|
|
|
|
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 8:44:17 AM |
The high costs that many sports entail are not nor have they ever been suggested as necessities.
Sports or other extracurricular activities are not necessities in that your child won't die without them, but they certainly ARE important for your child's welfare. And, so long as the sports or other activities are not allowed to become more important than the child's education, they actually enhance the learning ability and interest.
Not all sports or activities have to cost a fortune, either. In our city, the individual communities all offer different programs (some more programs than other, I'll grant you) at very inexpensive rates--I think the most expensive I've seen was $40 for ten weeks of lessons, some of the lessons are even free, and there are activities for children and activities for adults, and even some for both together. I don't think there is any couple whether together or estranged that can't cough up $25 for their child to take hip hop lessons, drawing lessons, gymnastics, soccor, swimming or something else for a three-month term.
I live in a poorer neighbourhood of my city--lower middle class with some folks less fortunate than that. I can tell you from personal experience that there is a direct relationship from the willingness of the parents to have their child in an extracurricular activity of any sort to the behaviour of that child.
Money is tight for us, too, but I still manage to give my child some of everything that I KNOW is good for her--healthy food, tutoring (which is the most expensive of the lot), paper, pens, blankets, pets, activities and the odd luxury--maybe a movie out or a sleepover with junk food.
Nutt | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 9:09:26 AM | | I do think extra curricular activities are great for kids to be involved in, yet dont see that an ex should be required to pay them, would be nice if they did, but definately cannot force them. So many people complain of deadbeat ex's and how they dont get support or get very little or dont get it on time etc etc etc), yet when they do its not enough its more more more!!! Yes i know housing and everyday expenses are expensive (i live in the highest cost-of living city in florida, my rent is being raised to just a tad over 2 grand in Jan), but we would have those expenses with children or without. Find a way to pay for your kids activities if your ex doesnt want to. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:45:11 AM | | I've heard a few times about the $60 the OP's ex pays, and how so many of you deem this "not enough". Then what is "enough"? This ex happens to not make a lot of money or is continually unemployed, and I doubt this happened as soon as the OP and him broke up - he was likely always a low income earner. But if it was a doctor or lawyer with an above-average income, the support would be far greater, and I doubt as many people would be complaining if their ex never saw the kids because they would be better financially "compensated". Liv within your means - YOU also choose to sign those divorce papers, and there are financial consequences to that. Also accept that you knew when you had sex with your ex what his financial income was, so don't act surprised that your child support is lower then average, because the dad makes a lower then average income. Sure, money doesn't matter when you are in love or looking for it - until YOU want a piece of it. Don't complain about your rent being $1800 a month - if you can't afford it, then move. Your fault too. It is not your exes responsibility to provide funds for you to live in a lifestyle you want, it's up to him to provide a financial contribution so his kids have the things they NEED. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:51:25 AM |
do think extra curricular activities are great for kids to be involved in, yet dont see that an ex should be required to pay them, would be nice if they did, but definately cannot force them
I don't agree with that. I think that both parents should be choosing a number and type of activities that they feel will be beneficial to their child TOGETHER, and of course, that the child has shown interest or aptitude for, and they should be paying for those activities TOGETHER. As I indicated before, those activities don't have to cost a fortune to be valuable to the child.
Nutt | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:51:48 AM | Firstly, isnt this driving you up the wall..keeping receipts and keeping this info for him to see? Hearing him yap at you about what you can do with his money is rediculous! I know you want to prove him wrong, but there are other things to worry about in life like taking care of your child...and whatever you have to do to take care of your child - you do it regardless of what your ex expects. Hes NO longer in your life to tell you what to do..!!
I was in court for 4 years:
The money you get can be spent anyway you want.!! He has absolutely no right to ask for receipts, and no right to expect you to keep receipts for him to see. He has no right to ask how your spending the money and no right whatsoever to demand explanations from you. Your ex is still trying to control you (no offence to men - but it seems to be an ongoing issue with some)..dont take that on - its his problem..not yours. IF he decides not to pay you because he doesnt like how you spend "his" money - it isnt HIS money, its yours..and then when you take him to court the judge will not be impressed at all with the games that he is playing.
