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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 4:11:40 AM | well putting down your man on pof?
have you tried oral sex on him? you might get a big surprise.
lots of guys have this problem of getting it up and keeping it there.
a lot of guys are acorns that grow into trees if nurtured right.
and then the biggie, mabe you just don't turn him on!!!!! | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:25:47 AM | wollybully, OF COURSE that I already tried oral sex. It's my expertise. The hand I'm not so good with because I don't do it hard enough. I'm afraid of doing it too hard to cause pain or breaking the thing. :)
When we were together last weekend he said he couldn't feel my mouth. I was in shock! I have always been complimented on that particular skill and specifically asked for it from my previous boyfriends after I had done it the first time.
I gave him an entire body kiss from head to toe and from the front of the body to the top, I sucked his fingers, I did everything I could think of. Nothing -- and I mean NOTHING worked. The thing got hard enough to penetrate, but it goes soft pretty much right away, even with the Viagra. It hurt like crap for him to try to stick it back in when it wasn't hard enough. He apologized.
Before we had sex we had slept together (just sleeping, as in snuggling). I could obviously tell that there wasn't much going on down there. He told me that his "member" was small and that he also had difficulty maintaining an erection; that he was able to get sexually excited and to get an erection, but it didn't maintain.
When he hugs me and we're facing each other you can feel that the winkie enlarges, and when we make out and when we're kissing, etc., however, it doesn't stay up long.
I have asked him what he'd like and that we can explore together some things he might like (and I clarified as long as we're talking one-on-one and nothing that is painful). He said that he really likes body massages with oil.
I'm wondering if stimulating the prostate would work, but he's homophobic [which is another thing that I'm concerned about here, wondering if the inability to orgasm with me (a woman) is due to being a homosexual. Food for thought on that one]. Therefore, I don't think he'd feel comfortable with that.
He probably already thinks I'm a bit kinky since I like to play role games and also talk it out during sex. I also asked him about lightly tying him up in bed and/or covering his eyes with a silk scarf. I've never done that before and I thought it'd be something new and fun to try. I also know that if you shut off one sense, such as the eyes, the sensation in the other senses become magnified, so I thought it might help with his sense of touch so that he would feel more on the body.
He also doesn't tickle. His nipples don't have sensation. He doesn't have much feeling on his skin, as in erotic zones. He said he only has one - the winkie; however, the winkie doesn't work.
I don't know what to do with this guy.
And yes, wollybully, I already considered that he might not be attracted to me. I have no insecurities about my attractiveness or desirability to men, so I have no problem at all in voicing my concern that this particular man might not be all that into me. However, his actions seem to indicate that he is. Although, as I said, it's still at the back of my mind. On the other hand, though, it seems pretty obvious that he has had this problem for a while and that it's not me.
He wants to touch all the time, take showers together, etc. In other words, when we're together he seeks physical togetherness rather than distance. If I wasn't into someone, and I was with them only to fill up time because I didn't want to be alone (using the person) I wouldn't want them so physically near all the time. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:27:31 AM | Correction:
"I gave him an entire body kiss from head to toe and from the front of the body to the top" should read:
"I gave him an entire body kiss from head to toe and from the front of the body to the back."
Bottom line: ALL of him got kissed (and other verbs in there). | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:36:53 AM | it amazes me at the number of people who are totally driven by the fitness of the genitalia......are you 2 in love?......if not that might be part of his problem......men want emotions too, not just sex. try looking at his EMOTIONAL SIDE. a lot of impotence is caused by the guy simply NOT BEING INTO THE GIRL!.....may he`s just not that attracted to you in the first place. maybe he`s not FEELING anything for you in the first place. also, high b.p. meds will kill erections..........get ur mind off his****and onto his EMOTIONAL STATE!.......and i`m sure it`ll help him A LOT seeing that you told everyone here about it being so small.......if he reads this.......you won`t need to be concerned with him 4 long. ....... | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:42:51 AM | I am sure his blood pressure medcation is affecting him. I believe the manufacturer of Viagra tells you to AVOID its usage if you are taking blood pressure medication. Masturbation? Says he can maintain an erection just not by you or whatever you are doing. He probably knows how disappointed you are and it is affecting him ALOT.
At far as his little weinie? Well if its too small then maybe he needs to find someone without man hands. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:35:47 AM |
is it NORMAL for a man who lives alone to watch porn 5 days a week? How about masturbating to the porn?
