl I was seeing like I usually was and my erections were substandard. In fact, when I did get it up, I had trouble keeping it up long enough to get the condom on. Actually lost that girlfriend over it. It was my urologist who discovered that my testosterone was low partly due to being overweight and partly due to the meds I was taking for diabetes. He gave me a cream which raises the T levels in men. It even made me lose alot of weight and gave me more energy. Doc also gave me Levitra which works very well the few times I've used it. The cream actually gave me back most of my desire, but I keep the levitra in the cabinet for emergencies. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:38:38 PM | | Well said! I had a girl giving me all sorts of hell over my performance I didn't say anything but she was like the grand canyon. As for us guys I'm young so despite my size everything is good so far but I am taking action to preven these issues later (health!!!) I know alot of perfectly healthy guys that take those little pills to just for the hell of it and also some guys that would seem helthy that need them. ANyway goes both ways | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:54:43 PM | Viagra,Cialis,Levitra have been around for 10 yrs. They can give side affects,
blurred vision,strokes,heart attacks. Horny Goat Weed has been around for
centuries in Asia without the side affects,and it`s cheaper. Still a good idea to
check with your Dr. about a new medication. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:11:44 PM | Testosterone is a good thing. I found out that a little dab of cream applied to the clitoris area makes much more intense orgasms . I never knew women produce this hormone as well and when it declines with age, it makes it harder for a woman to achieve an orgasm.
I am all for hormone replacement therapy. | |
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| How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:58:50 PM | Read the Sexy Years by Suzanne Sommers. Great information about menopause/
andopause for men. Have your hormone levels checked with blood,urine,saliva
tests for thyroid,testosterone,estrogen levels. If things are low check out
bio identical hormone therapy. | |
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