This kind of stuff aggravates me to no end. Most mothers want the best for their children..and those who dont actually lose custody..that money we receive is NO where near enough for the monthly bills sometimes - clothes (especially when they get older and want to look really nice to go to school) and for me i took on two jobs so that i could have that extra money for my daughter - a laptop (which is a necessity believe it or not), school activities, nice clothing. I will never get any money from my ex for a portion of these expenses..and have to suck it up myself. SO, for all these men who think they are giving us LOTS of money..just so ya know, your not! The parent who has the child always suffers financially no matter what the other parent thinks. Its time they realize that and leave us alone to raise our children in peace. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 11:21:00 AM |
Its time they realize that and leave us alone to raise our children in peace.
By "us", you of course mean you AND the father who is paying child support, the father of your kids, right? All I hear on this thread is "me me me" and "I, I, I" and "my money money my money" - the selfishness and complete disregard for the fathers who are PAYING the support is really sad to me, I can only imagine what the kids are picking up. I'm starting to see the other point of view now... | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 1:17:35 PM |
This kind of stuff aggravates me to no end. Most mothers want the best for their children..and those who dont actually lose custody..that money we receive is NO where near enough for the monthly bills sometimes - clothes (especially when they get older and want to look really nice to go to school) and for me i took on two jobs so that i could have that extra money for my daughter - a laptop (which is a necessity believe it or not), school activities, nice clothing. I will never get any money from my ex for a portion of these expenses..and have to suck it up myself. SO, for all these men who think they are giving us LOTS of money..just so ya know, your not! The parent who has the child always suffers financially no matter what the other parent thinks.
You're making a lot of generalizations here that you cna't back up. I know several guys that are paying in excess of $3,200/month in child support plus paying for the child's insurance, college, etc on top of the child support... If a woman can't raise a child or 2 on that + her own income then there is a real problem with what she's doing.
And there are plenty of women who get child support money and spend it on themselves. They DON'T do what is best for the child and it takes the father years in court to try and gain custody - all of course, paid for by him including, in many cases, HER legal fees.
Its time they realize that and leave us alone to raise our children in peace.
Errr... you seem to be forgetting something there. The child is HIS too! You want to be left alone? Get him to agree to terminate his parental rights, quit collecting child support from him and suck up 100% of the cost of raising the child yourself. Until that's done he has just as much right to be involved in the child's life as the mother does. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 2:55:22 PM |
"By "us", you of course mean you AND the father who is paying child support, the father of your kids, right? All I hear on this thread is "me me me" and "I, I, I" and "my money money my money" - the selfishness and complete disregard for the fathers who are PAYING the support is really sad to me, I can only imagine what the kids are picking up. I'm starting to see the other point of view now..."
You are exactly right. I pay my cs every month on time. Then I get the call wanting to get the next month support 2 weeks early. I'm like, WTF I just paid you a week or 2 ago. Paying early once or twice a year might be OK, but not 9 months out of 12. Then I get the old spill on how my support doesn't cover everything for my daughter. Then I kindly remind her that my support is only half. Where is your half ? Oh yea right, you don't have to work, you rely on your new hubby to support you. What a joke !!! She can't afford everything for her child, yet she can afford to smoke a pack a day. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 3:40:14 PM |
it isnt HIS money, its yours..and then when you take him to court the judge will not be impressed at all with the games that he is playing.
Sorry to inform you on this but it is not her money either, it is her child's money. That is the reason why it is called "CHILD support" not "prim parent support".
othes (especially when they get older and want to look really nice to go to school) and for me i took on two jobs so that i could have that extra money for my daughter - a laptop (which is a necessity believe it or not), school activities, nice clothing. I will never get any money from my ex for a portion of these expenses..and have to suck it up myself.
First off all if the children as they grow want the nice expensive cloths then get them to get a part time job to pay for their own expensive cloths that way it will also teach them a few things in life rather then having it handed to them.
Also no I am sorry but a laptop is not a necessity weather you believe it is or not. If they need to do things with a computer for school, last time I checked there are computer's at the libary or at the schools for them to use, so no it is not a necessity. No you will not get any more money for the portion of those expenses because I am sorry but those are not necessity's those are luxeriers (sp) and there is a diffrence. And child support is for the necessity's.
Its time they realize that and leave us alone to raise our children in peace.
