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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?      Home login  
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 atsomepoint
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 26
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I don’t think hiding in other things works, at least for me. The pain is there, trying to avoid it only makes it last longer. Sort of like a nagging toothache. Face the loss when you’re ready, take an afternoon for yourself and go through all of the old cards, emails and memories and face it. As the saying goes, when you get to hell, keep going! You’ll come out the other side a much more balanced person for facing it than trying to hide from it. It will give you a far better perspective for the next time and the fear of it happening again won’t keep you from trying.
 elliotstabler
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 27
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 10/20/2008 11:42:10 AM
heels, since I posted that message ,she did confirm she got my message, then just said she had to go meet someone and was gone. I have to let go ,we all need to do that who are in this predicament. I have lost 15 pounds already from not eating and can't seem to get enthused about anything. Even trying to find a new job, I had to resign my last one as it was in her area ,two hour drive from here , so not very practical for commuting. One thing about debts, they are always still there no matter how hard you try to ignore them. If I don't land a job this week, I am in big do do . Thanks for your message to me.
 elliotstabler
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 28
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 10/20/2008 11:47:58 AM
sexy mama, you are on a merry go round that will never stop until you hit the stop button. It has to be very hard for you when you have to include him in your childrens lives of course but you really should consider to stop sleeping with him. He is making a fool of you. You must know that or you wouldn,t be posting on here right ? If you can, make arranged times for him to see the children and you should go out .
 geoffrey116
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 29
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 10/20/2008 12:13:00 PM
What I have found is that I talk to myself in a proper conversation with her. LOl. I aint a crackpot but I talk to her and tell her allsorts. It is like she is there but not there if you know what I mean.

Obviously I do this when nobody is looking. lol

It does pass the time and I dont feel so bad either.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 30
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 10/20/2008 1:07:53 PM
This is a very difficult thing to do, especially if someone makes a huge impression on our life; our feelings and what have you. It almost reminds me of a death...when you want so bad to talk to someone and they just are not there for you. Time is the only healing thing I have found. And sometimes even time, is not enough. :(
 bello 01
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 31
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 10/21/2008 4:16:09 AM
Sinple man get over it and keep keep you'r self busy as muct you can , there is always good chance to meet people put not in the internate . i mean did you ever asked you'r self one's its possible to love some one ifind hime in the internate or its possible she will find some else like she did to me . look man iam sorry maybe iam hard litle bit with you but trust me as in my experience that was only dreame. to get her of you'r head is to find some one else.
 _Juls_
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 32
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/24/2008 7:42:38 PM
i don't know your name, but you are 100% right jess3 j. You will never truly heal if it was for real. I trust you. I am still trying to heal, move on with my life and not to think about that guy - but CAN'T. And i want to tell you that i didn't have to have sex with him to fell in love! We didn't do it! He wasn't pushing me and i admired him so much for that. Normally guys want it right away - first date, second or a week after. I spent few weeks with this man and enjoyed every moment with him. If someone of you who is reading my responce is saying something like :well, he has a problem as a man for sure... STOP right now! He has no problems, he is a MAN. And i believe there was a reason for me to meet this man - i don't know exactly what it is yet, maybe for me to find out how it feels to be rejected or something else - have no idea. Last time i saw him was in july and i still think about him all the time. When i wake up in the morning, when i work, when i go to bed at night - all the time. And i want to tell you a secret - i make love to him in my imagination and it feels good. BUT I AM SOOOOO HURT!!!
And Notebook is amazing movie. Thats what kind of love i am dreaming about. Yes, i am a dreamer. Take care.
 Daisy1012
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 33
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/24/2008 8:31:20 PM
First write a poem about them, stop listening to the radio, drink a lot of wine, cry a lot and eventually the pain goes away. Then you tuck them away in your heart and finally, smile again. :)
 two gypsy
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 34
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/25/2008 6:51:41 AM
Ya gotta get angry. When that person invades your mind ya gotta think of the bad crap they did, instead of dwelling on the fantasy of the good stuff. Works for me. And you gotta have humor. When my ex invades my mind I think of some things that annoyed me about him and make it into a joke. Like his dancing, he thought he was soooo talented, to me he looked like a wounded chicken. And the noise he made in bed, like the scene in Forrest Gump when Forrest's mother jumped the head masters bones. Now when my ex invades my mind I wonder why I even bothered to give him the time of day.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 35
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/25/2008 6:58:00 AM
what you said - distractions, keeping busy

when thoughts of the person enter my mind i firmly push them out again and purposefully think of something else

avoid doing things/going places that you know will make you miss them, at first - over time the ache will lessen and then's the time to create new memories when doing those things/being in those places, if you want to return to them - maybe do something slightly different this time, try something new

