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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?      Home login  
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 dancecard
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 126
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
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I had a great time, then suddenly blocked and she's gone...

Be nice if she said why....


Ah ~ and you want the secret plans to the "Death Star" ?

Don't get me wrong ~ We all understand ~ but I doubt the knowledge would change much. ~

The biggest question being perhaps ~ "Did you miss play your hand?"

I find that people that block you ~ wants a simple life on their terms ~ having no reserverations leaving others in th blind ~ says something about character , don't cha think?

I attempted to offer a kind word to a poster that had been misunderstood a few days ago, ~~ But I smoke! ~~ She's not interested in hearing from the likes of me ~ so a simple, kind word of support was left ~ unsaid. ~ And to who's loss?

I had no , ~ Zero intentions of trading spit ~ but only thoughts ~ her loss.

Like I say ~ some people choice to hide. ~ It's an option both here and the real world.

Waste little time in quandary ~ but understand at anytime in life ~ someone can pull the rug out from under you.

Dance
 skunkette64
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 127
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/4/2009 4:44:40 PM
I have to agree with Jess3 j on this.
Some loves you can't get over. It all depends on the history and how 'deep' the relationship was. Even though, you may have parted ways for whatever reason, I believe some loves can never be forgotten or gotten over. Yes, the movie NOTEBOOK says/shows it all. That movie is my all time, FAVORITE movie.
 mrbudgood
Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 128
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:10:49 AM
lady if i was your brother i would litterally beat the snot out of him then i would rip his testicles off and put them in a jar then hand them to him hell ill do it anyway no body messes with my homies
 SandySunnySoul
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 129
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/5/2009 7:07:17 PM
"What you resist persists"
Carl Jung (1875-1961)

A break up is very painful simply because it represents a loss. Loss of simple but priceless moments shared, loss of hopes and dreams that you had together, etc. It has an impact on many aspect of your life. You need to go through the grieving process.

You are past the denial stage because you know that the break up is real and you admit that it hurts.
Do not fight the feelings of anger or sadness. Express them to friends, family or by projective methods such as writing a journal, poems, drawing, or sports (such as kick boxing, dance, the list is long).

Allow yourself to function at a less than optimal level.

Be kind to yourself and remember that the grieving process is normal.

You still have a future and can realize your dreams (even the dirty ones!:) ) I hope that I did put a smile on your face.

Wish you all the best. The experience will make you only stronger.




 cindysun
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 130
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/5/2009 9:19:52 PM
You dont get them out of your head. You just learn to go on. Its kind of like the cigarette commercial where you have to retrain yourself with everyday activity. I have found that the problem with women is that they jump right back into a bad situation because they dont want to be alone when being alone is what they really need. You have got to be honest with yourself and decide what it is that you want in a relatinship and weather you are going to setlle or not. I choose not to settle. I know that this means that I will not have someone with me all the time, but I am certainly going to have fun while I wait. We have to retrain our thinking in that we should be thankful for the times that we have had that was good ( and bad), learn from it and be a better person from it. Our existence does not depend on having a good man by our side, but on what kind of person we choose to be. Take the relatinships and learn from them.
 wiktor1985
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 131
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 5:41:26 AM
the best technique is to get some other girl in your head
 dancecard
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 132
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:43:52 AM

the best technique is to get some other girl in your head


and OP that will be your infinitive and final cure!

The human mind ~ can be fooled ~ tricked ~ lead ~ for good and bad.

Understand to ~ It's not really this person that in your mine ~ but really just your "illusion" of her. ~

It's what you put in ~ and has little to do with reality ~

She's really not as "wonderful" as you image!

Replace her with another image ~ or change you image of her!

and that a difficult process ~ to change an image ~ so it's quicker and easier to replace her with another.

Dance
 luv2lol
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 133
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:49:37 AM
You know this is the biggest thing I struggle with too. I'm a bit of an over-analyzer (which is good for the type of work I do but it kills me in the relationship realm) so I can go through the grieving process and try to keep myself busy but those thoughts are always there...the worst is when I'm alone in bed trying to go to sleep, I can lay there for hours not able to shut it off.