Also I agree 100% with Amore's last post the child is both of your children not just your's so why should they as you say leave YOU alone to raise your children in peace. You know what when having a child not everything is peacfull and he has EVERY right to be part of the child's life in any way he see's fit. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 5:32:41 PM | Ok....I just got a chance to catch up on all the responses. Granted, most of them haven't even came close to answering the original question, but I just want to lay some things straight. When my ex husband and I got married we were both working at the same place making decent money. He never really had a great work ethic but I was in love and didn't let it bother me too much. Until we decided to have a baby. When I got pregnant, he did prove to me that he was trying to improve that work ethic. Except one day, he won tickets to a Steelers game from a radio station. For some reason, when he called off from work, he gave the excuse that his grandmother had died. They asked for an obituary as proof. He cut one out of the paper, and by a huge coincedence that person happened to be on of the Suporvisors relative. He was caught. He was fired. After about 5 months he went back to work at the fast food place where he had his first job. During the course of our marriage, he was very abusive. I know it was my fault for putting up with it for so long, but when your "in love" and have a child together, you think a person can change. We've all been there. Please no judgement. He may not have been the best husband, but he was a good father. Anyways, I hit my breaking point, and left him. I filed for divorce. Now my job offered healthcare but it was way out of my budget. So my daughter received her healthcare through a state funded agency. Every three months I was required to send in my pay stubs for proof of fincances. When my case worker noticed I was only sending in my pay stubs and not mine and my husbands she asked if our income had changed. I informed her that we are in the middle of a divorce and it was no longer a two-income family. She filed the petition for child support. I wasn't even going to bother. My ex husband fought it b/c of his own low income. In the end, it came down to him having to pay $60/month. So he quit his job. As I've said before, out of the 4 years we have been divorced, he's paid child support for a combined time of maybe 2-2 1/2 years. He actually currently unemployed right now and I receive my child support from his unemployment.
I don't consider that child support MY money. I consider it my daughters. But my own paychecks only go so far. Towards my payday, my cash flow is pretty non-existant and my job requires me to drive from home to home to home to home. lol. So, I use a portion of my child support to get to work, or to take her to girl scouts, or karate, etc....the list goes on. I don't do unnecessary running.
As for the receipts, again, its for my own piece of mind to save them. Yes, its tedious, and probably unnecessary, but I do it anyways. And when he starts being an ass, I prove him wrong. I understand that our child is just that, OURS. But since our divorce, he hasn't been the most attentive father. He's gone as much as 7 months without a call, a visit, a piece of mail. There have been shorter gaps as well, anywhere from 1 month or 2,3,or 4 months. You get the idea. He has just recently, after almost a year with no contact with her, realized he has made a bad choice with his life, and has asked to be a better father. I think it really hit him hard when he had seen how much she'd grown in 11 months. It bothers him that I have all the firsts. Ex: First karate tournament, first girl scout badge, first day of kindergarten, first report card, etc..... And he realized how bad of a mistake it was. So now, he's been seeing her every other weekend. Anyways, I think I have earned the right to be able to prove him wrong when accuses me of not using that support money on our daughter.
Now there ya go. Pretty much our life story. Now that its out there, hopefully there isn't so much judgement towards me, the OP, anymore!
Thanks again, for all the responses! | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:44:55 PM | Well, whatever about all that,, but in regard to your original question about buying gas with the child support debit card..
I would use the entire $60 toward gas, it won't even buy a full tank probably, but you would have only one receipt to save.
Is it wrong to use the money he pays, when he pays, for gas? Ah, no.... It isn't.
tb | |
|
| |
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:43:25 PM | Disregard??? He pays support because its court ordered not because he wants to make sure his child is taken care of!
When you have an exhusband who does NOT care about his child..yes, it becomes an "US" issue because it is about her and I and I AM soley responsible to take care of her so yes - it is all about me..!! ..and to get through the days/months/years without financial support is the toughest you will ever experience..if your single you will NEVER get it..and unfortunately that is how life is sometimes. Most women want to believe that the person they married and had children with would WANT to contribute and help make that childs life a good one...this is NOT always the way. My ex also got himself purposely fired from jobs every few months just so he didnt have to pay support..