begin again

the further the distance from that person (emotionally - the things that tie your memories to her and mentally - thinking about her, looking at photos, etc and physically - being near her, seeing her) and the longer the time passed after being with her, the easier it becomes... but yeah, it takes time most of all, imo
 Fun_Guy_Likes_To_Dance!
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 36
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/25/2008 11:46:27 AM
You have to stop all contact is the first thing. Put things away around the house that remind you of the person you are trying to forget about. I know it isnt easy thing to do letting go but staying away from the person and ceasing contact is really the best way. After a week or two is does get better. I been there before and before you know it I asked myself why I thought I needed someone who didn't need me in the first place.
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 37
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/25/2008 12:16:50 PM
in my opinion, I dont think you can ever get someone out of your head, unless they meant nothing to you, but even than, its not like you lose your memory of the person, you still remember them, you just dont think about them, but someone who you felt meant something to you, its pretty hard to get them out of your head, you just more or less, try to think less and less about them. I think the only way to stop thinking of someone, is when you start thinking of someone else, so in that sense your always thinking of someone in one way or another.
 reanne4
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 38
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/25/2008 12:25:47 PM
i agree you never totally get someone You loved out of your head. they tend to pop in now and then. it gets less and less. of you do decide to try and replace that person with another realize that it is only going to be a rebound. you will rush it with the new one because you so desperately want to get the old out of your head. then one day you wake up and you have the old and new there in your head. make sure there is room for new.
 kenda2010
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 39
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/25/2008 7:14:37 PM
One word: WHISKEY.
 1trueknight
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 40
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 2:20:30 AM
O.k.

Some would say that it depends on what side or you on.. But that's not true. If you are a loving person and you had set your sights on loving them but they left you down or let you down or whatever. You have no other way but to just grunt and bare it. No matter what you are man or women. If you've been dumped then it hurts like hell and the only thing that one can do is let time take it away from you.

And time will be in no hurry to do this so don't try and help it. Time doesn't need any help from you or I. It will move as slow and fast as it wishes. It seems like it likes to hurt you along with your tormentors. But let me tell you its not. Time is just on times side and no one elses.

But if you needs some help with the process heres some ideas.

1) If you've loved someone and that didn't love you inspite of what they said stop anylizing it. You probably weren't in the wrong. So just sit down where ever you are and let it out. Get it out of your system. Try and take peace in knowing that what goes around comes around but only allot worse.

2) Next look at yourself in the mirror and just say that it wasn't my fault and say it like you mean it. Because you do mean it. These little things will help the pain to sit better in your heart so that over time you may let go of correctly.

3) Treat yourself right. I mean the money that you were spending on them take it and don't use it for bills or anything like that. Instead use it for yourself. Treat yourself to a movie or take yourself out to eat or something like that. Don't go with a friend just go by yourself. Becuase you may not be ready be around others just yet..

4) Then try and carry on the best way that you can. Go to work and hang out with friends shop with buddys or what ever. But if your like me, a loner, then just go about your normal routine but happier.

5) Don't go back! Is something that allot of people say. But as for me I say only you know if the person will hurt you again. In other words "Learn to see people for who they really are and not who we want them to be." If your able to do that then you can makt a good decison.

Follow these steps and you should be ok....
 ginandorange
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 41
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 7:46:21 AM
I wish I knew cause I am going through similar. Got dumped in August then in October when my broken heart was begining to mend he got back in touch I though things were okay and I got dumped again. Its been five weeks so far (this time) and I still cry myself to sleep at nights, can't concentrate and feel overwhelmed with sadness. A lot of wine and a lot of weeping seems to soothe my soul a little but I just can't get him out of my head. I'm sorry that others are going through similar but have taken comfort in reading the forums and realise that I'm not the only person on the planet that has a broken heart.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 42
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:49:49 AM
Recently felt I was in love with a POF fella, had a really hard and painful time of it at first, the sudden loss of "us" and how I was feeling..which was joyous the emptiness felt more pronounced than before...

But then I realized I wasn't missing who he was in reality.
Who he was in reality was someone unable to be real, someone not able to communicate honestly and openly, someone who found it easier to lie or hide, and not be genuine.

Who I was missing? Was the man I had believed he was - but that wasn't real. He wasn't that guy.

Once I realized I was missing and aching for an "imaginary friend" I also realized how many moments of my life I was wasting on "no one". Harsh? Maybe. But I think it was pretty true and very accurate.

I'm logical enough that to spend time wasting someone that wasn't real? Too foolish for me to tolerate or allow inside myself.

It made moving on, so much easier.

My suggestion? Stop allowing yourself to hurt over the romance and the fantasy. Eventually the good things will be good - but for now? To end the obsession...? Look at the reality. Look at what the facts and the truth are, instead of recalling the romance and the love.

The truth can be a sharp and brutal thing that focuses you with great and intense clarity - if you allow it to.

