| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:47:46 AM |
Most guys..at least the real men I know do not operate like this...they want to know a bit about what they are getting into.....
and, if you vibe with someone, and chat a bit, get to know one another, and then...(oh my) , you happen to have sex along the way, I believe that is the way nature intended it....otherwise, get a pen pal. -akimmbo
Wow!  I am glad there are still men like those; the very type many women are looking for.
not all guys are as one dimensional as you indicate
And I was lucky enough to have met that type. When guys rush or apply pressure or ultimatum to do something I am not prepared/ready to do, I am saddened because I have to let them go. This could apply to the demand in meeting in person. I always associate rushing to meet to "Hi to bed agenda," thus I am weary of those. Desperation is a huge turn off!
I do not believe in wasting each other 's time. But yes, it is unfortunate if I feel there is a future in a relationship and the guy gives me the impression that he is only interested in that one thing. I can detect it miles away. 
Mind you, a healthy and normal woman would have that much interest but give her a break. In between the sheets is not the best way to know each other or the best way to know you are compatible. There is time for everything. I think the main thing is to be honest to yourself. Do you have a hidden agenda? What exactly are you looking for? If you are looking for someone ONLY to 'spice up your life,' as someone emailed me, then 'Hi to bed' is the best way and there are better dating websites more attune to that!
If you really want LTR but insist that you are looking for friends, then you are giving mixed info and the other person maybe taking it slow thinking that you have the same goal.  | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:30:53 PM | | I'm with you girl.And what's with all the divorces these days? does not anybody work at a marriage anymore? No wonder we have so many messed up kids today.It is almost impossible to meet a widower on here. I was married to the same guy for 43 years and we didn't have a lot in common but it wasn't that hard.If he wanted to go play golf with the guys it was no big deal. I just called a friend and played tennis,then we met for dinner out afterward.Ladies there are ways to get those guys to do what you want without them even knowing they have been had. My husband and his friends wanted us wives to spend our vacation fishing one year.We told them they needed some time away from wives so we were going to let them go fishing and we were going to Las Vegas. Those guys had their bags packed before we did. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:48:35 PM | Personally I think its a dangerous thing to just jump into bed with anyone you meet.
There are so many STD's etc out there and not to forget AIDS too.
You have to remember that most men are out of a bad relationship and a very expensive divorce and arent in a hurry to go back there.
Also, sex for men is a very important part of a relationship and if thats not right there is no point continuing the relationship.
If he wants it 3 times a night and she wants it once per month the relationship is doomed ! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:20:42 PM | Awh............Don't be a prude. Who's got that much time. Besides how are you suppose to know if you like them or not if you don't bang em first....................................
j/k............ | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 1/28/2009 6:12:58 AM | | Ha ha!!!! That's too funny. It sounds like we both have the same problem. The women I meet want to go to bed right away and being that I have been there and done all the quickies and one night stands there are, I would want to be on a different level with them. But I guess the reason is that they may not be used to just chilling out and getting to know a guy and maybe just being intimate without the sex at least in the very beginning. It's sad because women can't believe there are guys like me out there that just wanna chill and take it easy and treat them with respect. But they get shocked when they experience it up close and personal. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 1/28/2009 10:16:04 AM | | Yea had a friend one time "notice had" who believed such crap, convienced he could walk in a bar ask 10 women to have sex and find one. What's seems to be wrong with this picture? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 12:11:37 PM | OP you ask if males exhibiting whoring around( Biblical Bias) behavior is normal.
If you observe that the USA is falling apart in morals *If * there is even such a thing amongst the Mad-Jority, then it Should Not surprize you.
If you took a socialogical sampling among the Moslem people you would find within their nations, NO they DO NOT whore around as within their laws both male and females are put to death for premarital sex.
True, if you have seen the latest movie 'House of Saddam' you realize that if it's true he perverted Islam quiet a bit when he took another's bride as dictator; but his nation does not represent all Islamic nations.
