| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 6:21:06 AM |
If you like it, fine, then do it, but don't tell the OP or me or anyone who doesn't, that we're wrong and need to change!
For me, BJs aren't the end all and be all of existence. They're nice, like backrubs, but if there's some "issue" there, it's not that big a deal.
However, for some guys it is, and this is just one more example of why the "take it slow" approach is a really, really bad idea. Suppose some guy gets led into one of those 6 month waiting periods, only to discover, when they get there, that there is a major issue of sexual compatibility? | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 6:24:10 AM |
Why do so many people feel the need to shame and bully and guilt those of us who aren't - for whatever reason - into oral sex?
By the same reason women feel the need to shame and bully and guilt those of us who are into it.
don't tell the OP or me or anyone who doesn't, that we're wrong and need to change!
Why not? After all, most women here are telling us that we're wrong and need to change. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:22:56 AM |
Why not? After all, most women here are telling us that we're wrong and need to change.
No. Not just wrong. "Bad men!" Nobody has said that OP is a "bad woman", nor anyone else with issues with performing oral sex... Just not compatable with some of us in a long term relationship. Some have played the mental issues card a little strongly; but, she brought it up, and it's a valid issue to have as well.
If I had never had the pleasure of a good BJ, I would be "a take it or leave it" kind of guy, too. I have, and it's like crack cocaine, except it won't kill you. I don't expect a BJ every time may pants come off; but, to never have one again? Why make that choice when you have others? If someone waits until they have my heart before they drop this information on me, I'm sure I would be accepting at first. I just don't think I would be happy long term. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:47:11 AM | | amazing that this forum question has already produced 10 pages of responses. What is really interesting..... is seeing what really is on the minds of some people. Sorry, i can't add any comment on this question, i am still intelligizing my personal views on our political see-saw,we have going on. Blow- jobs can always wait!! | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 8:58:39 AM | I don't care for them myself. I think if a woman wants to and the hygene, and other areas are handled go for it. But to me, It is NOT one of my favorite "to dos." I am sensitive to the fact a lot of ladies do notwant todo it, so I put it up front, it is off the table. Then if she wants to (over time) we can discuss it but my relationship with her will NOT be based on sex or the need to "show" how much she cares. My .2 cents worth
Kntrlme | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 10:57:11 AM | | LOL! I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out HOW you're going to have this "otherwise good relationship" without them! | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 11:01:40 AM | Re the Opost
I would like to add this. In a casual and thus not serious, "short termish" relationship, going w/o a BJ is not the end of the world (after all there are some STI concerns, especially for the woman (in a BJ, and the man in "eating" her). But in a more serious and with LT potential rel, the prospect of no BJs "ever" is a "no go" (and of course the analogous for non going down on her, for her).
Plus anal is not as a core sex thing as oral is, by far.
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 11:02:08 AM | OP, There are men who are not as interested in oral as others. This is a touchy issue. one thing you might consider is counseling. Another is becoming very good at hand jobs and other forms of stimulation.
This is not going to be a deal breaker for most men. If you truly have a connection with a gentleman it is workable.
ER | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:13:48 PM |
...a lot of ladies do not want to do it, so I put it up front, it is off the table. Then if she wants to (over time) we can discuss it but my relationship with her will NOT be based on sex or the need to "show" how much she cares.
Thank you! I like your attitude.
N. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:22:29 PM | Some men, Some women. We are all unique. There are some who absolutely love giving and getting, there are some who love giving and there are some who only enjoy receiving and so on and so on. I can't imagine a bj being a dealbreaker - Unless one is insisting on receiving and then refuses to reciprocate, but that covers most everything - in and out of the bedroom.
I knew one man who turned down a blow job
He was afraid he'd lose his EI benefits!
  
>Someone 'had to' say it!
A.S.is
ps
It's suck not blow .. does anyone know why its not called a suck job? (Unless of course it's just no good and then .... ) ok .. I'm done. (for now!) | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:37:15 PM | Short explanation of the word "Blowjob"...
It's American slang from the 1920-30's. It's based on the fact that the giver looks like she's playing a musical instrument (Skin flute to be precise.lol). Being that the popular music of the time was swing and big band, it makes perfect sense. Our GI's took it to Europe, and the Pacific Theater, during WWII. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:41:23 PM | Personally, it would probably be a deal breaker. I'm very orally inclined (giving as well as receiving), and would sooner give up intercourse than give up oral sex, not that I'm giving up either. However, I know men who feel just the opposite, so I'm sure you'll find someone for whom this is not a deal breaker. That being said, I would definitely make this known at the outset, or at least as soon as it seems appropriate to discuss sex.
Perhaps more importantly, I would hope you have sought counseling for the abuse. If not, I urge you to do so as soon as possible. It saddens me that someone has caused you such pain and trauma. I hope that jerk rots in hell for it. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:44:58 PM | Funny thing about this is that women were given vagina's for sex. A man gives a better bj to a man from what I have been told because they know what they like. Seems kind of like there are some closet gays out there.