Is this the reason why he can't have intercourse with a real live woman? He doesn't orgasm and he doesn't ejaculate. It's really strange!
Well, I wouldn't exactly call it excessive or abnormal. It's your call on whether or not you have a problem with it.
Also, masturbating 5 or more times a week should not cause impotence. It sounds like he can't maintain an erection to masturbate, so that wouldn't even make sense. His health problems seem like the likely culprit. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:46:11 AM | Oh, for crying out loud, amaranthus, do you think I'd be stupid enough to write about some man that I met here. First of all, I have never met anyone here. I'm not even active on this thing except for this forum.
HE is the one who raised the issue of his concern that he has a small penis. I said it was actually average size, that it had a beautiful shape, the head was very prettily shaped, etc, etc., etc.
I AM focused on the emotional side. We always look into each other's eyes when we kiss, we talk about things we like and enjoy (aside from being physically close). We hold hands -- he reaches out for me. He always tells me how much he likes me...he sighs very deeply and gives me big hugs. I don't have an issue with that side, it's the sex side that's worrying me. Bottom line: I'm afraid that he's looking for the magic bullet woman who can keep him hard and get him to orgasm, meaning that he'll be going from woman to woman trying to find that, which means that he won't be monogamous with me. That's really what's going on in my mind. Even if he wasn't impotent I'd still be worried that the guy would be looking for a new high with different women. Let's face it, today's society has completely los MORALITY. What used to be unacceptable in previous decades is AOK now, which of course, just because society may have gone insane, doesn't mean that doing those things are OK. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:01:23 AM | Ralleac, I think that what BeatlesYeahYeahYeah said is absolutely correct. He probably feels in a constant state of wanting to scratch an itch and can't do it because he doesn't orgasm. Unless he lied to me and he DOES orgasm masturbating watching porn, which is what I really think is going on here. Now, THAT freaks me out! Let's face reality here: a man who can get off doing it to himself watching porn but can't do it with a beautiful, sexy woman who has sexual skills is really weird! We all know he has health issues, but he might also have a twisted sexuality, thinks sex is dirty (even though he seems to think about it quite a bit), or doesn't really like women.
The possibilities of what could be going on with this man are endless and I could drive myself crazy thinking about it all and trying to figure it out. All I want is to have this man be MONOGAMOUS and have a close, warm, caring, mutually-supportive and loving relationship. That's it! Nothing more and nothing less. I don't care whether he has money or not (he doesn't; he's just OK), what kind of car he drives (nothing fancy), whether he has a beautiful house or not (it's nice, but nothing expensive and it's in a regular working-class neighborhood), what education the guy has (he didn't go to college, but is an intelligent person, although not into reading or academics). I don't even care if he's impotent or not, as long as he has other skills and as long as he's ONLY with me and as long as he doesn't have a twisted sexuality. I'd say I'm VERY, VERY nice and flexible! | |
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Pers14
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Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 35 | |
| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:18:54 AM | Um...he sounds like a whole pack of problems...
I dated a guy younger than me (I was 30 and he was 22 - *cougar growl*), and he could never get it up, and if he did, he couldn't keep it up. I found out later that he was a chronic masturbator and did it with a death grip. He was addicted to a very 'special' kind of porn - a type of porn / sex I could never emulate (I'm not squeemish, it's a sort of fetish I couldn't get into with him, and it would be impossible to do really). He conned his doctor into giving him a script for viagra...so now he couldn't cum...it would just stay there hard like a flagpole for hours. He was shocked in amazed to hear that I didn't want to be piledriven for hours on end. (I'd get all raw and red and sometimes would bleed a little, and he still thought that women dreamed of a man who would be at it for endless hours)
Sex is important, and when sex becomes a frustrating chore, it's time to say bye. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 11:58:18 AM | | I'm in my 50's and have myriad health issues, I too can not sustain an erection even with the blue pill, but I can ejaculate ll night long, the little guy just doesn' rise to the occasion. Fortuneately for me i have a very understanding person in my life and we are pursuing avenues to raise the dead.LOL | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 12:01:46 PM | I just had to post a reply to this one because Ive experience this with a man I was dating and have VERY SUCCESSFUL RESULTS!! The first time we "started" to have sex it just didnt work. We had a great time as always the whole evening. laughing our butts off and flirting like crazy. When we eventually started messing around I noticed that he didn't want to kiss that much so I jokingly said "not a big fan of kissing?" his answer was "actually yes. I love to kiss but because of my high blood pressure I get out of breath very easily" and he was right I did notice he was kinda out of breath (Note: he is in good shape and only 32 years old.) That didn't bother me at all so we just worked with it. Then we got to him not being able to have an errection. You could tell he was embarrassed! He definatly was attracted to me and wanted to have sex. No question!! I felt horrable for him so I told him it was okay those things happen and dont worry about it so I gave him a massage to relax him and help him fall asleep.