Among the Uh-Mare-Reek-Can people, if you honestly did a survey statistically and not skewing the data, except for some groups like the religious sect know as the Amish, most of those in the USA whore around prior to marriage; espeacially the males!
And what does that say about thier mothers who evidently endorse such behavior in their sons! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 12:59:50 PM |
Hello fellow POF'ers
I havent been on POF very long, week or so. And, it seems to me
that, well the guys that Ive met so far and not all just some, want
to jump from Hi to meet/sex. Is that normal? What ever happened
to talking finding out about the other person, getting to know them
a little to see if meeting would be enjoyable, then see if there is
something. Seems to me that in this day and age, things are too
instant...give me the slow lane :)
comments?
OP...If you want slow then you pace it...it doesn't matter what they want. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 5:05:12 PM | TibiaMiss,
It works both ways. Years ago, I went out for the first time with a girl from the neighborhood. We had a great time, dinner, dancing, drinks, etc. It was obvious she wanted to have sex. I thought (mistakenly) she could be a keeper, so I went with my instinct and did not spent the night with her, in order to see her again, and I told her so. I was sooooo wrong.
It seems she only wanted sex, since she did not return my phone calls and clearly became unavailable. If we had had sex that time, maybe we would have stayed together, but....I will never know.
These days, taht experience comes to mind and I do not have sex right away.
In these matters of relationships, we cannot be right every time. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 5:14:12 PM | Welcome to it.
You think that guy that hit on you in the club wants to know your SAT score?
Don't think for a second that it's just because you're on a dating site. Although, I
guess it could be more-so... but that's debatable. It's JUST as assumed by men that
when you show up at the club you're looking for the same thing they are.
******
Point of note: When I say, "they", I do of course include myself. I'm as male as any
of them. And while that may not appeal to someone "wanting the slow lane" like you,
just realize that some of us don't feel like wasting the time between those "looking
for Mrs. Right" dates just doing nothing- might as well fill them in with "fun right
now" while I'm still young enough to do so. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 5:24:58 PM | Going from Hi to bed??????
Yes, why not? Assuming there is strong physical compatibility, that could be fun.
But it's risky. I would have to know for sure that I am meeting somebody special and that there is complete understanding of what we are doing.
This does not seem to be a related guy issue. Women can initiate too. I probably wouldn't....but who knows? If I met a younger version of Clint Eastwood, maybe I could. The Bridges of Madison County was very romantic......how long did it take them? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 8:25:44 PM | you know, there is something worse than someone who wants to sleep with you.
someone who doesnt. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 8:35:42 PM | Who bothers with the bed? Standing up, pinned against the back of the front door is great! The floor in the front hallway is mahvelous! The front staircase is perfect for "K9"!
Advice part:
Put more restrictions on your profile. Won't screen out 100% of the trolls, but it might make it easier to see the ones who are making a genuine effort to reach out and get to know you as a person.... | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 8:59:28 PM | yes... those are the fish from the shallow end of the pond.
Just ignore them! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/18/2009 11:21:02 PM | Who bothers with the bed? Standing up, pinned against the back of the front door is great! The floor in the front hallway is mahvelous! [/quote ]. This was toooo funny  . PS: Guys , something is wrong with the quote format. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 12:17:08 AM | | is it normal? i'm sure. is it wrong? only if one does not want to. but thats the beauty of online dating. your supposed to ask them a bit about themselves and get a feel for them before you meet. maybe im wrong, but you do have the power to talk to them before you meet them. THEY DONT KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!! and besides, you said it yourself, "not all just some". so i dont understand why you even posted this. everyone is different, you know this. Yet your question implies otherwise. some are on here to hump. some are on here to find love. YOUVE BEEN ON HERE A WEEK!! Think maybe you need to talk to a few more people before you drop some crap like that? I'm usually nice, but WOW! Seems to me your out in front in the slow lane. good luck with finding someone who wants to get to know you before they sleep with you. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 12:24:14 AM | Someone in another thread made a comment about how a woman and a man who are ready to have sex at different times are incompatible and should move on.