My ex doesnt care to involve himself, its all about him and his money. He wont pay a portion of the 500/ daycare, he wont pay for activities..and the child suffers for this. And yes, it is money given to ME to raise OUR child which he doesnt care about! Ive been dealing with a loser for over 9 years..I have come to terms with it..and the money in the eye of the courts DOES not have to itemized to ensure the mother isnt getting her nails done..!! Any respectable mother would MAKE damn sure their child is getting what they need ALLL the time. AND yes, it is about me..BECAUSE i was left to fend for myself and my daughter for years without any kind of support. Most men feel if they give money that we are okay..and for those who get 3200 a month for support, they obviously were living in luxury before the separation..when you get 300/month for all the childs expenses..that leaves you with the question of "do i get two jobs" or "do i live like this forever"..and I chose not to live on the streets. And yes, it did get to that point..
The question was whether or not gas can be paid for with the CS money. My comments are that the CS money does NOT have to accounted for..it is her money to do what she NEEDS to do to make sure HER child is taken care of. I consider my child MY child..because the father is absent..and doesnt care. If the father did care and wasnt absent then it would make the situation a LOT different ! BUT the money issue is still the same in the eyes of the court. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:50:33 PM | I do have sole custody..
and no, not MANY women get 3200/month..only the RICH people get that..or if there is 10 kids involved..
I can back this up because i was in court for 4 years, and have been dealing with this and women with these types of issues for 9..not sure where you think i cant back this up?
MOST mothers want the best for the kids. Probably every man i talk to THINKS the women spend the child support for getting their nails done or going out for dinner..that is just the stupidest thing ever when you figure we dont have 1/4 the income we had before separation and divorce..
For those women who put themselves before their children ...they shouldnt have had children...
Both parents are responsible for these kids. Does it happen that way 100% of the time..NO it doesnt. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:00:24 AM | Sorry to inform you on this but it is not her money either, it is her child's money. That is the reason why it is called "CHILD support" not "prim parent support".
Really? wow..i had no idea..i think that comment was a slap in the face to all single parents out there..dont ya think?
If the money was the childs - then it would go into a bank account for the child to use when the child reached the age of maturity or the age agreed upon by the courts and there would be a law..which there is no such thing. The parent would NOT get access to this childs money. ..ultimately, bottom line, it is the parent who is taking care of that child who makes all the decisions as to what the money is for and hence it is that parents money... its hard to swallow for some reason that we single parents can do what we want with it..but thats life!
Regardless if you agree on their decisions or not on HOW they (single parents) spend that money..you have absolutely NO say and neither does the other parent! If she needs to pay for gas because she has ZERO money in the bank and without gas she cant get to work which means no pay or better yet, getting fired..then its a decision she needs to make. Without her job she has nothing..i dont see how it would be a hard decision to make personally...???..if she feels guilty then with the next paycheck she takes that 60 and puts it in that jar for her child again..simple.
Life isnt what we expect and its not always about "trying" to make things work..sometimes things are not always possible regardless of how much you want it. The child should never have to suffer..they should never have to know what poverty is and should never have to see or feel that jealousy towards others who have more then they do just because one parent cant be bothered to get a job, keep a job or pay his portion of all expenses for that child. A parents responsibility is to providing a stable, loving and comfortable home for the child. Unfortunately SOME parents think only of themselves, and the kids in the end will grow up to see that. No matter how much buffering a parent can do, the child in the end has their own thoughts and feelings about situations. It is our duty to not bash the other parent..but when the child sees first hand that their dad OR mom doesnt care ..that is why and HOW they grow up the way they do with negativity and hate towards them. Im not saying that all parents are mature..but for the most part most parents want the best for their kids. For those far and few between parents that dont care..they are the ones that suffer in the end because they lose out on having a relationship with their kids. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:13:42 AM | "First off all if the children as they grow want the nice expensive cloths then get them to get a part time job to pay for their own expensive cloths that way it will also teach them a few things in life rather then having it handed to them."
kids at the age of 12 should NOT have to work to be able to have nice clothing..if the parents were together they would HAVE the nice clothing..and their would be a shared expense there..same as computers..some schools actually require you to BUY/lease a computer from them to make sure your kids have one - ya shocking isnt it..
Child support is given to ensure that the children keep to the same economical state they were in BEFORE the divorce..it ensures the child doesnt suffer financially because one parent leaves..having said that..the money given for child support would never be the same as if the parents were still together..and both parents would be contributing towards every purchase made.. whereas after divorce the parent who has the child always ends up paying MORE then the other parent..its a given and to argue about this is fruitless..
Im advocating FOR single parents who dont get thousands of dollars per month for child support and for those parents who have their children first and foremost in their hearts..