The next time we did same as the last time and had a wonderful evening laughing and flirting again. Then the moment of truth. I didn't kiss him near as much because I didn't want to get the thoughts of his medical problem going through his head again. I think this was the key to it all! I assume that if I were a man in that position it would be a snowball effect starting with worrying if I could get one, then the stress of worrying, then the blood pressure going up..... So this time it was all about keeping his mind off of it. I didnt give him time to think about anything other than "WOW!" lol! and then wahlah!! he was ready to go. He started to loose it at one point but then as soon as that happened I took controle again to keep him relaxed. It took alot of work on my part but all ended good!! But the worse part is after we got done he was fully aware that I just worked my butt off and he said in a honestly sad voice "does that finally answer your question why im still single" OMG! I wanted to cry for him. That has to be horrible for a man to deal with!!! So I had a good come back to ease his worries and said "What are you talking about? Im excited because this just means we have to try to have sex as much as possible to cure you!!" Then I topped it off with "just call me Dr. Love!"
So now we are comfortable with the problem. Since I told him I was going to cure him. its kinda funny because Ive turned it into a joke about ME being "good" enough to cure him! I do funny things like the other day I went and got his mags and dvds and taped pics of my face on all the womens bodies! Put them in a book bag, taped a silly logo I made up (Dr. Love School of Sex) on the front Put it back in his drawer, then typed up this silly little letter letting him know he has been accepted to my school. I told him they are now text books and educational videos and he should call at any time for an oral exam. lol! Let him know the schools grading policy and how at the Dr. Love School of Sex we grade mostly on willingness to learn and if you fail an exam you will be required to retake the exam at your convenience until you have passed.
So my point to all of this is..... blood pressure.... relaxation..... humor (in a kind way).... Its really not that difficult to figure out if you think about it. Have fun and destress the poor guy!!!!  | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 12:24:28 PM |
sauberf1 and all who think pornography and masturbating to pornography is AOK, dandy-O behavior: why would someone do that when all they have to do is go over to their girlfriend's place or wait two frigging days to see her?
People have all kinds of different sexual interests. Some people like whips and chains. Others have a thing for feet. Some get horny from latex. Etc. It dosen't matter why, because there really is no other answer other than that's just way things are. I personally don't like whips or chains or feet or latex, but hey if others are into it, go crazy. I couldn't care less. Why should I care what other people's sexual interests are? You should be concentrating on finding a like-minded person, rather than wasting your time and energy trying to change someone to your way of thinking. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 5:08:37 PM |
The Viagra does not seem to work, as he can't sustain an erection.
....
My question: is it NORMAL for a man who lives alone to watch porn 5 days a week? How about masturbating to the porn?
Is this the reason why he can't have intercourse with a real live woman? He doesn't orgasm and he doesn't ejaculate. It's really strange!
==========================
Couple of things:
Viagra, Levitra and Cialis all have slightly different mechanisms. One of the others may work better than Viagra.
If he's buying from an online "discount" pharmacy lord knows what he's really getting.
BUT...
If he weren't achieving orgasm while masturbating, why do it? The itch-that-can't-be-scratched comment is correct. I suspect you're correct and he's being "kind" when he tells you he doesn't orgasm when he masturbates to porn. As to the deeper question of why... dime-store psychology would suggest a bunch of possibilities -- we're a nation of instant-gratifiers after all -- but if he's not going to admit it to you then you have no basis for investigating further and in fact he'd probably take any attempts to do so as lack of trust. (Which of course, it is. :))
Suggest he try the alternative meds... and good luck working it out. The older we all get the more the old joke "a hard man is good to find" becomes truth. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 5:46:11 PM | you know i had this girlfriend that was hot and i wanted to really i mean really give her the loving of her life, but, hello houston we have a problem. then someone that was not as beautiful and certainly not as sexy and for some reason it was like i was 16 again.
