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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:54:57 PM | From post # 48, a man with a name like in Leonardo Da Vinci's time:
There are some surveys floating around, that show that first date sex happens about one out of 3 times. That's not just POF, but all first dates. That's been my experience, too. When you first meet someone, more often than not, there isn't "chemistry", or you don't *click*. When you do "connect", many people, especially those who are divorced, expect it to naturally be sexual.
But isn't that the overall problem with many who call themselves Christians 'Divine Hypocrites', in that they yield to *worldly beliefs* and then non-Christians can slam us as we evidently are not living the Bible's teachings?
I mean when our Christ addressed the adulterous Mary Magnalene, was he only talking to her about her sexual sin or the future Christians upon the planet and the those who lived in iniquity?
John 8:3-11 (KJV)
"3And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. "
Do you really believe he meant that we would sin no more? Or that she as well as all Christians and those that would become Christian need to clean up thier act? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:58:05 PM | | well i am not like that I would love to hang out with a girl on POF and get to know them and have fun like a dinner /movie or my fav. Bowling! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:02:47 PM |
But isn't that the overall problem with many who call themselves Christians 'Divine Hypocrites', in that they yield to *worldly beliefs* and then non-Christians can slam us as we evidently are not living the Bible's teachings?
Do I accept that I am saved through faith, rather than works?
I don't claim salvation, through adherrence to the law, and my dilemna is this. A strict reading of the bible makes divorce impermissable, and once divorced, remarriage is the same sin, as it is to have sex outside of marriage. I am not capable of celibacy, so I accept that the God who made me will understand.
I have never said that I'm "righteous" on the issue of sex in dating, nor held myself up as the "model" for others to follow. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:17:11 PM | In Revelation 9:21 KJV
"21Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries, nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts.'
In the ninth chapter of Revelation it seems evident that we as Christians need to clean up our act; or we won't be going where we think we will.
When the Bible was cannoniozed, a certain Bishop doubted John's Revelation yet wanted to add a gospel of sait Peter that wasn't cannonized.
But the question is *If* John is a prophet of God should we say "I'm forgiven, I can do what ever I want?" Or is your logig no more than a mere murderer who says "I'm sorry, and God has forgiven me? Didn't a lot of gangsters in America's history use this logic as they attened confession for thier sins?
Really, according to John in Revelation, don't we have to clean up our act or are non-Christians right to call us hypocrites after we commit fornication and think *falsely* that we are saved!
Does Revelation teach this?
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:23:22 PM | | Lovinvixen, this is wildly off topic, and no doubt, boring to others. I have not presented myself as the model of Christianity. In terms of strict interpretation, no one who is divorced should be dating at all. Obviously, this thread is about dating style for people who are dating, not about Christian principles, as they apply to dating. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:31:01 PM | From our OP in the first post, # 1:
I havent been on POF very long, week or so. And, it seems to me
that, well the guys that Ive met so far and not all just some, want
to jump from Hi to meet/sex. Is that normal? What ever happened
to talking finding out about the other person, getting to know them
a little to see if meeting would be enjoyable, then see if there is
something. Seems to me that in this day and age, things are too
instant...give me the slow lane :)
Not knocking the previous post responding to me, but according to the OP I'm on topic and Christians according to scripture are supposed to follow certain precepts. Just like Moslems are supposed to follow certain precepts, and Amish and Catholics have thier own precepts as well.
But the question is how should I a Christian and the many other Christians on POF respond when confronted with sex outside of marriage? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:58:07 PM | I think that we have to respond with our true feelings and interpretations of what our faith requires of us. I'm definitely a believer that we are saved by faith not by works and as we are led by the Spirit we are free of the law. Not everybody agrees with me, but that doesn't given them the right to judge my true and honest belief. Christians are individuals. Christ is supposed to have set us free from the rule of law.
Aren't Amish and Catholics Christians?
I don't think the question raised by lovinvixen is the same question raised by the OP> | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 8:26:52 PM | The Op is asking about normalacy in sexuality. And the reference by the quote is about promiscuity. Words change in meaning over the decades but *generally* sex before marriage and with a superficial emphasis like within the first few dates has been defined as promiscuity.
Ever heard of a book called 'The Scarlet Letter', about New England colonists in the respective religious community and Hester's punishment? That should reflect the morality of the early colonists!
Isn't our OP complaining about the early emphasis on early sex and asking for feedback?
And Yes, other faiths are Christian but can they choose what they want to follow as well as edit the truth?
And when we pervert the truth from the original documents or the Leader's words, in this case the Master (according to John in Revelation) what is the false teaching called? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 8:42:39 PM |
I mean when our Christ addressed the adulterous Mary Magnalene
Was this before or after Christ married her, and they had a child?
Isn't there a religions forums where this sort of dialogue would be more appropriate?
Forgive me but, I find the postulizing in the forums to be rude.