I would love to know if any of these comments were from single parents..??? | |
|
| |
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 5:53:34 AM |
Child support is given to ensure that the children keep to the same economical state they were in BEFORE the divorce..
That is NOT the purpose of child support. You are 20+ years behind the times. Prior to 1984 judges could consider "the child's standard of living had the marriage not dissolved" as one of 8 factors in determining child support amounts. That was eliminated by the Family Support Act of 1988 which created the Uniform Child Support Guidelines that have been adopted by all 50 states.
I would love to know if any of these comments were from single parents..???
My ex left and I had sole custody of my daughter - no child support. I paid 100% of everything including 5 years of college. You aren't the first and you won't be the last... | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:11:17 AM |
Child support is given to ensure that the children keep to the same economical state they were in BEFORE the divorce..it ensures the child doesnt suffer financially because one parent leaves..having said that..the money given for child support would never be the same as if the parents were still together..and both parents would be contributing towards every purchase made.. whereas after divorce the parent who has the child always ends up paying MORE then the other parent..its a given and to argue about this is fruitless..
Im advocating FOR single parents who dont get thousands of dollars per month for child support and for those parents who have their children first and foremost in their hearts..
I would love to know if any of these comments were from single parents..???
I find it very typical that in diatribe you never touch on the ability of ncp to provide similar quality housing for their children. But like many other custodial mothers...you have no problem proclaiming it is your right to take all that you can in cs.
And I happen to be the custodial parent......one of the two is full time the second about 65% of the time. I have never seen a dime in cs....and almost all clothes I buy....I paid all before and after school cost.....and I never call my ex a loser...I slept with her at one point and that time she was acceptable enough it would seem....so either I was also a loser and she wa one....or she simply dances to a different agenda than I do now.
Because i suggest that most people are the same today that they were when they first hooked up with them. And it does take one to know one.
This kind of stuff aggravates me to no end. Most mothers want the best for their children..and those who dont actually lose custody..that money we receive is NO where near enough for the monthly bills sometimes - clothes (especially when they get older and want to look really nice to go to school) and for me i took on two jobs so that i could have that extra money for my daughter - a laptop (which is a necessity believe it or not), school activities, nice clothing.
Wow...you do not seem to lack for money....in court for 4yrs...anyone here suggests that court is not expensive...unless they are ones who get it paid for because they lack a job and have no money. But it says you are employed so legal aide would not be a factor...you just used all your money to pursue a vendetta?
So please explain why a laptop is considered a necessity? Neither of my children have one....and they both seem to be able to keep their averages above 80%.......
Child support is given to ensure that the children keep to the same economical state they were in BEFORE the divorce..it ensures the child doesnt suffer financially because one parent leaves
Now that is the biggest crock of crap....and totally impossible for the majority of people....especially those who you are supposedly most concerned with...the common individuals....who most people see as living one paycheck away from finacial disaster.
The only way my children could have continued to live the lifestyle they enjoyed is for my ex to continue working her $50,000 a year job and we use both incomes to to pay for the 160 acre farm and horses that the children enjoyed. Once she decided she did not wish to work that field any longer...the equity slowly bled away until she had less than $100,000 to walk away with.....suggesting that even though I had custody...she wanted spousal support from me.
SO, for all these men who think they are giving us LOTS of money..just so ya know, your not! The parent who has the child always suffers financially no matter what the other parent thinks
So with two parents earning similar salaries.....what is suitable amounts of cs for you?
Since your profile says a some college....and you are working in a hospital....can we suggest you are not earning over $40,000.......and for fun can we suggest your ex is earning the same?
So after you take your court mandated cs....you accept your CCTB each and every month....your additional equivalent to married deduction...who is better off with disposable cash each and every month? | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:34:24 AM |
kids at the age of 12 should NOT have to work to be able to have nice clothing.
And just why should a 12 year old not have to do work around the house or something to earn money for those nice cloths? That is a way to teach them work ethics at a young age. God my daughter is 3 and she already knows that if she wants a new toy at the store she has to clean her room and make her bed (no she doesnt make it proper but it is the trying that counts).
I would love to know if any of these comments were from single parents..???
did you not read the fourm's this is a single parent forum so yep I think the comment's have come from single parent's. Some may be in a relationship now but they were single parent's at some point. So I am pretty sure we know what we are saying in our post's as well. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:35:48 AM | The parent who has the child always suffers finanacially?
