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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:14:36 PM | Ok, I haven't read all of the responses, as there are too many, so I don't know if this has been brought up.
Let me start off by saying that it's a horrible thing that has happened to you and that nobody should have to go through that. It is understandable that this has life-long effects.
But I also don't see this as the black or white issue that it's being looked at. But this also depends on your willingness to possible take a look at your own reaction, as difficult as it is.
You don't have to start off with giving a full BJ. What's your favorite dessert? Use it! Bring some whipped cream and strawberries to bed. Play! Lick it off! Dip the strawberries into it and feed him and yourself.
Right now you have a negative association , so if you can find a way to turn that association into something positive slowly, without pressure, then you're on the way. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/5/2009 4:50:44 AM | Right now you have a negative association , so if you can find a way to turn that association into something positive slowly
For some women the idea of whats underneath the whip cream and strawberries is the problem. I cannot do a bj no matter what is on it. For those who just dont like the taste then your idea is good one. For thoise who are sickened out by eating a man's cum well it wont matter what is on it. It jsut aint gonna happen. Even if the woman cant taste it, doesnt matter, its the idea of soemthing like cum going into her stomach. Just knowing that the cum is in your mouth..whether taste is there or not. It is sickeneing for some women. It is not something we can jsut get over. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/5/2009 7:10:40 AM | Kittenhere, you missed what I was trying to convey. I did not say for her to lick until he cums. I suggested for her to use this to become comfortable with it being close to her face/mouth. Whether it's one lick or 5 minutes of them. Baby steps, if she's willing to work on her issues.
I consider it to be an extension of him, so why would you look at it as 'gross'? I think that's pretty insulting to him.
Well, I'll leave it as that. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/5/2009 5:59:59 PM |
*Taylord. What can say to you?
Firstly, I respect and love men. My father's a man and my brothers a man. And my good friends are men. And someday my son will be man. But immature, orally-fixated, perpetual male-children? I DO think they're stupid. Mind, I don't dislike you. Just find your views annoying.
Otherwise, they'd be your mother and sister. 
Why'd I get asterisk'd out? :( And how can you find my views annoying when you don't even know what they are? This is a singular topic. My view <--[singular] is that I like receiving (and giving) oral. Does that mean I'm "orally fixated?" To some of you women, I guess it does, but nothing could be further from the truth. To me, it'd be the same as a woman saying she'll never do anything around the house. My having a prerequisite that she do stuff around the house doesn't directly translate to me wanting her to do everything all the time around the house. It's just knowing full well that she's never going to participate in the upkeep of the homestead would be a deal breaker. I'm not saying that I want a woman to be on my crotch 24/7 (as nice as that would be.) I'm saying I wouldn't go into a long-term, committed relationship with a woman who is never going to give me oral or only do it on "special occasions" as though she's doing me some huge favor. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/17/2009 10:57:20 AM | I can take or leave a blowjob; it's not a priority for me.
One woman totally turned me off the idea of future blowjobs (from her) when she insisted on forcefully jerking off while blowing me. As she was on her merry way to 300lbs., her jerking shook the bed so much it spoiled my erection. Ewww ... | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/18/2009 3:05:10 PM |
As she was on her merry way to 300lbs., her jerking shook the bed so much it spoiled my erection. Ewww ...
So, wait... Her being nearly 300 pounds was no big deal, but her shaking the bed was a deal breaker?? Come on! | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:26:38 PM | tayl0rd: Thank you for inferring that her 300 lbs., was "no big deal" to me, but I never said that. You are kind to assume I didn't mind her obesity.
Because my eyes were closed during her blowjob attempt, I could forget how fat she was, but once she started shaking the bed apart it was hard to overlook. I don't even remember why I let her touch me in the first place.
The worst part is that she jerked herself to orgasm, while I only ended up with a bad case of blue balls. Talk about selfish! | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:32:39 PM | so Sebastion didn't like the fact that she was fat, but thats okay, he just kept his eyes shut to get laid. What a Prince of gut you are not!
