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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/1/2008 7:24:41 PM | | That;s crazy to assume someone would cheat just because they use toys..?? Or using toys is cheating? I don't cheat and I don't consider using toys cheating. I would hope my lover would enjoy the experimentations... :) | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/1/2008 7:37:25 PM | I'm sorry but I don't accept your stereotype
I have in the past purchased toys for my partner
I am happy they can use them together with me or for self pleasure when alone.
Everyone has masturbated on occasion even when in a relationship. It is not cheating, its just fulfilling a desire, giving in to a need... de stressing, unwinding or just enjoying a pleasure your entitled to experience.
If that is cheating all self stimulation is, I guess we should all cut off our hands and for those that have them... thrown out their toys....
I do not agree
I'd hate to have to tell my right hand I have been cheating with my left one. | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 5:24:58 PM | | I do not personally use "toys" but from what I read, he seems to be a bit insecure. I know plenty of women use them and that is preference. But I do not see where it would ever be considered cheating. That is odd. I LOVE sex and do not mind getting down and dirty, but that should not have anything to do with being faithful. Well, not in my eyes. I would never cheat, not in my blood. Dare, sounds like he has issues. Maybe more than Reader's Digest. | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:30:43 PM |
This is not a general stereotype. Something tells me you are dealing with a guy who isn't very secure about himself and thus doesn't trust the women he is with.
Usually guys BRAG if they have a girlfriend who is a little more adventurous.. not accuse her of being less faithful than another girl... that's just shooting himself in the foot.
I KNOW!
This was my now ex ...He was furious when he found out I had a 7 inch vibrating look-alike penis...he was all..."so the truth comes out I dont satisfy you" "Im not good enough" I was like "its not that I just need it more often than you do and want it more often than you do and...you should be glad its a toy and not someone else...I dont have a problem with using it when you dont want to do anything or arent around to do anything...it doesnt mean I dont enjoy it with you"(It went on forever) he had a look like I had just cheated on him! I actually felt so bad I promised not to use it if it bothered him so much...but in my head I knew it was bs...even though I honored my promise while we were together... | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:17:36 PM | WOW leave for a day come back and a zillion responses hehehehe
whytwater,
LOL
alooooohaha,
it was a 7inch (he was 7 too so it wasnt bigger lol) vibrating look-alike penis
Most men I date believe I'm not satisfied if I use a vibrator. They say they should be enough. What is the big deal anyways. It is a toy not a person. At least I don't cheat. I don't call using a vibrator cheating. The more I have sex the more I want and to satisfy my drive I have to use a vibrator when they are not around.
EXACTLY!
Thunderstorms62,
I believe he does have issues
and LOL would love to know which forum that is lmao
m_church,
haha cute
I think most men expect a woman to have a toy. I have always had a partner and he used to puchase toys for me, that we could have fun in the bedroom together with!!
I know...I have never run into this with anyone before...he is the first
strawbs08,
good idea
I hear you girl!!! Only one man l have been with so far has encouraged me to use toys and he was the one to introduce them. Otherwise the other guys l have been with seem to view the toy as competition and as a sign that they don't satisfy me. Trying to explain that l just like the variety and that the toys can be pleasurable for both of us and geesh, means less work for him, is like smashing my head against the wall. I don't understand it personally. I have also had the same experience of it being that because l have a high drive, my men find it hard to believe l can be faithful to them. I have said time and again that my brain is separate from my nether regions and that even though my drive might be screaming for some action, l am quite capable of controlling my urges till they are around to help me with it...doesn't help, they still have troubles believing. It is a crying shame because many a potentially good relationship has been ruined because of this. I am rather surprised that there are so many people still not exploring the wonderful world of toys, does wonders to keep the sex life alive and kicking.....*sigh* what can you do? JMO
I know right? In my opinion it would actually enhances the sex life therefore making the relationship more desirable so that the woman doesnt find someone new
§püngl䧧,
thats true
Darkhorseman,
sometimes a good laugh is all I need thanx
brown_eyed_woman, I know right?
OutMind,
right...bc she is more satisfied so she is hot enough to actually WANT to get into givin the bj
scottoliver,
Thanx for the vote :)
lonestardaddy,
life without toys is just dull...so true
If a man is jealous of a woman's toys, it's his problem. They are there to help enhance a sex life, not hurt it. It's a sexual tool. The same as men watch porn and women get jealous. It's a tool. How can someone be upset at inanimate objects. Yes I consider porn inanimate objects.
I used to get jealous at porn so I understand where u r coming from...just that now I realized that it gets them horny and Im the one whos there to get f-cked real good lol...so unlike alot of women him jack'n off or watching porn doesnt bother me...so long as I am gettin plenty too ya know...save me some thats all...I never turned him down ya know...even though there were times he did me...and that didnt fly bc it wasnt just occasionally or that he had a physical reason...it was all about controling the situation I think...he was weird like that...almost like he felt used if i wanted it more he wouldnt do it just to withold it from me... and give it to me maybe once a week or every 2 weeks I mean...omg I have a super sex drive and that just didnt cut it!! once a day I could deal with even though there are plenty of times I want it several times a day...I could even deal with every other day if I had to but...that was just ridiculus...and there was no other reason...no other girl he never jacked off...he thought that was wrong...yeah...alot of weirdness there...and no he wasnt gay either lol
they should invent a dong or vibrator that cuddles you also !!! then men would be happy , leave the sex to the man and the cuddling to your toys , what a happy world we would live in ......
hahahaha aint that the truth
newblue1970,
I think so too
I love women with toys... especially if they let me use them on her.