Not all single parents are poor, speak for yourself but dont generalize all of us | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 7:32:56 AM | | Every case is different. What I see and read in a lot of posts is still anger and hostility towards ex's male or female. The entire child support system is screwed up. My case, we are separated not divorced, no paperwork even filed and she has a child support order for $540 a month. My child is 6 attends 1st grade, goes to day care after school ($57 a week), and I see all the posts about the child needing lights/food/water etc. My ex has 3 other kids from a previous marriage of which she gets no child support at all, and now with 4 kids the state is giving her $775 a month in food stamps, to go with her full time job making about $14 an hour so she has $1315 a month before her income gets involved. Now my $540 a month was based on income from a job I held less than 4 months. So I lose a job I still have bills to pay as well and see my daughter every day I could, I still have rent, car note, etc, but with the child support order I have had to change jobs and move 200 miles away just for me to survive financially. Child support should not break the bank of the parent paying it. My original take home pay was roughly $2400/month, paid $850 for rent, $531 for care note, now add in child support of %540 a month,..just those 3 factors alone is over $1900 a month, leaving me less than $500 a month to pay for my own lights, water, food, gas for my car, car insurance. I could not afford to stay living there, not and live somewhere where I thought it was safe, not for me, but for her to be able to go outside and play, make friends, ride her bike. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, I buried my son 12 years ago from SIDS, so my child does not really want for anything, so this is not a case of I dont believe in paying child support, I do, but I believe the math they use to figure it is way wrong. | |
|
| |
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 7:50:00 AM | The parent who has the child always suffers finanacially?
Not all single parents are poor, speak for yourself but dont generalize all of us
Nor is every parent who doesn't have custody loaded to the point where their own financial stability cannot become precarious with certain support judgments.
But this is the line of thinking that puts us in the boat we're in right now. There are not 2 sets of laws... one for people who take their parental responsibilities seriously, and one for those who walk away from them. We all get lumped into the "those who walk away from them" category. Our children pay for the mistakes of others, and it won't ever change because of the narrow-sighted views like those stated above in other posts.
Those are the views that model our justice system because it helps keep lawyers in business. The lawyers are going to play it up just like Jim Carey in "Liar, Liar" because it's easy to get the knee-jerk support from people who are outraged. Even though they've all got clients they could use as examples, they will show the children who suffer at the hands of a "deadbeat" before they'll show you the children who suffer at the hands of a biased court system.
Why? The law actually can make a difference in the life of the child who has parents that aren't going to walk away from them, but they can't do anything about a deadbeat who walks away from their responsibilities (regardless of enforceable child support). What do you think that would say about the justice system if people witnesssed that the good they can do never gets done? They simply throw the deadbeat poster over top of those cases and hope you won't lift up the corner to see what they're hiding. | |
|
| Acceptable child support purchases....
Posted: 10/5/2008 8:08:47 AM |
Really? wow..i had no idea..i think that comment was a slap in the face to all single parents out there..dont ya think?
How dare you think you can apply your own priorities and beliefs to other single parents!! I am a single parent and have never received a red cent from my child's father, and I still have the ethics and common sense to know that child support is for supporting the child (groceries, clothes, activities, utilities, etc) not the mother's luxuries. Shame on you for thinking it's ok to spend child support on yourself--movies, martinis, dates with a new man!
Children do NOT need expensive clothes or their own computers. I have a child who is in high school and not once did any school indicate having one at home is a requirement. That's a lot of crap.
In actuality you are HARMING your child by providing everything to them and only the most expensive or brand name items because you're not teaching them that every single person in the world should have to work for their luxuries and that they can have anything they want by snapping their little fingers.
People in my parents' and grandparents' generations didn't get everything handed to them and they, in general, have a lot better work ethic, sense of responsibility and common sense than the children we are raising in the "me" generation. My grandma grew up in a home where she had to share a bed and room with her two sisters--I have never heard her complain that she was abused, she handles her money, owns a home and vehicle, saved for her retirement, welcomes family and friends into her home for gettogethers and when traveling, raised responsible, compassionate children with strong family values and continues to be a source of support to all of us well into her 80.
Maybe you should take a look at adopting some of my Grandma's values. You and your children might be a little better off.
Nutt | |
|
|
| Page 4 of 6
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
|
Home
login 