i met a very unattractive woman one day while i was working and just looking at her and bingo. then a very attractive woman like yourself came in and i really thought she was hot but no reaction down there.
this is my theory for what it is worth.
men sometimes have a problem like this because they have a fear of the woman for some reason. it could be he doesn't feel worthy of such a doll or he is just so nervous and shaken because this woman is actually attracted to him. a lot of it is physological and sometimes its medical ,and, he could be choking the chicken too much with porn on the internet.
unless you are in love with the man go out and get you some somewhere else. nothing worse than sexual frustration in a woman or a man.
also if he doesn't have feeling in the area's you mentioned he is probably not a good prospect for anything other than porn and choking the chicken. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:09:40 PM | | I agree with you!! Just because you don't like porn doesn't mean you have a hangup, I dated a guy who (I say) was adddicted to porn, he kept it hid in a spare bedroom and it was all Anal sex and he was so secretive, I would come home and find the tapes still in the vcr or dvd player, he had pictures on his computer and laptop of women's legs in stockings and high heels.I found out he was taking viagra without my knowledge too. I found all his behavior so dishonest, why did he hide it? When I confronted him on it, he said I wasn't enough for him and so that was the end of him. There didn't seem to be a problem with our sex life, but he seemed to need to be sneaky and hide things, it just turned me off completely. Why would he need to jerk off to a video when he had a live woman waiting in the bedroom??Kind of sick if you ask me and very demeaning. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:35:59 PM | its as normal for a man to enjoy porn as it is as normal for us women to not understand it, its part of life thanks to the internet, as far as him being on high blood pressure meds, not many doctors will give both at the same time due to the fact the viagra can sometimes cause a sudden drop in the blood pressure and if your on meds at this time it can cause a major drop and lot of things can happen when these are combined.
Just because a man cant get off dont mean he dont enjoy what hes doing, as well as the feel of your hands touching him regaurdless of the out come, its just like sharing a hug with someone, dont that feel good even if theres no sexual out come expected from it, have a open mind and put your self into his place , would you think it was nice even though it wasnt going to bring you the most ultimate experience in the bedroom or are you so one sided its all about you. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:47:46 PM | I almost forgot what you wrote at the beginning: "Here's what Dr. Phil believes". You said he believes it. He states his opinions as facts.
Among other things he says, "It's also somebody's daughter..." Come on Phil, these are adults. But why no comment "It's also somebody's son..."? That somehow doesn't conjure up the same emotions even though there are daughters and sons involved in making porn.
"...she's being exploited..."? Aren't most of the actors choosing of their own volition to perform in xxx videos? Is it perhaps because they like making a lot of money quickly?
I've often wondered about people that criticize others for earning their living with some form of sex: "They are selling their bodies." Actually every single person that earns money is selling her/his body and/or mind. It's just that our society has attached a stigma to selling your body and/or mind sexually.
"Would you do it with your partner standing right there?" Some do and some find it exciting to watch their partner masturbating while watching or looking at porn. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 7:12:39 PM | velvetvenus:
Why not masturbate IMAGINING your girlfriend in all sorts of interesting positions with you?
Although there are many monogamous people around us, not everyone is. There are ladies and men that enjoy having sex with different people. And there are people that are deeply in love with their partners that enjoy sex with other people together as a couple. You are expecting your partner to have a monogamous fantasy and obviously that is not his mindset. It seems quite obvious to me that the two of you have conflicting attitudes, opinions and values. And you clearly believe you are right and he is wrong. Instead of fighting him and trying to change him, why not look for a man that thinks the same as you? Both of you will be much happier.
I don't have an issue with the masturbating, as long as it's kept within normal amounts
Who is going to define what "normal amounts" of masturbation are? Who has the RIGHT to determine that issue? You do not own him. Find a partner with the same views and you'll be happy. Stay with him and you won't be. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 7:58:02 PM | velvetvenus :
All I want is to have this man be MONOGAMOUS...and as long as he's ONLY with me
He is obviously not monogamous in his mind. Watching porn, he is certainly thinking about being sexually involved with the actors. Being so much against his watching porn, you clearly expect your partner to be faithful to only you in his thoughts and fantasies as well.