:)
phishkev,
sad that ppl think they have to 'gently' break it to someone...sexual communication and openess should be a required thing BEFORE you even have sex I think...bc...how boring is it when you dont? Pretty boring...unfortunately we never had that discussion about toys till he freaked!
Come on, sing with me! (It's my party, Lesley Gore)
It's my body and I'll play if I want to
play if I want to
play if I want to.
You would play too if you had a vibrator like I do...do do dodo DO!
Funny my ex-hub was actually jealous of my vibrator...prolly 'cause he knew he was completely inadequate compared to it.
Kaylie
ahahaha Ive never heard that one...Looooove it!
The majority of men I know are all too happy to bring toys into it, so long as they aren't toys that make them feel inadequate...he might be a little worried if you pull out a monster****that bends into 8 different positions and vibrates to Naughty Girl by Beyonce.
hehehe :P
Cailin part II,
Exactly! | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:23:07 PM | | I guess I must be in the minority that the OP mentioned because not only am I not jealous of or intimidated by my partner having toys, I am usually encouraging them to get them. Sex Toys Are Fun!!!!! | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:46:46 PM | no_1_bby, ya thats important to me too...that its something we do together bc...I also think i get to pick lol
mydoggie, yeah...I have 2 backups just incase the motor burns up lol
But, women have hands AND toys! Lol. Where's the justice in that? Who's gonna help us men put 18,000,000 cracks in this glass ceiling? We need research and development! Technical and logistical support! Funding! Leadership! Grassroots support! Field offices! Covert ops! Commando raids! LMAO! Instead, we spent all of our organizational energy on Million Man marches.
Despite these grievous social inequities, I wholeheartedly support every woman's use of whatever tool, technology, or power source irrigates her sexuality. Toys are the perfect gift for every holiday where gifts are in any way indicated, including Easter baskets, mixed in with all the chocolate stuff. Hell, I'm in favor of adding subliminal messages to the Lifetime channel.
I was married to a dry hole in Oklahoma, and that way, men, leads to madness.
There, that's how I'd wage the battle of the sexes. Blind 'em with science! Satiate their senses. Make 'em purr, 24/7. The alternatives are all bad. :)
verygreeneyez
Precicely!
isabelle_guns, Ya he didnt like me to touch myself either...made him feel inadequate as well...heck most men love that sh-t and eat it up ya know?!
the kit is a neat idea...I will have to tell him next time I talk to him bc i still talk to him ocasionally even though we r no longer together
f itguy32, the toy wasnt getting it more than he was...he just wasnt into sex that often
BigDaddyJinx, loved ur post :P
It never replaced him. and its currently in my closet in a box and been there for a cpl months atleast lol theres also a cpl backups in there :P | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:51:29 PM | I went out and bought my ex a vibe, I figured the more she learned to enjoy her body the better it would be for sex in general.
Didn't work, it was a short-lived (but really fun) reconcilliation.
G | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 9:05:40 PM | And really.. men have hands and toys too... perhaps not nearly as many options.. no.. wait.. that's not true. For a man who is.. um.. uninhibited in his sexuality there are just as many toys available to him as to a woman.
yes thats true :P 
richg30, ya big turn on for me too
love women who love getting themselves off. Nothing is hotter. Toys.. Hands.. Shower head.. Its all good. If it feels good... Go for it.
The only way I'd get jealous is if you don't share every now and then. I don't mind watching, listening, or being told about your last session. Such a turn on.
Now the only question is... Is it pants around the ankles and 2 minutes of buzzbuzz or is it bubble bath, scented candles, barry white and 30 minutes of buzz buzz.
Only way it be the 30 min session would be if my partner was around playing along...omg do ppl actually fall in love with their vibrators?! rotflmao
classy BBW,
Ya...I think I personally need someone just as comfy with their sexuality as i am with mine...yup...thats the verdict here lol
namrael,and really they shouldnt have issues with it maybe thats why he's an ex now...hmmm
fish4em, omg thats so not funny but tis at the same time hehehe
Jamesbondson, I dont think thats the typical woman...healthy women can do without it if the choose to...and dont develop an immunity to a good vibrator...motors do burn out over time and replacements are needed and better models have been made....I would upgrade if I had the finances to do so occasionally...and they came out with a better or more efficient one or better quality...even toys have poor and high qualities | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 9:18:30 PM | SweetSassyLadyOXOX,
Same here :)
yepimlonelytoo, I know right?
Atlantadayguy1, I didnt say it was cheating...just the opposite
AuburnDiva, ya more issues than readers digest is true!!!
produceninja, arent they though? :P
tronvillain, thats awesome...I think more men should be open about what they do instead pretending they dont...I think its a HUGE turn on for a guy to have toys!!!