But everything in life is a choice.
It's your decision and within you to choose what you feel.
 ryansmsk
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 43
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:54:24 PM
well it is very tough if you actually liked the person on a deep level , is some people i have meet over the years that i have forgot about quickly and others that sort of stay in my thoughs even though they are gone for the time being . it can be hard to get someone out of your mind entirely as distrations only work for so long , over time things will get better and eventually we move on to someone else .
 imulysses
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 44
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 7:29:46 PM
I've gone out with a number of nice gals since a break up with my most serious g/f in a long time. They were all wonderful but what bugged me was that they almost all knew that 'something was up' with me. Every time I got near to them, 'she' came to mind and the others just kind of could not compete with that.
I have talked with a number of friends, who are slowly running out of patience with me, not that I bring 'her' up all the time; it's just that when I do, it's the same old story because they cannot help me and I cannot escape the thought that I lost my one true love.
I know that sounds pathetic, because if she was a 'true love' she never would have left. But the pain is real and after several women, and several months, you would think it would be easier by now. It's not. When will it be? Beats me but this is the risk you take when you risk your heart. The fact that you can still feel pain, however, as the OP can, is a good sign; it means you are alive.
That's about the only good thing that happened. Still, the important thing is to understand that you have a problem here and until that problem goes away, OP, you, nor I, will be good for anyone.
I've had to mention that to a recent date. Under other circumstances, she would be a great 'potential' but under present conditions probably not. It's important, though, to be honest about it so you don't lead anyone on. Try and be friends, focus on finding things interesting to do, sleep lots, pray, and hang in there. The alternatives, which include fornicating with everything in sight, drinking wildly, doing drugs, or over-eating, are not healthy and only prolong the pain.
Good luck to you, good luck to me, and good luck to everyone else who finds themselves in this similar situation.
Ulysses.
 VB_IrishGirl
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 45
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 11:26:04 PM
Amen!!!!...They claim --we have to mourn the relationship--go though each stage of grief until we find acceptance--but It is not about that. I don't really miss "him"....I miss us--I still have to catch myself from picking up the phone and tell him I'm on the way home....I changed friends, houses,...who knew we were suppose to have a back up plan-for the just in case--

I don't know how to either...but I need the answer. I miss having "that" connection--my best friend...the comfort of having someone sleeping next to you at night.

It still hurts if I allow myself to think about the situation. I threw myself into work--keeps me busy--but it hasn't made me feel any better--or forget anymore!
 GrnEydGirl007
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 46
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/27/2008 12:49:34 AM
Give it time....and like others said--- relive his faults-- his annoying ways-- remind yourself of the bad...

Also remember if you are looking backwards you can't be moving forward! :)

Things definitely get better.

I also can relate to what a poster said up above-- about falling in love with the fantasy; of the image we created (and they helped to create too)-- not the man himself.
It's been a reality check, forsure!!!
 ready4love47
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 47
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/27/2008 1:08:02 AM
I recently went through a breakup that should have happened 9 years ago. For some sick reason I had an extremly hard time breaking it off even though it was a very destructive "relationship". I went through alot of self destructive things as well such as major obsession, resentment, anger,agony and intense pain, but in my case it just died off and our constant breakups became easier and easier until I just didnt care anymore. I only wished I had taken my mothers advice years ago and that is....
"The best way to get over a man is to get under one!!" LOL
 jane-d
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 48
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/27/2008 1:23:08 AM
I don't really miss "him"....I miss us--

That is so how I feel. When you connect with someone like you havent before
But i am almost there. Deleted the pictures of him, cried as i did it started going out more, talked to my friends. Dont think ill get over it fully because he let me down in the end, but know i am worth much more than he gave me, all i kept were 2 sea shells off the beach which i have put away in a drawer. The day will come when he wont be on my mind.
People become your past for a reason and although we cant decide who walks out of our lives we can decide who to let in
 GrnEydGirl007
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 49
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/27/2008 1:41:57 AM
Hey I understand the feeling of being let down.... but I really believe *I* let myself down more than he did. I idealized him and the life we'd have together. I fell too hard- too quick. Wholly and fully heart and soul. I really need to make sure they've earned that love from me. Vice versa...

...and well sometimes the cliche "life isn't fair" truly is just that. I believe circumstances (DISTANCE) was just too much to be overcome......well for him but I need to respect that. Slowly I'm coming around to respecting and accepting that it is so.

I'm a firm believer that timing is everything (he also felt the same)-- obviously our timing then wasn't right-- maybe someday it will. Maybe it won't...who knows. :)

I like to think the ones that didn't work out were there to teach us lessons and lead us towards the "right one" ~ Guess only time will tell.
 Sunny*1
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 50
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/27/2008 6:21:20 AM
Good thought; ones that don't work out where there to teach us lessons. Wishing all of us that are currently in the Heart Break Hotel a speedy check out
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