Please, stop.
And when we pervert the truth from the original documents
Excuse me? Have you seen the original documents? Read them? Are you perchance skilled in liguistics or Aremaic? Do you know Ancient Hebrew and how to transcribe icons beat into stone? I don't think so. You're having a difficult time posting with proper grammar and spelling.
This isn't relevent to the topic the OP posted.
Stay on topic and off the Cross. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 9:30:02 PM | | OP, I don't think it's normal and not all the guys I have met online have been like that. Be true to yourself, be safe when you meet, and hopefully you will meet someone that you will be able to relax, get to know and have some fun with. Sometimes you have to meet a few frogs before you find your prince... | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/12/2008 10:38:30 PM | | I agree but that is the culture..no more slow dancing..no more one on one dating..fast food..fast information (texting etc) and now fast sex.. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 3:43:19 PM | Why can't we have sex AND courting?
......................................................short post..............................................
............................................................................................................................. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 4:08:55 PM |
that is the culture..no more slow dancing..no more one on one dating..fast food..fast information (texting etc) and now fast sex..
Yes.  | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 4:35:55 PM | oh god...what is 'normal'?
it doesn't matter
personally, I think we should all have sex, then meet, and finally say hi...but, admittedly, that one is still in the rough draft phase.
Most guys..at least the real men I know do not operate like this...they want to know a bit about what they are getting into.....
and, if you vibe with someone, and chat a bit, get to know one another, and then...(oh my) , you happen to have sex along the way, I believe that is the way nature intended it....otherwise, get a pen pal.
In my experiences, it is usually the woman who rushes the sex part.....and that's the truth.
and then, predictably, feel 'bad' afterward., because they promised themselves for the fortieth time they would take it slower this time 'round...sheeesh!!
not all guys are as one dimensional as you indicate
Kimbo**************************** | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:28:35 PM |
at least the real men I know do not operate like this
It's a new "buzz word" on POF, that the men, who think they know what women want to hear, are referring to what "real men" want. Often they say..."real men will ask "how high"", when asked to jump. 
Here's the deal, dude. "Real Women" enjoy sex, just as much as men. When I have sex with women on 1st dates, those are "real women" having sex with a "real man", and those types of dates have often led to "real relationships", including, for me, a 20 year marriage, and several long term relationships, including the one I'm in now.
If you think the sign of a "real man" is to "take it slow", or minimize the importance of sex to a man, that's fine. It would leave me "real frustrated". | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:58:53 PM | actually, I believe a man who is comfortable within himself, would never ask 'how high'. when a woman asks him to jump.
but thanks for giving me the heads up RM on the new 'buzz words' on this venerable site.
I don't have any preconceived thoughts of what a woman wants to hear.
I can only speak with my own voice, and, since it's posted on a public forum, both men, and woman can read those words.
Slow is relative to how each person thinks....right?
and of course, both men and women enjoy physical closeness and sex. That's not a news bulletin.
I was answering a post about how all, or most men jump to sex too quickly. I for the most part, don't operate like that. And, never on a first date. But, If you do, and you got a shiny new girlfriend because of that manuever..then more power to ya, chief.
Kimbo******************************** | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 6:17:32 PM | | Exactly how long do you think it's necessary to talk with someone before meeting?? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 6:24:42 PM |
Exactly how long do you think it's necessary to talk with someone before meeting??
Obviously, that is an individual question. I can only answer, based on my own "trial and error" experience. I've found that meetig sooner than 2 weeks is "too soon". There are a lot of advantages to talking online and on the phone, prior to meeting, when there's nothing "invested" emotionally. There are things that you can tell, and learn, during that period that could otherwise take a long time to discover. It also gives you a chance to discover deal breakers, before you waste each other's time.
On the other hand, if it goes past 6 weeks, I think you've lost the chance to meet at your peak. I don't think I ever actually met someone past that point. By then, I've lost the "urgency", without which, I doubt it would transition from online to real life.
Your mileage may vary, though. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 6:47:56 PM | Why can't we have sex AND courting?
I'm really beginning to like this lady! Keep reachin' across that aisle, AP, and show us the way.
OP-The only thing nugget I can offer up is that, if a woman posts a profile on a dating site, she has taken away one HUGE line of defense she can use on the street, which is that she is somehow taken by someone. Post a profile, and the guy is now standing right in front of you, knowing that you want it. To him, the rest of your defenses are just details. Crucifixes rarely work.
So you're up to your ass in alligators. Lol. Most of the women waders in this pool are pretty salty, and they will share their man repellent with you. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 10/13/2008 7:07:29 PM |
whytwater wrote: The only thing nugget I can offer up is that,
if a woman posts a profile on a dating site, she has taken away
one HUGE line of defense she can use on the street, which is
that she is somehow taken by someone.
Actually some people post profiles on dating sites who are openly
dating multiple partners, or married. | |
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