To find some peace I have either had a realization about myself (e.g. if rejected for some reason and then you experience that same thing in someone else you can see why the other person did what they did - this requires insight to why you were rejected though and often we don't have that). Or I have a realization about them to see they weren't the one (i.e. acknowledge the red flags and poor qualities that I was ignoring while I liked them). Or I just have to push through it and find someone else to transfer my thoughts to. That's a hard one for me because I don't find people that interest me romantically a lot...like hardly ever. But I also agree that there are some "Notebook" kinda loves that some will never get over/stop thinking about....you may find someone to distract you, you may even care a lot for them and marry them...but there's that one person who will always have your whole heart.
 Davvy32
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 134
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 10:27:21 AM
Trepanning is an option but I dont recommend it. Otherwise i'm all out of ideas but if anyone figures it out can you let me know too please.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 135
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:02:06 PM
Do something to improve myself significantly in some area.
I've been in the best physical shape after a break up.
A good work out really makes you feel better, and just knowing you look better then ever is the best revenge you can get... even if your ex never sees the results.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 136
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 3:15:36 PM

am still sleeping with him he dont like the thought of me being with some one
but he does like the idea that you will continue to be used by him...you need to stop the game for your sake and your kids sake and please get on with your life. I know how extremely painful life is but you need to love yourself and your kids and let that be your center, not someone who doesn't value you...
 yepimstilllonely
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 137
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 5:31:03 PM
Alcohol. Then I feel worse. Screw it.
 Blue Eye Dan
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 138
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 5:41:54 PM
Hey what happens if the other girl dont work out as well then what you do that happened to me I was married for five years had 3 kids than she dicides to cheat on me than I got into another realationship everything was goin great than one day she says I just want to be friends now after being in love I just dont know what to do any more
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 139
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:09:29 AM
hmmm..you are talking here about breaking a thought pattern. When you use words like....you have developed a strong cognitive/mental attraction to them.
One of the hardest tasks to humans is to quiet the 'thinker' for a bit...and allow time to see how we feel. That's different. It's really a time thing....which is hard for humans to sit with in a world obsessed with scheduling and time.
Many confuse a breakup with a rejection.....but it's really not the same. Probably more a series of missteps or wanting to rush to judgment. And, other things too...that I'm not that clear on right now.

I once 'broke up' with my first wife for three years...now that's a long time....and we got back together....obviously, there was some work we each needed to do on our own, we didn't know that then, of course...but in looking back....it was absolute truth. Another example that what we believe today....we may not believe tomorrow.

what works for me...but may not work for everyone...is that I attempt to place a person that I Love from my head , into my heart.....where what we have can still live...you know..until the fog lifts a little bit.

Kimbo******************************************************
 Macca_1974
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 140
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:40:37 PM
Well I am going on four months now and I still think about this girl. She left me via an email to go back to her ex and I haven't heard from her since, other then a couple of short emails to arrange to pick up some of my things. The more I look at it the more I know it was for the best, but I still think about her and I wish it would go away. I know I would never go back, but for some reason I think she will come back. So to answer your question...

No friggin clue!

If you find a way please forward it on to me.

Cheers...
 marshall900
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 141
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 2:14:38 AM
I play music, and write songs about the situation. More often then not, you can have an epiphany when writing that allows you to move on.

I realize now in life that everything happens for a reason, just pay attention to the fine print, because it is more important then whats looking you in the face.
 vrb1955
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 142
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 5:24:26 AM
hypno therapy - you can wipe out years of bad mistakes .