EDIT: The trans streetwalkers seem to have a great business going...lol. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:59:47 PM |
A man gives a better bj to a man from what I have been told because they know what they like.
ahem.. cough cough - not according to the men I've "talked" to!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
And before I forget:
OT - OP I am sorry this happened to you as well. There are some truelly evil people in this world, and you didn't deserve what was done to you. I think you have a great spirit and incredible courage for expressing your truth and I hope that life unfolds as a beautiful bouquet from here on. Much love, peace and hugs to you.
A.S.is
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 2:06:57 PM | Sometimes a Blow job if done right is better than sex. I would say if I had a choice between 2 women and everything else being equal, then I would lean to the girl with the GREAT blow job!
You feel like SUPERMAN!!
Montel
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 3:32:54 PM | Re post 241:
Short explanation of the word "Blowjob"...
It's American slang from the 1920-30's. It's based on the fact that the giver looks like she's playing a musical instrument (Skin flute to be precise.lol). Being that the popular music of the time was swing and big band, it makes perfect sense. Our GI's took it to Europe, and the Pacific Theater, during WWII.
The American GIs took what to Europe? The term "blowjob"? Hardly! It is called "pipe" in French (pipe) and so is in Greek. Nobody in France says "Cheri, est ce que tu vas faire mois une blowjob". They say "pipe" or other colloqual French words.
So what did the GIs take to Europe? Europeans knew and practiced oral sex way back in time! So did Asians of course! Duh! | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 3:44:31 PM | The term Blowjob was not used in England until after WWII, nor was it used in Australia. Whether it's used now in other parts of Europe or not, I don't know, but I'll bet it was for a time after WWII. If only by the women, when American GI's were present. Ask your grandmother.
If English is spoken, the word blowjob is likely to be understood for oral sex... Even if it's not used. Google it. I paraphrased what I've read in the past on the subject. I may have left something out; but that's the gist of it. You don't have to agree for it to be true.
And "pipe" could easily be slang for a musical instrument you blow into. I can see how that could have evolved from blowjob, even if you can't. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 3:54:10 PM | | I wouldn't even consider dating a woman if I found out she didn't give head. It even bothers me when women don't swallow. What's important is for two lovers is their willingness to be unselfish and satisfy each other. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 3:59:09 PM |
lol = funny how no one's even questionned the "job" aspect!! lol
Actually, after Googling it again, to make sure I had it right, in the 20's and 30's it was only used when soliciting a prostitute. Somewhere along the line it became mainsteam. So that explains the job part of it. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:01:16 PM | | It wouldn't be a big deal to me especially given your past situation. A guy that cares about you would understand in my opinion. I respect your honesty. :) | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:47:35 PM | Re post 248:
Is this an attempt to prove that the term or notion of oral sex was invented and exported by the US? Oh pleeez!
"The term Blowjob was not used in England until after WWII, nor was it used in Australia. Whether it's used now in other parts of Europe or not, I don't know, but I'll bet it was for a time after WWII. If only by the women, when American GI's were present. Ask your grandmother."
1) My grandmothers are dead. Thus lame suggestion.
2) Not all European women "liaised" with the GIs back then.
"If English is spoken, the word blowjob is likely to be understood for oral sex..."
Well, actually, "sack my ...." is more likely to understood, although gross.
But then again, American pop culture has exported many of its elements in Europe and the rest of the world. Trying to prove that the term "blowjob" was/is one of them is a .... JOB!
"You don't have to agree for it to be true."
There is nothing really to agree with. Most Austrian women LIKE giving head, no matter how they call "it", most American women do not. That is fact! lol lol And that is what matters and what the Opost is about: Whether a blowjob/giving head/gellatio/pipe etc is a dealbreaker in a rel. Who cares what term women around the world call "it" or what the GIs did in WWWII re the subject!
"And "pipe" could easily be slang for a musical instrument you blow into. I can see how that could have evolved from blowjob, even if you can't. "
Or vice versa. Why do some American have to show that "America" invented everything? lol lol
>>>>> Let's face it, sex terms sound much much better in French! <<<<<
Judging by the number of American women who do not like giving head or do not give head, it would seem that America imported puritanism and sexual taboos and still has them, long after Europe overcame it!
Blowjob is IMO a pretty gross term to use. Even pipe (pronounced (une) "peep" in French) sounds better!
PS. If French terms were used, maybe more American women would like oral sex. Maybe.
Ciao!
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:51:50 PM | | ^^^ I don't know what you're going on about. Nowhere did i say oral sex was invented by Americans. You're making something out of nothing. Continue as you wish. I didn't even bother to read your whole post. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 10/3/2008 5:22:12 PM | | I think they can live without bj's ... but just they think they can't. Surprisingly we can all live without a lot of things we think we need! However I do believe there are men out there that it wouldn't bother them in the least not to have one ... then there are men out there that think they are entitled to them no matter what ... stay away from people who think they are entitled!! | |
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