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| separated from bipolar husband
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:07:36 PM | SugarMountain, the "mean" you witnessed likely was the result of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), not bipolar disorder. Because many people suffer from both of those disorders, the two are frequently confused by the general public. With bipolar, the person sleeps a lot when they are depressed. When they are manic, they are either a lot of fun or very irritable and obnoxious, depending on how manic they are.
But their obnoxious behavior is nothing like the meanness occurring with BPD, which is a thought disorder. It causes a person to misinterpret what you are saying or doing to the point that they sometimes consider you to be Hitler and will treat you accordingly. That hostility is exacerbated by their emotional splitting, i.e., seeing only your good points or bad qualities at any point in time.
Aside from the level of meanness, there is another way to tell the difference between the two disorders. The bipolar mood swings typically last several weeks (except in rare cases of rapid cycling) because they are caused by gradual changes in body chemistry. In contrast, a BPD mood change typically occurs in minutes (oftentimes in 15 seconds) and is triggered by events (your harmless statements or actions), not by body chemistry. Of course, body chemistry can affect the intensity of BPD tantrums but it does not trigger them. Note that I am not a psychologist. I am saying this based on my experience of living 12 years with my bipolar foster son and 15 years with my BPD ex. | |
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| separated from bipolar husband
Posted: 10/20/2009 6:46:01 PM | Downtown....what a great explaination. My ex & I were only married 5.5 months and about two weeks before the breakup he just switched. Very moody, mean, black/white thinking....I am still in shock over the 'switch'. He said that divorce wasn't an option in his family, blah blah blah. The we would be together forever thing, yeah, right.
In retrospect there were quite a few 'red flags'. He was 45 & never been married, admitted that I was the only woman he had ever respected, had two live in's...one for 3 months the other for 4 months and that was when he was in his early 20's, only had 2 dogs of his own and gave them both to his parents to keep, and ate at his mom & dad's everynight for dinner and had to talk to his mom 4-5 times a day, he was soooo moody I was either good/bad....but at the same time he could really put on the charm, so I 'felt special'....but I wasn't 'special', I was stupid and fell into the pit of hell that I am still clawing my way out of. It has made me a very bitter woman. I don't think that I will ever be the same person, and I believe he has BPD.
In fact, when I was packing to leave, his mother came to help me (very sweet woman, but I think she is glad that she has him to herself again), she stated 'Karen, maybe Jim was never meant to be married", so she even knew he was a whack job, but wouldn't come out and admit it. He was also one of the most selfish people I have every met, if it didn't benefit him....he wasn't at all happy. He was a taker, not a giver. And, everything was always my fault and built up to be a huge injustice no matter how small the 'offense' may have been.
I don't have to talk to him anymore thank God. He became so verbally abusive that I refused to put myself through that again. Sorry this was so long & I didn't mean to hi-jack the thread, it just really gave me an opportunity to vent. | |
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| separated from bipolar husband
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:16:19 PM | For Chee Chee Rod...I am sorry you had such an ordeal. You are not a stupid woman. In fact, you were intelligent enough to get away sooner rather than later.
I have bipolar disorder and just wanted to make the point that not all bipolars are the same. Some of us are pretty "normal" people and have a great disposition about life and other people.
You will find people without bipolar disorder who are mean, moody, selfish, etc. I am the opposite...loving caring, compassionate, honest. All positive traits most women are looking for here, but won't give me a chance. I have been alone most of my life because of the stereotype that has permeated society for decades. Bipolars are all the same and they are all unworthy because they are dangerous, or weird or whatever negative adjective you want to use to fill in the blank.
With some bipolars, the opposite is true. We are and can be good decent people with high values and character. Everyone has flaws...I have flaws. But are my flaws any worse than others because I am bipolar?
I hope people will judge the person, not the disorder. | |
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| separated from bipolar husband
Posted: 10/22/2009 5:47:06 PM | | Bipolar me molars. I throw my vote as: ALCOHOLIC DRUG ADDICT! You, lass, join Alanon or some co dependensy type of group. | |
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