Glad will never get a good blow job, your a pig. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:06:09 PM | Yes I can,, She can take, Monday, Wednesday, Friday OFF
But,, it would be great if Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, I can get one,,
My schedule is real flexible,, But not to where I want to go without,,
She can let me know when she would like oral,, I will be there to serve her needs as well.. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:33:50 PM | Meh, I've always thought BJs were vastly overrated.
Now what I COULDN'T deal with, is a woman who refused to let ME go down on HER.
THAT would be a dealbreaker.  | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:04:31 AM | | I've never been able to sit through one from begining to the end. Feels so one sided, quickly Im pulling the person up. And getting all of our senses stimulated. the ride is alot more fun when we both are enjoying it. But a few strokes with a warm moist mouth is nice fore play. just like the licking they'd get | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:43:51 AM | I mean this with the most respect:
See a proffesional to put your abuse behind you.
Something that should only give you and your partner pleasure, has now become an issue that probably haunts you, where you shouldn't even be thinking about it, except in a good, positive light.
Oral sex is sooooooo relaxing.
You're depriving yourself of something really fabulous. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:38:04 PM | It's a matter of preference and there are plenty of other fish, so if you wind up with a guy whose gotta have it and you just can't go there, there would be a basic incompatibility. Unless you want to share him with someone who likes doing that, moving on before you fall too hard is probably the best bet.
I feel sad that you were violated and that you find something that could be wonderful now disgusts you. I also tend to think that if you and a man truly love each other that your sensibility and willingness could change.
I'd have to say that I could be no more than friends with a woman who feels as you do. Men aren't the only ones who have strong tastes and aromas, but a healthy, loving partner could well be a taste worth acquiring. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:19:35 PM | | Take "oral sex" and substitute it with something somewhat popular but less mainstream in our culture (e.g. pegging. I just find that to be a good example to use a lot in this thread for some reason) and advice like cfb62's just sounds ridiculous... | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:30:33 PM | No person should have to deal with not getting what they want sexually.
If oral sex is a deal breaker........then do not commit to someone that doesn't give it.
This is what dating is for. To find out if you are compatible before u commit. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:06:42 PM | Personally, I have never been overally crazy about oral, I mean, I like it, but I have never been able to get off from it, and sometimes if it's done badly, it actually turns me off. Personally I prefer intercourse with full body contact.
But with that said my greater concern is that you have written off an entire form of sexual activity due to childhood abuse, of what sort I don't even want to imagine. This implies to be that you have failed to come to terms with, and move past the abuse, and would make me wonder what other residual effects it might still be having on you. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:09:08 PM | As you know, there are men who do not enjoy giving or receiving oral sex.
I wouldn't worry about it. If he's not willing to understand, he's not worth your time. | |
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mc6409
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Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 1195 | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/23/2009 5:52:46 AM |
This implies to be that you have failed to come to terms with, and move past the abuse, and would make me wonder what other residual effects it might still be having on you.
I won't speak for OP.. However, someone may have gotten through a tramatic experiace successully,, yet those memories are never erased,,then sometimes there are triggers in life that brings back those memories,, it could be as simple as a song, but that song my last for just 3 min,, we learn to gut it up so to speak, as we embrace that feeling knowing they will quickly subside,,
However in OP case, we are talking about making love, intimate moments where we are more vulnerable,, it's no longer a 3 min episode,, That not to say,, someone can't get help with those feeling and emotions, and live a happy normal life,, Oral could be just one of those triggers that you can't/or won't let go of,, it's when you won't is when there re issues that need to be addressed.. jut my opinion.. | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/23/2009 9:47:08 AM | | I was married for five years to a woman who didn't do it after the first month we were married. It wasn't the biggest problem we had, but I did resent it. Especially since I was willing to it for her. | |
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mc6409
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Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 1199 | |
| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:40:46 PM | SweatAngle
I feel sorry for you guys, I'm technically still a virgin
ok not trying to be a smart ass here but technically still a virgin
isn't that like being a little pregnant  | |
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| Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:13:00 PM | | I'm sure they could in theory but I wouldn't make one. I would figure out a way to get over that. Maybe with the right man it won't be an issue? Good luck on that...................................... | |
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