Once again I believe you two are not compatible. You expect him to be like you and he isn't. I do not believe you will change him. You will only make both of you unhappy by remaining with him. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:33:13 PM | OP, you've admitted that you don't love this guy and that you require a "walking on air" feeling. Porn or not, addiction or not, the issue here is really something else -- "Why the heck are you stringing this guy along?" He trusts you enough to state that you're bf/gf and you don't even love him?
Now for all the porn defenders out there, I used to try to justify my behavior like that, too. I used to say the same kinds of things -- it hurts no-one, it doesn't change how I see women, it doesn't cause me any problems, it's not cheating -- but each and every one of those things are lies to the core. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:47:50 PM | | Wow, the things people talk about with total strangers...........okay, anyway, here is my input, for what it's worth. I think this guy probably has a hang up about his size that makes it hard (no pun intended) to get an erection with an actual woman. He may have been put down in the locker room or humiliated by women in the past. He may have some intimacy/performance issues as a result of this. Or he may just have some intimacy issues period. I think counseling might help with this. If you went to a sex counselor together, they would probably instruct you to be very sensual without any expectations of anything happening. Do not focus on the goal. Being goal-oriented during sex puts a lot of pressure on him to perform. This is probably the best you can do as a couple, and if it doesn't work, he may need to seek individual counseling. | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/27/2008 7:43:32 PM | Certainly there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It's healthy, necessary, and appropriate for both sexes to engage in, even when married or in a relationship, however it can become inappropriate as men age and actually need less sex than when they were younger. At that point, it can detract from a desire for true intimacy with a partner, as intimacy is replaced by self masturbation. When combined with pornography, it's not only threatening to one's partner, but it can cause deep resentment and a host of other negative emotions.
Masturbation and self pleasure is a healthy expression of anyone's sexuality, but spending more time watching pornography and less time with your mate can leave you tuned out and turned off, says Kerner. As men reach their 30s and 40s, the refractory period, or time between erections, starts to widen. "So a guy who wants to let off some steam and enjoy an orgasm could be detracting from his desire to have sex," he says. Bottom line: if you have a good relationship and a good sex life, casual self-pleasuring shouldn't be a matter that needs to be pushed. Otherwise, you could end up ruining a perfectly healthy relationship.
Sex addiction is defined as a sexual act that one must do compulsively, that begins to intefere with one's relationship and daily life. Regardless of whether or not the facts are accepted, there are literally millions of men and women who are addicted to pornography, masturbation, and pornography "collecting." Denial is clearly just another part of their addictive behavior, forcing the addict's partner to confront the situation and potentially leave the relationship entirely if the addict isn't interested in helping him or herself. Know when to walk away. Don't allow yourself to be drawn into the web of trying to "fix the addict." An addict can only fix him or herself when he or she hits bottom and is ready to seek help.
Masturbation can be a hallmark of an eroticized person with a healthy libido. "But as men get older, they require fewer orgasms and less sex," says Kerner. So you need to look at where you are in terms of your own sex life. "If you're masturbating more than you are attending to your partner and her needs, then it's really a detractor," he says. If you think your sessions of self pleasure are becoming too frequent and interfering with the pace of your normal life, you may want to consider that you're addicted to sex.
http://www.aolhealth.com/healthy-living/relationships/sex-habits?icid=200100397x1210224813x1200631878
What is it? Like with most compulsions, sex addiction is considered a problem when it interferes with a person's ability to function normally. Those who suffer from compulsive sexual behavior are relentlessly preoccupied with their next sex session, whether that's intercourse, masturbation, porn-collecting or some other outlet.
They're often unable to control their sexual desire, even in the most inappropriate of situations. The pursuit of sex can hurt their families, careers and finances (just think of what it did to Eliot Spitzer), not to mention their health and safety. For addicts, sex is often followed by feelings of shame and despair. Sex addictions affect about 3 to 6 percent of American adults.
http://www.lemondrop.com/2008/09/26/sex-this-seasons-hot-new-addiction/
Here's more on the topic of sex addiction from Psychology Today, for those interested in exploring this topic further:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/sexandlove.html | |
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| Masturbating to porn, impotence, Viagra
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:00:07 PM | I watch porn and masturbate seven times a week. Eight in a long week. This is only because I do not have a partner. If I did not use porn, it would just take too much time out of my day to pleasure myself. Sometimes I do it more than once a day.
It is really weird that he can't have intercourse, orgasm, or ejaculate. There are some major emotional and physical issues there.
I can suggest a penile implant and a penis pump. The wonders of modern medical technology. | |
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