Goodbye all of 2007 , part of 2008 and 2 days ago
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 143
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 8:00:24 AM
There is a type of hypno therapy called neurolinguistic programming (nlp) which can alleviate the pain associated with specific incidents. It can work wonders, depending on the situation. But for something that is extremely complex and involves years and years and multiple facets, it probably won't work. I highly recommend it for short-term relationships that don't span many years, I don't know why or how it works, but it just eliminates the pain when you think of that situation and that person, it truly is miraculous! And it only takes one session with a good nlp therapist- after a session or two of explanation. For some reason, even when we know we are better off without a "poison" person in our life, it still doesn't over rule the heart
 samlaz
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 144
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 8:32:20 AM
Get rid of all reminders, ie, emails, pictures, his/her stuff, re-arrange your home or move if it is a constant reminder to you of him/her. One thing that I've found is to really be aware of your thinking...be in the moment. By being aware and in the moment, you will be aware if your thoughts switch to thoughts of him/her, and you then work very hard at changing that thought...like think about what you are currently doing be it, making dinner, exercising, listening to the radio, going for walks and looking at nature, reading books, etc. Focus really hard at living in the moment and taking in what you're doing, right now, ever aspect of it. You'll find that by doing this along with the passing of time, will make your transition time to becoming a kick butt single person, a lot easier. I am finding this to be the case for me. After a seven year relationship, my now-ex "let me go" two weeks before our summer wedding - no warning. The last six months have been the most challenging and sad times I've probably had to work through. But by doing what I described, I find I am going through some days without even thinking about the guy. And I'm at the point where I'm thinking...why would I waste the energy and let him take up space in my head. He failed me completely, and I'm now thinking more along the lines that I was fortunate to have missed that bullet. You will feel this too, but you have to do some conscious work over time. Best of luck to you:)
 dancecard
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 145
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 9:57:37 AM
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<div class="quote"> I play music, and write songs about the situation. More often then not, you can have an epiphany when writing that allows you to move on.


Yes ~ or drown it the sorrow ! ~ I seem to do the latter ~ Hey ~ never are you more alive when standing so close to death!

I wish I was like the young lady a few post up ! ~ Gets in to shape ~ feeling good and looking good ~ working out ~

Guess I've just an old cowboy, love song writer at heart ~ I write my best stuff in such times. ~ Never hide in drinking to excess ~ just sad songs and druggy , painted up , wicked, city women.

It's funny how we all react to such times ~~

Dance
 Paul Tito
Joined: 1/2/2009
Msg: 146
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 3:19:15 PM
I've read a few of these messages and can empathise with most of them but I have to say I believe there is nothing that will get true love out of your head. If you have been affected in this way like me then the only way out is to live with it, forever. True love goes deep it effects all your memories so there's no escape, not even in new memories, because they were not there with you. So stop pretending, that's the only thing you can do. Its not hopeless, embrace the love that you had and the person you lost and take that on your journey. Accept it all and there will be a chance of using that sometime to make a better future even if it is alone.
 winestyles
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 147
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 7:02:55 PM
When you start to think of them, direct your mind to stop at THAT momment. After a while of doing this, it will go away eventually. If you continue to repeat the same pattern you will get the same results...so ask your mind to stop.

Also, do not re-listen to voicemails, re-visit emails, don't listen to that special song that reminds you of them, remove all! Stop driving past their house or calling and hanging up. This will just drive you crazy.

It will take time, but I promise, it will get better.

Good luck...
 She_Biscuit
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 148
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 7:47:27 PM
[Most people who have gone through a breakup/rejection will face a TWIN STRUGGLE (the battle of the mind and the battle of the heart). Your thinking and feeling are still focused on the person. So, how do you WIN THE BATTLE?]

I don't think it's a matter of winning a battle. I think its doing things to get one through it, so that they are finally free from it.

It's what ever length in time it takes for an individual, usually filled with doing a lot of things to keep ones self occupied with thinking about other things, to feel free of the battle. Then after a certain amount of time, there may be a point where one is totally past the past, or if not, well, then that was true love. In which case, a person does what they have to do, they go on the best they can and take what they had experienced along the way. I suppose it's called getting past the battle, enough to let that part of it all go and simply get to a point where one can feel good about it all. No matter what, it's never easy, but there is always something good at the end of something, that did not work out as one would have wished it to be.

Just stay busy, start some new goal and time flys, so things will get easier.
 vrb1955
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 149
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 9:02:49 PM
anyone got a hammer ..We will drive all those evil thought right on out of that noggin! Hold still ! It will be over before you know it !
 db14445
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 150
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:50:50 AM
The best way to get someone out of your mind is time. Also, talking to freinds about your situations. Vent in front of people who care about you. Don't hold feelings back because eventually if you get it out you will look back at what happened and say there is something better for me.
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