Softcurvelover, which was no fault of the vibrator right?
and yes there are quite a few women that get super ticked about a man masturbating ...I am not one of them...I love to watch!!  | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 9:30:04 PM | OP,
I know exactly what you mean.......I never understood it either until I really got the answer from my now ex.
It really wasnt so much about me using the toy as much as it was WHEN.
A man (to my understanding) doesnt really care that you have a toy.....its more about the TIMING.
Have you used it prior to or just after seeing him?....THIS is when a man will feel as though he has some "competition"...when YOU use "it" when you COULD have had HIM. ( understandable right?)
I will put it like this........
How would you feel if you were just about to see your man and he got himself off.....EVEN THOUGH you would have been happy to oblige? OR what if you had JUST left your man and he decided to get off to porn intstead of you when you were there?
This is the same kind of hurt.....I truly never knew why it would hurt a man until I asked.....makes perfect sense I believe.
Women ( IMHO) want it both ways.....we want our men to want us but also for our men to know we like our toys.......HOWEVER......GOD FORBID a man enjoys a little porn now again........sorry ladies....just some food for thought...ok? | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/2/2008 10:09:45 PM |
I'm not really into toys but whytwater's post sounded really persuasive..lol..
Thanks, Free Spirit! (entering "impressionable mind" into FFS dossier, hehehe) | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:47:28 AM | | m church ,,,Hahaha, this thread is suppose to be ex rated, and makes some one horndawg , but your reply is so funny that it hurts my stomach for laughing and I losed that horndawg feeling ,Oh well! it 's alright I have no toys to play with any way... | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/3/2008 3:36:49 AM |
(Checking cyber dossier on No1bby) But, but, I thought . . . you gave such great answers in all those anal threads! (Pencils in one, and only one, for No1bby).
*blushes* I have a dossier??? *big cheesy grin* COOL!!! *shouting to the masses* Hey everyone!! I have a DOSSIER!!!!!!
I have no idea. but then I go out and buy the toys for her myself. *chuckle*
Tron baby (long time no see - *big smooch* ).. I know about the kind of toys you get for her.. hehehe.. hell.. cyber shopping with you is kick a$$!!!! | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/3/2008 5:47:11 AM |
dare2loveagain
Atlantadayguy1, I didnt say it was cheating...just the opposite
I did not say you said it was cheating ..... you said you didn't consider it unfaithful and I agree...
Several of the other posters expounded upon the theme and stated they or their partner did consider it a forum of faithlessness or cheating as it were. I can only say this mindset is one embraced by people with inferiority complexes that may result in performance anxiety which can degrade their ability to please their partner.
While it would be nice to assume education counceling or maturity would resolve these issues over time, some people will never experience the personal growth that is a prerequisite to their realizing its not about them. Its about their acknowledgment, support and, acceptance of your need without having to view it through the prism of their own ego or lack there of.
for the record
Kinky is when you let your man rub a feather all over your naked body
Perversion is when he uses the whole chicken.
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/3/2008 12:32:18 PM | Communication I think is key...
If you are sexually solo... the vibe.. your BEST FRIEND! :) woo hoo
If you have a partner, talk about how they feel about toys. Personally, I get excited when a man asks if he can use a toy on me... shows that he is in tune with my pleasure. Several friends have commented that their sexual partners will use a toy to give the woman an orgasm first...... and then, penetrate her to reach his orgasm.
That's HOT! :) woo! | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:23:18 PM | | Ugh... Im sorry to hear there are those men out there that feel that are intimidated by sex toys and masturbation. I have found quite the opposite. Women who use toys and masturbate are more sexual with me and are more comfortable with their sexuality. The are also better teachers b/c they know, from masturbating, how they like it. If you service your lover well they come back. Funny how that works... | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/4/2008 11:48:08 AM |
I did not say you said it was cheating ..... you said you didn't consider it unfaithful and I agree... ok sorry I misunderstood ...my mistake.
Several of the other posters expounded upon the theme and stated they or their partner did consider it a forum of faithlessness or cheating as it were. I can only say this mindset is one embraced by people with inferiority complexes that may result in performance anxiety which can degrade their ability to please their partner.
While it would be nice to assume education counceling or maturity would resolve these issues over time, some people will never experience the personal growth that is a prerequisite to their realizing its not about them. Its about their acknowledgment, support and, acceptance of your need without having to view it through the prism of their own ego or lack there of.
So very true
for the record
Kinky is when you let your man rub a feather all over your naked body
Perversion is when he uses the whole chicken.
LOL EXACTLY ahahahahahaha | |
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| Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful
Posted: 10/4/2008 11:49:40 AM |
Communication I think is key...
If you are sexually solo... the vibe.. your BEST FRIEND! :) woo hoo
If you have a partner, talk about how they feel about toys. Personally, I get excited when a man asks if he can use a toy on me... shows that he is in tune with my pleasure. Several friends have commented that their sexual partners will use a toy to give the woman an orgasm first...... and then, penetrate her to reach his orgasm.
That's HOT! :) woo!
That IS HOT!!! | |
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