I was reading that thinking, hell, I must not be compatible with any man I've ever dated! Most men seem to be game for having sex and THEN going on our first date! I just don't work that way. I need time to warm up to someone...at least a dinner or two! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 12:59:44 AM | I think we are in an 'instant gratification' society. Nowadays you can get just about anything you want, if you havent got cash, you get a line of credit, if you cant get credit chances are there are illegal ways for you to still obtain what you want. We must have bigger houses, shinier cars, extravagent holidays, more clothes and shoes than your local Walmart (as is my case ... sorry girls gotta shop!) and all because we want to appear to be doing well, or keeping up with jones' next door.
There doesnt seem to be much emphasis on earning what you want any more as its so readily available to us at the drop of a hat. Same can be said about the 'sex' straight up. There are a large number of men and women who see what they want, whether it be materialistic or of the lust kind and think that they can just have it, why because they have never had earn it or learn the value of working for something. And what happens if they cant, they move on to the next best thing to furnish their need for 'instant gratification'. And no they dont feel bad about that, in fact they probably figure you had your chance and you blew it.
I just wonder if there are some things in this world you got to put the hard work in before reaping the benefits... and for me that includes sex, wouldnt that make it much more rewarding in the end
Much love
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 4:07:18 AM | | To the poster above me......check out the economy, those days are over!!!!! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 6:14:05 AM | | Hi i have the same problem i have been onPOF for one week i meant some guys only thing they want is sex i am very disappointed does it not exist get to know the person talk go out to movies i am 44 i getting turn off myself you are not the only one hi and he want to have sex | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 7:36:51 AM |
Mind you, a healthy and normal woman would have that much interest but give her a break. In between the sheets is not the best way to know each other or the best way to know you are compatible. There is time for everything. I think the main thing is to be honest to yourself. Do you have a hidden agenda? What exactly are you looking for?
I'm not sure sure that anyone on here can give an accurate, reliable answer to the "what exactly are you looking for" question. Just about everyone on here has had a prior relationship, probably several, and we want to do it again, though not with the same person. But we want someone, and something, better, even much better, than before.
Now, we begin to engage with someone new. Hey, we're adults, right? Most probably, no longer virgins (with all due respect to those who believe that the mere passage of time may restore that status, Lol), really don't want to come on as teenagers, and consequently, have a tendency to fast-forward over ground we have previously covered, albeit in prior relationships. Yeah, that applies to sexual expression, but to every other part of the larger relationship, and all its facets. We can think we're starting from scratch, but, well, not exactly, and the notion that we are "starting over", completely, can actually be discouraging.
Several of us build from a plan, with a vision of what the thing will look like when construction is complete. I've taken this approach, though more often seen my "partner" do so, but no one is entitiled to wear the "foreman" hard-hat in these relationship projects, and the "project" is probably gonna crumble under its own weight before it can be occupied safely.
Yes, "there is a time for everything", and the best construction managers know when to call in the next brick. stick or crew to the site, but I don't think that kind of approach really works. I have an idea of where I want to be, actually more than one (e.g., friend, lover, but always some form of bonding) but I don't have the equivalent of plans and specs, so I've come to believe more in the let-the-magic happen approach. And "a time for everything", to me, has more validity when I put it in terms of "ripeness". I think we go through phases, as frequently as daily, but usually in longer waves, when we are optimally ready to engage or join with another, matched with troughs when there oughta be a sign on the forehead that says something like "Caution, bridge(s) out-go around".
There are alot of project engineers on this site, and lots more where they came from. None of them seem able to build a house that they themselves want to live in. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 10:01:26 AM | We all have choices we do or we dont....go from hi to bed.
Personally no thanks I'm looking for a relationship.. not a one night stand most walk away after first meet to bed.Fair dues if you want or like that type of thing,not me I want to get to the guy and it'll happen when it happens. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 2/19/2009 8:23:33 PM |
lovinvixen wrote: ...most of those in the USA whore around
prior to marriage; especially the males!
Especially the males? Whenever a heterosexual male is
having sex then presumably (at least) one woman is also
having sex at the same time. | |
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